Does The Goat Know When To Hold 'Em?

Gauthier certainly didn't fold 'em when it came to getting the Habs (young) man at the draft, giving up two rolls of the dice for only one.

So how's about this Jarred Tinordi dude? Son of Mark. 18 years young and already a whopping six inches above six feet. Down in Fort Worth, they call that big.

Junior was rated as a late first rounder/early second rounder in most final pre-draft rankings, and went as high as 18 in one mock draft. So this was hardly a stretch for The Goat or, more precisely, his main drafting man Monsieur Timmons. Still, if any of the following names means something in a few years, lets just agree that they'll be lots 'o blog space devoted to it: Pysyk, Petrovic, Merrill, Faulk, Johns - and that's just among potential star backenders.

Let's face it, based on Habs history it's more likely Mr. One Hundred and Seventeenth Overall Morgan Ellis will have an impact at the NHL level. Just look at this house full of late rounders:


Only one (traitor) first rounder among them, and 3 drafted after at least 161 other kids. (I'll let you guys have fun figuring out all these guys. I know, I know - naming the King is gonna be tough.)

In the other hand, we have a fistful of first round jokers:

In case you need a refresher on these much-less-than-fab five, the big bust list reads like this: Bilodeau, Yemelin, Brown, Fischer and Wilke. Okay, Comrade Alexei was a third rounder, but how 'bout 1988's Eric Charron instead? No? 130 NHL games too impressive? Okay, how about this for up-my-sleeve: Robin Sadler, 1975. First round. Number None Nine overall. Exactly zero NHL games.

The Goat gave up 27 plus 57 for 22. I'm no Newton, but that sounds like bad math. But it's not about math, it is about what hand Habs fans have been dealt in Junior, and - especially those like this guy who largely just criticise other people's mistakes - the guys that the Habs could have had instead. (The 'Yotes got a hardly-needed project goalie and a smallish potential third round Swede centre - a description that has a real familiar ring to it. Seemingly unlikely nightmare scenarios for the Habs, but impossible is nothing - or maybe I'm a sucker for large-shoe-company propaganda.)

If Junior lives up to his height and isn't a goddam traitor in seven seasons or so, let me be the first to blog thusly:

Nice Job, Goat! Well done, Trevy TM!!

If Alex Petrovic plugs Pleks in the playoffs or Jon Merrill goes top shelf on TFS in a few years, consider this the first installment in a long series of paragraphs that all ought to go along the same lines:

You suck at drafting even worse than at trading or at life in general, you Goat. You should have fired that bum Timmins the second you got hired, you know when you canned those other talentless scouts. No, actually, YOU should be fired/never had been hired. Did I mention you suck, you Goat? I hate you as a person although I've never met you. YOU SUCK.

And the difference in those 1000 words (more or less) can be summed up by one brilliant GG11 picture:

Buh-bye Lil' Tits

GG11's naked Sergei contribution to the goodbye

I still, to this day, don't know who these two dudes were, but now one of them is gonna want his $300 for an authentic Reebok jersey back.

Yes, Little Tits is gone. Traded to Nashville for forward Dustin Boyd, and goalie Dan Ellis, and there are future considerations involved but the media outlets can't seem to agree if it's us, them, or both. Before you can say "wow, the Preds got fleeced", consider Boyd is an RFA UFA (lap dance to ezzeloharr) July 1 and Ellis is a UFA. So who the fuck knows if they will even be on the team. I'm a stats guy, so here's the pertinent info:

Ellis posted a .909 save percentage and 2.69 goals against average in 31 games last season with the Preds, while Boyd had 11 goals and 13 assists in 78 games.

Not too shabby. IF WE CAN SIGN THEM. Questions for your future consideration:

Will Sergei explode for a 40 goal season some day? Will it be in the KHL?
How will Andrei react to his brother being gone?
How will FHF react to only having one set of Tits around here?

Discuss.

We have signings!

Since the Habs have absolutely no money to play around with July 1st, we'll have to content ourselves this week with the signings of our current crop of players. And today we have been delivered two! Huge ones! Whoppers!

RFAs Benoit "CHicken" Pouliot and Tom (McSplooge: "Tommy!!") Pyatt have both signed one-year deals according to RDS. CHicken signs for $1.35 million and Pyatt takes a pay cut to a mere 500 thousand. In the playoffs, Pyatt was five times the player CHicken was, so he's easily worth $6.75 mill and thus the Habs really got a steal there.

The Morning Skate for Monday, June 28th

Bullet points for what you missed whole dreaming of an instant replay camera on the goal line...

• Here's a roundup of the rest of the Habs draft choices. No Quebecois, yada yada;
• Crappy year for Quebecers overall anyway;
• Nabokov may be going to Philly;
• Marc Savard to Toronto?

When we're speculating about where players may go, it's a boring off-season Monday. Go Oranje! We're the only FHF with a team left, they better make it count.

Well, he's big

Hot draft action! Habs make a move! Insanity!

Sorry, we're still hungover, we may not be making sense. Anyway, the Canadiens actually did something at a draft for a change instead of just sitting there, making a trade with Phoenix to move up five spots to get this tall dude, Jarred Tinordi, at number 22. It tells you how old I am that I do in fact remember his father, Mark Tinordi, as a middling NHL'er. This kid is apparently better than his dad. By all accounts he's a great D prospect, and the Habs did well to get him. What do I know about prospects though, ask Panger and his invisible draft preview. Puck Daddy called it the "best unexpected pick" of the night.

We now return you to our regularly-scheduled pics of soccer babes, in honour of the Round of 16. This one's for Orangeman.

The Morning Skate for Sexy Draft Day

Bullet points for what you missed while having nightmares of playing 11 hours of tennis...

• OK we have offers! The Goat gets busy, makes qualifying offers to TFS, Mad Max, Pyatt, and Little Tits;
• Notably absent from that list is CHicken;
• Little Tits says the Habs made a mistake trading Halak and will regret it. Remind us why he got a qualifying offer?
• San Jose re-sign Patric Marleau, stop your dreaming;
• The Hawks trade their playoff hero Dustin Byfuglien to the Thrashers;
• The Leafs have a bunch of offers for Tomas Kaberle. We're sure they'll screw it up somehow.
  

Yes, it's Draft Day! We don't care one bit for the draft, but we imagine some of you do. Panger will be by later today with an excellent preview. While we wait for that, lap dance to moeman for providing the Sexy Friday video that has nothing to do with hockey but we don't give a crap. This video is awesome.

Bonne fête nationale!

Today we are all Bertrand Raymond.

Martin St Louis and Jose Theodore won awards last night, which is good. But a Swede won MVP. BR's gonna be pissed.

TMS Rants - this looks pretty close to a Hall of Fame lineup to me

WTF is wrong with the Hall of Fame? FUCK THE HALL. Look, I am not necessarily saying that Adam Oates is a Hall of Famer. Or the Russian Rocket. Or even Lindros (though if the Hall excuses Cam Neely's stats / career length because of injury, they should fucking do the same for Lindros). But they are all certainly worthy of discussion at least. I am most definitely saying (imho) that Gilmour and Nieuwendyk are Hall of Famers (there are enough stats to back me up, go find them yourself, I've got ranting to do). And don't get me started on Pat Burns. There is a special circle of hell for dicks who ignore Hall-worthy good people who will be fucking dead in 6 months of a horrible disease.

What I really mean to be saying here is that when the best you can do for a Hall of Fame class is Dino Ciccarelli and a couple of chicks (mazel tov to all of you! well deserved!) why the fuck could the fucking Hall not add ONE of that group up there??? I don't fucking get it. They can have up to four MALE players. So they put in one? Good fucking luck now Dougie. If you can't get in alongside Dino and the chicks, you're fucked forever. Look at me, I'm fucking pissed about a LEAF (he's always a Leaf to me) being fucked over. That's how fucked this is. Who would you rather have on your team, Doug Gilmour or Bernie Federko? Or Clark Gillies? Exactly. Two of those are the Hall. Fuck the Hall.

We now return you to our regularly-scheduled off-season signing news.

$5 mill per year will buy a lot of turtlenecks

Everyone is now reporting that Tomas Plekanec, aka Turtlepleks, aka PleXXXe, has signed a multi-year deal with the Canadiens for $5 million per year. Most people are now reporting it's a 6-year deal. Good for the Goat. He can get those complainers off his back now. HAHAHA. Yeah right.

So is 5 million too much? Too little? Just right? Commence arguing!

Oh yeah, Mathieu DarCHe also signed today, a one-year deal, but no one cares about that now.

The Morning Skate for Tuesday, June 22nd

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of your new iPhone OS...

• Ugh. Habs will open their home season October 13th against Guy Boucher and the Bolts. That's just cruel. Season opens October 7th in Tronna;
• Hall of Fame announcement comes down today. If Lindros gets in, we imagine a few arguments around here;
• TSN has its final pre-draft rankings out;
  
• The Bruins will try to bring peace to Northern Ireland;
• Jason Spezza "wouldn't object" to a trade form the Sens, whatever that means;
• NHL.com looks at goalies who could be on the move on July 1. Bring back Jose for backup!
  
• Our most recent True Blood recap is up over at the other place of business.

Is it starting to get maybe just a bit busier, news-wise? Maybe?

The Morning Skate for Monday, June 21st

Bullet points for what you missed while having nightmares of your team totally falling apart on and off the field...

• Lars Eller says all the right things (well, except for the loving Daniel Alfredsson part, but at least he recognized we wouldn't like it);
  
• Jason Arnott is a Devil again;
• Our old boy CHips got re-signed by the Ducks;
• Here's more about the Habs losing out on Larry Robinson, to start your day angry.

Another off-season Monday. Ugh.

Sexy Saturday goes to the World Cup

Since Sexy Friday was canceled because of all the, uh, Jaro business (scroll down to read Jaro's goodbye if you haven't yet), we thought you might enjoy Sexy Saturday as a replacement. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Hup Hup Holland! Ambush marketing? We don't give a shit. Look at them.

I need to make a call. Can I borrow your phone? It's a local call, I promise.

We're not forgetting our lady readers today. Please enjoy some shirtless footballers. Thanks to Jezebel for the pics. They're the internet leader in World Cup abs.



Consider this a Weekend Open Thread of Love. Feel free to talk soccer, US Open, recipes, or anything your little hearts' desire. Even hockey, what the hell. This pissed me off. Way more than the Jaro trade. Speaking of Jaro, my CBC opinion on that from yesterday is archived online. Maybe I don't sound like an idiot for a change. I'm happy I got to use the phrase "upside potential" on air once in my life.

This is My Bird Called a Song Sing by Swan

Helo, Mentreal.

I sad today. 3 week ago, I pley my last game in Cenedien joursie. I take Cenedien teem to canference finals for first time since 1993.

1993, what a year of crazy time. Cenedien teem win last Cup and year of dissolution of Czecolslovakia, where my home Slovakia and husband Czech republic file for Velvet Divorce.

Today, Mentreal, Cenediens file for another divorce, the divorce from me Jaro. Cari the fat wale now become big big goalie. Cari the fat wale is so fat I call him cupcake when I no call him wale. Sometime I call him fat cupcake wale. One day I call him Cari fat wale cupcake. I even call him fat Cari fat wale fat Cari wale cupcake.

I think Cari tell Pierre Go-tyay! listen Pierre, I always be called names by Jaro. He call me cupcake and wale and it make me cry from tears to my eyes. I no understand Pierre. I hate cupcakes. I hate cupcakes like Indiana Jones hates snakes. I want Jaro go now.

Cari want to stey in Mentreal and put big red Cenedien jersey. Cari make the divorce.

1993 was the Velvet Divorce. Today fat cupcake wale Cari make the Red Velvet Divorce.

I dont know Mentreal wat more I supose to make on ice for Mentreal teem to sey, oh Jaro you my favorite animal. I pley Olivechkin, he say I shake, I shake his hand 2 week later then he go score gols in internashional tournament in small arena in Bern. I pley Crosboosbie, everybady sey he best pleyer in planet of world of erth, and 2 week later he tell me he cant pley hockey anymore and he want to sell itubes on internet to sell contraband tubes of falopian for women who want more tubes. Great idea Crosboosbie!!!

Then i pley Filadelfia cream teem, where it all began, but teem no want to do important thing to do wen pley big haockey games in pleyofs; put gols behind the ass of other golie in other teem! I think Mike Camelarry sey to teem "ok teem, we win this series but best way to do it is no score any gols for 3 games ok? Who's with me teeem? On 3!: one, two, three!!!"

Ok listen Camelto, plan not work too good well. Cupcake stay on bench for 5 more games making more fat in his wale ass, teem no score one gol for 3 games and we lose series like Czecolslovakia lose half it's letters in 1993.

3 weeks later, teem look at me and sey, hey Jaro, bye Jaro. Good luck Mentreal with your Eler Meller and Ian Miller Big Fat Name sound like german Shultz. I not no if these pleyers no how to skate without training blades (yes, you know the litel blades they but on two sides of your litle skate when you are litel Jaro baby so you no fall on litel Jaro ass on lake near Bratislava!). You see, Eller and Shultz, when Go-tyay! remove the training blades, hold on to big fat Cari's boobs!

Now, I go to Louis Blue. City with so funy name! Oh Louis, you not very blue! Ok, I from Bratislava Green! But Bratislava green not possible because Bratislava no recycle anything but yogurt.

My best frend and agent Alloun Walsh tell me Jaro we going to take over NHL and every boy will have litel Jaro head of bobles and make me look like my head have pooopilepsie like Kastoutsyn. Alloun tell me we go to judge judy arbitration and we can sey to judy, "Hey Judy! I'm Jaro! Give me maney!" And Judy give me billions of dolars and big boat. Walsh sey Jaro so powerful now we make peace in middle of east and we rename city Jaroshalayim. Jaro will be on box of Jaro cereals with Cari and commercials that sey "Silly, wale, Jaros are for golies!"

I number 1 in Louis Blue. No more fat Cari, no more crazy Mentreal, no more talking to you here my friends. Wat crazy stories we sey to each other! We became good friends Mentreal, we will always have Paris.

Thank you for reading and for making Jaro one the most pleasant experiences of my life.

Goodbye, Mentreal.

It's TFS's team now

Jaro Halak has been traded to the St Louis Blues for Lars Eller and Ian Schultz. We have no idea who they are either. We'll check on that, and get back to you.

UPDATE: From the FHF scouting department:

Eller, 21, played in seven games for the Blues in 2009-10, scoring two goals and played 70 games for Peoria and recorded 57 points (18g, 39a). He was the 13th overall in pick in the 2007 NHL Entry Draft.

Schultz, 20, played the last four seasons for the Calgary Hitmen in the Western Hockey League. He recorded 55 points (24g, 31a) last season. He was the 87th overall pick (3rd round) by the Blues in the 2008 NHL Entry Draft.

Commence arguing! Er, continue arguing from the previous thread!

Media whoring update - yours truly will be on CBC Daybreak tomorrow morning at 7:40 AM to give his opinion. Which he doesn't really have yet. So all suggestions welcome! You can hear it on the web (link on the right side, "Listen Live").

The Morning Skate for Thursday, June 17th

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of an 18-game NFL season...

• Cam Neely is now the President of the Bruins. What does an NHL president do exactly?
• Here's that TSN off-season plan for the Habs. Usual TSN tripe with nothing of interest;
• Puck Daddy evaluates the odds for this year's Hall of Fame class. We admit we're kinda rooting for Doug Gilmour. Is that wrong?

Yawn. When the last two posts on HIO are about Boone blogging soccer, you know dick all is happening.

...wit no contrac!

BGL offers low-speed injured enforcement for less dan tree million dollars a year
...wit no contrac!

BGL lon distance fight for less dan tree million dollars a year anywhere in Nort America
...wit no contrac!

TEKSsavEEEE!!!! TeksavEEEE!!!!

We'll miss you BGL.

The Morning Skate for Tuesday, June 15th

Bullet points for what you missed while having nightmares of vuvuzelas...

• The Leafs have a new captain and new uniforms, which uh, look pretty much like their old ones, but with stripes. And a shoulder patch. Fancy;
• Looks like the Habs will buy out BGL's contract today, when the buyout period starts. Wait, BGL is still under contract?
• Do you like visual representations of the history of the Stanley Cup Finals and HTML5 experiments? (so basically, this is for me and moeman). Check it out (lap dance to Wendell Semaines for the link);
• Here's a good cause for you on this slow news day - Five Hole for Food, a cross-country street hockey extravaganza to raise money for local food banks. Please check em out and give 'em a hand;
• Considering the slow news-ness of the summer for hockey bloggers, we needed something to write about. So yours truly and Wrap Around Curl have teamed up to write about our favourite guilty pleasure, True Blood. So if you're a True Blood fan and/or bored, check out True Blood... or Hockey?

On of these days Jaro or Carey will be traded and the shit will hit the fan around here. Until then, yawn.

And Now, a Look at the Losing Side of the Equation

The Morning Skate for Monday, June 14th

Bullet points for what you missed over the last 5 days while dreaming of a return to hockey around here...

• Vinny is excited for Boucher's arrival in Tampa;
• Perry Pearn is sticking around. Whew;
• Pleks is The Hockey News' number one free agent;
• Dion Phaneuf to become captain of the Laffs today;
• Kings' assistant coach Mark Hardy has resigned in the midst of charges of felony sexual abuse.

Do you like fan-shot video of Stanley Cup parades that aren't on Ste-Catherine Street? Then here you go.

It's Grand Prix Day!

And the non-hockey weekend on FHF continues! Yes, the Montreal Grand Prix goes today after a one-year absence from the schedule. That's about all I've got to say. If you thought this post was just an excuse to post F1 babes, you would be correct.

Lewis Hamilton has the pole. Pole. Heh. For you ladies, here's Lewis on a beach somewhere. And I'll avoid the temptation to post a pic of his girlfriend. Enjoy the race everyone.

Sexy Friday and the FHF get you ready for the World Cup

Greetings soccer fans! Or football fans, your choice. In case you've been dead, the World Cup starts today. Wait, this is a hockey blog? Fuck off with your logic, there's football to watch.

We've asked each of the FHF for their thoughts about the chances of the team they support.

England - Habsfan10
As much as it pains me to say it, England only goes as far as that Man United shirt wearing, random-red card getting manchild with the fire-hydrant shaped head will take them. I LOATHE cheering for Wayne Rooney but he's the best (only?) chance they have unless ...

• Stephen Gerrard returns to being Stephen "Fucking Best Midfielder on the Planet" Gerrard (see Champions League Final, 2005);
• Fat Frank Lampard gets the hell out of Gerrard's way;
• Somebody pulls a Michael Leighton-esque goaltending miracle out of their hats; and
• The slow, horribly overrated defence doesn't get torn to pieces.

Gotta like their chances. At least Scotland won't be embarrassed and home before their postcards this time.

Italy - Panger

Suck it losers, we’re defending champs. Okay, that pretty much guarantees we won’t win, but none of you are from Brazil so your team isn’t winning, either. FORZA ITALIA.

France - HabsFan4

They have no chance. Have a nice summer.

The Netherlands - HabsFan29
You may wonder how a Canadian Jew of various Central and Eastern European descent ends up supporting the Oranje. Three Dutch ex-girlfriends, that's how. The first of whom looked almost exactly like this woman. Of course, many Dutch women look like this. ANYWAY, the Dutch, ranked 4th in the world, look to Arjen Robben to create magic. So then the fucker had to go injure his hamstring right before the tourney. Fuck me. He should still play at some point, but for sure he won't be 100%. Instead the Dutch will look to Wesley Sneijder (Robben's Real Madrid teammate before Real's Great Dutch Purge of 2009) to create the magic. If you want to create some magic in your pants, watch this video of Sneijder's girlfriend. Gah.

As for their chances, they will score some beautiful goals along the way and then lose 1-nil or 2-nil in the quarters or semis, as usual.

Got a World Cup favourite team? Favourite WAG? Bring it in the comments. Hockey is over anyway.

Congrats Chicago!

Mazel tov to the Blackhawks and the City of Chicago and their favourite athlete Michael Jordan for winning the Stanley Cup. Wait, what?

In all seriousness, well deserved. I guess. I barely watched the series. Now normally I subscribe to the "I'd like the team that beat us to do well" school of thought, but when that team is hated, or a rival, or a hated rival, fuck that shit. So fuck Philly and fuck Pronger and fuck those fucking Flyer fan trolls. Well done, Conn Smythe winner Toews, OT scorer Kane, Auntie Niemi, Sharp, Keith, Seabrook et al, you're a decent bunch. And even congrats to Hossa for finally picking the right team. And thanks for making the Leafs' Cup drought the longest in the NHL now. Here's a Cup-winning tribute to all of you and your fine organization (and for commentor CHester):

TMS regrets to inform you that the Habs' Coach of the Future will be Tampa's Coach of the Present

Well, you can forget about that dream you've had of Bulldogs' coach Guy Boucher taking over from Count Chokula any time soon. Multiple sources last night reported that Boucher will accept the job of head coach of the Lightning today. Apparently rejecting the BJ's offer yesterday was just step one in his devious plan to take over the NHL. Well played, Guy.

Boucher goes to a team that has a young star in Stamkos, established stars in Vinny and St Louis, a new GM (Yzerman) who should be pretty good, and a team that generally underachieved last year. Fuck, anyone would take that job. And according to Rue Frontenac he's taking Hamilton assistants Martin Raymond and Daniel Lacroix with him.

So to sum up, in that reactionary way Habs fans are famous for, the Canadiens organization is fucked for years to come. Good morning!

The Morning Skate for Monday, June 7th

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of having a career like Brian Chiu...

• The Pronger haters are quite happy this morning as he sucks balls for 60 minutes (-5, in the box for another), allowing the Hawks to take a 7-4 win and be one win away from the Cup. Michael Leighton is exposed one series too late. Dustin Byfuglien showed up for this one with 2G 2A. Game 6 not until Wednesday;
• RDS says (and many others agree) the BJ's have officially offered Guy Boucher the head coaching job. Excellent rundown of the situation over at The Columbus Post-Dispatch. Here's Big Fat Bob McKenzie's take, and JT has a great view from the Habs' side of the equation.

Ahh Monday. You suck.

It's a good old fashioned Weekend Open Thread of Love!

Oh I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. Good Morning! I hope you are doing well today. Are you stuck inside with all the rain this weekend? Do you like looking at pictures of Asian women kissing whilst making your own content? Then we have the blog post for you!

OK so what can we talk about? Start with the Phlyers who refuse to play nice and let the Hawks win, evening their series last night with a 5-3 win. While the Phuckers deserve some credit, the Hawks really blew chunks last night for the first 40, making mistakes and falling in a 4-1 hole. But the fact is the Flyers could be up 3-1 in this series easily. They will probably win this thing. Prepare yourselves people. Game 5 Sunday night at 8.

Around the Habs, I guess there's a development camp going on or something. Pierre Gauthier said yesterday that Trevor Timmins is safe in the wake of the great scouts' purge of 2010. He then gave an outstanding non-answer to the question of why the 6 scouts were fired. Something about organizational restructuring.

Around the sports world, college hoops fans mourn the loss of John Wooden. Well, maybe mourn is the wrong word, given he lived 99 years. Let's go with "celebrate the life of." In soccer news, whatever hopes the Ivory Coast had for the World Cup were dashed as Chelsea star Didier Drogba broke his arm in a warm up match yesterday. Let's see, what else can we discuss? Maybe you're watching the French Open finals. I have the ladies final on in the background as I write this, with two players I've never heard of. I guess there's a baseball season happening somewhere if you'd like to discuss that.

Of course, in the open thread of love anything is fair game for discussion. We haven't had a good recipe exchange around here in a while. Let's hear your summertime classics! I made a honey mustard potato salad this week that was easy and delish. Steam about 3 cups new potatoes (cut up the larger ones into bite-sized chunks). Shock in cold water after steaming. Add a tablespoon of mayo, a teaspoon of Dijon, a teaspoon of honey, a teaspoon each (or more) of fresh basil and thyme chopped finely, S+P to taste, chill for at least an hour and voila! Simplicity itself. BTW those measurements are totally made up because I do all my cooking by eye. Don't hold me to them.

So please share your thoughts about anything, your loves, your laughs, your links. Have a great weekend everyone.

Pantscast! Episode 4!

Fuck yeah, it's Pantscast time! Do you like drunken rambling about the Habs' season, the coming off-season, and the Wahlberg brothers? Then we've got more than an hour of entertainment for you! And we decided that Episode 4 needed a 4th person. So besides the usual cast of idiots of yours truly, HabsFan4, and Chris Aung-Thwin from HI/O's Other Wing, we've added... (drum roll)... you know her and love her from the comments... (drum roll gets louder)... lawyergirl77! She swore more than any of the boys so she fit right in. And there's also a special appearance from Hurleys waitress Jen. Audio is not too bad, but dammit the Hurleys' quiet room was pretty fucking loud so please excuse the background chatter. Some day I'll sort out the iTunes business I swear, and now the player is acting wonky too so apologies if you have a problem like the Pantscast going quiet after 20 seconds. Fuck technology. With all those caveats in place, take off your Pants at your discretion, and hit play or the download link (which works perfectly!) to revel in the fun that is the FHF Panstcast:


Download the mp3

Enjoy our dulcet tones on this Sexy Friday, then go save someone from drowning.

The Morning Skate for Thursday, June 3rd

Bullet points for what you missed while having nightmares of losing a perfect game thanks to a fucking idiot of an umpire...

• We have a series! A Claude Giroux OT goal gives the Flyers a 4-3 win (after a video review called a no goal for them in OT). We'd say more but we really don't care and thus didn't watch the game til OT;
• Here's a Louis Leblanc report from dev camp;
  
• NHL GM's met yesterday and discussed a bunch of stuff (head shots! blindside hits!) but decided nothing. Wacky ideas included a 3 on 3 portion of OT. Just bring back ties already;
• The Laffs let everyone know you can have Tomas Kaberle in a trade this summer (for a price. Or maybe a Price? See what we did there?);
• Gui! was on l'antiCHambre. Said nice things about Gio and Gomez. About the coaches, not so much;
• Outstanding piece over at Deadspin about the school of hockey fighting for kids. Between all the stupid poop stories and crappy theme weeks, this appears to be actual journalism for some reason.

Barring a disaster of biblical proportions, look out for the big end of season Pantscast tomorrow.

Stanley Cup Finals Update: Auntie Niemi Doing Just Fine Between Games

Auntie Niemi sitting back, knitting us a nice sweater.

Auntie Niemi, just being plain cooky!

Oh, Auntie Niemi is always so dainty.

Auntie Niemi getting those groceries done.

Auntie Niemi, a picture of calm.

The Morning Skate for Tuesday, June 1st

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of quitting Facebook...

• Oh look, actual defensive playoff hockey. Hawks are up 2-0 after a 2-1 win, thanks to two quickies late in the 2nd period and some stellar work by Niemi, especially in the 3rd period;
• Who needs scouts anyway? Habs get rid of 6 of them, plan to replace them all with the ScoutBot 3000;
• Pat Hickey asks some questions going into Development Camp that starts today;
• Bring back the Whale!

Hey it's June 1st. Fall is almost here.