Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Canadian Olympic Hottie of the Day and a Canada-Norway Preview and Open Thread

I am pleased to introduce you to Kimiko Zakreski. She is a Canadian snowboarder who competes in the parallel Giant Slalom, which goes on February 26th. She probably has no chance for a medal, but who gives a fuck? Look at her. I'm in love. Er, I mean as long as she does her best, we'll be proud of her.

We're also proud of yesterday's medalist, Mike Robertson, a silver in men's snowboard cross, the most kick-ass extreme sport ever to make it into the Olympics. Also let's highlight Erig Guay's 5th in the men's downhill. A quality result. A true Canadian enjoys a quality result. We are not proud of VANOC's inability to have a working zamboni. Fucking embarrassment for Canada if you ask us.

In "Habs around the Olympics" news, Big Tits will not play for Belarus despite rumours he might. Vodkov, on the other hand, is good to go for Russia, as you can see.

So at 7:30 EST this evening on CTV, our Canadian boys make their debut on the ice. They face the powerful and scary Norwegians. Ha. Norway is currently ranked 11th in the world. That's actually not too bad, but really, Norway? If there was actual speed skating involved maybe I'd be worried. Luongo is getting the start. Team Canada has beaten Norway 3 times in Olympic competition in the past.

Anyway, if you're so inclined, feel free to bring on the snark about Ryan Getzlaf's ankle and your fears about our all of a sudden very shaky goalies in the comments.

130 comments:

moeman said...

Go Canadian Pants!

bea.habs.fan said...

i watched the speed skating last night and RDS were the only one showing it at the time.

I'm happy to announce that P. Houde is just as fucking moronic for speed skating as for hockey.
Had to trun off the sound just to get rid of his inanities.

wonder who's commenting on CTV tonight?

LukeyNussbaum11 said...

Kimiko is on facebook. You can love her up close and personal with the rest of the world.

boob gainey said...

OK, let's be honest. Which players on Team Canada do you actually like?

I don't mean like in the sense that they are skilled players and you'd like them on your team. I mean ike as in respect their professionalism, their attitude, their verve, whatever.

Remember that most of those guys wouldn't play for a Canadian based team if they had the choice.

Moey said...

HF29,

A smattering of hot male Olympic athletes in the daily posts would be greatly appreciated by the fairer sex on this blog and by L. Dude's wife.

boob gainey said...

From Kimiko's website:

Favorite Food: Sushi and Perogies

Pretty hard to disagree with that.

Hadulf said...

That picture makes NO sense

(PS: FUCK BLOGGER)

L Dude said...

@29: Thanks. Should have guessed you guys were on it. Nice start to the HOAD. Wouldn't mind Kimikozi'in up to her...wink wink nudge nudge no what I mean.

Lovin' the Olympic Header (even though you've got a double 'the').

L Dude said...

edit: 'know' what I mean.

Habsfan10 said...

Go You Fucking Canadians Go!

@ Boob: Off the top of my head:

Niedemayer, Toews, Keith, Seabrook, Iginla, Nash, Staal, Weber, Bergeron and a bunch of others all seem to be good guys.

Pronger's an ass, but I'd have him on my team any day.

And while a bunch of people think Crosby's a whiny crybaby, I'd take him over any player on the planet right now.

moeman said...

Shouldn't FOUR HABS FANS be FOUR HABS FANS ?

Sleepy said...

I found myself watching NBC's olympic coverage last night. Here's a note to CTV; SHOW A FUCKING SPORT. Really I can't take much more of Scott Oake.

LukeyNussbaum11 said...

@sleepy
They TALK about a sport as it's happening instead of showing the sport. Gotta love the endless docudrama
about the dad and kid who are going to see Olympic hockey. That's about the biggest waste of filler I've ever seen. Oh other than the Tim Horton's commerials of course.

HabsFan29 said...

@L Dude - nice catch on The The (classic band!). We fixed it

Chester said...

They talk ad nausium about somebody's breakfast cereal and which ear you put the Q-tip in first ... meanwhile some mad fucking german is luging away or some fucking sport thing is actually happening. All you see is Brian Fucking Williams in the nice fireplace room talking. blaa blaa effin blaa

moeman said...

Lots of good info re CTV failing to qualify here.

LukeyNussbaum11 said...

Just once I want to see the guy spill the coffee on his wife that just got off the plane from some third world country. Oh admit it, it's getting on your nerves too.

moeman said...

Mardi Gras FHFers!

For the man-seeking Moey.

Chenny13 said...

In the spirit of fair play and international cooperation, I'd like to note that while our wonderful nation certainly has some talent, so do our friends south of the border.

Flying Toaster said...

Really, i think the "bitching" at the lack of french is reasonable. I don't think any sensible journalist is expecting everyone over in Vancouver to speak french. Most of them are pointing out the fact that this is an olympic event, and french is supposed to be one of the olympic languages... And apparently they can't find a single volunteer/employee who speaks even a modicum of french. I don't think it's exagerated to be dissapointed that the olympic comitee didn't try to get a little more french presence than the announcer. What REALLY irks me are the conspiracy-theorists over on CKAC who think Markov ditched the team just to play with Russia... I think they might forget that Montreal has these medical-types that look at the players and clears them to play or not...

bea.habs.fan said...

@ Moeman.

pretty sure that was not what was menat by male Olympic hotties.
alhtough I'm sure the guy got a gold medal for most colorful collection of necklaces.

moeman said...

@bea, kinda looks like an Olympian Lloyd Robertson. Non?

cottoneye said...

@ Boob:

Toews and Iginla are two of my favorite players in all of hockey. I like them so much, I wanna take them behind a middle school and get them pregnant.

Chester said...

@ Flying Toaster,

Nice to hear a moderate make a comment about the lack of french thing. Most Vancouverians couldn't give a flying fuck about anything french. It's not that they snubbed the Pure Firs it's just that it doesn't appear on their radar. Besides being that close to the Pacific Ocean makes you a little drifty ... see California, Repulic of.

LukeyNussbaum11 said...

I think it's cool to be a country with two languages but the games are in Vancouver and the first language of Canada is English. And I'm sure in Vancouver Chinese is spoken more than French. When Levesque was king of the olympics in '76 did they speak English or French? I wonder.

On another note WTF does the President's Choice commercial mean?? "we feed our athletes blue line products...if it helps them win some races this season we'll take some credit but not too much. After all we are Canadian." Huh? Who writes that?

Boob Gainey said...

The first language of Canada is English?

HabsFan29 said...

im pretty sure Canada'a first language was Inuit, or Iroquois, or Huron or something like that

LukeyNussbaum11 said...

@Boob
It was joking

Another joke? Athletes eating McDonalds.
And I no longer want to be a speed skater, I'd like to take up shooting a rifle. I already skate ski so I just need the gun.

Habsfan10 said...

If the Molson commercials are any barometer, our first language is "awesomeness".

Robbie said...

I tried to find someone in Vancouver who actually speaks Iroquois. NO FUCKING LUCK! But i had no trouble getting an egg roll and some Won Ton soup. I bet there are some pissed off Indians at the Olympics. We better secure the bridges, remove all the wood pallets and beat up broken down cars from Vancouver cause bridge blocking and bond fires is on the agenda. I think.

But in all seriousness unless you live in Manitoba, Edmonton or Northern (and i mean Northern) BC or you haven't been over the Pont Mercier to get your discounted (wink) smokes or play Bingo you probably have not seen an Aboriginal person in years (not knowingly anyways cause the bloodlines are all fucked up). So you can appreciate the 5 or so million French Canadians who while watching the Opening Cermonies might have thought Canada had turned into the Australian outback. No shit i can just see the fucking American retard sitting in his living room watching the ceremonies and planning his vacation with his wife. ''Geezzzzz dear we need to get us up to Can...ada and see some of them In....dians. Never realized there was that many of them up there. Must be like the wild wild west!''

@ Boob; Iginla, Brodeur, Nash, Towes for starters.

Are you actually surprised about the Zamboni. I mean common there are only about 10,000 of those things in operation in Canada and you know good Zamboni mechanics are hard to find. Besides no one wants to work the Olympics the pay is crap!

If i see one more of those Hallmark moments on CTV, TSN or RDS i'm going to be ill. The only thing missing now is a ballad by Celine Dion in one of them and it will be ''fait accompli''.

OH yeah GO FUCKING CANADA!

David Wilkie's Ghost said...

@Lukey
I'm with you on the President's Choice ads. Someone should tell Galen Loblaw or whatever his name is that if you're bragging about how modest you are then you aren't actually modest.

Boob Gainey said...

They didn't use a Zamboni. They used a lesser brand.


The foreign press are already making fun of us for not being able to clear the ice.

Hey it's Vancouver - they don't have ice.

LukeyNussbaum11 said...

I think the whole zamboni thing is hilarious. It goes perfectly with the commercial "don't forget who's game it is they're playing".

@David
He says "I don't want to brag because I'm Canadian"? Or he brags and then stops because he's a Canadian? Or maybe he's just high on the MSG in blue menu food products.

J.T. said...

I lost all hope CTV's coverage will improve when I saw these two abrasive, fake-bubbly talking heads mortifying Elvis Stojko by making him rank last night's pairs skating falls as gold, silver or bronze. Stojko looked like he wanted to smack the two of them.

Oh, and did anyone catch the Norwegian men's curlers' pants? Holy crap, who dressed them?!

kevincrumbs said...

Can't watch the Olympics because NBC's coverage is so horrendous. I live in the same fucking time zone but the only events I've actually seen live are the women's hockey blowouts, which is fucking ridiculous.

They did pick a horrible year weather wise, though. Six hours south of Vancouver and the whole month of January didn't involve a single moment where it dropped below 40F/4.5C

Le Douze said...

Hey, guys, the zabonis are GREEN zambonis, so you shouldn't expect that they would actually work.

LukeyNussbaum11 said...

@JT
That was my next post! The Norwegian curlers look like clowns. Maybe it's their 100th anniversary commemorative pants.

moeman said...

1-0 Boo-S-A! v. Swiss Misters.

LukeyNussbaum11 said...

From Stubbs tweet. Pretty funny.
IKEA product or Swedish Olympian?

moeman said...

2-0 Merkans.

moeman said...

Make that 3-0.

Boob Gainey said...

Apparently the biathlon is a shambles today. They can't get the starting times straight.

A city more known for its pot smoking than its winter weather.

Not an ideal candidate to organize the winter games?

moeman said...

heh@Boob, even the rain-soaked gretzky looked kinda mushroomy.

bea.habs.fan said...

am excited about the hockey but am worried that blowouts will beboring to watch.
i feel sorry for Norway where hockey is as off the radar as it is in the South

impressive that they actually have enouhg players for a team but then most probably play on the Swedish league so they may not be as big a pushover as I htink.

hummm
maybe I'll actually watch hockey tonite

Moey said...

@moeman,

Re: pic, there are no words.

I haven't watched any Olympics yet, not even the opening ceremony. Truth be told, I couldn't be arsed. Does that make me a bad Canadian? Oh well.

Bring on Team Canada.

moeman said...

You are welcome Moey.

hfotwc said...

maelle ricker, yo baby!!!!!!!

moeman said...

Gold ! ! !

hfotwc said...

gold is right!
local canadian girl kicks ass!!!!
bring on the bc bud!!!

moeman said...

Gorgeous gal, gorgeous win!
29 has an easy pick for a pic for tomorrow morning's thread.

Congrats Maëlle!

LukeyNussbaum11 said...

Finally something worthwhile in the Canada bragfest. Michael J. Fox taking shots on net on an outdoor rink. Skating, speaking and looking 18.

Love the silver and bronze medalists encouraging the crowd to go nuts for Mäelle.

Boob Gainey said...

Snowboarders are definitely the coolest Olympians. Or at any rate truest to the spirit of the games.

hfotwc said...

@Boob, sunny and 15 degrees. Yeah we're getting baked in the sun today. jealous?

Canadian Girls Rock!!!!

moeman said...

Canadian Babe (who has a sweet BC'd French accent).

Moey said...

We're getting McSplooged tonight. Crap.

moeman said...

Moey, don't offer pierre any beads.

HabsFan29 said...

so i have to suffer through McSplooge in the booth and Kypreos in the intermission?? kill me

HabsFan29 said...

norwegian jerseys remind me of the throwback Habs whites

moeman said...

29, to make matters worse, we have dave 'hack' hodge to listen to.

HabsFan29 said...

Go Sharks! er, Go Canada

HabsFan29 said...

we need a McSplooge tracker or something for the whole Olympics. count how many times he mcsplooges on a Canadian player. over/under should be what, 300?

moeman said...

Is JM coaching?

HabsFan29 said...

heh @ moe. the style of play is eerily similar

Moey said...

For the love of God, can somebody give that all knowing McSplooge a hockey team to manage/coach. While he's off destroying it and running it into the ground, we'd be spared his never ending shite.

moeman said...

magwire is a bitter ex-NHL 'coach'. He never got a sniff since taking Hartford to, what did he take the Whalers to?

moeman said...

Norgeian save!

LukeyNussbaum11 said...

GG15 year old...er, I mean Nussbaum15:
"it's like watching the international habs"

Moey said...

@moeman,

His illustrious coaching career with the Whalers yielded 23-37-7. He was replaced mid season. Fucktard.

moeman said...

Didn't magwire make a huge difference in ASSistant-coaching the Pens to some Stanley Cups?

HabsFan29 said...

i thought this was supposed to be a Canadian team that could score

HabsFan29 said...

@moe - so he claims

moeman said...

Luongo coulda gone snowboarding and no one woulda noticed.

moeman said...

Tonight's international (its a theme bitCHes) drink is Campari (a fave of mine).

On da rocks.

or

With orange juce.

or


With cranberry juice.

moeman said...

Sid da Canadian Kid looks like he's 18. When is it again that he can become a Hab?

LukeyNussbaum11 said...

Dumbest line of the olympics so far:
"Canada has gone 6 periods without a goal". Hello? That was a different team 4 YEARS AGO!! Am I missing something?

moeman said...

LN11, you are missing out only if you aren't drinking.

CTV/TSN/SN/RDS/V have been beyond amateurish in their broadcast/commentary.

Number31 said...

All the ads.
All the hype.
All the annoyance.
All the arrogance.
All the McSplooging.

uh... GO NORWAY! They're so cute. But I'm upset their socks don't look like those curling pants.

Anyone else noticed that through all the hockey talk on tv/radio, and NO ONE has mentioned the thought that Kipper and the rest of Team Finland could maybe fuck someone's medal hopes over?

moeman said...

Nice post N31, most of the teevee'rs have zero clue that there are other teams/atheletes. Its like they are un-prepared. Go figure.

Moey said...

31,

If anyone is going to fuck someone's medal hopes, I want it to be Finland. For obvious reasons of course.

The only team I don't want to see win gold is USA. For obvious reasons of course.

moeman said...

There we go. Iggs.

Heh, the Olé song ....

HabsFan29 said...

about goddamn time

Number31 said...

Oleeee ole ole oleeeee~

moeman said...

heh, the Norwegian fans are chanting 'cujo'.

LukeyNussbaum11 said...

@Moe
The nussbaum boys have hijacked the remote and refuse to put on RDS! Not enough to drink in my house to listen to the ctv idiots.

moeman said...

Love the Stevie Y. edict, 'shave the face boys', you iz representin'.

HabsFan29 said...

heater!

moeman said...

2-0.

I think mcsplooge coached them on that goal.

chris nilan said...

iginla, crosby, nash.

not a bad line

hfotwc said...

this really hurts, but I have to say it; nice shot Pronger

moeman said...

Lovin' the superbly tanned Lemaire behind the bench.

WV = refer, as in dem Vancouverites sure love dat refer, NTTIAWWT

Number31 said...

There's only one player on Team Canada I like and it's Jonathan Captain Serious Toews.

Anyone see the hilarious Blackhawks Olympics? Canada owns at popsicle eating.

Moey said...

@moeman,

I spat out my wine on that one.

moeman said...

Sorry about the spillage Moey, hopefully you were able to lick the Merlot from your screen (that last part was for da FHF boys)

moeman said...

Sweet, Lu.

hfotwc said...

Ross Rebagliati: "it was second hand inhaling"

Georges Bush; "I only put my lips on it"

moeman said...

There ya go, 3-0.

Number31 said...

Uh oh. Richards scored. McSplooge will need a tissue.

moeman said...

Anytime someone pisses on Habs fans for singing the 'Euro/soccer' Olé song, I will have the VAN2010 Olympics to shove up their whazoos., especially a Euro-leftcoast-Habs hater like say don cherry ... and how refreshing to not see him at these Games!

bea.habs.fan said...

@ Moe thank God - there's enough crappy commentors as it is

RiRi said...

So this is what talented players look like, huh? Very interesting. Sigh.

That said, GO CANADA GO!!!

hfotwc said...

31, i"m surprise we haven't heard you giving Maelle a big fuck YEAH!!!!

Moey said...

At work we had the option of getting our pictures taken with the Olympic torch. I would have done it on one condition, that I could set my boss on fire with it. They didn't go for it.

moeman said...

@ hfotwc, that'll be 29, tomorrow.

Maëlle, looks, sounds and skis with beauty.

hfotwc said...

Louuuuuuuuuuu!

LukeyNussbaum11 said...

@Moey
That is hilarious.

moeman said...

Getz da last Laf.

hfotwc said...

now that's more like it boys!!!

sorry Moe, but snowboarders rides

hfotwc said...

ride

hfotwc said...

Mc Sloopge: "full frontal assault"

And another BUUUT!

moeman said...

Thanks for the correction hfotwc, I knew I erred when I clicked publish. Regardless Maëlle is a board babe.

moeman said...

6

Moey said...

@hfotwc,

He also gets really excited when players are playing "down low."

hfotwc said...

This is the way things are suppose to be

Number31 said...

@hfotwc I gave Maëlle the YEAAAAAAAH on twitter. Sorry must have forgotten to do the same here =p (I was at work listening live when she got gold).

moeman said...

8

hfotwc said...

Fuck Yeah 8-0!
Iggy hat trick, fuck'n eh!

Maelle, BC homegrown.

Go Canada Go!!!!

boob gainey said...

McGuire wants to take over as the old Queen of Canadian hockey after Don Cherry retires.

moeman said...

magwired is pathetic

moeman said...

Well played win.

Cannot wait to see Maëlle get her GOLD! medal!!!

hfotwc said...

Maelle, smart & funny, and she taught that winning an Olympic medal was the coolest thing in the world when she grew up. Well sweetheart, now you are the coolest chick in the world.

Number31 said...

Oh lord. Am I going to be able to stay awake to watch the Russians at midnight? Time for a nap!

b said...

Any swimsuit prospects in women's hockey?

RiRi said...

Anyone know where I can watch the Russia game?

hfotwc said...

I can't believe the Russian are still wearing those ugly Nike(tm.)uniforms.

Maelle rocks
Go Canada Go

Number31 said...

"Semin couldn't unload." Bravo CTV.

hfotwc said...

and that wasn't pee air?

h said...

the Russians are pretty good

Number31 said...

The Red Army sings!

Number31 said...

The Latvian that just scored, his name sounds like "Action Pants".

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