Monday, July 07, 2008

Brushes with Habness - Dave Manson Screams Like a Little Girl

Brushes With Habness is a feature began last summer on FHF, wherein we, the FHF, tell you riveting stories about our brushes with Habs and people in the Habs family. Basically, some filler while we wait for the damn season to start. Mindless filler week has begun!

So as we reported last year, Dad was a doctor. Dad was an ear, nose, and throat man (an otorhinolaryngologist for all you medical types) and was listed as one of the official doctors for the Canadiens (one of hundreds, it's not like he was so special). Also, as a Jew, Dad always volunteered to be on call for the department on Christmas. These facts are important to this mindless filler.

These facts are important because on December 25, 1996, Dad was called into the hospital on an emergency. He gets to the ER and finds his patient, one Dave Manson of the Montreal Canadiens. Now you'll be forgiven if you don't remember Dave Manson. Well, unless you lived in Montreal, Winnipeg, Toronto, Chicago, Edmonton, Dallas, or one of the other 400 NHL cities he played in. He was a serviceable defenseman and first round draft pick who once had 50+ points and 350+ PIM for Chicago in one season. We seem to recall him quite fondly from his time with the Habs.

So Dad asks Dave Manson what's up, and the nurse hands Dad an x-ray. Dave has somehow managed to have a pine needle from a christmas tree lodged in his ear canal. Now, Dad never asked how it got in there, but I like to think Dave had some sort of weird ear sex fetish. ANYWAY, Dad says "it's really buried pretty deep in there, this might hurt a bit. Do you want some sort of anaesthetic or painkiller?" Dave, tough guy hockey player, of course says no. Dad grabs the medical equivalent of long-nosed pliers, starts digging around the ear canal and as soon as he penetrated an inch or two, Dave starts screaming like a little girl. After a couple of minutes of careful digging, Dad managed to remove the needle without damaging the eardrum or any important hearing-related anatomy. Dad reported later Dave screamed through the whole thing. Wuss.

Tomorrow on FHF - Dad removes a gerbil from Stéphane Richer's ass

14 comments:

Habsfan10 said...

I love that story! Tell it again!

All hail the awesomeness of Dr. HF29's Dad.

panger76 said...

HF29 - if you're just teasing about Richer I'll be really upset!!

In an unrelated question, did you have any pets growing up?

HabsFan29 said...

no joke Panger, I had gerbils

i also had a dog named "Smokey". no joke on that one either

Robert L said...

I bet Richer came back the following week to have it reinserted!

Anonymous said...

I met Dave Manson once as a teenager at skating with the Canadiens, scared the shit out of me. The thing that scared me the most was his voice, it was so grizzled. The dudes nick name is "Charlie", I just can't imagine him screaming like a little girl, unless its a little girl who smokes cigars and has throat cancer and a bad case of laryngitis. However, the weird ear sex fetish...

Stever

Habsfan10 said...

Robert, between your latest handcuff pictures and that comment, you're dangerously close to become the Fifth Hab Fan.

Guy said...

Ha ha, Fifteen years of losing, and many more on the way, and you guys tell jokes. Guess you tell what you are.

Habs101 said...

Just curious 29. Was your dad the doc that had to pry Dagenais from the little fuckity fuck on New Years Eve 2003? I heard they, along with Curly Jo (Theodore) were enjoying the night playing charades and deliverance. Theo won the 'purdiest mouth' competition and TLFF CAN squeal like a pig...

panger76 said...

@stever: Dave/Charlie Manson took a puck to the throat and damaged his larynx, hence the grizzled voice. It suited him, though.

@habs101 - I feel violated by that story. But not as vioated as Dasgenais.

Habsfan10 said...

@guy:

Thanks for showing up and not realizing what the site is all about before you made a jackass of yourself in the comments. Don't let the internet door hit your dumb ass on the way out.

Love, the fans of your 2008 Northeast Division and Eastern Conference Champs.

Habs101 said...

@panger: a little violation never hurt anybody...the 4th or 5th time...I imagine...

@guy: Ha Ha. You're dumb.

Robert L said...

HabsFan10 - I thank for that. I consider that an honour!

CVennasty said...

Love the shoutout to obscure Hab. My favourite is Stephane Fiset, a short-stop backup for the Habs in the Theo days, whose hockey card mentioned his promise and his "karate-quick glove hand."

And how about Gino Odjick? Whatever happened to that guy?

Anonymous said...

Ah, Dave Manson. I remember him mostly from his time in Winnipeg and Edmonton. Frigging dirty player I hated with a vengeance but would have loved to have had on my team.

And didn't he get in trouble for trying to blow out knees using his stick a few times? Or is my memory failing?