Thursday, July 02, 2009

The Morning Skate tries to catch his breath for Thursday, July 2

Whew. That was some kind of day yesterday wasn't it? With the Als winning their opener? We kid. Frenzy indeed. Bob spends like a drunken sailor to create the new #1 line of midgets pictured above. While we sat there mouth agape, deciding whether the signing of Hal Gill deserved its own post, Panger was working like a maniac trying to keep up. Well done Panger. Let's try to recap the Habs and ex-Habs from the previous 24 hours:

Welcome: Camalleri, Gomez, Gionta, Gill, Spacek.
Goodbye and thanks for your service: Bégin to B's
Fuck off and die: Komisarek to Leafs
In limbo but we're not optimistic: Kovy, Lang
In limbo but really probably no chance we'll see them: Koivu, Tangy, Scneider, Breezer (please, please)

The rest of the league was pretty busy too, most notably Rangers signing Gaborik's groin to a huge deal, Hossa going to Chicago and Havlat going to the Wild. But the day will always be remembered around these parts for Bob's giant fuck you to everyone who says he never does anything. Happy now?


Anonymous said...

I'll be happy when kovy is no longer in the mix.

Boob Gainey said...

In the playoffs only four players showed up: Koivu, Kovy, Higgins, and Komi.

Hard to get excited about this team.

Tom said...


That's not fair. Ryder showed up as well.

L Dude said...

Well, at least our 3 new forwards should fit in. They all come from teams that also lost in the first round of the playoffs this year. At least they won 2 or 3 games though.

Robbie said...

No he never fucking does anything your right guys and when he does (lose his fucking mind)he still finds a way to fuck it up...does anyone out there really believe that anything was done to ensure a legitimate run at the CUP...I didn't think so. (I do give him an A for action though) Didn't i hear somewhere (basically everywhere) about needing more strength and size up front..blah..blah.. blah..yeah BG really covered that off well. On second note notice how none of those players acquired has a name ending in anything remotely french..huuummmmm... wait i kinda like that. It also fucking occurred to me as i watched it play out that it started to look allot like the Senators with big salaries, names and no results..hey who is coaching the Canadiens this year..oh wait yeah...i get it.

Boob Gainey said...

Wait until Rejean Tremblay adds up the number of French players on the team.

orangeman said...

These three players are all great, no qualms with them individually or the contracts. But we all know this team needs size and toughness. But Gionta and Gomez together again might make me shut up.

Sad to see Koivu (probably) go but it's likely for the best. I wish him the best of luck anywhere he goes, but for the love of jeebus please let that place not be Boston or Toronto. Go to Minnie and play with your bro! I'd love to see that.

I don't think Tanguay had a fair chance here. I'd like to see him stay. I also wanted Bowmeister here, so obviously Bob doesn't give a shit what I think.

If Pleks and the Tits can recover from last year and TFS can just be consistant (not even superhuman) then this year might be interesting.

Cornelius Hardenbergh said...

Not enough Bruins hate in this post. What happened, guys?

eyebleaf said...

Have I ever told you guys how much I love Komisarek?


L Dude said...

The Bruins suck and are full of fucktards! How's that? Congrats on resigning Bitz....I guess.

How about The Conga Line for our new line? I don't know why. Sounds Spanish/Mexican/Italian/Jewish. Probably actually Caribbean or African. But whatever.

Habsfan10 said...

@ eyebeleaf:

You'll love him until we start posting youtubes of Lucic beating his ass ... repeatedly.

@ Cornelius:

We're a little busy digesting Bob's drunken sailor spending right now, but we'll have plenty of hate for you fuckers when the time comes. Enjoy Begin. He's awesome when he isn't broken.

Cornelius Hardenbergh said...

Awwww, L Dude and HF10. You still care! Thanks, guys, it means a lot.

And I fully support youtubes of Komisarek getting his ass beaten by Lucic.

p.s. if Bob Gainey was my GM, I would be at the arena, gnashing my teeth. Or drinking my sorrows away.

HabsFan29 said...

multiple Twitter feeds have the Habs pulling their Kovy offer off the table

moeman said...

So who'll be our Captain?

HabsFan29 said...

jebus still the favourite

but really, Hamr

Habsfan10 said...

Markov? Mad Max? Metropolit? Greek Lightning (if he returns?).

Hamr would be a non-contraversial enough choice, for now.

Panger's boy Chips making a Jonathan Toews like leadership impression in camp? CHIPS!!!

Anonymous said...

Or, as I heard somewhere in HI/O, give no one the C until a leader pops up in the locker room?

Plus, it would be a nice gesture with Koivu leaving.

moeman said...

Yeah the Habs could wait. I'd offer it to Markov but I'm not sure he's the kind of guy that wants the added pressure. I could be wrong. Otherwise I'd bring up P.K., slap on the CH 'C' and have him rip Doucharek a new one via the media.

Anonymous said...

Not to mention, having a guy who doesn't talk be responsible for talking to media/referees is kind of odd.

Matt D said...

Imagine Rejean Tremblay's reaction if Markov got the C: the guy doesn't even speak English.

WV: Ruggirat. I suggest it as the name for our new 1st line: the rug-rat line. Or the ankle-biter line. Smurf line also works.

Tom said...

I say do it like the old days. Have the players vote in a closed-door meeting. Most votes get to wear the C.

Sonia said...

@Tom - they'd have to introduce themselves to each other first.

kevincrumbs said...

I don't understand how Bob can get any blame for not signing Bouwmeester. Yeah, I'm sure the guy loved Jacques Martin so much he would've signed for us. Sam Pollock could be our GM again and Bouwmeester wouldn't sign here.

ik said...

the seafood line (they're all shrimps) .. me likey

still hoping for kovy and lang but it's not looking good.

as for the C.. I like Laps!

L Dude said...

Bah WORK! I'm going to try to spit out some nicknames rather than work the next 20 minutes.

Gionta - The Little Giant

Gomez - Gomer (he's American) - can also be pronounced Gomé

Cammallari - Squid the Kid. He's OUR Crosby. Yay.

Hal Gill - Tree (Francophones and Newfs may wonder why we've named him Three though)

Jaro Spacek - Already baptized Jaro 2.0 - Just 2.0 will probably suffice in future posts.

Araev16 said...

Tree is an OK nickname for Hal Gill. But we always used to refer to him as, 215lb Bag O' Shit on Skates or Road Cone.

kevincrumbs said...

Squid is a great nickname. Thanks to Anonymous for suggesting it yesterday.

In regards to the captaincy, have the Habs ever gone with 3 As and no C? Just doesn't seem like a very CH type thing to do. I'd love to see Lapierre be captain in a couple of years but not now.

Hamr as a captain seems so uninspired. I vote for Youppi.

Anonymous said...

Gill = Pylon?

Qless said...

Why not Gomez for captain? He's our highhest paid and signed for eternity... Is see that he had an 'A' with the Rangers at some point.

L Dude said...

My bad. Didn't see the Squid comments yesterday. Props to Anonymous. Then again, fuck that. If you're too lazy to register a name, I'll take the credit.

Bring in Subban and give him the 'C'.

Habsfan10 said...

Motherfucking resign Koivu and leave the C where it fucking belongs, I say. Shove fucking ZombiePleks off a cliff and voila, 2nd line centre for the Big Tits and Pacioretty. Done.

Sonia said...

@kevincrumbs - After Damphousse was traded at the deadline the Habs didn't name a new Captain until a couple of months into the following season, when the players chose Saku. They had 3 A's until then. Also, when Saku was out with cancer they also has 3 A's & no C.

@HF10 - You took the words right out of my keyboard!

Boob Gainey said...

I agree too.

Koivu could be the 2nd line centre.

Come on Bob. Let's piss off Rejean Tremblay.

Ian Vitro said...

+1 for Squid the Kid.

I call that new line "The Blue Line" as they are indeed all smurfs. I was going to write "fucking smurfs," but I have no proof that they fuck smurfs. I think they're anatomically compatible though.

+1 for HF10 - we need a captain, and there can be only one... anyone else we have right now would be a sham. And fuck TurtlePleks.

$20 says 2.0 ends up with the other nickname suggested - Sissy Spacek...

Moey said...

What Habsfan10 said, but I'll be there when you push Blechanec off the cliff, if he tries to climb back up I'll step on his hands. For fuck sakes, how can Bob let Saku go and keep him instead? FUCK.

Sonia said...

Well, if LittleZombieGirlPlex doesn't get traded, I think we've found a new occupant for Panger's trunk.

gillis said...

So much for big strong centre's.

Anonymous said...

Nothing wrong with just 'strong centre', imo. Datsyuk and Zetterberg get by.

Number31 said...

Gill's nickname on Pensblog was USS Hal Gill no? I've stuck to calling him that anyway. He's slow/big enough.

As seen on Twitter:
Entendu à CKAC : (Subban) What's up with Komisarek? (Filosa) He's gone... (Subban) Percect! I'm coming!

Subban = love

And I'd give Chips the C if Bob could just make him a winger on Metro's' line and not have to worry about faceoff percentages... He's been a C all his life, why stop now? Junior C, Team Canada C, Bulldogs C... Previous captains include Gorges, Lapierre, I think Gionta was a C somewhere but I can see him getting an A quickly. I'd toss Markov an A too.

L Dude said...

For a laugh, here are Eklunds predictions from the morning of July 1st:

..Quick Predictions for Today....

* There will be less than 15 signings on the first day due to cap restrictions, but there will be several trade rumors and at least 3 trades that make signings happen...

* Beauchemin to either Montreal or Tampa

* Ohlund to LA, NJ, or Anaheim (or maybe a real surprise)

* Saku Koivu to Anaheim

* Knuble will re-sign with Philly

* Hossa will be a domino after Heatley decides if he wants to go to Edmonton or NY

* Martin Biron will sign with Avalanche or Oilers

* Cammalleri will sign with Buffalo, Nashville or Toronto

* The Sedins will sign in Montreal

* Komisarek will sign in NJ or the New York Islanders, but don't rule out a return to the Habs.

* The Hawks will attempt to move Huet and bring back Bulin

* Havlat will not be signed today, but will likely end up back in Chicago

* The Rangers will attempt to spend their money. Although I dont see it happening, expect Vinny rumors if Heatley goes to Edmonton.

* The Thrashers will make a few really solid signings, that no one will expect.

* The Wild will get in on Hossa and make another play for Heatley (and possibly Vinny)

* The Islanders will make a play for a major player as well. if not Komisarek, maybe Ohlund

* Kaberle to Boston for Kessel will be revisited.

Anonymous said...

My god, his powers of presences are amazing. It's like he guessed all the correct moves, then reversed them!n

Anonymous said...

Prescience. Spelling failure.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

Ah, poor Eklund... well, more like incredibly wealthy for no good reason Eklund, but you know.

Atlanta may not suck this year, I guess they're really desperate to keep Kovalchuk. I'm thinking they may even sneak into the playoffs - now let's see if anyone shows up to watch. And wow did they rip off Burke on the Kubina trade - I like it. Don fucking Waddell out-GMed Mr. Arrogance himself.

Added bonus - Komo not only plays Lucic 6 times a year, but Bégin as well. Bégin cried when he left Montreal and would've given anything to stay here, so I think he may be pretty pissed that golden boy Komo would leave for the Leafs for a few thousand dollars more. It's gonna be a loooong year for Money Whore Mike.

Captain? Wait a few months and see who takes command. And if no one does, give it to O'Byrne just for shits and giggles. Release a press statement saying O'Byrne stole the C and sewed it onto his jersey himself.

Pleky will recover, he now has a coach who actually knows what the fuck to tell him (others too - SK74 and O'Byrne come to mind).