Saturday, November 10, 2007

Ladies and Gentlemen, We have received confirmation that God Will be Taking Time Out From His Busy Schedule to Guest Star on Today's Open Thread


We like to exhibit some flesh for our open thread, but the challenge upon us today requires divine intervention.

Things you should know while waiting in line at the gates of St-Peter's - Very special 3:00 PM start, Parliament Hill (the NHL has ruled that the game will be played in the upper chamber), Ottawa, Ontario. On TV: RDS and RDS-HD in French, CBC and CBC-HD in English. Montreal English radio CJAD, Montreal French radio CKAC. Habs lost the game on a failed Greek Lightning clearing attempt late in the third in the only meeting between these 2 teams this year. The Habs are climbing atop most power ranking lists around the Internet, while the Sens rest comfortably at the top, amusingly looking down on the common folk doing battle to be anointed the Best of the Rest.

Confess your sins to - Five for Smiting. If FHF were an actual person, FFS would be its BFF. We'd like have slumber parties, and go out for coffee and talk about our dates, and like totally be there for one another.

The gates of heaven are rapidly closing - Guy is still nursing a sore hip/back/slow start/allergic to soy beans/won't play the senators because he believes the senate should be abolished and will back PM Stephen Harper's platform to call a national referendum on the matter, and only after the citizens of this country will have spoken will he play versus Ottawa again, injury. In Ottawa, God seems to be paying attention to the faint cries coming out of Montreal because he has not fixed Jason Spezza's groin yet. Thanks for the solid, Big G.

Welcome to the Garden of Eden - Cristobal Huet is being fitted for wings and a flowing white robe after the show he stole in Montreal against the Sabres. Tomas Plekanec was a force in Boston as he and Kostitsyn combined for a carbon copy of the goal scored against Buffalo on Monday.

Sens Worthy of Canonization - They are 13-2: every name on the roster. Go ahead and stitch a "St-" on every single jersey. Imagine, if Kostitsyn were canonized, he would be St-Tits! (read that last sentence in French for the desired effect).

The fires of hell are engulfing - Overheard over the intercom in heaven: Michael Ryder, will Mr. Michael Ryder please report to hell. Michael Ryder report to hell, thank you.

Love thy neighbor, but not these guys
- I really shouldn't defame any of the newly canonized Senators, that would be blasphemous.

Last ever post-game adult entertainment establishment you will ever visit if the Habs win as a trade-off for a win - If we beat the Sens and I catch one of you celebrating at a strip club after having prayed to the Lord for his mercy...don't even get me started. Just head over to The First Baptist Church, get you on your knees (yes you too, Jews and Muslims, this is an ecumenical thank you) and give praise to The Man en haut and whichever Hab ghost who took the time to lobby on our behalf.

Watching the game? At the game?

Listening? Imagining the game in your head? Let's hear your dirty, er, holy, holy thoughts in the comments.

43 comments:

Senators Lost Cojones said...

That is the ugliest stripper I have ever seen.

OMG! U GYZ RK! BFF!

But I'll still be back to taunt. Nothing personal you understand. Losing to Crazy Ted's Miniature Ruskies on Thursday, combined with last night's 3:00am hot water tank explosion has me in a rather ornery mood. My plumber? He's fucking ecstatic.

See you in 30 minutes. K?BY!

HabsFan33 said...

Good for PJ Stock making it to HNIC.

HabsFan33 said...

What's with the Sound of Music rendition of the anthem. I'm expecting Julie Andrews to come out twirling at centre ice any moment now.

HabsFan33 said...

Gerber's solid dark mask. Hmmm. Is Ottawa the first ever NHL team with two black goalies?

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Lyndon was just trying to make the Habs feel welcome by chanelling his inner Roger Doucet.

I particularly like the way he mangles Et ton bras sais porté l'épee, il sais porté la croix part. Makes my bilingual bits all tingly.

Good start so far...for YOU guys.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Aaaaaannnnd....CRAP!

HabsFan33 said...

Ryder collapsing somehow leads to Markov disguised as Sheldon.

HabsFan33 said...

KOIVU DROPPING THE GLOVES!!!! I HAVE NOW SEEN IT ALL.

HabsFan33 said...

Huet dit non. Et non, c'est non.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

I do believe White No. 8 is very much beginning to annoy me.

Do you think Koivu and Eaves asked each other just what the hell they were doing after they dropped them?

HabsFan33 said...

I wonder if on that 2 on 1 Ryder was thinking pass or contract.

HabsFan33 said...

SLC I think you're right about that Eaves-Koivu convo. Eaves just explained it on HNIC. "We just started hitting each other in the face." Yup, that'll pretty much do it.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Oooh, that reminds me. I have to invite my family up for Christmas dinner. Thanks HF33.

All in all, a pretty entertaining period I thought. But Mikey K had better have his head up if he wants to run at 50-ish million dollars of our payroll.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

HF33: In answer to your earlier question, Contract.

HabsFan33 said...

Ryder with a lazy ass penalty. He's playing himself right to the pressbox.

HabsFan33 said...

Oh my God.

HabsFan33 said...

Huet is on another level. He's showing emotion!

Senators Lost Cojones said...

That's it. We're declaring war on France. And Greece.

HabsFan33 said...

SLC is the best game of the year so far? I think that Habs fans will agree that this is the best duel Montreal has been involved in this season.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Was the "Oh my God" in reference to the penalty shot or the thievery on Robitaille?

Senators Lost Cojones said...

HF33: I'd have to say yes. It almost feels like a playoff game.

And it's been a long time since the Bank has been that loud. I'd like to credit the locals, but I know better.

HabsFan33 said...

The Thievery Corporation.

Yes, it really is being played like a playoff game.

HabsFan33 said...

Komisarek was like a kid in that interview. You haver to imagine that the players are loving this game.

Damion said...

wtf... 2 viagra commercials during a 3 pm family game time broadcast?
definitely a playoff feel to this game. funny though: koivu seems to be feeding off the energy, kovy seems frustrated that he's being outmuscled.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

I'm sure Spezz's groin is just itching to get out there. Wait, what??

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Damion: Because, if you're taking Viagra, you're already in bed during prime time. They have to advertise to their target audience after all.

Bryan said...

what a game!

grabovski made a beautiful defensive play midway through the second. i didn't like brisebois giving alfy the p.s. but huet stoned him. komisarek is making a decent run at having his name and number on the back of my first lettered jersey -- lookout koivu! you've got some competition! best game of the year so far

HabsFan33 said...

SLC, we have company!

Agreed Damion and Bryan, what a game.

Bryan: Komi's #8 is a sound investment, but make sure you have enough left over when time comes to pay for the "c".

HabsFan33 said...

How is that not a penalty shot?

Senators Lost Cojones said...

HF33: Captain? Really? Can he speak French?

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Gotta say, if Alfie's was a PS, than that should have been too. But we'll gladly take our chances on the PK.

HabsFan33 said...

Mais oui, SLC! Voici mes coequipiers!

Does Ryder qualify as a Canadiens ghost?

Senators Lost Cojones said...

HF33: Don't think so. More of a poltergeist I think. You know, makes a little noise, breaks some dishes, but is otherwise invisible.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

ALLLLLLLLLFIEEEE!!!!!!!!

HabsFan33 said...

Agh...

msevigny said...

You knew that was coming once the Habs fell into "hang on for dear life" mode and the Habs fans--I swear to god I don't know why they still do this--started singing the OLE song with a one-goal lead.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Ahem...mimimi...lalalal...*cough*. NEEEEEEEILLLLLLLLL!!!

HabsFan33 said...

That hurts.
The New England Patriots of the NHL. Quick kill late in the game.

Damion said...

tabarnac. and, yes, the habs fans have an annoying habit of premature gloating.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

HF33: I read that somewhere once...

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Ole Oleoleole...Oooolee Ole. OLEEEE OLEOLEOLE OOOOLEE OLLEE!!

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

Wow! What a game! This, gentlemen, would make one HELL of a playoff series. Non?

Bryan said...

Oui

fezworth said...

Non. I don't want to see the Habs lose either in 7 or 4 straight. In any case, here's to Ottawa being bounced by the Thrashers in the first round so a MTL-OTT series never happens. No offense Cojones, but your boys scare the crap out of me. I don't want the ASH line within 10 feet of my boy Carey. He doesn't deserve that.