Friday, August 15, 2008


This beautiful photo best represents the Habs of today, saying goodbye to the fading and sucking Habs of yesterday.

The Hockey News
has unveiled its predictions for the forthcoming NHL season. And it goes a little something like this (always wanted to say that):

"Forget that two of the worst off-season free agent signings (Michael Ryder in Boston and Jeff Finger in Toronto) speak to the sizeable desperation levels existing in this division. Forget that, aside from the astounding Canadiens, there are medium-to-mountain-sized holes in every other team in the Northeast."

I love you, The Hockey News.

RDS has also spread the euphoria around by citing THN's claim that the Habs would finish first in the East. Et pourquoi pas?

Gone I say! Gone are the days where every media outlet on the face of this round, porous, and ozone challenged Earth rushed out the gate in a mad scramble to predict a season-long collapse for a Canadiens team they had ruminating somewhere between 13th and 15th place in the Conference. Today, we stand among the mighty, on the lands of a summit we once groomed with daily affection.

It is indeed a joyful day. I want to feed the hungry squirrels in the parks of Montreal. I want to cook for the homeless. I want to learn Spanish and sing to my neighbour Maria-Fernanda. I want to paint the skies a bright bright Thulian pink. I want to sign my name in bleu, blanc, rouge across the heartlands of Oklahoma. I want to then explain to a confused people in Oklahoma why I am here, and why I signed my name in bleu, blanc, rouge. I want to make love. Dammit, I want to make love.

Maybe I just need my morning coffee. Have a nice day everyone.


HabsFan29 said...

meh. i think we're just setting ourselves up for disaapointment

/too soon for pessimism?

fezworth said...

not too soon at all. THN picking us for 1st in the East fills me with dread.

Did they have to actually explicitly pan the Ryder deal? Now he's going to score 40 goals, with 30 coming against the Habs.


panger76 said...

The fcat is the Habs have followed the same pattern for several years: an overachieving year followed by an underachiving year. Guess which one iwe're scheduled for this year?

Also, all the teams in the league are so close (ok, except the Leafs) that only a few things going wrong (i.e. injuries or off years) can sink a team.

Fear the Collapse.

Habsfan10 said...

Screw all you pessimistic sumbitches! Big Tits is gonna score 234 goals, TFS is gonna win 64 games, and Jaro is sleeping with every hot blond on the continent. Doom will finish the year with a plus/minus of + 313. Big Georges will rip Chara's spine right out of his body Mortal Kombat style, and during a mid-March game, the Habs will have so many goals against the Rangers by the end of the first that Dubi will strip naked, charge centre ice at MSG and renact a scene from Saw III before his brain finally implodes.
Eklund will claim that a Sundin decision is "any day now". It's gonna be a good year.

HabsFan29 said...

@10 - +250 (for the number of points Habs will have at the end of the year)

Anonymous said...

Fucking sublime post.


lawyergirl77 said...

You know, after years of being told that we suck, I'm deeply pessimistic about predictions that we won't.

I always get nervous when we AREN'T the underdog - last year's playoffs, to me, are a case in point.

On paper, however, I can see where the predictions come from. But we all know that those stats mean sweet fuck all when the season starts... (Paging SLC, Paging Mr. Lost Cojones)

Is this perpetual state of worry/paranoia/dispair/elation a Habs' fan's natural state?

F lying Toaster said...

After years of sucking? Yeah, we've been conditioned to react like that. So it became our natural state and it'll take years of re-programming to have a natural optimistic state.

Oh and Habsfan10, you forgot something: Little Tits getting 87 fighting majors... And winning every one of them.

HabsFan29 said...

Is this perpetual state of worry/paranoia/dispair/elation a Habs' fan's natural state?

100% yes. It's amazing to me, as someone who grew up a Habs fan in the 70's, what Habs fandom has become. Back then it was a perpetual state of confidence and superiority. The Houle-Tremblay years destroyed it all

Number31 said...

On one hand, Gainey is in the office, Jarvis is an assistant, when Kovy loses his helmet he kind of looks like it's almost like the 70s...right?

Maybe it won't be so bad. The kids are alright. And hey, they just signed Streit 2.0 Yannick Weber who's a better defender, so that combined with a couple of other Bulldogs, doesn't look too shabby.

Chumplet said...

I was beginning to think the Habs were cursed when they moved out of The Forum, but it finally seems as if
things are looking up.

My dad helped spruce up the Forum in '68 and even shared lunch with Number Four in the cafeteria.

I'm currently working on a story where four geriatrics kidnap their buddy from a nursing home in Chandler to take one last road trip to a Habs game.