Wednesday, July 07, 2010

The Morning Skate wonders who will be in the lineup next year for Wednesday, July 7th

Bullet points for what you missed while having nightmares of heading to the slammer for 90 days...
  • So your Habs lineup next year will not include any of the following who were all UFA's: Dominictrix, Urologist, Mara, and Métro. So that leaves a 3rd and 4th lines of what, Tommy Pyatt and Mathieu DarCHe? Ben Maxwell? Mad Max's non-existent contract? Dustin Boyd? Lars Eller? Ryan White? Andrew Conboy? Can anyone help me out here?
  • Jaro cashes in with the Blues to the tune of four years and 15 mill. He meke meny moneys;
  • Little Tits will be officially looking for gangsters in Nashville. Considering the dinky contract (550k), he'll need some cash;
  • Vancouver's GM Place is no more. Say hello to Rogers Arena. That's original;
  • We're sure you were all breathlessly anticipating Bertrand Raymond's reaction to the Boivin-Molson shift;
  • I have some sad news. I may be leaving you soon. I found a new job.
FUCK YEAH ORANJE!!!!! One game away from blow jobs for everyone!

15 comments:

bea.habs.fan said...

as much as you would be a breath of fresh air in the Canadiens organization, given that the majority do not get sarcasm, sarcasm your talents would be wasted. better to stick to people who appreciate and love you.

HUP HUP HOLLAND!!!!

(if the blow job promise is anything like the free ice cream and meth promised during the year ...)

swarkles said...

Eh I could do that job. Except for the 2 years experience part.

Also I know 550k is nothing for a hockey player but I would definitely not mind making that kind of money.

Can someone explain to me this whole Hup Holland business? Does Hup stand for Cup or something?

Number31 said...

To fill out the 3rd and 4th line they'll do what they usually do, which is take names that don't fit anywhere else and toss them in a bag. Random draw!

Hadulf said...

29, you would be fucking perfect for that job!

soperman said...

Ahh 29, have read any of the stuff on the "official" site? You are doing "God's work". You know - strippers and hockey. I can't imagine you putting a positive spin on a bullshit move like the Halak trade. Or writing three paragraphs without referring to our GM as "the Goat".

Actually, take the job! You won't last long but it would be entertaining for a couple of days.

HabsFan29 said...

@swarkles - Hup Holland Hup = Go Habs Go essentially

i would love get the job and cause havoc for 2 days and get fired. oh the stories i would have

ezzeloharr said...

@HF29: I'm sure they have a screening process involving Timmins scouting you out and then rejecting you because you're (presumably) not from an American high school.

Kankwan said...

People says that on a certain Quebec rumour forum. They kinda know stuff, so someone sees the bottom six like this:
BOYD-ELLER-MOEN
DARCHE-LAPIERRE-PYATT

whatever..

soperman said...

Apparently Eklund got the job.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Bobbi Eden.... I'm speechless. Thank god I have boys.

Habsfan10 said...

@GG:

Are your boys on twitter?

GoldenGirl11 said...

@10
one is, one thinks it's as stupid as it actually is and two are too young although what the hell do I know. Maybe my 10 year old is one of Bobbi's 5,114 fans because he thinks a blow job has something to do with balloons.

Mr. natural said...

Hola amigos, Viva Espana.

It would be a big upset, Spain was/is considered by many to be the best team in the world.

HMmmm....wonder how the savior would do in a soccer net?


*YAWN*!

PHucken PHantasia PHilm PHest starts this week, always a goof or two there...and that's just in the loine up to get itn!

mr trivia said...

bobby eden has WAY more than 5114 followers now. hope she has some mentos.

wv: skagge

je m'souviens said...

29: ditto that. youde be perfect for that job but you gotta be a wanker or related to one to even be sniffed at. regardless... let me write a letter of recommendation for you when the time comes. i havent started it yet but it would look something like this:

(subway letterhead)
(date)
From the desk of je m'souviens,

Dear Sirs,

This is a letter of recommendation for one habsfan29. From the short time that I have known him, I cannot attest to his abilities or potential in your organisation, however I can confirm that he has the rarest of those most desirable talents which is consistently being able to dig up timely pictures of internet babes and to find previously unknown sources of conditional bjs. Please see post on July 07 2010....