Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Tweet this, bitCHes

TMS is now 140 characters or less: Die Bs Die, Fuck Southern Ontario, Giant tweets. #we'refuckinglazy

32 comments:

Orangeman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Orangeman said...

My favourite kind of Quebec. An Orange Quebec. And the Greens got a seat, too. Besides this whole terrible ego-centric PM who will run our country into the ground for the next 5 years and it'll take us at least a decade to dig ourselves out of it, like the US is finding out after Bush, today is a good day!

Duceppe just got Cock Bloc-ed. Eat it, you seperatist scum!

(I accidentally deleted my first post. I'm blinded by the Orange).

alan said...

@Orange, grow up and quit feeding the machine. Harper isn't that bad and neither was Bush. Nice to see you cheer for the Habs just like you cheer for politics pissing and moaning the entire time.

Steve said...

I got a message from the secrect police this morning.

It said:

Stop streaming video, especially disgusting porn like Tru Blood.

Stop thinking about Pot or the thought police will lock you up.

Stop looking for meaningful work, we need you to dig tar in Alberta.

Stop impersonating dear leader on the FHF.

Oh Shit, the day fun died.

dwgs said...

@alan - Bush wasn't that bad? You lost all credibility right there.

Habsfan10 said...

Whoa whoa whoa there, TMS. I'm in fucking Southern Ontario, and my riding just went Orange dammit! And you buggers still elected 4 more separatists than we ever have.

Fuck Southern Ontario indeed. We're your bloody meal ticket and don't you forget it.

[Removes angry COTU hat].

Kmaxx said...

Well Done Steve! Anyone got any ideas about what to get Mr. Dryden working on next?

Steve said...

@Kmaxx, my carreer in politics is over. But I think Mr Dryden used to play for a famous hockey team short of a few brains, hearts, legs, etc.

Dryden - Roy Team Canada

Mr. natural said...

STOP IT!

Everyone walking by my office wants to come in and see what I'm laughing at.....and I'm sure Steve's thought police are behind everything.

What a great day if you happen to be orangeman.

Ha ha ha ha Cock Bloc hahahaha

Chester said...

Wow
Politics brings out almost more passion than hockey!
Am I on the right site ...

Howard said...

Dryden/Muller to replace Goat/Chokula c'mon Geoff just do it!

Chester said...

@ Alan
You didn't write that Bush wasn't that bad ... you didn't really write that ?? You made a mistake right ?? Like you meant to say that Bush was a no mind war mongering rich boy party fuck ... that's what you meant ... right?

Steve said...

I can not identify who, because now every means of communication is filtered through the Tea Party Computer buried underground in Alexandria Virgina.

But I would love to Stab someone in the cock, a cock he does not need because his carpet munching wife does not use it.

See it is easy to make a comment and avoid keywords, although, I may have fucked up because Jason Kenney, John Baird, Christopher Alexander and Barry Trost have flagged anything with cock.

Steve said...

Fearless Prediction

Les Habs 2012 look just like Les Habs 2011, Mexicant and everything. Their year is 2013.

Alan said...

@chester, you have a john stewart poster in your room don't you? Maybe lets not believe everything we read on the internet and hipster boards. Not saying Bush was good or great just saying he wasn't as bad as people make him out to be. This coming from someone in America not someone just reading about it through lefty news publications.

Steve said...

@Alan, you want to know about Bush, the real Bush, watch Fair Game. He destroyed your country, thats all.

Steve said...

Player Actual salary Goals Amount per goal
1. Scott Gomez MTL $8,000,000 7 goals $1,142,857
2. Matt Stajan CGY $4,500,000 6 goals $750,000
3. Alexi Ponikarovsky LA $3,200,000 5 goals $640,000
4. Jean-Pierre Dumont NAS $4,000,000 10 goals $400,000
5. Vincent Lecavalier TB $10,000,000 25 goals $400,000
6. Samuel Pahlsson CBJ $2,650,000 7 goals $378,571
7. Brian Rolston NJ $5,000,000 14 goals $357,142
8. Pierre-Marc Bouchard MIN $4,250,000 12 goals $354,167
9. Tim Connolly BUF $4,500,000 13 goals $346,153
10. Joe Thornton SJ $7,200,000 21 goals $342,857
11. Marian Gaborik NYR $7,500,000 22 goals $340,909
12. Jason Spezza OTT $7,000,000 21 goals $333,333
13. Nicklas Backstrom WAS $6,000,000 18 goals $333,333
14. Michal Handzus LA $4,000,000 12 goals $333,333
15. Henrik Sedin VAN $6,100,000 19 goals $321,063
16. Wojtek Wolski NYR/PHX $3,800,000 12 goals $316,666
17. Alexei Kovalev PIT/OTT $5,000,000 16 goals $312,500
18. Jamie Langenbrunner NJ/DAL $2,800,000 9 goals $311,111
19. Simon Gagne TB $5,250,000 17 goals $308,824
20. Paul Stastny COL $6,600,000 22 goals $300,000

Stolen goods

Steve said...

Consider Tits at $162,000 a goal, I would keep him.

HabsFan29 said...

meh, i spent $1,142,857 on meth just last week alone. Mexican't is a steal!

moeman said...

meh, i spent $1,142,857 on Wendy Mesley lookalike hookers just last night alone. The election was a steal.

Steve said...

@moeman an anchorwomen fetish is a healthy interest in the news in my opinion. Rupert Murdoch was not the first to take this path but if you watch FOX news, you can come to understand why they have ratings inversely proportional to information.

Why do men, armature and even master swordsmen like chicks with brains. Its all DNA, when you go a courting there are many chicks with the right proportions, but knowing somewhere deep inside your seed is valuable, you want to deposit it in a place that like any risky investment might grow up to have great potential. The Greeks worshiped the Oracle, and we Sheeple worship the anchorperson. Personally I would deny them my sword, they are all sell outs and I am not going to give them any undeserved satisfaction. Now there are exceptions to this doctirne, and WM is not there (for me) cause I did not smell her like you did, for sure that could sway me.
Now you want to know who is on my list of well shaped talking heads.
It all started and ended with Barbara Frum.

moeman said...

Dawna Friesen.

Steve said...

@Moeman, a women I would not even have to smell

Steve said...

Although I did not see it I understand she fired a couple of mortars into the Harpo toupee.

Steve said...

Please exususe me while I watch SGU as a free fucking man without breaking a single law, I expect that will change big time, gotta fill those prisons, although I am looking forward to my time, as long as I have toilet paper and blood I can write a great novel like Alexander Solzhenitsyn, and maybe I will be a hero to billions of Chinese some day.

Number31 said...

Dryden should go take over the NHL. We got rid of the separatists (gotta work on the provincial level now), now get rid of the NHL garden gnome!

the Maritimer said...

@Number31, Ken would be a great NHL president and Gainey would make a great deputy. Maybe then the Montreal Canadiens would not get fucked over so much.

Arazi13 said...

a little side bar here....

if you guys are looking for a nickname for Guy Boucher.. you need to call him Le Chiffre... or something like that.... he looks exactly like the villain from Casino Royale.

Orangeman said...

@alan: you don't need to live in the burning house to know it's on fire. Worse economic disaster since the Great Depression. Two unwinnable wars. Biggest terrorist attack on American soil. Complete loss of respect and leadership on the international scene. Comparing Bush to Hitler is stupid. But he destroyed your once great nation. Time to admit it and move on.

Anyway, I knew I shouldn`t bring up politics. I don`t hate Con voters. I save my hate for Bloc voters.

Number31 said...

Every official named "Koharski" should be banned from all levels of hockey. Totally thought Ryan White was going to pile a bunch of hockey sticks at center ice, make a fire and roast him for dinner for allowing the Moose to score with the end-of-period green light on AND COUNTING IT and then not wanting to signal his own goal with the red light blaring in his face late in the 3rd. Then I remembered no one has wood sticks to start a fire with...

AHL seriously needs video replay. They got things like suspensions for dangerous plays right, yet fail in something so simple. Even the Q has video replay. All it takes is for a camera over the net.

Number31 said...

And yes, this Koharski is related to the Doughnut.

eclaireur said...

An interesting piece on Rue Frontenac on the salary cap and the low production numbers. Guess what guys? The system sucks! It robs creative players of their creativity. None of those guys have ever produced that badly before.