Sunday, November 04, 2007

The Sky is Falling: Three Cheap Goals Doom Listless Habs


The Worst Possible Fucking Thing That Could Happen, Happened. Fuck.

The Sky is Falling
- No Goddamn kidding the sky is falling. Two days after their best performance in years, the rested Habs watch the slower, less talented, played-in -Jersey-last-night Leafs win 70% of the faceoffs, spend roughly 52 of 60 minutes in possession of the puck, and basically strangle the life out of the game by midway through the second. Fuck. The Leafs scored three cheap goals (deflection, bank shot off El Dandy's skate from behind net, deflection from shot that wouldn't have broken a pane of glass), the Habs fired 34 shots at Toskala, but he decided to play like he's a number one goalie tonight, Higgins remains snakebitten in front of goal, Ryder is still absolutely useless, Carbo screwed with the lines YET AGAIN, they still can't score 5 on 5, Huet looked terrible on two of three goals (we'll give him a pass on the El Dandy skate bank shot, although he probably could have had it) and still can't beat Toronto, and it was the LEAFS, dammit. Anyone but the Leafs. Damn mouthbreathers are planning their bloody parade now.

Sadly, the Leafs may have shown every other team in the league the blueprint for beating this Habs team: Forecheck heavy, shove around the smaller defenders, cycle it down low and stay out of the box. When the Habs could gain possession in the offensive zone, their speed looked like it would give the Leafs fits, but Toronto was strong on the boards, limited Montreal's chances, and reduced them to hoping for miracles off the rush. Montreal never got a chance to use their wheels and skills to full advantage. I wonder, after yet another flat performance in a Montreal-Toronto game, whether the Leafs are more fired up to play Montreal than the Habs are to play Toronto. The Leafs and their fans have had 40 years of sand kicked in their faces, and since they returned to the East, they've had a very good record against Les Canadiens. Frustration breeds hatred, and the Leafs and their fans are plenty frustrated.

Plan the parade - Down University, left on Queen over to Yonge, past the Eaton Centre ... oh, you mean Montreal's parade? All three goals were terrible, but Huet made some solid stops, including one brilliant glove save. Breezer only had one minor Breezer moment, and it didn't result in a Leafs goal. "The Much Maligned" Josh Gorges had a second straight solid game, and Hamr earned his keep again. Higgins and Koivu were flying early, and sooner or later Higgins has to have some of these shots go in, right? Gui! Gui! Gui! was fired up tonight and is starting to cause havoc on a line with Kovy and Pleks. Guy Bertrand kept his idiot cakehole (or "trou de gateau", if he insists on service in French) shut. I live in the Beaches section of Toronto, so I didn't hear any car horns honking as idiot Leaf fans celebrated downtown.

Chez Paree Bound? - Uh, no. There are probably some guys who would be welcome on any other night, but tonight the Habs lost to the fucking Leafs. Padlocked until further notice, it is.

0 Lap Dances out of 10. - See above. I award the Habs no points, and may God have mercy on their souls. They lost to the fucking Leafs for the second time already this year.

Next Evil Evil Foe: The Sabres come to town on Monday night. Could be a fun, run-gun type game, but lets hope Les Sabres stay in their early-season funk for a few more days.

12 comments:

HabsFan29 said...

Man the use of the word "fuck" on this blog has taken a real upturn in the last 18 hours.

that TO parade route line made me do a spit take, well done 10

i am so frustrated i have not turned on TSN, RDS, or SportsNet since last night unless it was NFL programming. I cant take it, and I still can't talk about this game rationally

Anonymous said...

The worst is yet to come; logging into email on Monday will be unbearable. It hurts to lose to loosers...

I am trying to take the high road and put myself in the shoes of a Leafs fan. Let's face it, we have pissed in their cornflakes for at least 40 years or more. Given they have had our number of late, I'd be a jackass too.

They know they lucked out last night - but they beat the Habs. What else has this organization had to celebrate in 40 years?

Matt D said...

Well, Tie Domi played 1000 games. That was worth celebrating.

Anonymous said...

that says it all....

fezworth said...

I lost $10 yestesrday.. but that's not important. The guy who is getting my $10 is going to be impossible tomorrow.

Topham said...

Forecheck heavy, shove around the smaller defenders, cycle it down low and stay out of the box.

Isn't that the blueprint for beating every team? Maybe the Habs could use it.

Habsfan10 said...

The Habs don't have the size or strength to play that game. And, as 7 wins so far will attest, their way of playing is pretty effective sometimes. Teams like Ottawa and Detroit are pretty effective too, and I don't see them trotting out any Legion of Doom-esque giants on a regular shift.

PPP said...

The parade route line almost made me choke on my morning muffin.

However, the parade route doesn't get dusted off when the Leafs beat a team that they haven't owned since the beginning of the decade.

Ashley said...

I found it to be an entertaining game to watch (Habs/Leafs games always are), but I was pissed when the Leafers won. Ugh. And then the Pens lost to the Isles on Al Arbour Day and Noel came and beat the shit out of Nova Scotia. Double ugh. Crappy weekend all around.

Things can only get better, eh?

Prolly not...

El Oso said...

Leafs Rule!!!

I drunk-dialed for the NHL package on Saturday night (I live in the US), but damn Time-Warner couldn't get it to me in time for HNIC.

PPP said...

CBC streams games online so if you have a Canadian IP or use a proxy server you can watch them on your computer without having to give Time-Warner a rapidly-devaluing dime.

Habsfan10 said...

Now el oso, I KNOW you didn't mean to say "Leafs Rule", just like I don't mean to say "Oilers Suck".

Sorry about the Time-Warner thing. Move back to Canada, where the hockey is free (unless you have Expressvu in Ontario and want to watch the Habs on RDS.)