Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Habs Look to Take it Up the Ass Again - Lightning Game Preview and Open Thread

Waiting in line details - 7:30 PM, Bell Centre. On TV: the magical RDS / TSN HD double double. The usual radio. Tampa coming off a drubbing at the hands of the Leafs last night. Check the new "Habs suck" section below for all your streak info about the Habs.

Pay your cover charge to - as MYFO pointed out today, there do not appear to be any active Lightning blogs. Hockey not successful in Florida? Thats un-possible!

Hot sexy Habs to watch - I guess Higgins is the only one who might fit here, with 6-3-9 in his last 10 games. That's about it. 9 year old hockey players have more goal-scoring talent than this lot.

Hot sexy Lightning to watch - Vinny Lecavalier leads the league with 45 points.

Skanky Lightning to watch - Johan Holmqvist was pulled from the TO game. Let's hope he doesn't rebound. Internet scuttlebut has either St. Louis or Richards being traded, possibly to the Habs. Lightning are (is? I never know which to use for those singular team names) the worst road team in the league this year.

Habs Suck - The "Skanky Habs to watch" feature has been replaced with the more succinct "Habs Suck" feature. Let's go to the bullet points to establish the level of suckitude, shall we?
  • Habs have lost 5 straight at home;
  • Habs have been outscored 21-8 during that span;
  • Habs have a 2-5-1 record in their last 10 games;
  • We've tumbled from 4th to 8th in the East as a result, and we're a mere 3 points out of 12th;
  • Captain K has one goal in his last 17 games;
  • The Franchise Saviour (tm) was pulled after 2 periods in the last game, but will start tonight as Huet has yet to massage his groin sufficiently for it to be healed;
  • El Dandy is now on the Habs allegedly "first" line. (cranky old man alert) Not quite Shutt-Lemaire-Lafleur now, is it?

Alright that's enough. Let's hear your complaints in the comments.


Habsfan10 said...

Never mind Shutt-Lemaire-Lafleur, I'd be happy with Napier-Acton-Lafleur at this point.

bob said...

I'd even settle for a
Muller-Damphousse-Leeman ...

Maybe we should ask Muller, Carbonneau and Gainey to lace them up for tonight.

Please, just fucking try, that's all we ask.

Flying Toaster said...

I can think of a list longer than a stripper pole of players to fit on the top line:

Sergei Kostitsyn
Matt D`Agostini
Alex Kovalev
Andrei Kostitsyn

Seriously, is Carbo making the first line suck on purpose? It`s like he WANTS them to fail and just give Ryder a message so he can put Ryder back there. But the guy needs to wake up, if Ryder isn`t hauling ass now, he ain`t worth it. "We have a good second line i don`t want to break up" What kind of shit is this? As far as i remember, Plekanec-Kostitsyn and Higgins played great together, Guimauve works on the top line, and if Kovalev is your top scorer with Plekanec, i don`t know but something tells me he`d be even better with koivu... /rant

HabsFan29 said...

@flying toaster - im with you on the Little Tits. It's time for him to be called up already. more than a point per game this year in Hamilton

bob said...

Little Tits a lazy bum relying only on talent. Might be good for AHL, but not enough for NHL. He’s got to improve his work ethic to make it with the big club.

Why not Guimauve with Capt K and Higgy? If a 7th D is better than a 2nd round pick to play on a so called first line, somebody fuck up.

HabsFan29 said...

lazy bum relying on talent? doesn't work? sound perfect for the Habs! ;)

I agree with Guimauve though. He was just fine the when he played with them a few games ago

Matt D said...

Oh shit. The mouth-breathers over at Habs Inside Out are getting really excited about a Koivu and Ryder for Marleau and Bernier trade.

Despite his name, Patrick Marleau is NOT FRENCH. He's from Saskatchewan. Also, he sucks. (I know, I have the bastard in my pool.)

panger76 said...

I love Marleau (I had him in my pool the last two years) and would make a truer 1st Line center than Captain K - although there is no way that trade is going to happen. Eklund reproted it in the summer, so no way.

HabsFan29 said...

@matt: HIO posters are always right - in their own minds. and Panger's right, if Eklund says it, it must not be true

we will not be able to get rid of Ryder for anybody. we will have to pay someone to get him off the Habs

Habsfan10 said...

People will riot if we trade Koivu for anyone whose name doesn't rhyme with Delavalier. And that ain't happening either.

Although I'd throw Ryder, Halak, and a prospect or two at Jay Feaster to see if Brad Richards could be pried loose.

HabsFan29 said...

ooh that sounds good HF10!

OK drink (#3) in hand, let's get this butt-kicking on the road!

HabsFan29 said...

OOHHHH TITS!!!! so close...

Anonymous said...

hahahahaha I haven't swung by for a while and the first thing i see is the "habs look to take it up the ass again"...header above this post. Thats fucking priceless. Thank you.

HabsFan29 said...

enjoy anonymous. it's funny 'cause it's true

1st period reaction - meh.

Habsfan10 said...

Very meh, although El Dandy has looked pretty good.

I like saying El Dandy.

Any reason why our comments section is in Spanish? Cause El Dandy approves.

Habsfan10 said...

Okay, it's not in Spanish now. El Dandy does not approve.

HabsFan29 said...

heh, 10

iffy goal, i'll take it!

HabsFan29 said...

I can't enjoy anything for TWO FUCKING MINUTES

HabsFan29 said...

ps HF10, comments have been acting wonky all night. did you really see it in Spanish?

I like saying El Dandy too. let's hope he scores

HabsFan29 said...

Oh Rhino, falling down


HabsFan29 said...

time is really running out here

on our SEASON

HabsFan29 said...

Gord Miller: "That's the 1st regular strength goal by the Habs in 122 minutes." that made me lol

friggin miracle

HabsFan29 said...

Kovy not in the SO because????

just kill me

we got a point i guess, but FUCK

too close to toronto said...

i'm fucking done with these bitches.

see you guys in october.

Kevin said...

By God, I hate watching this team right now and seriously, it makes me depressed.

I never thought I'd be one of those people calling for Carbo's head, but here I am, wanting us to just get the inevitable over with and to sack him. I even watched the game thinking that if a huge losing streak is what we need to get rid of him, then we need to keep losing.

The last thing is that our dreams of a Stanley Cup contender during our centenary are absolutely junk. We have a bright future, but I can't see us being that good by then. Maybe I'm just sad from another putrid Habs effort tonight.