Tuesday, November 03, 2009

It's a Habs V. Thrashers Preview and Open Thread

Sometime in the near future, we will be Visited by aliens. Count on it. Or are they here already? Perhaps in the form of struggling Belarussian forwards? Will they be of peace? Do they have the cure for cancer? Will TFS ever win a game? You can find out all the answers tonight at 7:30 on RDS, or 8:00 on ABC. We will be Visited.

Take me to your leader - Pleks continues to be the Habs scoring leader, with 13 points (tied with Squid). Game in game out, he's been our best player. I hope I never get tired of writing that. For the Thrash, Rich Peverley also leads with 13 points and is riding a 7-game point streak. Your alien leader is Anna (pictured above), played by Brazilian hottie Morena Baccarin, who the Whedonites will remember as "companion" (high-class prostitute) Inara from Firefly. Your Earth-bound leader is FBI agent Erica Evans, played by Elizabeth Mitchell, Juliet from Lost. (Is Juliet dead? Can you survive a nuclear blast if said blast resets the past and / or future? Man I am geeking out in this preview.)

The real lizards - first off, I don't even know if these new Visitors are in fact lizards underneath, like their Visiting counterparts from the 1980's miniseries that this V is a remake / reinterpretation of. But roll with me here for a second. There is something wrong with 46DD (© L Dude). He's unhappy. The most recent theory is that he doesn't have anyone to talk Russian with on the team. Or is it really that he has no one to talk alien with? We're through the looking glass, people.

As for the evil ugliness on the new V, we really don't know who's skanky yet, but I vote for smarmy newscaster Chad Decker, played by Scott Wolf. I still haven't forgiven Bailey for his performance during the intervention.

This preview idea is starting to lose steam. You know what would help? Guinea pig eating!



Your 3-man resistance cells - at practice yesterday, GMS was together. Pleks had La Connection Française on his wings. That put 46DD on the 4th line again, with CHips and Stewie.

In the pressbox watching V - looks like Dagger is still out. BGL has back problems again. Can we just cut him to get some cap space? As we reported in TMS, Hal Gill was injured at practice yesterday. On the good news front, Rhino skated this morning (alone, before the team). Stubbs is tweeting that Carle is in fact playing for Gill, and that TFS is getting the start.

Post-game alien adult entertainment - the 9 Greatest Human-Alien sex scenes.

Try and keep your comments V spoiler-free, for those of us DVR'ing

127 comments:

Gino Tomac said...

Good post 29:

I read the 46DD article. A few paragraphs in Latendresse says, "Je veux assurer une présence physique devant le filet afin de prouver à l'entraîneur que je peux m'acquitter de la tâche. "

I think I read him saying the exact same thing every 3rd or 4th Habs related article.

WV: marcen....I don't know, it just sounds like a Quebecois swear word.

When the fuck is Gui! going to fucking listen to himself? I have 20 bucks (American dollars) on his post game soundbite sounding very similar.

Robbie said...

The post V anti-chambre show.

The Senator: Oui mais tu sais Burgy ci les Aliens aurais bouger une peu plus vite dans le zone offensive il aurais compléter la mission plus vite et les humaine aurait tue moins de eux.

BR: Caulisse de maudite anglais, si les Aliens avait était au ville de Québec il aurais vue un vrai équipe de guerre et ça aurait donner plus de motivation au Montrealais de ce battre plus forte et la guerre aurait durée plus longtemps et ça serais plus excitante.

Bergy: Mais wooh..wooh.. les gars, il faut donner le coach encore un chance de mettre en place son plan de guerre.

The Senator: Oui, moi je ne panic pas. Quand ça serait les Aliens 14 et les Canadien 6 je vais commencer a être inquiète.

The show ends with the talking heads studio being over run by pissed off english aliens and some members of the Russian mafia.

bea.habs.fan said...

awesomest pic ever.

you guys have something unique and precious in GG11.
you better give her whatever she asks for or she might peddle her talents to a more appreciative site

WV sasiddl-as in 46DD©Ldude is in the sasiddl to perform

kevincrumbs said...

Sex with aliens creeps me the fuck out.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@bea
Wanna be my agent? And can you send a similar email to DrGG and his unappreciative spawn? Thank you. As BubbyGG used to say when we'd gobble up those kreplach*, "you made my day".

*actually hate kreplach but it's a funnier word than meatballs

bea.habs.fan said...

@ GG11

a friend of mine represents canadian artists. I'm pretty sure there's a market somewhere for your talent.

we should blow some of your pics up and put them all over Montreal over the Je suis ... nous sommes canadiens posters

VW: gargant - as in GG11 you have a gargant(eous) talent that seems underappreciated by the FHF crew

GoldenGirl11 said...

@bea
Hook me up with the people who pay but I like it here at FHF. You never know when you might need a good pro bono lawyer. Thank you again.

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

i'm just going to go ahead and say that i've come to expect a certain amount of nudity in these previews and i'd like the record to state that i am sorely disappointed.

that being said, gg11 - wow - surpassed yourself once again.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Ggggggroin
I'll make it up to you on Thursday. Promise. And thanks.

L Dude said...

Let the record show that I really appreciate a woman with garganuous talents.

L Dude said...

If the Tit brothers are indeed reptile aliens, we need to work out a deal and send them to the desert for their own good. Who do you like on the NHL Ha Ha Ha I'm Gary Bettman And You're Not So Take A Flying Fuck Jim Balsillie I WIN I WIN I WIN Na na na na na na Coyotes? I like Doan. He could babysit his little cousin for us.

L Dude said...

Ooh, maybe we could get Taylor Pyatt so we still have a brother duo (you know, cuz it worked so well last time). Big T and Little T.

L Dude said...

So according to HIO, Carle is up "to fill in for the injured Hal Gill, who will miss several weeks."

Rejoice or FTC?

moeman said...

Calling Kostitsyn

In our FHF minds we have abilities you know
To telepath gameday messages (and GG11 pics!) through the vast bloggerdome
Please close your eyes, take some meth and concentrate
With every fucking thought you think
Upon this recitation we're about to sing:

Calling Kostitsyn of interplanetary CHraft.
Calling Kostitsyn of interplanetary, most extraordinai-re CHraft.

Calling 46DD Kostitsyn of interplanetary CHraft.
Calling Saggy Kostitsyn of interplanetary CHraft.
Calling Kostitsyn of interplanetary, most extraordinai-re CHraft.

You've only been observing our team
Now we'd like you to make fucking contact with it.

We are your fans!

Calling Kostitsyn of interplanetary CHraft.
Calling all Habs Fans but not the premature-ultra-ejoyculationaries.

We've been observing your skills
And maybe one night you'll actually use them!

We are your fans!

Calling Kostitsyn of interplanetary CHraft.
Calling Kostitsyn of interplanetary, très extraordinai-re CHraft.

Please come and play we beseeCH you.
- Only a hat-trick will teach us! -
Our team will survive without you,
But show an effort before we trade you.
Please introverted and quiet man.
Won't you give us some goals (OK, just one fucking goal)
To show sign that we've fucking reaCHed you?

With your skills you have the ability to play on the first line.
As Timmins' Round 1 Draft CHoice, we hoped you'd be fine.
Now open your eyes,
Now concentrate
Together - that's the FHF way
To send the messages:
We declare World Tits Day!

Calling Kostitsyn;
Calling Kostitsyn of interplanetary CHraft.
Calling Kostitsyn of interplanetary, most extraordinai-re CHraft.

Ahhh

Calling Kostitsyn;
Calling Kostitsyn;
Calling Kostitsyn of interplanetary CHraft.
Calling Kostitsyn of interplanetary, most extraordinai-re CHraft.

HabsFan29 said...

as usual, moeman works harder on the parody than i do on the preview. well done

im sitting in class til 730pm kids (thank god for wifi!). im trying to stay awake

moeman said...

Merci HF29, all in fun and today's preview is another front page classic.

Also, I too love to under-estimate our unique and precious and gargant(eous)ly talented GG11.

Is it me or are my comments are starting to sound like an SCTV talk show skit.?

moeman said...

One too many 'are's. Blame the Pinot Grigio.

Go Habs!

HabsFan29 said...

moeman i am now picturing you as Eugene Levy

moeman said...

heh, thanks my bro Yosh (Shmenge).

Hope the Habs blow up the Trashers, real good.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Well done. And thanks. Now I'll be speaking like Perini Sclerosa for the rest of the night.

moeman said...

@GG11, see ya dow and enjoy the game.

HabsFan29 said...

k im closing up in class, see y'all after the 1st probly. go pants

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Can you direct me to the hotel is running through my head. Favorite. Sketch. Ever.

kevincrumbs said...

w00t! RDS feed tonight for the first time this season. No opposing team homers and no CBC anti-Habs bias.

CFW FTW!

GoldenGirl11 said...

Price Molson Cup? For warming the bench? Can I get one for a fab dinner and planning a bar mitzvah?

moeman said...

GG11 gets the monthly FHF Cup for being under-estimated (is it me or (with all due respect to the fabuluscious GG), does that sound just a tad, bit, um nether-regionally-warmish).

moeman said...

@kc, no cbc/hnic is a boon, bonus, no tax money spent on Toronto garbage disposal.

kevincrumbs said...

I've stopped being surprised at delay of game penalties by this team.

Ian Vitro said...

Maybe Kostitsyn's unhappy because he's been sucking so badly. Just a thought.

Or maybe it's because Pleks keeps asking why he's playing like a little girl. I hope that's it.

moeman said...

46DD has da skillz, he needs to man up (his boobs).

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
It's just a hot flash. I'll be fine in a minute. And is it under estimated or under appreciated? Never under estate me.

chris nilan said...

so how many times this week has roman put it over the glass for a delay of game? gotta be like 4.

kevincrumbs said...

Carey!

moeman said...

@GG11, hope you are feeling fine. Also, who doesn't love the word under.

kevincrumbs said...

Carey again!

moeman said...

brunet calls TFS™ lucky on that big save. Um, benoit, Price had to laterally move fucking fast to get to be in such a luck spot to make that save.

I think I hear Olés. OhNos.

moeman said...

ack.

moeman said...

ack2!!

kevincrumbs said...

Fuck.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

Good job, Hamr - take the man who no longer has the puck.

Poor Carey, after all those great saves...

Anonymous said...

"Damn this game is in Canadian!" My husband.........wonder why I keep him around!

HabsFan29 said...

ok, looks like i missed, uh, everything

Number31 said...

Is it possible to pull the team in front of the goalie?

This reminds me of that chocolate milk ad with the basketball players...

moeman said...

Someone commented today that the first 21st century decade is almost over.

moeman said...

Here we go ...

HabsFan29 said...

@moeman - well, unless you want to play that whole "the decade ends with the year that ends with 0 card" (which I believe in btw)

on a side note, direct quote from Mom of HF29 - "i love moeman". she wanted to make sure I mentioned that in the comments

GG, just so you don't feel left out, she loves you too, and can't wait for Saturday

kevincrumbs said...

Fucking Pavelec.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@29
Tell my buddy she can ask Moe to be her date.

HabsFan29 said...

well, we're getting chances. that's something, i guess

HabsFan29 said...

Giant!

kevincrumbs said...

Gio! And 46DD was on the ice!

moeman said...

I agree in the end with an '0' too but still, where has time flown since the CH drafted Ron Hainsey (oh look, he's playing).

Merci Maman HF29. Je t'aimes aussi.

Gionta!

Moey said...

Well I guess the Thrshers' goalie is only half alien. I was starting to wonder.

Moey said...

Make that Thrashers.

moeman said...

Moey!!!!! is back (and tanned).

kevincrumbs said...

Everytime the crowd starts singing now, I just imagine LG77 yelling at everyone in her section.

moeman said...

No slight to Jaro 1.0 but CoaCH Martin better be paying close attention to TFS™'s interstellar play.

Moey said...

@moeman, the tan will do a disppearing act (much like our D) by the end of the week. They're giving me fits tonight.

moeman said...

Crap.

HabsFan29 said...

FUCK

moeman said...

Poor Pleks, victim of Bill 101.

HabsFan29 said...

this team does not give me confidence we can score 3 more goals tonight

moeman said...

@HF29, considering the ATL Gman, it, is, eesh.

At least we have the fucking Bs to look forward too (and they have a couple of fans that check in on us, so thats nice).

Gino Tomac said...

So I didn't buy the Center Ice package for the first time this season. is Price shitting the bed? is the team not showing up for him? WTF?

moeman said...

TFS™ has been weak on one goal and made at least 3 great saves and is steady despite the score.

Gino Tomac said...

I just found a free stream of the game...and it's in French. It' like a small piece of Quebec is here in Brooklyn with me.

http://www.justin.tv/nad_et_pic_4

HabsFan29 said...

i agree with moeman's assessment of TFS. and the team really ain't helping him much either

kevincrumbs said...

I can't believe that I live in a world in which I'm scared every time Rich Peverley touches the puck.

HabsFan29 said...

game saver, maybe

kevincrumbs said...

The Urologist owes Carey a nice steak dinner.

moeman said...

Bergeron is like a wind-up doll gone wild!

Moey said...

WTF kind of power play is this? Hectic.

Gino Tomac said...

Oh Bergeron you silly, silly bitch.

kevincrumbs said...

Why does Pavelec have to play out of his skin against us and then let in goals from a hundred feet away against other teams?

Squid! Seafood delight!

HabsFan29 said...

SQUID!

moeman said...

Squeewid!

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Gino
you wouldn't happen to be a psychiatrist would you? BrotherGG didn't renew his package and lives in Brooklyn. Just curious.

moeman said...

I miss the 1993 Kerry Fraser.

Gino Tomac said...

@GG11
Stop Projecting...

moeman said...

Habs won that period 2-1 and ATL is under in the SOGs. Go you fucking Habs!

Gino Tomac said...

Wow!
That was a sexy fucking goal!
I didn't realize that Brisebois signed with the Thrashers.

moeman said...

@ Gino T, GG11 has a projector?!

moeman said...

...inCHing towards 100 comments FHFers. I hope our FHFriend Van Hab doesn't have a conniption.

Number31 said...

This game makes my brain hurt!!!

Bergeron makes my brain hurt!!!

Gino Tomac said...

So I missed the first 38:30 of the game. But in the 90 seconds I did catch, here's my assessment.

Bergeron should soon be familiar with Panger's trunk. Carey stopped a breakaway and looked very fucking calm about the whole thing. And Squid just earned a very filthy lap dance.

Did I need to watch the first 38:30?

moeman said...

N31, your brain ain't worth Bergewrong. Let your synapse fearlessly fire with femme fury.

moeman said...

@ G Tomac, good assessment. Breezeron is trunk-worth, fully, completely (bonus points for the FHFers that get that lyrical reff).

Ronan said...

I thought Carle was supposed to be able to run a powerplay? I just don't get it - we bring up guys like Carle and Weber and then we don't give them a shot (figuratively and literally) on the PP despite that being their area of expertise.

moeman said...

Time for some Big Tits.

moeman said...

Slight edit;

Time for some Fucking Big Fucking Tits.

(Van Hab, you can deduct my previous comment from the total)

G I O N T A!

HabsFan29 said...

well at least we have one line that can score

kevincrumbs said...

Gio!

moeman said...

Bob Gainey's acquisition's scoring are gonna give bertréj an aneurism.

Où sont les gars de 'CHez nous?'

moeman said...

ack4.

HabsFan29 said...

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

moeman said...

Bs & Tiny wet da bed 2nite. Will they dry themselves off in time for da Habs?

Gino Tomac said...

Why does Price always look like he could have put a little more effort into the save before every goal?

kevincrumbs said...

@moeman: Bruins have been wetting the bed all season long. They have less points than we do, which is pathetic.

moeman said...

@kc, agreed and it is a weird early season and if math doesn't fail me and the disgusting leaf were to somehow win, we'd have, officially, more, official (non-OTL)losses than the disgusting leaf.

WV = facshi, as in a shorter form of fuck shit

moeman said...

PLEKS!!!!!!!!!

HabsFan29 said...

i'm happy PLEKS got in on the fun!

kevincrumbs said...

Secondary scoring! Pleks!

HabsFan29 said...

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME

moeman said...

ack5

kevincrumbs said...

GODDAMNIT! I was just going to post about how Cari the Fat Wale needs to step it up. Not his fault on that goal but we could sure use some out the world saves.

Can we really fault a defence missing three regulars?

Ian Vitro said...

@Gino: Thanks for the feed! +10

moeman said...

rds is starting to rip into Price (for 5 goals). The media will want some blood. Price? Timmins? Gainey?

Also, apart from Pleks' goal, how did the 2nd line do?

Its gonna be an up & down (which can be fun) season. Hang on FHFers.

kevincrumbs said...

Great, they'll probably toss Pleks to the box for the last part of the game now.

Number31 said...

If anyone blames this on Price they're out of their fucking minds. FIVE FUCKING HABS IN THE CORNER and Colby Douchebag was just dancing in without any problem. AGAIN.

I'm gonna go play D for the Habs. If these guys are NHL defenceman, then so can I!

matt - a shit team can't collapse, since they are already shit. said...

the Habs D is no better than that of the last place Single A midget team that I coach...

Gino Tomac said...

Cunt fucking cock.
When's the last time Price got a shutout?

please don't say game 7 vs Bruins 2 seasons ago.

Gino Tomac said...

Also,
The media keeps talking about Price's "raw talent." What the fuck are they talking about?

moeman said...

Ugly loss. Ugly.

HabsFan29 said...

CRAP

matt - ftc said...

if this is going to be the 6 D we have for awhile...we may as well start thinking abount next year with Tyler (or is it taylor?) Hall...

HabsFan29 said...

hey matt-astcc,staas is in da house!

about time you showed up.

that was just unpleasant. though i guess there are some good things to take. anyone? we came back maybe? anyone?

GoldenGirl11 said...

This is no way to start a bar mitzvah weekend!

5 goals? I smell the glue factory for Seabiscuit!

wv: froid

kevincrumbs said...

So fifteen games into our season and the following men have played as Dmen:

Belle
Carle
Gill
Gorges
Jaro 2.0
Mara
Markov
Rhino
Swiss Miss II
Urologist

And of those, only Markov and Gorges were everyday type of guys. Rhino played enough to be a regular and I think we saw Swiss Miss II for two games.

So, a bunch of guys who haven't played with each other, along with a bunch of guys you never thought would be playing with the big club and this is the shit that happens. I wholeheartedly blame the D and besides Pleks' goal, we need to take pressure off of Giant Mexican Squid.

Hope the lost point doesn't bite us in the ass in April.

moeman said...

Despite the demoralizing loss, always fun to be part of the fun in this fun place.

Also, fuck da Bruins!

HabsFan29 said...

can I watch V now?

GoldenGirl11 said...

@29
I swear I read that as "can I wash V now?". Enjoy.

matt - astcc, staas said...

hf29...there is something good to take away, but you have to think long term...a high draft pick is in the cards.

matt - astcc, staas said...

may be time to ship out the pair of B cups to bring in a D

orangeman said...

As bad as the D is, I seem to remember the Habs winning a few games with Halak in net.

dood said...

Hi, I'm a regular reader here, but I don't think I've posted before.

Anyways, I just wanted to say that

1. The Habs can't play D
2. Bergeron is a chihuahua on skates (why did we sign him again? the PP? how about contributing to 3 goals and costing us 10 billion?)
3. Brainfarts (Carle was supposed to be good on skates, right? right??)
4. I feel that every single time we have a defensive lapse, the puck ends up in our net. Price, make some gamebreaking saves, please?

And finally, we just got outscored by an Atlanta team without Kovalchuk. Haha!

...

Number31 said...

I found a shirt for the defence to wear tomorrow

d. said...

I'm just here to acknowledge moeman's tragically hip reference. "I found a place, it's dark and its rotted..."