Monday, January 07, 2008

Gainey's Take on the First 41

As the FHF takes its sweet-ass time to give you our first half of the season review (TMS told you, we're too busy with cheap stripper Mondays), Bob stepped to the podium to give his take. For those of you who don't read the French, we at FHF happily translate Bob's quotes for you. Please note his trademark calm demeanour may get lost in the translation.

Je vois que Guy (Carbo) est plus confortable derrière le banc cette saison. Les joueurs répondent mieux et ils sont plus disciplinés que l'an dernier.

Trans: What the FUCK is Guy doing back there? The looks on his face are fucking killing me. Deer in the goddamn headlights. One year as a head coach and you decide to turn into the dipshit Puppet Master? Give me a fucking break. The players are so confused they can't react, so they are like zombies. One more month of this crap and I'm taking over.

Nous ne pouvons pas compléter des rencontres en ne remportant que 25 ou 30 % de nos mises en jeu.

Trans: Can no one win a fucking face-off??? The puck drops, you put your fucking stick on it and pass it back to the player behind you. It's not that hard you asshole centers.

J'ai lu dans les journaux dernièrement que les bonnes prestations de Kovalev étaient liées à une rencontre que j'avais eue avec lui. Ce n'est pas le cas.

Trans: I can't tell Kovy shit. That guy is fucking crazy. Ever go up in his airplane with him? Don't. The guy has shitloads of vodka and a dead hooker up there.

C'est Alex qui a décidé de changer son attitude et de se prendre en main. Je suis content pour lui. Tout le crédit lui revient.

Trans: I'm scared shitless of that fucking bipolar maniac. Of course all credit goes to him. If I said anything else I'd get whacked like a hooker.


fezworth said...

GOLD, 29. Pure gold.

Goodhabits said...

hahaha, I love it

Shmee said...

If my French prof. in college was as good as you at translation, I never would have dropped it. I knew that bitch was holding out.

Flying Toaster said...

Shmee, so you're saying she didn't put out? I have the same problem with MY french teacher at college. Smoking hot, but won't put out. Something about a "school policy". Psh!

And who cares if Kovalev is bipolar? Maybe that's why he's having such a great season. Worst season ever last year, best season ever this year. I wonder what comes next though? Plainest season of his career? Nah! Not Kovy...

lawyergirl77 said...

Well done, 29... I am working on a translation today, and I wish I could do what you just did!!