Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Alright alright alright: Atlanta 5 - Habs 4

Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin' right here, all right. We got 4:11 Positrac outback, 750 double pumper, Edelbrock intake, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower. We're talkin' some fuckin' muscle ... huh? The game? Alright alright alright, so there was this game last night. It's all fuckin' games, man. All fuckin' games. Like this thing between me and the Jaroman, alright? Like I'm no fat whale, man, just like he's no Dodge Charger drivin', beer swillin', rodeo bustin', Garth Brooks lover like me and Gorges, you know? Man, I love Gorges. I love me them redheads more, but Gorges is cool. He can always get a joint when you need one. Say, man, you got a joint? It'd be a lot cooler if you did. Alright alright alright.

Anyway, Pleks, man, he's just doin' what Pleks wants to do man. He and the GIant Mexican Squid? They just keep livin', man. L-I-V-I-N. Nothin' the coach or Rich Peverley or that Russian dude in the other nets could do about that man. Those dudes are alright.Hey, man, did you see that girl behind the net with the really tight Price jersey on? Man, I totally missed that third goal because of that chick, man. Playin' in Montreal is awesome man, with all these friendly young CEGEP girls. That's what I love about these CEGEP girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age. Last year, when me and Higgins and the Tits brothers would fire up a joint and ... what? Game review? Alright alright alright my man. Man, you got more rules than Coach and Gainey. The older I get, the more rules they try to get me to follow. Stop smokin' joints before games. Stop sleepin' with CEGEP girls. Stop the puck. Man, I'm just tryin' to be Carey Price, you know?

Anyway, man, it's alright we lost, you know? 'Cause we're just out there to dog some chicks and smoke some joints, and drink some beer you know? Everyone's all "man, you're so laid-back Price, show some fire" you know? And I'm all "listen man, if Jaro wants to play, let the little dude play, you know?" But that's all right, we'll worry about that later. We need someone to be worryin' about that defence, my man. No Markov, no Rhino ... man, you remember when Rhino scored on his own net? Crazy, man. Coach Carbo was all "man, that ain't right" but you know what? In the end, all it did was cost us a game, man. Just a fuckin' game. Rhino, he's just gonna be the man who keeps on keepin' on, you know?

Game review? Man, you gotta slow down a little about this game review shit, man. It's gettin' tiresome. Alright alright alright where were we? No Markov, no Rhino, no Hal Gill, Carle and Bergeron givin' the puck up like a CEGEP girl on Crescent Street, you know? Listen man, you got a joint? It'd be a lot cooler if you did. I already asked you that? Alright alright alright.

So that game, man, it was some sort of game, you know? Like I saw at least three new Molson Zone girls, man, and they were alright alright alright. I love those Molson Zone girls, man. Anyway, we lost, man and let me tell you this, the older you get the more rules they're gonna try to get you to follow so whatever, man. We'll be better with everyone healthy and doin' their thing, man. I think we're playin' the Bruins next, man. That Lucic dude he's from BC too, alright alright alright. I bet he has a joint.

Aerosmith, 2 weeks. Don't forget.

18 comments:

Lukestar said...

HA! Instant classic.

You know, even when it was 3-1 I still felt strangely confident about winning this game. We were looking so dominant in their zone and generating so many chances...it's just this nagging "playing defense" thing that keeps setting us back.

Carey really did keep us in it in the early stages but he just can't catch a break. Not much you can do when your D/backcheckers are allowing them to pitch tents in the high slot and crease.

Panic Factor: 4

lawyergirl77 said...

Fucking brilliant, 10!! Been having a pretty shit week, so I needed the laugh...

lawyergirl77 said...

Oh, and GG - the photoshop is brilliant, as always!

HabsFan29 said...

Let's go smoke a joint on the 50 yard line!

GoldenGirl11 said...

I will rent the movie and laugh my ass off even more. I think this bar mitzvah stuff is like doing drugs. I don't actually remember doing the photo.

Ben Dugas said...

You know what I like about these game reviews? We keep losing but they keep getting better and better.
Alright, alright, alright.

moeman said...

Pyatt & White called up;

http://www.rds.ca/canadien/chroniques/285536.html

Hope they are lethal weapons as their combo'd name sounds like a buddy cop flic.

Gino Tomac said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Excellent fucking post!!!!
How long until Price is busted for playing bongos in the nude?

Again, Hats off to you HF10!

Moey said...

Fuckin' A man.

kevincrumbs said...

Bravo. If only Cari the Fat Wale could talk Jaro... man, that'd be epic.

I think it's a horrible sign when I have to figure out who the fuck "White" is.

kevincrumbs said...

I meant "could talk to Jaro". Maybe I need to layoff joints, too.

Number31 said...

Habs D were rollin' joints last night. Proof is in the play!

Like woaaaaaaaaaaah look at that guy skate duuuuuuude. Shit.

Why couldn't someone shoot a hard puck off MAB's foot instead of Hal Gill's...?

GoldenGirl11 said...

What does it mean when you wish that Hal Gill WASN'T the victim of a little time away from the ice. Oy.

On another note, guests are dropping like flies. Anyone interested in filling seats at a bar mitzvah so I don't have to redo the tables? Nothing says yum like kosher sushi. Honest.

Not Geoff Molson said...

Guy Lafleur - Scoring!

kevincrumbs said...

@GG11: If you want to drop $600 for a plane ticket to Montreal, I'm down. As far as I know, none of the injured guys are doing much. I'm sure Markov or Rhino would be down.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Kevin
Not a bad idea. I can even offer Bob a trade. Markov and Rhino eat, (minimally) drink and do a hora for the Mendelbaum twins, Uncle Moishe and Aunt Clara, although her constant cvetching may bring down the room. I'll even throw in a Chazan as Steifel has been bringing down the house lately with his version of Adom Olam to Thuderstruck and Shur is getting a little cold just sitting up there on the bima doing nothing.

Habscup25 said...

Hal Gill isn't really injured.....he just has a clause/bonus in his contract that he gets 2 weeks off after every goal he scores

Rufus said...

Top priority of the summer!