The Stanley Cup Finallys!!!

It's always been a kind of anomaly. Once the puck drops on the most important tournament in hockey, the Stanley Cup Finals, 98.4% of the hockey world, including hockey-mad Montreal, has stopped giving a shit.

But there are plenty of reasons to give a shit even if this series feels like it's being played 12 years after the season started, in the middle of a small village in Peru.

Finally, Sidney Crosby.

We get to see two more weeks of one of the best individual runs ever. Runs that would make the ones I had in Mexico a while back envious. Maybe the Kid lifts the Cup at the end of this, far earlier than we had all expected.

It's about time, Gino Malkin.

He responded beautifully to critics who had labelled him a dud in the early stages of the Washington series. The Art Ross Trophy winner is playing with so much pizzaz I'm giving him the Diana Ross Trophy too.

What took you so long, Back to Back Finalists...

This hasn't happened since the Oilers exacted revenge on the Islanders in 1984, foiling NYI's attempt to share bragging rights the Rocket's Habs, and saving Montrealers from sharing anything related in History with Long Island.

Do you know how long we've been waiting for you Detroit, you repeat Champion?

Last time a city enjoyed back to back parades was in 98 when the Wings delivered two successive titles to Motor City. I'm thinking that morale must be low in Detroit these days, you know with the collapsing economy and shit, and the fact that people seem to favor riding around in hot air balloons over a fucking Chrysler.  So maybe Detroit deserves another Cup. Fuck that, Jules Verne rules.

I absolutely love the fact that Montreal is still eliminated

Stay where you are you dreadful Habs, don't move. I love you best when you're not in a hockey arena on skates. How bad is the press in Montreal that throws about 1554785506960 journalists to cover a team practice, that they all get scooped by a paper in fucking Bhbdhbfkjjngfnfgmgninsky!!!!!! Is Saks out? Probably. Is Kovy worth 7M? I think Kovy should be paid what Shia Lebeouf was paid for his staring role in Disturbia. 

Datsyuk and Lidstrom Out? Can Chelly hold the Cup over his head?

If this is to be the fantastic rematch we're all waiting for, then we want all guns firing. Can the Wings overcome a Datsyuk-Lidstrom-less lineup? Could the Habs overcome A Markov-Schneider-less lineup? Oh, yes, that team had no character, or courage (not you Saku, yes you everyone else). The Wings looked splendid (notice how often Red Fisher uses that word?) without its stars, with others coming up huge in the absence of 2 enormous talents. It barely showed.

Do you feel Osgood as Fleury does right now?  

Interesting that this final is the first in recent memory to not feature a superstar goalie, although both have been outstanding in these playoffs. Osgood's ability to morph into Georges Vezina borders on weird. Fleury looks like he's caught the comet that rides him to stardom (please make love to your significant others here, because that last sentence was my literary equivalent to a smooth and silky Mariah Carey ballad). Expect both goalies to shine here, but expect lots of goals and a series that may look a tad, though not as wide open as the Caps-Pens epic.

And Finally, when all is said and done?

A really good team will have won the Stanley Cup, making hockey, this wonderful, magical game, the real winner (that's for people that want more sex, go ahead)