Saturday, February 13, 2010

20 minutes does not a hockey game make - Phlyers 3, Habs 2

As we have very little time before the rematch, I'll be brief. Also, feeling hungover. Those Dogfish Head IPA's are delicious, but killer. I think there must be some evil chemical in them. In fact, they've made me so hungover, I don't feel I can do much else besides list out some bullet points. They're easier on the head.
  • Despite repeated pleas for me to go out to dinner, I watched every second of that game, so I feel I am in a position to say: what the fuck was that for 40 minutes? Maybe for the first 5 minutes of the first we were sort of barely ok, but after that the Habs stood around watching, like they were trying to figure out why four penises rose out from the BC Place floor during the opening ceremonies;
  • For 40 minutes, the only player to really show up was the Subbanator. Truly a joy to watch. Puck-handling! By a defenseman! On the Habs!
  • Blame TFS all you want (and on that 2nd goal, you'd be right), but he made MANY key saves at key times that gave us some hope for a comeback. Jaro wouldn't have won that game either;
  • Blame the refs all you want (and for a lot of stuff, you'd be right), but Habs can't win a game in 20 minutes;
  • Blame injuries all you want (and sure, you'd be right), but the guys out there were still NHL'ers (sort of). They know how to skate, right?
  • Congrats to Dominic Moore for getting his first one for the Habs. If only I had heard your name over those first 40 minutes;
  • Let's hope Jaro 2.0 is alive. Phlyers are still a bunch of dirty fucks. I thought the 1970's were over;
  • Nice to see The Mexican show some of that hot-blooded Latin emotion at the end of the game there. If only he would have showed some of it during the game.
OK that's all my head can take for now. Enjoy Sexy Saturday. Go Jenn Heil! Back later for Round 2.


GoldenGirl11 said...

So four ice penises DID rise from the ground? I thought the alcohol had me seeing things. And the dancing sperm were real too? The pregnant one totally makes sense now. Oh Canada. What were you thinking.

boob gainey said...

Dogfish Head IPA is great. Is it available in Quebec?

BTW if you like that American style of IPA, Dieu du Ciel makes a delicious one called Corne du Diable.

HabsFan29 said...

@boob - i wish. get it brought in from Ottawa for me

Ronan said...

My favourite part was when one of the penises couldn't get it up. I'm guessing Viagra isn't an Olympic sponsor this year?

Number31 said...

Elvis Stojko should unretire.

So what are the odds on Price going Ron Hextall on Hartnell tonight?

gillis said...

It was message to god that 3 out of 4 canadian males can't get it up

gillis said...

PS. google chrome has fucked up, I couldn't post comments through chrome. (doesn't google own blogger?). anyway, now I'm on fucking IE.

GoldenGirl11 said...

I think you mean ED

gillis said...

@GG: No, I'm too young for that

kristin said...

I knew the Habs were in trouble when Flyers fans started yelling "Shoot the puck!!!!" during a Habs power play. That's usually reserved for Flyers only.

Also, I wanted to crawl under a rock when Philly fans booed Spacek as he skated off the ice. It's not that I haven't done the same before, but this time was particularly uncomfortable.

Also also, I only saw one large group of Habs fans last night. Usually they are everywhere! What gives?

GoldenGirl11 said...

Sorry. I meant Canada.

Not that I don't love our great Canadian superstars but it's amazing that our best known icons are still Donald Sutherland and Anne Murray.

HabsFan29 said...

@gillis - there's something called Firefox. look into it

but maybe it's just a pop up blocker of some sort in Chrome?

@kristin - we're embarrassed to travel now

Kmaxx said...

I haven't seen the shots total...Did we get 25 shots? Opening ceremonies were fantastic but I get a bit worried when the best we can muster to carry the flag includes Terry Fox's Mom and Donald Sutherland. Seeing Bobby Orr was a nice touch but havinf Wayne light the torch twice was just lazy. What happened - did we run out of Canadians?

Let's get a rousing Go Habs Go, and enjoy the break after tonight boys.

boob gainey said...

The whole thing was an Epic fail., and not because the penis didn't rise.

Think of Leonard Cohen. KD Lang murdered his greatest song.

Which is nothing compared to what Nikki Yanofsky did to Oh Canada.

Which is again nothing compared to the song Nelly Furtado and Bryan Adams did. It sounds like it was written by a ten year old.

In the country of Robert Lepage and Cirque du Soleil they hire an Australian to do the opening ceremonies. The special effects were OK, but the show gave the impression that Canada is a country of punk fiddlers.

And apart from Michaelle Jean, the only person who spoke more words of French than "Bien-venoo" was the Belgian dude.

RiRi said...

GO HABS GO!!! Halak in goal!

Go into the break on a good note(please, I`m begging)!!

P.S. Looking at the Flyers lineup and it`s like a sea of douchebags. (Really, Hartnell, get a haircut for chrissakes, you look ridiculous!)

Moey said...

I, like HF29 am feeling a wee bit fragile today. I'm trying to shake the cobwebs out of my brain. I watched a bit of the game this morning, Jesus those Flyers are a bunch of ugly fuckers. And what about poor Spacek? Anyone know if he's okay? I predict a fight breaks out in the first two minutes tonight, either by the Habs or by Mr. Moey et moi. We're both cranky.

kevincrumbs said...

@kristin: Probably all were back home with Olympic fever.

As an American, I vote for a skate to the groin of Jeff Carter. Takes care of the Flyers and Canadians in one single motion.

Number31 said...

I think the Olympics need more demon fiddlers. Actually they initially HAD the Cirque du Solei but started to dictate to them what they should do so the Cirque gave VANOC the old "fuck you bye".

No one knows if Spacek is alive. Only Darche, BigTits, Dags, Desharnais, Pyatt, Markov, Mara, Subs, and the two goalies practiced this morning so apparently the rest of the team vanished too. Not that they were around last night, mind... Markov might not play tonight either. He should call Ovechkin and tell him to shove those Olympic rings up his ass.

Ronan said...

Wait... if Markov is still injured, and Spacek is somewhere between achy and dead, why have we not called anyone up? Unless Mara is good to go?

FWIW the punk-demon fiddlers were awesome. The rest really sucked.

David said...

I get that steve Nash is from Victoria and all, but couldn't they get someone who actually won a winter olympic medal? Someone like say... oh I don't know, Gaetan fucking Boucher?