Friday, November 16, 2007

Things Are Even Worse in Dallas than We Thought

In light of the Brett Hull being named most bizarre GM in the history of the league news this week, yours truly was perusing the Dallas Stars team pages. What I discovered may shock you. It may frighten you. It may lead you to wet your pants. Or soil them. Or have a heart attack and die. I really don't know how you'll react, all I know is I can't sleep at night now. The reason? Mike Ribeiro is the leading scorer for the Stars.

18 points in 15 games played (he missed 3 games with wussiness). He even leads the team in +/- with a +8 rating. He's actually tied with Morrow (even though Morrow played all 18 games), but ahead of such names as Lehtinen, Modano, Zubov, and Jokinen. You know, real hockey players.

I can't live in a world where Mickey Ribs leads anything. Please leave your suicide suggestions for me in the comments.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

If you have to kill yourself, do us all a favor and fly a plane into Mikey Ribs. It may seem like overkill but why leave anything to chance. :)

Noda said...

Hiring Hull was loopy!! But was it really as bizarre as the Islanders making Snow their GM with no experience at all!? That whole situation was worthy of a made for TV movie: Islanders hiring Neil Smith, firing Smith after just over a month, replacing him with Snow who at the time hadn't even confirmed his retirement? of course if Hull is half as successful as Snow we might be witnessing the End of Days. But that Snow situation was beyond crazy!

But if you are going to off yourself over Ribs maybe you should just pretend to do it. that's what ribs would do.

LeNoceur said...

I think the only possible way to commit suicide in this instance is by overdosing on McDonald's McRib sandwiches. Effective, and tasty.

HabsFan29 said...

@noda - "But if you are going to off yourself over Ribs maybe you should just pretend to do it. that's what ribs would do."

+1, sir.

yeah tough call between Snow and Hull. Snow maybe more bizarre given it was permanent and he was the only one. But Snow by all accounts is at least, you know, intelligent and not bat-shit crazy. I'd love to go out to a strip club with Hull, but run a team??? yeesh

HabsFan29 said...

I am pleased to report I am currenlty into my 4th McRib and my heart is really starting to burn. But YUM! Great idea lenoceur

Noda said...

HF29 if you are ever invited to strip club with Hull I want in!

Steve Vale said...

PAINLESS
I thought you guys ought to know. I'm going to commit suicide.

...

HAWKEYE
How do you figure to go? Forty-five between the eyes?

DUKE
Powerful sloppy.

MURRHARDT
Reliable though.

PAINLESS
That's really what I came here for. See what you guys recommend.

HAWKEYE
Well, I'm sure my colleagues will agree there are a number of dependable measures for extinguishing the vital forces.

TRAPPER
Black capsule.

panger76 said...

"he missed 3 games with wussiness"

You're killing me here. Outstanding!

Jean-Francois said...

If you are to commit suicide, it should always be from something really hard, excrutiating.

How about putting the last game of last season (Habs-Leafs) in loop on your TV for a while.

Any Habs fans would die watching that over and over again.