Sunday, February 21, 2010

Canadian Olympic Hottie of the Day and a Canada-USA Preview and Open Thread

Say hellooo to Kristi Richards. She may have flamed out in women's moguls, but fuck I don't give a shit, for obvious reasons. Rowr.

Speaking of flaming out, yesterday was a day of epic chokage for the Canadians. Goddamn it, that $118 mill to own the podium should have been spent on health care. We're now down to 5th in the medal standings. Let's start with our "sure thing" medalists, the Hamelin brothers in short track, finishing 4th and 5th. Gah. Let's move on to our alpine skiers again failing to medal, this time in Women's Super G. Joining the crash parade was our two-man bobsled crew Canada 1, third after the first run then literally crashing out. And Denny Morrison blew huge chunks in the 1500m long track.

On the other side of the coin, sometimes non-medal performances are outstanding. Take our men cross-country skiers, who had three in the Top 10 in the 30k pursuit. The 5th place finish was the best ever for a male Canadian in the sport. That's the type of performance we like. Rising to the occasion, instead of crashing out in front of it. Good on ya, nameless cross-country skiers who toil in obscurity.

We can also be proud of our Habs yesterday. Little Tits had 1G 3A in Belarus' 5-3 win over Germany, and Jaro stayed hot and shut out the Latvians. In BWAHAHAHAHA hockey news, Mikhael Grabovski spent the night in jail.

OK, on to today's hockey action. What a day for hockey fans. Sandwiched around the big game are two other rivalry games, Russia vs. the Czechs and Sweden-Finland. I may be a zombie by the end of it, but it's gonna be fun.

The Canada-USA game should be the highlight of the hockey tournament so far. 7:30 PM on CTV. Huge game, not just for pride but for standings. Canada needs a win to finish first in Group A. Finishing first means a direct trip to the quarter-finals instead of heading to the "qualification round", whatever the hell that means. If someone could explain the system to me, free ice cream and free meth. The last time these teams met in the Olympics the Canadians took the gold medal final in 2002. Brodeur is getting the start. Looks like Mike Richards will get a chance with Sid, as the coaching staff does their best Carbo line-juggling impression. The only consistent line we have has been the San Jose line. And our defence may be slow and injured. Add facing a goalie that can easily steal a game (Ryan Miller), and Canada is in tough. Hopefully Kristi Richards can inspire them.

107 comments:

moeman said...

C. Hamelin blaming the crowd noise for fucking up his pace.
D. Morrison blaming The Podium owning for fucking up his training.
Shit happened guys, suck it up.

Go Pants!

Go Canada!!

HabsFan29 said...

thx for reminding me of Denny Morrison moe. updated the post accordingly. there was so much chokage yesterday i couldn't keep track of it all

Hypnotoad said...

Why did people expect Morrison to win anything? His current world cup ranking is 4th in the 1500m and 6th in the 1000m. I mean, he had a shot and certainly underperformed, but he was far from a sure thing.

Also I don't know who is in charge of developing strategies for the short track team, but I think he should reconsider his "let's take the lead in the first lap and drag our opponents to the finish line" strategy.

HabsFan29 said...

hypnotoad i like both your solid analysis and your superior screen name. but i may be under the spell of your crazy eyes and weird humming noise

boob gainey said...

Top scorer in the hockey tournament?

A youngster by the name of Sergei Kostitsyn.

Baroque said...

Here's hoping for a good, competitive US-Canada game with no injuries (except maybe to Pronger).

moeman said...

Could be a good day for Canadians.

Go long-track gals!

Also, 9 hours of rivalry hockey, can the FHF comments make it to methian gold?

Speaking of gorgeous things that glitter, today's ice cream flavour is Beer flavoured Gillisian West Coast Gold.

As Rita Marley sang, I wanna get high, so high.

Give mi some riddim mek mi Pants! dance FHFers!

cottoneye said...

I haven't had the chance to watch a lot of the Olympics but so far I've seen:

1) The Canada - Swiss men's Hockey game (the one that went to the shootout)

2) The Skeleton women's finals (where Hollingsworth finished 4th)

3) The 1000m short track skating men's final (where the brothers Hamelin finished 4th and 5th).

I probably shouldn't watch the US-CANADA game tonight, right?

gillis said...

Haha moe, thanks for that.

Don't worry about people underacheiving at the olympics. I won (beer) Olympic gold yesterday and was an extreme underdog so it wasn't a terrible day.

Robbie said...

Here is some more fuel for the fire. Canada's performance in the last few Olympics

1994 Lillehammer: 13 medals ranked 7th
1998 Nagano: 15 medals ranked 4th
2002 Salt Lake: 17 medals ranked 5
th
2006 Turin 24 medals ranked 5th (actually 3rd most medals but ranked based on total golds).
2010 Vancouver (who knows but probably not even as many as Nagano

The problem with this is the 118mill spent of your and my tax payer dollars on the ''Own the podium'' initiative. In 2004 the brains of sport and government decided it would be in the best interest of all Canadians and our image abroad if our athlete's Owned the podium in 2010 seeing as the games were on home soil. So they decided that serious spending and involvement was necessary to ensure this goal was realized.

You see i have no issue with money being spent. Quite the contrary it was about time that the government got behind the athlete's with some well deserved funding. My problem is the obvious lack of results. Who knows what got fucked up in
the process but something obviously did. You just have to look at results prior to this spending initiative.

The other issue i have is all the excuses now starting to be rolled out to justify whats happening. Everything from the, ''Pressure of competition'' to the, ''we weren't really supposed to win that anyways''. Its getting rather sad and it is even embarrassing to hear how when you are ranked 1st 2nd or 3rd in the world and ''you weren't supposed to win''. What that does is simply diminish the medal performances of those athletes who were able to win and who were supposed to win. I mean common people the olympics are the Stanley Cup, The Superbowl, the World Series. They are not a world cup event. If athletes want to be appreciated and recognized as the best then its at the Olympics where it has to happen, no excuses, no stories, no, ''hey were Canadians'' and the your best effort is good enough. The idea that the amateur status some how exempts them from having to achieve the podium might have been acceptable before the 118 million and ''Own The Podium'' but it no longer does.

LukieNussbaum11 said...

Goddamn it, that $118 mill to own the podium should have been spent on health care.
'own the podium'? They thought it was 'own the opium'! Ohhhhhhhh. No wonder!

kevincrumbs said...

Don't we have some FHF readers in Vancouver? I'm willing to bet that one of them provoked Grabovski.

Well done.

Boob Gainey said...

These Olympics are cursed. Poor Joannie Rochette.

moeman said...

Boob knows. Condolences to Joannie et famille.

moeman said...

Going Bilodeau+Ricker+Nesbitt+Montgomery style with a BBQ buffet today;

~ maple glazed pork tenderloin

~ maplewood+mesquite chicken tits

~ hot Canadian sausage (en hommage à nos FHFemmes)

~ dirty Acadian dirty rice

~ maple butter pecan cake with maple creme CHeese icing and lemon sorbet (pecans are pralined in my sister's Sucrerie's maple sugar)

~ Beautiful B.C.'s Mission Hill Chardonnay and Merlot

~ Sleemans HoneyBrown and Red

Le Douze said...

Definitely Kristi has an awesome undercarriage. But Cheryl Bernard is still my favorite Olympian hottie, even if she has 2 decades on the competition. Seeing her belly button made me wonder which publication would be most likely to ask Cheryl to do a cheesecake spread. Unfortunately, I drew a blank.

Allons-y with the hockey!

moeman said...

Currently on my teevee screen is the cute Carmen Schaefer and her tongue stud.

moeman said...

Slightly off-topic but can the Habs sign Jagr for the stretCH run?

Moey said...

@moeman,

Sounds yummy. I'm just making a garden variety pork rib roast with roasted potatoes. Popping M&M's lavalicious chocolate cakes in the micro for dessert. I'm never inspired in the kitchen on Sunday, I blame the stupid psycho boss. Now I'm getting depressed.

moeman said...

@Moey, feel better babe and sip a little summin' red or white (hey! dems Canada's colours).

moeman said...

Pleks, wow!

RiRi said...

Pleky!!

Re: the Canadian chokage. Now, they`re hyping them up again saying they have high hopes for a good second week. Great. Yesterday was so disappointing... Sigh.

HabsFan29 said...

ovie-semin-malkin is just ridiculous

just got home from a long brunch. mimosas make for a great Sunday

Sonia said...

Meanwhile, Chris Del Bosco - ARRRGH!
Awesome sport, though, Ski Cross.

moeman said...

W8W!

RiRi said...

Ovechkin is like a tank! He just almost killed Jagr.

Robbie said...

Its a wonder Jagr got up from that one...holy, ''what the fuck hit me Batman''

boob gainey said...

This sets up a possible Canada - Russia semifinal.

moeman said...

Games on the 'left coast', many Eurs playing, non-fighting hockey. Ya think doncherry is happy? No? Good!

moeman said...

Eurs = Euros

Le Douze said...

I see hottie Cheryl creamed the 'merkuns while we were watching SuperPlex and the Ovie steamroller show. Though by the sound of it, it was kind of like the '75-6 Habs vs. the KC Scouts.

Too bad the Czeck coach didn't put Jagr on with SuperPlex and Krecji - for once McSplooge had the right idea.

HabsFan29 said...

oh look i turned on hockey just to possibly see more chokage.

CMON CHRISTINE!!!!

HabsFan29 said...

big surprise

at least a silver for Groves. well done Kristina. even though you were favoured for gold. i'll take it right now

HabsFan29 said...

whoops that was all on tape. where have i been all day?

oh yeah, drunk on mimosas

HabsFan29 said...

Duthie: "most Canadians will let the Americans have all the medals if we can beat them at hockey"

put me in the minority

HabsFan29 said...

mcsplooge: it'll come down to goaltending.

i agree with mcsplooge. that's unpleasant

HabsFan29 said...

not a good start

HabsFan29 said...

brendan morrow? he's on this team?

LukieNussbaum11 said...

Isn't Jack Johnson a singer?

HabsFan29 said...

not sure who tipped that, but w00t!

ezzeloharr said...

Collective sigh of relief?

Moey said...

Luongo?

Score!

Moey said...

With an active stick of course, is there any other way?

Well that was short lived...

HabsFan29 said...

oh goddamnit

NOW we should really see Luongo, not Gord Miller's hallucinations about him moey

boob gainey said...

Brodeur having a nightmare.

Not so easy without the NJ Devils' trap in front of you is it?

HabsFan29 said...

"Brodeur thinks twice about playing the puck"

summed it up there gord

boob gainey said...

Pronger looks like a slow Hal Gill.

moeman said...

Congrats Kristina Groves.

RiRi said...

And I thought I was the only one who heard Gord Miller say Luongo!

WTF is wrong with Brodeur? Ugh.

And the choking continues...

boob gainey said...

What's the point of Toews, Richards, Bergeron and Morrow?

boob gainey said...

Babcock telling his players "let's be hard to play against".

Isn't that what Burke wanted for the Leafs this season?

RiRi said...

What about old man Niedermayer?

RiRi said...

Brodeur`s got a .666 save percentage after the first period.

What are the chances of him being replaced by Luongo if he lets in another one early in the 2nd?

Moey said...

Pulling Brodeur could be a bad omen, like when Tretiak was pulled after the US scored two in 1980. We all know how that turned out.

moeman said...

Heat.

boob gainey said...

OK, so that's the point of Toews and Morrow.

moeman said...

gord Miller says every save by Miller is 'what a save!' Coincidence they have the same last name?

boob gainey said...

I haven't seen a team be dominated like this since the last time the Habs played.

LukieNussbaum11 said...

Why do they keep showing a bar in Toronto? Are they the only place in Canada with fans watching on a big screen?

Moey said...

@LN,

It is the center of the hockey universe after all...*gag*

moeman said...

LN11, cuz its wayne's bar. Media is still squeezing that lemon.

LukieNussbaum11 said...

I'm sure Wayne Spends tons of time there with Janet and the kids.

moeman said...

Casinorama is a short hike down the QWE.

moeman said...

Doughty has more game than Neidermeyer and pronger combined.

HabsFan29 said...

oh goddamit brodeur flailing all over the place

moeman said...

Gillian effort by pronger. Apologies to Hal Gill.

boob gainey said...

Brodeur's last game.

RiRi said...

They`re lucky Miller is a brick wall.

RiRi said...

What`s with the 8 million back-to-back breakways?

boob gainey said...

THornton gutless there.

habsss said...

Christ the announcer on NBC sounds exactly like the Comcast guy for the Capitals.

LukieNussbaum11 said...

I'd like the talking cars to run over Brian Williams voice box and then drive off a bridge into the ocean.

HabsFan29 said...

my god we're slow and we suck

/there, i said it

boob gainey said...

Russia in the quarterfinals if we lose this.

HabsFan29 said...

meh

RiRi said...

Well this is just embarassing...

HabsFan29 said...

if this was the Habs in the bell centre, the booing would be merciless by now

RiRi said...

Ha! Nash towering over Kane!

RiRi said...

"Sidney Crosby, the only thing Canada could put in the net."

Imagine having to listen to Burke and Wilson`s smug remarks after this...

boob gainey said...

Top five power play point scorers in the NHL this season:

1. Stamkos
2. Green
3. Backstrom
4. St.Louis
5. Brad Richards

HabsFan29 said...

hope... hope...

HabsFan29 said...

where was this for 55 minutes

RiRi said...

I`m terrified of watching the last minute...

HabsFan29 said...

this was a round robin to forget

RiRi said...

I hate YOU, Kesler.

moeman said...

nope... nope...

boob gainey said...

Beaten by one man.

Even then, Brodeur was terrible. Should have ended 3-1 for Canada.

LukieNussbaum11 said...

Why don't these zillionaires play 60 minutes??????? I think the talking cars should run over team Canada too.

RiRi said...

"Welcome to the Miller show!"

You are so fucking predictable, McSplooge. Get some new material. Better yet, STFU.

RiRi said...

Hey, there is hope after all. We`re playing Germany in that qualification thingy.

habsss said...

I hate living in America. Tomorrow's going to suck.

moeman said...

Go Saku!

orangeman said...

How can Canada suck in so many ways in so many sports on so many days? What other country chokes this much? I just don't understand. It boggles the mind. Yeah, we got a silver today. We also had 3/5 top ranked skaters out there including the 1-2 who haven't lost a race between them this season. The athletes don't owe me anything, but it's really hard to be a Canadian sports fan.

Anyway, props to Klassen today for showing up and giving it all (a real champ and all around wonderful person). And of course shout out to Rochette who will make us all proud no matter what she does. We do have great athletes, I just want them to freaking win once in a while!

Oh, and FUCK YOU Miller (and your girlfriend McSplooge).

orangeman said...

Oh fuck you TSN, Miller didn't beat us (despite your insistance on Miller Time...enough with that you freaks), they got 3 by him. They beat themselves with the help of Brodeur. And Perry allowing that empty netter is the single worst defensive play I've seen since...well, since the last Habs game I watched. But that's a bad example.

RiRi said...

Do we all agree that St-Louis and Stamkos would have been better than Perry/Getzlaf?

matt - fear the collapse said...

The Canadian Hockey team seems to choke more often than not. In 3 olympics with pros, "The Best Hockey Country" has won a whopping 1 medal. They also finished 4th and 7th...They are well on their way to choking all the way down to 5th or 6th once again.

P.S Start Luongo the rest of the way.

matt - fear the collapse said...

If I see Bergeron starting with Crosby and Nash again next game I am going to personally fly to Vancouver and punch Babcock.

Keep Iginla there and stick to it for fuck sakes.

Anonymous said...

When the fuck did Brodeur turn into Tim Thomas? Flopping all over the goddamn place.

LukieNussbaum11 said...

Nothing says CHANGE THE FUCKING CHANNEL like interviewing 5th place bobsledders with horse voices in front of a live screaming crowd. What are they thinking???

Number31 said...

Brodeur ate all the pies! You fat bastard! Frankly he's been playing like crap for the past few weeks of NHL, and his stupid road hockey style isn't helping. If he could hybrid himself and do some proper butterfly, two of those goals don't go in.

Perry should be ashamed of himself. Never seen a guy so disinterested in a puck with an empty net and an opposing player breathing down his neck like that. Pronger and Niederneither are just slow turnover machines. Wasn't Richards a scoring machine while shorthanded? Lame.

Stamkos/St Louis > Perry/Getzlaf

OMG the Ski Cross guys make me sad...

Yup. Whatever. At least the Bulldogs put the smackdown on the BabyFlyers (Who suck horribly. Matsumoto apparently got into the All-Star Game for having great hair and being King Invisible). Easiest shutout of Desjardins' life (a whole 16 shitty shots) and he almost fucked it up himself by trying to play the puck (best save of the game was done by his post). First time they've won at he Bell Center I think... Helps that it's the crappy Phantoms and not the fucking B-Sens. Shot of the night was the PYATT fan club (row of guys with his name spelled out on their shirts).

Looking good there Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir. We got some proper ice dancers.

GO SUOMI!

habsss said...

I'm just sick of losing. To the US. Ah at least the Habs ended the Caps streak. That'll keep me going for a while.

Number31 said...

OK, fine. Don't go, Suomi....

kevincrumbs said...

Brodeur was awful for you guys. You already knew that, though.

Kmaxx said...

You know what the worst part of this loss is? This makes fuckin' Brian Burke and fuckin' Ron Wilson look like a couple of fuckin' geniuses...which they are not. That was as bad a game as I've seen since...well since the last Habs game I guess...and who the fuck is Perry anyway!!! Jesus that was bad!

I live in the Uk so watched the BBC feed - their commentator summed it up with a basic sentiment that makes sense - "it was an all star team beating a team of all stars"

Chester said...

OMFG is she a cutie makes me wish I was twenty or thirty something again ...
Could somebody tell me why Chris Pronger is playing on this team ? OK I get the Miller thing we have seen this before with Buffalo. He stole one. He can do that. But he won't do that again .... right ??

boob gainey said...

Silver lining:

Mike Komisarek won't get a medal.

the Maritimer said...

Looks good on that fucking overated stiff Brodeur. Schadenfreude is a bitch.

Not to worry, lots of time to recover, after Babcock watches the game tape, Marty the fat bastard will be watching the rest of the way from the bench or the press box. Roberta Luongo will be in the rest of the way. A tune up against Germany then the Russkies. We'll see then if Team canada has what it takes.

Oh yeah, if they play against Miller again, guaranteed they pump at least 5 past the little bitch.

wv = ackme, as in: (f)ackme, I hope our curling teams win some gold...