Sunday, February 07, 2010

Habs vs. Bruins vs. Colts vs. Saints preview and open thread

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL??? And, uh, hockey? Don't forget the hockey. Enough talk, let's get to the coin toss already.

Jim Nantz' professionalism is all in the details - 3 PM start at the Bell. You'd think 2 PM would be better to give everyone a chance to get home and have a good hour to get drunk before kickoff. Habs on a 3-game win streak. Really? (checks) Really. Bs on a 10-game losing streak. Really? (checks) Really. Habs are 3-0 against the Bs so far this year, including the shootout win just the other night in Beantown.

The Saints Rants and 18 to 88 of the hockey game - Oh Cornelius, why didst though forsake us Thursday? Maybe the guys at The Big Bad Bruins can show their faces today.

Hot like the chili you're making for your Super Bowl party - And lo, the children shall lead them. Desharnais! White! That other Hamilton guy! And that other one! Let's see if they can bring it again. Props to the Giant Mexican Pleks who seem to be rising to the occasion of bearing the scoring load. For the Bs, well, a ten game losing streak doesn't give much hotness, though Savard has a point per game over his last 5, and Tuukka Rask is playing better even though the Bs keep losing.

Cold like the crushed ice in a hurricane they'll be drinking in New Orleans to celebrate - The Faceoff preview actually lists no cold Habs except for TFS. Okay then. For the Bs, Satan pointless in 7 and Lucic pointless in 4.

In the trainer's room with Dwight Freeney - Squid, Big Tits and CHicken are our 3 best wingers and are all out. Who needs wingers anyway? Mara still out, and now the Urologist seems to be gone for who knows how long too. Your starting goalie is... [checks Stubbs' Twitter]... [checks Stubbs' Twitter]... [checks Stubbs' Twitter] unknown as of this writing.

All-day adult entertainment - Many galleries of SB XLIV cheerleaders and Saints and Colts babes.

All hockey and football comments welcome. And chili recipes.

108 comments:

GoldenGirl11 said...

I think they should trade Satan to the Devils.

Number31 said...

I think the Devils should have SIGNED Satan in the first place. Way to miss the golden opportunity to move some awesome merchandising, Lou!

He could be the mascot too. They kind of look the same...

I'm supposed to go play ball hockey not as a goalie in the middle of nowhere Park-Ex but my friend has disappeared off the face of the Earth so I'm not leaving until she calls back. My friends rock at organizing things -_-

moeman said...

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

~~~

Also, whilst making your CHipotle-based CHili add a dollop of peanut butter, a chunk of dark CHocolate, a spoonful of instant CHoffee and a dash of CHinnamon.

RiRi said...

I still can`t believe the Bulldogs the Pens!

Go Dogs Go!
Go Saints!

Sheriff25 said...

GO HABS GO!!! I'm just going to cheer for the winning team.

Word verif: smacesse
Jaro loves it when football players smacesse after a TD

RiRi said...

Oops. *beat* the Pens.

hfotwc said...

Just found out BR has a new singing career, joining Mitsou on top of the charts!

http://tinypic.com/player.php?v=2j1u8tf&s=4&tag=hockey&hid=16

L Dude said...

Happy Superbowl Sunday all you FHF Fuckers! It's high noon (for you EST people) and time to start drinking, watching sports for about 80 hours and oozing testosterone. Starting with Caps vs Pens right fucking now. Chili's chiliing, beer's chilling outside and I've got more chips, nachos, cheeze doodles than I can imagine.
RIGHT on CUE. There's the doorbell. My ugly hairy-assed friends (i imagine) are starting to arrive.
You all have a safe and happy testosterone filled day. Even you fine FHF ladies, no, ESPECIALLY you fine FHF ladies.

HabsFan29 said...

can't decide which is more annoying on TV right now - Chris Berman's tie or McSplooge's voice

hfotwc said...

nice goal sid!

L Dude said...

@29: Lovin' Bermin's tie! McSplooge hands down. Me and the first couple of guys to arrive are starting a McSplooge drinking game. There's been lots posted before on the interwebs. We're just basically drinking when he spurts one of his well known phrases - big body hockey is the one that makes me want to drink a lot.

RiRi said...

Jaro it is!

Jaybird said...

Anyone else realize how much of a hurt we can put our rival Bruins in with a win today? This one's BIG....

L Dude said...

Back to Berman's tie. Is it just me and the drink, or do certain colours 'buzz' on your TV's?

@Jaybird: I was thinking the same thing. A victory and those fucking games in hand teams seem to have had on us since October are gone. I agree. This is a big game.

Number31 said...

There should be a law against having Milbury and McSplooge behind the same desk.

Also I think the Caps need a little Darche Vader to piss off Fleury. Who exactly had an hour of sleep in this game, hmmmmmm?

Moey said...

No chili cooking at my house today, veal stew with shitake mushrooms is simmering in the crockpot.

I'm not a football fan, but go Saints!

I'm not a Caps fan so go Pens!

Gawd, does McSplooge ever stop waffling on? *sigh*

Awww fuck, Ovie scored.

hfotwc said...

as if ovi was gonna miss this.
and now McSplooge is McSplooging

kevincrumbs said...

I don't feel well about this game, especially since the fucker Bruins have lost 47000 games in a row. I predict a 3-0 shutout for them.

I feel like Boone with the reverse jinx.

As for the Super Bowl... GO PANTS!

Number31 said...

I think the inside of my TV screen is covered in spittle.

Hate chili, I might make some Chinese stew though.

boob gainey said...

Chili's on the stove. Here's what I put in it:

pork, beef, chipotle, half a bottle of Frank's red hot, Bottle of LaChouffe beer, 2 cups of espresso, black beans, tomato, spices.

Now off to the Bell Ctr. to catch the game.

VTHABSFAN said...

i'm with 31 on the chili thing. Making some Vietnamese Hot and Sour soup. Could there be anything more disgusting than the concept of Fish Sauce? I mean really, you don't even have to refrigerate the stuff.

As for tonight I've got ten pounds of chicken wings, three gallons of peanut oil, and an outdoor fryer to cook it in. Big ass bottle of Franks Hot Sauce and some Habanero, Soy Vey Terriyaki (jew met Korean and make sweet prefab sauce love), also plenty of blue cheese dressing, carrots, and celery.
Tomorrow may be painful.

Number31 said...

This Caps/Pens game has turned into Thunderdome. TWO TEAMS ENTER, ONE TEAM LEAVES!

Now they just need some chainsaws and electric boards. Master Blaster = Pierre McGuire will hop onto Boudreau's shoulders. You know he wants to.

kevincrumbs said...

I'm making turkey chili, which suits someone who lives in uber-liberal organic bike riding land of Oregon.

Probably drinking a combination of local craft beer (Rogue) and crappy watered down Asian beer (Taiwan Beer & Hite).

@Moey: Your food sounds amazing!

@Number31: Please tell me Chinese stew is Pate Chinois in stew form.

Number31 said...

@kevincrumbs - Ew no. I hate that crap. Got the recipe from mom's old Second Helpings cookbook (there isn't a Jewish family around without this book).

- 2 1/2lb stewing beef in seasoned flour
- 3 tbsp oil
- 1 jar dry garlic sparerib sauce
- 3 tbsp brown sugar
- I hate onions so I skip that
- Green peppers cut in chunks
- Hamster ate all my celery so that's out

Brown seasoned meat in oil. Add sauce and sugar, cover and cook for 2 1/2 hours. Add veggies and cook 10 more minutes. Serve on fluffy steamed rice. Delicious.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@31
Second Helpings was actually handed down to Moses with the ten commandments. True story.

Honor your father and mother
You shall not murder
You shall use vegetable salsas to spice up meats dishes
You shall not commit adultery

hfotwc said...

Ovie is making penguins chili

@kc, looks delicious, where do you find the receipe. Sure beats the tofu chili the hippies make around here

kevincrumbs said...

@Number31: As the token Chinese person, I fail to see what's Chinese about it (like Pate Chinois) but I do see the deliciousness. I might have to throw that together some time.

@hfotwc: I found the recipe here. Probably the fourth or fifth time I've used the recipe.

Number31 said...

@kevincrumbs
I don't think there's anything Chinese about it except maybe the rice and supposed rib sauce.

moeman said...

When the Habs and Saints go marCHing in

We Habs fans travel in the footsteps
Of those who've CHeered before
And we're all here reunited
While Cornelius dreams of Eddie Shore

Oh when the Habs go marCHing in
And then the Saints go marCHing in
Oh LDude I need some of those doodles
When the Habs and Saints go marCHing in

And when Jaro begins to shine
And when Drew Brees begins to shine
Oh Moey I want to peek in your crockpot
When the Habs and Saints go marCHing in

When the Bs mood turns red with blood
When New Orleans parties after the flood
Oh 29 I use to wear that number
When the Habs and Saints go marCHing in

On this hallelujah Sunday
On this hallelujah Sunday
Oh GG I want to be in that picture
When the Habs and Saints go marCHing in

Oh when the siren sounds the Bs will fall
Oh when those lovely beads means tits for all
Oh FH lawyers I want to be free of the libel
When the Habs and Saints go marCHing in

Some say this team of trouble
Is the only one we need
But I'm waiting for next morning
When the new standings are revealed

When Bob Gainey's revolution comes
When Guy BouCHer revelations come
Oh N31 I want to see that bandana
When the Habs and Saints go marCHing in

When rich Gomez comes out and works
When Reggie Bush comes out and works
kc and boob I want some of that CHili
When the Habs and Saints go marCHing in

When the air is pure and clean
Means Beantown poohs are nowhere to be seen
Go Habs Go! so far you've got their number
When the Habs and Saints go marCHing in

When we all have food to eat
When we all have beer to drink
Oh FHFers 6 hours of indulgence
In your pants you won't be fitting in

Oh lord let's ALL be in that number
When the Habs and Saints go marCHing in

Number31 said...

Carbo's tie looks about as ugly as that lucky tie he used to wear.

Baroque said...

@ moeman -

Do you not have a job, or is your talent such that you can knock out these song parodies in record time?

hfotwc said...

which is worst pj suck or brenny buny

Baroque said...

PJ.

moeman said...

@Baroque, both Bud. Just need inspiration and the gang here provides enough for a double-set.

Baroque said...

Either way, it's impressive. :)

hfotwc said...

GO HABS GO

HabsFan29 said...

Geaux Pantalons

Number31 said...

This Kaiser guy is more operatic but I think they should just play the video of Mr. Doucet <3

moeman said...

+un bon temps for HF29.

moeman said...

ack craig brunet is back.

HabsFan29 said...

so many numbers in the 50's on the bench. it's a linebacking corps

Baroque said...

Is Brunet on RDS or CBC?

(I only have CBC.)

Number31 said...

52, 53, 58, 59 HUT!

HabsFan29 said...

Baroque he's on RDS. i cant even imagine the nightmare if he was on in english

hfotwc said...

@29 one might think he's pj suck

Baroque said...

Then I am spared his horribleness. Too bad - I'm a little curious to hear what a train wreck he is.

Number31 said...

Someone should tell CBC that Trotter and Desharnais were never on the same line together with the Bulldogs, but they'll just toss that fact around 'cause it makes them look smart.

hfotwc said...

allez les culottes

kevincrumbs said...

@Number31: Don't worry, NESN guys saying the same thing.

moeman said...

@Baroque, I was kidding around yesterday that simpson sounded like an anglo brunet.

Baroque said...

Simpson?

Ack!

:)

HabsFan29 said...

shortest. fight. ever.

kevincrumbs said...

Lame fight... Wheeler loses his balance.

moeman said...

'unlikely candidate', um dats cuz cbc/hnic doesn't do too many games.

kevincrumbs said...

Oh, NESN, your idiocy never surprises me. Jack Edwards, STFU and die.

moeman said...

kc, context, we need context.

HabsFan29 said...

2 sharp goalies

kevincrumbs said...

@moeman: Stupid bullshit about Rhino and how he didn't throw a punch during the fight and they also just accused Gorges of diving while racing for the puck behind Jaro's net.

Baroque said...

It's hard to throw a punch when the other guy is falling over, though.

kevincrumbs said...

Jaro's wandering too much... lack of offensive zone pressure for about half the period by the Habs.

@Baroque: Exactly, which is why it's another example of the mouth diarrhea that Jack Edwards and Andy Brickley are inflicted with.

HabsFan29 said...

crap

kevincrumbs said...

Not surprised. Habs look like shit after starting decently.

Baroque said...

Off the post? I heard a ping.

Baroque said...

His first NHL goal.

How sweet. :(

hfotwc said...

"the break the bruins needed" fuck you Hudson

HabsFan29 said...

frak

kevincrumbs said...

Jesus Christ. Bruins deserve nothing less since the Habs can't fucking get the fucking puck out of their fucking zone.

Baroque said...

//sigh

hfotwc said...

maudit criss de calisse de tabarnac

moeman said...

Not sure why the Habs seem sluggish. Crank it up boys. Maybe BouCHer can call the dressing room.

Baroque said...

Ryan White looks like he's about ten years old.

hfotwc said...

pj suck must be wetting his panties

Number31 said...

It's the Bruins' fault. They crashed my computer. They're also playing the ever popular snoozefest "road game" crap that Jacques is falling for. RUN EM OVER!

Metro will score.

moeman said...

Did MOEmaN pop a Bs shoulder?

Number31 said...

Jaro needs to spend some time learning the finer points of puckhandling from Carey if he wants to play it that much.

moeman said...

Boom!Bam!Pow!

Anonymous said...

Managed to delay the cjad feed so I don't have to listen to jack edwards. Result!
WV:mantar
That may be what you lot will be producing tomorrow after all that chilli.

kevincrumbs said...

Jack Edwards giving Mike Knuble a blow job right now.

Number31 said...

Oh look, Jaro's douchebag agent.

Baroque said...

"Sitting on a park bench" must be one of the dumbest phrases ever.

I have never seen frozen pucks flying at people sitting on a park bench.

kevincrumbs said...

Rask is a rebound machine but too bad there are never any Habs around.

kevincrumbs said...

NESN accusing Pleks of a dive. If I won the lottery, I'd fly to Boston to punch Jack Edwards in the face.

Baroque said...

That was a stupid comment.

Chara is nine feet tall. EVERY forward is a smaller forward to him.

Baroque said...

CBC pointed out that Morris was upset because he thought that Pleks fell down, but then pointed out that the reason he fell was because he was hooked behind the knee.

Jaybird said...

Goal, please.

Jaybird said...

Why do I bench solid goalies against the Habs after a few victories in my fantasy pools.

Feel like a tool right now. Rask is amazing. Why do the Habs think one shot beats the guy the only way to beat him is rebounds.

kevincrumbs said...

How does that hit from behind on White not get called for a penalty?

Number31 said...

Bruins got 5 goalies. Need a hedge clipper.

Baroque said...

Did the fourth line do something wrong that they have hardly played this period?

I didn't seen any egregious errors.

kevincrumbs said...

Russian prostitutes killed Tuukka Rask and replaced him with Martin Brodeur.

Baroque said...

seen = see

I speak English better than that. :)

Number31 said...

Fuck I hate Glenn Healy.

Baroque said...

This Rask guy is pretty good.

moeman said...

Shit happens. Go Saints.

Number31 said...

Bif. Pow. Whack.

Baroque said...

//heavy sigh

:(

hfotwc said...

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

Baroque said...

Shutout for Tuuka Rask and the Boston Bruins end their longest losing streak since Calvin Coolidge was president.

Number31 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Number31 said...

Jaro Halak, welcome to Price's world.

Sheriff25 said...

THANK FUCKING CHRIST

Number31 said...

Alert! Alert! Jacques Martin has corrupted our Bulldogs. Time to send them back to Boucher for immediate correction before Wednesday's game!

Ronan said...

So lemme get this straight... The Count thinks so little of the Dogs that he puts them on the ice for 6-7 minutes all game, yet Desharnais, who has yet to score an NHL point, gets PP time. Meanwhile, Sergei has been playing comfortably on the first line and been killing penalties, yet even with Squid, Poule, and Big Tits out, he can't buy shift on the PP?

(yes, that is what I chose to take out of today's game)

Number31 said...

No Ronan, you're right. It's something I've been yelling at my tv for months now. And everyone BUT Coach Martini knows that Sergei has a wicked slapshot from the point. He only made his living there in junior, AHL, pre-Martin NHL.........

habsss said...

Don't know if anyone else had to watch the Caps/Pens game on NBC but I know at one point they stated that Washington DC was a real hockey town...but they still weren't as crappy as the NESN guys. I miss RDS. Even Benoit.

hfotwc said...

you miss brenoit bunette! you like incomprehensible incomplete gable sentences? must be really bad.
on a semi intelligent note the football game score must put some people in a better mood around here

Number31 said...

Last time I was in DC I saw one Ovie shirt. Dat's some hockey town, NBC...

But I don't know what's worse: NBC with the space-time continuum being destroyed by the pairing of McSplooge and Milbury, CBC full of angry goalies killed by the Habs/ex-Bruins/pro-Leafers, or RDS with the incomprehensible gabble of Brunet and the pure woolian spittle from the 3 stooges. And then there's the sleepy hypnotic tones of CJAD.

Wish the Bulldog's play-by-play guy can call our games. He rocked that Buffalo/Vancouver game.

gillis said...

I think the habs should try an onside kick at the start of their next game.