Thursday, September 25, 2008

Habs Announce Party Plans; Bell Centre to become BYOB (Bring Your Own Boatload of Cash for Souvenirs)

Look, the Habs celebrate their way, we celebrate ours, okay?

So the Canadiens have announced the official party plans for their 100th (give or take a few years) anniversary, and boy is there a shitload of stuff happening:

Six different jerseys, celebrating the Canadiens entire stripy, woollen history. I love the Habs current "classic" bleu, blanc et rouge, which has been the standard forever, but if anyone wants to buy me one of those 1910-11 or 1912-13 or 1945-46 jerseys (Mrs HF10, I'm looking in your direction!) I'd be loving it.

Retiring St. Patrick's number and adding a Ring of Honour. We've already discussed this. No word on whether Cam Neely will rip a shot over Patrick's glove hand during the ceremony. Fucking Cam Neely.

Builders night for the coaches. (Finally Bob Berry gets his due!)

Original Six Salutes versus the Leafs and the Rangers (Rangers fans have their own salute, I bet).

The All-Star game (Vote Price! And Kovy! And Markov! And DOOM! And Tits! And MORE Tits!)

The draft, where we see John Tavares go to the Devils 2nd overall after Uncle Cliffy trades the Leafs pick for Colin White at the trade deadline.

The opening of the Centennial Plaza/cash grab/new hobo hangout.

The opening of a Canadiens-sponsored local rink. No joke here; that's a good thing.

An event with the Montreal Symphony Orchestra, featuring the magnum opus "The Night the Lights Went out in Boston: 80 years of Beating the Bruins" by Sergei "Red Light" Rachmaninoff.

Commemorative stamps and coins. STAMPS! COINS! If there's one thing 21st century kids love to do, it's collect stamps and coins!

A movie starring every Quebecois actor, with Roy Dupuis playing the Rocket, Beliveau, Dick Irvin Senior and Junior, St. Patrick, Fast Eddie Palchak, Koivu, Donald Brashear, and Hartland Molson.

It all ends on December 4, 2009 with the Centennial Game, which, if the NHL schedule-makers screw with the Habs like they did at the closing of the Forum (the Dallas Stars? Really? And while we are at it, the Rangers opened the Bell Centre? Really?) means 75,000 in the Stade Olympique to watch the Habs tangle with their historic rivals from Anaheim.

All topped off with a batch of 100th Anniversary HabsMeth courtesy of HF29, Official Meth Supplier to the 100th Anniversary Celebrations.*

*Not exactly. 29 only has enough meth for our loyal readers.


HabsFan29 said...

I think the rivalry with Phoenix is more historic than Anaheim. +1, 10

OK, that's it, I'm setting up my own meth lab. someone buy me all the Sudafed they can find!

Limerick Dude said...

So, what does this mean? Is it the end of Halak? Or is Jaro hurt more than we (or at least I) know?

Habs ink goaltender Robert Mayer

DC said...

I'm a disloyal reader. Do I get meth?

Seth said...

I'm in Belgium (still!) Can I get my meth in the mail?

Seth said...

p.s. here you can get all the Sudafed you want and we all know what goes on across our customs-free border with the Netherlands

msevigny said...

Has anyone previously noticed that Top Ten Habs games DVD box set in the photo gallery from that link? I see Habs-Leafs 1960, Habs-Nords 1984, and Habs-Rangers 2008 (that was a top ten game? Really?).

Anonymous said...

Hey. Roy Dupuis COULD portray all those players beautifully. He's that good.

Anonymous said...

Good post you big giant knobs.

Further to your reference to Rachmaninoff, Kovalev has stated more than once that his game is deeply influenced by the tortured modernist Soviet composer Dmitri Shostakovich.

And, as we all know, the Brothers Tits often cite the early work of Malevich, a painter and art theoretician, pioneer of geometric abstract art and the originator of the Avant-garde Suprematist movement.

And as for our beloved Habs from closer to home, Chris Higgins readily admits that were it not for the early and energetic work of the painter Jackson Pollock (not the work of the later and deeply alcoholic years, when tragically Mr. Pollock, his two tone Buick, and his 13 year old ‘niece’ finally and fatally plunged off the road at great speed and struck a large Elm tree, this being a time long before Dutch Elm disease had blighted those beautiful specimens), his game would have had no grounding, no substance.

Pants to you.