Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Is this the Master Plan? Carey-fication??

Hi, I'm Petey, this is my goalie Carey, and this is my other goalie Karri.

So now that's we've had a little time to consider this Karri Ramo for Cedrick Desjardins deal, we've come up with two explanations.

Explanation Number One (which makes at least some hockey sense): The Goat intends for Karri to join Carey as his backup next season. More than that, based on the fact that the 25-year old Ramo already has two 20-plus NHL seasons, and last season had a pretty good year as full-time starter in the KHL, he'll challenge for the starter's role. If Carey The First falters this year as full-time, undisputed starter, the Goat has a 'backup plan' (heh, pun) in Karri The Second next year.

And let's not get too wrapped up with Cedrick the Puck-Stopper being the next coming of Georges Vezina. He was undrafted, and was the 17th ranked Habs prospect at Hockey' Future. His NHL upside was likely only to be a backup. I like the kid, he obviously knows how to win, but at 24 he hasn't played an NHL game. I'll wait a season and take the KHL starter, thank you.

Explanation Number Two (which admittedly is less likely, but would enshrine Geoff Molson into the Crazy/Rogue Owner Club with Harold Ballard, Jerry Jones and Mark Cuban. Hey, the Habs didn't win any Cups under the caretaker Uncle George, why hope for a different result with the same approach?): Geoff Molson and Pierre Gauthier have a plan, including several more planned acquisitions.

Not just a plan, but a Master Plan. A great vision for the franchise, which they have dubbed "Carey-fication."

Acquiring Karri to back up/challenge Carey as soon as next year was only Step 1.

Step 2: Anoint new goaltending coach.

Next, the Master Plan calls for hiring former NHL goaltender Kari Takko as a special goaltending consultant. With the acquisition of a young Finnish goaltender, it was important to introduce someone with similar experiences: like being a marginal NHL talent who runs back to Europe when the going gets rough.

Step 3: Acquire new National Anthem Singer (and husband).

Hey, Mike Fisher can play on my team any day. Has some size, decent hands, and a good work ethic. Problem is, The Goat will probably give up PK to get him. All to Carey-fy the pre-game rituals by adding Mrs. Carrie Fisher. She may be NHL WAG #1, a good singer (if you call country 'music'), and obviously she was properly named. But I still prefer the original.

Step 4: Hire New flexibility coach.

Remember all those injuries last season? Forget strength and conditioning, it's all due to lack of proper stretching. Duh - even the Vikings knew the importance of stretching before a battle. So why not hire a former Olympic gold medalist who's all about the bendy? Plus, Keri Strug didn't turn out half bad. (And, I hear she's a gymnast in bed.)

Finally, Step 5: Add New Assistant to the GM.

Hi there, Carrie Prejean and Trump's boobs. Why? Because The Goat needs someone to make him look smart.

You know you're despereate for puck when you're googling "Carrie Prejean". Fucking sign someone already, Goat. We're bored.


GoldenGirl11 said...

If Carey doesn't sign and Karri is our goalie, PG may be forced to commit Hari Kari.

Kmaxx said...

GG - Another outstanding bit of photoswapping! Thank you both for helping me get through another cold, wet, hockeyless day in the UK

HabsFan29 said...

Sexy Friday 2 days early! Giggidy

fine work GG and Panger

moeman said...

heh, too funny but where is Drew Carey?

WV = shiploon

Mr. natural said...

@GG11: LOL
@moeman, What you too!?

How about getting Mariah Carey to sing the anthems,she could do a duet with Corey Hart and then he could wrestle with Brett the Hit Man Hart and then he could mate with either Robert Wagner or Stephanie Powers,,,,OK I'll stop now.


Habsfan10 said...

What, no Carrie-Anne Moss?

Number31 said...

Apparently Carrie Underwood doesn't want to live in Ottawa. Hey Mike, you just got Prongered.