The Morning Skate for Sexy Friday, November 6th

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of a sexy Rachel Bilson...

• From Big Fat Whale to puck throwing-back Franchise Saviour in 65+ minutes. TFS leads the Habs to a 2-1 SO win over the Bs. The ladies above are confused. Shout out to Tits as well who did all the work on the Habs goal. More later today;
• Spezza gets his first goal of the season, the OT winner over the Bolts;
• Chris Higgins actually scores a goal in the Rangers win over the Oil;
• Nucks win their 3rd straight with a lineup almost as depleted as the Habs;
• Kings beat the Pens 5-2. Wait, that can't be right. [checks] It is. The Kings are 6-0-2 in their last 8? The Kings have the NHL's leading point getter? That can't all be right? [checks] It is.

Mmm, long form video highlights after a win.

Ooohhhhh yeah, it's a Boston game preview and open thread

GG11 really outdid herself with this one

Well look at what we have here. A mediocre Bruins team against a mediocre Habs team. This should be epic! Well not really. And it's tough to get the Bs hate on with both teams so meh. Maybe HF10 should have written this; his Bs hate always burns hotter than a Wooderson joint. OK, so I'm just gonna ramble a bit while you don't pay attention because you're staring at today's game pic. I'm not paying attention either, so don't worry about insulting me by barely reading.

The game starts at 7 in Beantown and there will be hot McSplooging action. Though given the mediocrity of the two teams, it may be difficult for McSplooge to find someone to splooge over. This is the first of 6 meetings this year. Including last year's playoff nightmare, Habs have lost 9 straight to the B's. Bring on the double digits. No Bs preview would be complete without a link to our good friend Cornelius.

Your hot Habs worth watching are the only players who seem to be able to score, GMS and Pleks. On the lettuce and tomato cold side, there's just about everyone else. Of course we don't need to mention Tits, pointless in 6 games now. The Urologist is pointless in 5. And take a deep breath before you read TFS' stats in his last 7 games - 0-6-0, 4.24, .851. But he's chill about it.

For the Bs, there is no one hot at all, unless you count Krejci who has a fever because of the Swine Flu. The Bs can't score. They've been shut out in their last 2 games and their PP is dead last in the league. They have managed to stay in games with some good goaltending though. Particular shout out of suckitude to Michael Ryder, pointless in 6. Oh man that's a jinx.

This might be a very long injury paragraph. The internets were saying that Gio is a game time decision, but RDS has him playing. Hal Gill might be out a couple of weeks at least. Dagger's concussion will keep him out for a week. Bs aren't faring much better on the injury front, without Savard, Lucic, and the aforementioned H1N1'er Krejci. Stubbs' and RDS' Tweets have TFS starting, and the news that Pyatt and White are playing, while Stewie and CHips are out. No offense JM, but CHips is not the problem here.

For some post-game semi-adult entertainment in the Boston spirit, enjoy this photo gallery of NESN sideline babe Heidi Watney. Feel free to let it start a Heidi vs. EA debate in the comments.

Sorry you're stuck with our old-fashioned blogging comments unlike HI/O's fancy-schmancy new live chat. Feel free to go over there if you want. Just make sure not to swear or say anything bad about anyone. Good luck with that.

The Game Day Skate for Thursday, November 5th

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of winning your 27th championship. Habs are never gonna catch up now...

• Habs call up 2 forwards - Ryan White and Tom Pyatt. Fuck us if we knew what that means, though we're guessing Gio ain't doing so well after missing practice yesterday;
• Buffalo shuts out the Isles in a battle of hot teams. That kills us for some reason;
• Devils take advantage of the Ovie-less Caps;
• Iggy gets the OT winner as the Flames beat the Stars;
• Avs stay hot, take care of the Yotes, with the Denver arena half empty.

Not-so-big not-so-bad Bruins tonight. Not that that will help us.

Alright alright alright: Atlanta 5 - Habs 4

Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin' right here, all right. We got 4:11 Positrac outback, 750 double pumper, Edelbrock intake, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower. We're talkin' some fuckin' muscle ... huh? The game? Alright alright alright, so there was this game last night. It's all fuckin' games, man. All fuckin' games. Like this thing between me and the Jaroman, alright? Like I'm no fat whale, man, just like he's no Dodge Charger drivin', beer swillin', rodeo bustin', Garth Brooks lover like me and Gorges, you know? Man, I love Gorges. I love me them redheads more, but Gorges is cool. He can always get a joint when you need one. Say, man, you got a joint? It'd be a lot cooler if you did. Alright alright alright.

Anyway, Pleks, man, he's just doin' what Pleks wants to do man. He and the GIant Mexican Squid? They just keep livin', man. L-I-V-I-N. Nothin' the coach or Rich Peverley or that Russian dude in the other nets could do about that man. Those dudes are alright.Hey, man, did you see that girl behind the net with the really tight Price jersey on? Man, I totally missed that third goal because of that chick, man. Playin' in Montreal is awesome man, with all these friendly young CEGEP girls. That's what I love about these CEGEP girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age. Last year, when me and Higgins and the Tits brothers would fire up a joint and ... what? Game review? Alright alright alright my man. Man, you got more rules than Coach and Gainey. The older I get, the more rules they try to get me to follow. Stop smokin' joints before games. Stop sleepin' with CEGEP girls. Stop the puck. Man, I'm just tryin' to be Carey Price, you know?

Anyway, man, it's alright we lost, you know? 'Cause we're just out there to dog some chicks and smoke some joints, and drink some beer you know? Everyone's all "man, you're so laid-back Price, show some fire" you know? And I'm all "listen man, if Jaro wants to play, let the little dude play, you know?" But that's all right, we'll worry about that later. We need someone to be worryin' about that defence, my man. No Markov, no Rhino ... man, you remember when Rhino scored on his own net? Crazy, man. Coach Carbo was all "man, that ain't right" but you know what? In the end, all it did was cost us a game, man. Just a fuckin' game. Rhino, he's just gonna be the man who keeps on keepin' on, you know?

Game review? Man, you gotta slow down a little about this game review shit, man. It's gettin' tiresome. Alright alright alright where were we? No Markov, no Rhino, no Hal Gill, Carle and Bergeron givin' the puck up like a CEGEP girl on Crescent Street, you know? Listen man, you got a joint? It'd be a lot cooler if you did. I already asked you that? Alright alright alright.

So that game, man, it was some sort of game, you know? Like I saw at least three new Molson Zone girls, man, and they were alright alright alright. I love those Molson Zone girls, man. Anyway, we lost, man and let me tell you this, the older you get the more rules they're gonna try to get you to follow so whatever, man. We'll be better with everyone healthy and doin' their thing, man. I think we're playin' the Bruins next, man. That Lucic dude he's from BC too, alright alright alright. I bet he has a joint.

Aerosmith, 2 weeks. Don't forget.

The Morning Skate for Wednesday, November 4th

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of geeking out with Olivia Munn...

• Crap crap crap. Habs come back a bit in their 5-4 loss, but really need to learn to play defense. Your October player of the month TFS made a bunch of great saves, but also let in a weak one, maybe two. More later today, if one of us can stomach it;
• At least the Leafs lose too;
• As do the B's;
• Pens tie an NHL record with their 7th straight road win to stat the season;
• Nucks take care of the Rangers.

Last night's game put us in a really shitty mood. Look out world.

It's a Habs V. Thrashers Preview and Open Thread

Sometime in the near future, we will be Visited by aliens. Count on it. Or are they here already? Perhaps in the form of struggling Belarussian forwards? Will they be of peace? Do they have the cure for cancer? Will TFS ever win a game? You can find out all the answers tonight at 7:30 on RDS, or 8:00 on ABC. We will be Visited.

Take me to your leader - Pleks continues to be the Habs scoring leader, with 13 points (tied with Squid). Game in game out, he's been our best player. I hope I never get tired of writing that. For the Thrash, Rich Peverley also leads with 13 points and is riding a 7-game point streak. Your alien leader is Anna (pictured above), played by Brazilian hottie Morena Baccarin, who the Whedonites will remember as "companion" (high-class prostitute) Inara from Firefly. Your Earth-bound leader is FBI agent Erica Evans, played by Elizabeth Mitchell, Juliet from Lost. (Is Juliet dead? Can you survive a nuclear blast if said blast resets the past and / or future? Man I am geeking out in this preview.)

The real lizards - first off, I don't even know if these new Visitors are in fact lizards underneath, like their Visiting counterparts from the 1980's miniseries that this V is a remake / reinterpretation of. But roll with me here for a second. There is something wrong with 46DD (© L Dude). He's unhappy. The most recent theory is that he doesn't have anyone to talk Russian with on the team. Or is it really that he has no one to talk alien with? We're through the looking glass, people.

As for the evil ugliness on the new V, we really don't know who's skanky yet, but I vote for smarmy newscaster Chad Decker, played by Scott Wolf. I still haven't forgiven Bailey for his performance during the intervention.

This preview idea is starting to lose steam. You know what would help? Guinea pig eating!



Your 3-man resistance cells - at practice yesterday, GMS was together. Pleks had La Connection Française on his wings. That put 46DD on the 4th line again, with CHips and Stewie.

In the pressbox watching V - looks like Dagger is still out. BGL has back problems again. Can we just cut him to get some cap space? As we reported in TMS, Hal Gill was injured at practice yesterday. On the good news front, Rhino skated this morning (alone, before the team). Stubbs is tweeting that Carle is in fact playing for Gill, and that TFS is getting the start.

Post-game alien adult entertainment - the 9 Greatest Human-Alien sex scenes.

Try and keep your comments V spoiler-free, for those of us DVR'ing

The Game Day Skate for Tuesday, November 3rd

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of sending it back to NY for Game 6...

• Looks like Habs fans won't have Hal Gill to kick around tonight, injured his foot in practice yesterday. Mathieu Carle called up as a replacement;
• Flyers don't have Gagne or Brière, but still score 7 in a win over the Bolts;
  
• The Isles are hot. No joke!
• Good 'ol Judge Baum approves the sale of the Yotes to the NHL, and they celebrate by losing to the Kings in front of, like, 5000 people;
• Ovie is "week to week" with that upper-body boo-boo;
  
• Rumours have the Rangers shopping Chris Higgins.

Miss Scarlett, I do declare it's Atlanta tonight.

Karma's a mofo'ing bitch

No really, I don't think I could have been angrier Saturday night when the fucking fucktard fans started singing with 4 minutes left and a two-goal lead. The next time that happens, if you're at the game, go ahead and punch those fucking fucktards in the face. Tell 'em HF29 sent you. I'll get you bailed out, gratis.

I almost wish we would have lost the game, just to get the fans to never fucking do that again. Almost.

I actually do like the song though. Enjoy the original below, with the worst lip-synching you ever saw. Damn stoned hippies.


hockey vid via Puck Daddy

The Morning Skate for Monday, November 2nd

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of winning in your return "home"...

• Red alert! Ovie with an "upper body injury" suffered in the Caps' OT loss to the BJ's. No one's talking about what it is, or how long;
• B's lose again. Bruins schadenfreude is the new Leafs schadenfreude;
• Andrew Raycroft cools off the red-hot Avs with a shutout;
• BR is complaining about something this morning, we're really not sure what exactly. Something about the Richard Zednik trade. Seriously.
  

Earliest. TMS. Ever. The time change is really fucking with us.

The Boos on Halloween: Habs 5 - Leafs 4 (S.O.)

Bravo to this man last night for telling it like it is

This is going to be short and there may be more later on.

How in the name of Gui! do the Habs need to resort to a shootout when they're holding a 2-goal lead at home against the last place Leafs with less than 4 minutes left in the game.

This after our fans start karoaokying na na na na heh heh goodbye.

This after CBC's Hughson recalls how signature Jacques Martin team can just shut down the opponent when leading in the late stages of a game.

The best thing about this game is the fact that I missed it live to go to a Halloween party where I dressed in the lamest costume ever.

If you want me to post a picture of it, you need to give me reasons why.

A- Why I should post the pic.

B- Why the hell this game went to a shootout.

Komisarek got what he deserved and the scuffles with Max and Gui! suggest something may have been brewing beneath the surface in that locker room for some time. Otherwise, it was just business with the douche now being on the other bench.

This is Jaro's team, by the way. Tough for all TMS lovers. TMS can wait. The time is Jaro.