Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Does The Goat Know When To Hold 'Em?

Gauthier certainly didn't fold 'em when it came to getting the Habs (young) man at the draft, giving up two rolls of the dice for only one.

So how's about this Jarred Tinordi dude? Son of Mark. 18 years young and already a whopping six inches above six feet. Down in Fort Worth, they call that big.

Junior was rated as a late first rounder/early second rounder in most final pre-draft rankings, and went as high as 18 in one mock draft. So this was hardly a stretch for The Goat or, more precisely, his main drafting man Monsieur Timmons. Still, if any of the following names means something in a few years, lets just agree that they'll be lots 'o blog space devoted to it: Pysyk, Petrovic, Merrill, Faulk, Johns - and that's just among potential star backenders.

Let's face it, based on Habs history it's more likely Mr. One Hundred and Seventeenth Overall Morgan Ellis will have an impact at the NHL level. Just look at this house full of late rounders:

Only one (traitor) first rounder among them, and 3 drafted after at least 161 other kids. (I'll let you guys have fun figuring out all these guys. I know, I know - naming the King is gonna be tough.)

In the other hand, we have a fistful of first round jokers:

In case you need a refresher on these much-less-than-fab five, the big bust list reads like this: Bilodeau, Yemelin, Brown, Fischer and Wilke. Okay, Comrade Alexei was a third rounder, but how 'bout 1988's Eric Charron instead? No? 130 NHL games too impressive? Okay, how about this for up-my-sleeve: Robin Sadler, 1975. First round. Number None Nine overall. Exactly zero NHL games.

The Goat gave up 27 plus 57 for 22. I'm no Newton, but that sounds like bad math. But it's not about math, it is about what hand Habs fans have been dealt in Junior, and - especially those like this guy who largely just criticise other people's mistakes - the guys that the Habs could have had instead. (The 'Yotes got a hardly-needed project goalie and a smallish potential third round Swede centre - a description that has a real familiar ring to it. Seemingly unlikely nightmare scenarios for the Habs, but impossible is nothing - or maybe I'm a sucker for large-shoe-company propaganda.)

If Junior lives up to his height and isn't a goddam traitor in seven seasons or so, let me be the first to blog thusly:

Nice Job, Goat! Well done, Trevy TM!!

If Alex Petrovic plugs Pleks in the playoffs or Jon Merrill goes top shelf on TFS in a few years, consider this the first installment in a long series of paragraphs that all ought to go along the same lines:

You suck at drafting even worse than at trading or at life in general, you Goat. You should have fired that bum Timmins the second you got hired, you know when you canned those other talentless scouts. No, actually, YOU should be fired/never had been hired. Did I mention you suck, you Goat? I hate you as a person although I've never met you. YOU SUCK.

And the difference in those 1000 words (more or less) can be summed up by one brilliant GG11 picture:


HabsFan29 said...

I'll bookmark this post so we can use those quotes against you or in praise of you in a couple of years Panger

GoldenGirl11 said...

Hats off to all the goyim out there who keep their kids home all summer. Just in awe.

Habsfan10 said...

To be fair to the Goat and Timmins, I think they are only responsible for David Fischer in those crap picks.

Although they are still on the fucking hook for Big Tits over a dozen all-stars in 2003, so fuck em. Forget being fair.

mr trivia said...

GG11 - awesome photoshops the past couple days/forever.

i'll only be happy if jarred ti'nordiques becomes a carbon copy (minus the ugly douchiness) of chara.

tinordi bruisin' and pk cruisin'?

i hope that the roster we have today ain't the one we've got going into the 2010-2011 season. why'd we get so far in the playoffs? goaltending. why did we get eliminated? we couldn't score.

so we traded a goaltender and didn't add any secondary scoring.

hmmmm, okay.

waiting for the other shoe to drop.
please, please drop.

moeman said...

Some FHFun back2back posts and GG the Nekkid Sergei pic is classic. Whilst using the iPhone, I pinCHed and zoomed the image and when you look just passed the pasties low and behold its the word CHaperone. How à propos. Also, Small Tits sure has a small package, NTTIAWWT.

moeman said...

... and a fun song I think suits the latest CH news;

GoldenGirl11 said...

Thanks. I think the Predator ate his package. And to familiarize yourself with the characters, Ellis is the guy in the background enjoying Country Sergei or Naked Little Tits as he will be naked without AK until they meet again in the KHL.

moeman said...

GG, saw Ellis looking over the gal's shoulder and Boyd on the big screen. Pasties are so not Montréal. Naked Little Tits ain't gonna like the danseuses down there.

Moey said...

The tits were never the same after gang bang left.

Steve said...

Fuck you HFF33, I dont have a fucking clue who these people are, they could be al queda, yeah who is going to check, well I figured out PFK, so thanks, who is the ace of hearts, is it Doug Wickenhiser?

ezzeloharr said...

Leafs just picked up Versteeg for a few prospects... Should we be scared?

kevincrumbs said...

Ugh... fucking Leafs got Versteeg. Not sure if scared is the word but it depends on what they do tomorrow, I guess.

Gui! for $2.5 million a year really makes our guys seem overpaid.