Thursday, April 01, 2010

Carey the Phat Whale Speaks! Canes 2 Habs 1


Great photo, hey? That's supposed to be me! "Carey The Phat Whale." Just like J calls me. I think I'll have that blown up and put over my bed at home! Now that would be cool!

The FHF dudes asked me to write about last night's game again. They're cool! (But did you hear about no more TMS?? What's up with that, 29?? Not cool.)
Plus Golden Girl 11 (what a great nickname! Blanche was my favorite.) did that there great photo of me! Carey the Phat Whale!! Haha!!! Take another look!

Okay, so I know it's good, but enough looking at the picture already, dude...

Anyway, about the game. Dudes, its not like the sky is falling. Those Thrashy Thrashers still have a couple games to make up to catch us. And so what ... wait a minute ... are you checking out the photoshopped picture again? Not cool, dude. I worked hard thinking about what I was going to write. Okay, mostly I just rolled one, but that toke concentration. So I'd appreciate you're undivided attention here.

So anyway, Sergie (Ed. note: Mr. Price insists that we explain he pronounces it "Surge-ee") got hurt in the second. Just like big bro, hey? I bet he followed Andy around allot as a kid. Hope he's...

Dude, I totally caught you again. I know the picture is great and everything, but really, it's about me here. Carey the Phat Whale.

Anyways, since I can tell your attention span is short today, I'll get right to it: I was awesome, but the guys wearing the real skates in front of me couldn't score a freakin' goal. The Tornadoes (who, by the way, used to have a WAY cooler team nickname) scored a couple of fluky goals and I got screwed out of another dubya. Oh, and Cam Ward is overrated.

Okay, now you can totally stare at that photo instead of going back to work now. Or yo can check this out. Dudes, that's an AWESOME song. And so - what's the word - apropos?

Whoa, my head is spinning! Whatta great word! Laterrr! Dudes && Dudettes!!

14 comments:

HabsFan29 said...

"that toke concentration" is a phrase i plan to use regularly now. well done Panger and GG

last night's game was an April Fool's joke, right?

Anonymous said...

Ostie de calice de tabarnak de st-ciboire!!!!!!!!!!!!

TABARNAK!!!!!!! Can anyone fucking score a goal against the fucking Canes to save their life ostie de calice!!!!!! Is is that hard when you're making 6 fucking millions a year to fucking sit your ass in the slot and fucking put the puck in the net Tabarnak??????? If the Habs don't make the playoffs I fucking join the Scientolgy motherfuckers...at least something to believe in Tabarnak!!!!!! If they don't crush the Flyers I fucking take car of Spacek's second chin's liposuccion myself ostie de calice!!!! Outshot 17-5 in the third in a must-win game to make the playoffs....how is that even possible to imagine? I'm fucking losing it ostie de calice de tabarnak!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry but Goddamm it it has to come out...I'll grab a beer right now. thanks for helping me getting it out.
Cheers
Oliver

GoldenGirl11 said...

In the month of March Habs went 8-4-2. That's a winning rate of 71.4%, no different than the entire season. In the words of our forefathers, Ma nishtana and pass the brisket.

Habsfan10 said...

No wonder the Phat Whale's glove hand sucks. It's just a fucking flipper.

b said...

I just read the recent scoring stats on RueFrontenac. First off- full disclosure- I am a sports socialist. I think the best teams let everybody play. Like Scotty Bowman's teams. Rearranging the names by production we get
Scoring Drought Leaders

MIchael Cammalleri- NO POINTS IN LAST FOUR GAMES

Maxim Lapierre NO POINTS IN SIX GAMES
Sergei Kotstitsyn NO POINTS IN SIX GAMES
Dominic Moore- NO POINTS IN SIX GAMES

Mathieu Darche-NO POINTS IN LAST SEVEN GAMES PLAYED

Scott Gomez - NO POINTS IN LAST NINE GAMES
Benoit Pouliot- NO POINTS IN LAST NINE GAMES

Andrei Kotsitsyn- THREE GOALS IN LAST FOURTEEN GAMES

Travis Moen- ONE GOAL IN THE LAST 41 GAMES

and the Coach rewards production with ice time as follows

Cammallleri 21:48
Lapierre 10:49
SK 3:08

Darche 9:10

Gomez 22:03
AK 18:22

Moen 12:21


So Count Chocula is not a socialist, but he is trying to help out the plutocrats by getting them more ice time opportunities to justify their salaries. [Actually he is tiring them out so they don't have enough jump to succeed.] I think it was Bob Hartley who correctly noted that this time is uni-dimensional. Everybody drinks the Kook Aid. No body in the high slot. No movement on the power play. Pressure at the offensive blue line where a slip up either means an odd man rush or a break away. I sincerely want to be watching hockey in the playoffs, but if the Habs are not there, I want this mess gone. Give me a bunch of pure laine plumbers and a couple of guys from Northern Ontario or the Prairies or Northern New York or Vermont. If we have to suffer mediocrity, gives us people we can identify with. Did Carbo's teams ever have a scoring drought this bad for this long? Were they statistically any worse? At least they were fun to watch.

Boob Gainey said...

@b

Habs I/O ----->

moeman said...

WV = phoot, as in the sound that a phat phlipper makes is phloot

Boo that you fucking Bell Centre assholes.

Howard said...

Carey you is one PHat whale! Nice bling! and that is one pimpin' hat dude! Have a PHatty on me!

moeman said...

Has ray ferraroar beaten the shit out of Max Laps yet?

Number31 said...

Well watching Boucher tend the net tonight, if these guys don't float a few past him early tomorrow, then they really do fucking suck. Unless of course the Flyers use their AHL dude then the Habs will proceed to give him his first NHL win. We're so kind!

Duuuuuude that's one sweet hat.

Number31 said...

Hey look. Back in 7th. No hands, ma!

orangeman said...

Cheers for everyone else around the Habs losing!

Jeers for the maple leafs. Just because I hate them.

wv: ingst= "intelligent angst", like what I'm having with the Habs.

b said...

Ingst, I like it. Needs to be added to the vocabulary.

B B said...

I see the Flyers, I hear Gino Vannelli, and I quote my father, "get a hair cut"