Friday, July 23, 2010

Sexy Friday would like TFS to FUCKING SIGN A CONTRACT ALREADY


"You know how I am, roll as you go," Price said. "I'm a restricted free agent, it's pretty much wait and see and come to an agreement that is fair to both sides."

Yeah, we know how you are, Dude. You roll as you go, you Phat Wale, that's for sure, no bongs for you. But some of us are starting to FREAK THE FUCK OUT. Negotiations are ongoing, everyone tells us. HOW MUCH FUCKING NEGOTIATION DO YOU NEED??? Seriously, it's not as if Habs management is out there swinging all sorts of deals and signing all sorts of free agents. They FUCKING HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO. So what is the major malfunction here? What is the holdup? Are the Habs low balling? Is the Phat Wale holding out for bigger bucks because of how instrumental he was in the Habs' run to the Eastern Conference Finals? Seriously, as a lawyer I have negotiated much more complicated deals in much less time than this has dragged on. I looked at a calendar today; it's almost fucking August! The summer is OVER. The season is just around the corner, and Cedric Desjardins will be our starter. GGGAAHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Happy Sexy Friday everyone.

22 comments:

Allan Walsh said...

Perhaps he needs a new advisor, eh? He is not too stupid, as evidenced by choice of who he is ink in your picture.

Do not get your pants ruffled. It only July. If he were my client, not to be confused with the client, I wold hold out for a small modicum of respect and $3.5M loonies.

I will Twitter more to Eliot and you may watch it on the television.

Chester said...

What is it that he is rolling, and where is he going with whatever he rolled?
I'm confused ... I guess I don't speak goalie.

L Dude said...

Don't sweat it 29. He's going to sign at $2.5M for 3 years. The end. Probably announce it next week.

We need to worry about more serious things this time of year like why aren't there more hot sweaty babe pics posted on FHF considering it's the dog days of summer. You have to scroll to July 10 just to see a thin boy in a bikini and some oranje clad blondes that aren't showing near enough skin to count. I know - you're a big oranje fan...

but great job on the current pic.

soperman said...

"Cedric the Entertainer" or "Alex the Bald", whomever starts is fine with me.

Seriously Carey, Dude, the Habs gambled their future on you with you not showing anything to merit their confidence. The team gambled on your potential. Dude, every draft pick has potential, ya gotta do something with it. If you read any blogs, you have to know the ball is in your court - prove the naysayers wrong, but you have to do something, starting with signing the fucking contract!

soperman said...

I hope that Carey did not catch a "hand-related" STD that left him unable to sign a contract. G-warts on the knuckles are a bitch to get rid of....

swarkles said...

Out of curiosity, what would happen if he didn't sign a contract and the season started?

Dirt said...

He would be gang-raped by an mob of angry montreals at the tam-tams while lighting up.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Dirt
but he wouldn't really care because he'd be high as a kite and dancing bearfoot with a braless girl at the time of attack.

kevincrumbs said...

Phat Whale needs to share some of his sticky icky with FHFers.

moeman said...

We need a Pants!cast.

dwgs said...

Excellent tyop GG. He is from northern BC after all.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@dwgs
You caught that, huh? That's exactly what I meant... Uh, ya, exactly *stupid ihpone autotype*

jesse said...

I wouldn't worry too much. He's obviously just baked (he's a BC boy), and will get around to it eventually. The season doesn't start for a while yet, doesn't matter.

Number31 said...

He's waiting for his birthday.

Moey said...

Totally off topic, but a burning question.

GG, LG & 31, want to know your opinions on that eyelash growing serum Latisse. Possible side effects - darkening of eyelid, pigmentation problems on upper eyelid. WTF? But look at me, I'm freakin' Bambi!

Methinks I'll just stick to mascara.

Thoughts?

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moey
Have you ever heard of eyelash extensions? Similar upkeep and expense as acrylic nails but very nice.

Jaybird said...

"I roll as I go"

Dude for sure. Or DouCHe.

Roll your fuckin fatass down to the office and sign the contract....corona in hand and smoke(s) in mouth for all I care so we can continue watching you let in that untimely 5 hole goal with seven minutes left in the game. When is that issue going to be resolved Carey?

Money isn't given for shooting pucks at Semin after a goal or 15 year old girls knocked up. Grow up.

Sorry that pissed me off.

Number31 said...

@Moey
I have no idea what you're talking about, sorry. I barely wear any makeup...

Brrrrrrrrrock Trotter goes KHL :( Now we're left with Rrrrrrrrrryan Rrrrrussell for those R-rolling goal calls.

Moey said...

@GG,

Good idea! They do that at the spa that I go to, I'll check it out. Had the acrylics for 12 yrs but gave them up, I'm seriously considering going back to those too.

b said...

Brock Trotter, make that Brock Traitor, just signed with the Lithuanian team in the KHL. Maybe the Phat Whale is talking to the Russkies.

Methinks French guys are much less likely to jump ship. Language barriers keep 'em 'ome.

Number31 said...

I don't really think he's a traitor... I mean it's not like he left mid-October with a contract still to fulfill under the guise of 'family emergency' (looking at you, Tank). I think he'll be back in a year like some other Bulldogs did. Get paid a bit more money, get to play in a somewhat higher level of sorts, see a new land... It's all good.

Maybe he can also bring us Girts Ankipans, aka. ACTION PANTS!

gillis said...

meh