Line Juggling 101: Carbo Explains Himself

Yeah, I'm gonna do what I want and you can't stop me, 'stie calice

So against the Isles and again at practice yesterday Carbo did some line juggling. Really? There's a surprise. As our usual public service from the FHF, we translate the coach's comments en français to the King's English.

On putting Guimauve down with Ryder and Smols:

Je n'ai pas remplacé Guillaume parce qu'il a raté des chances de marquer dernièrement. Il va en avoir autant avec Smolinski et Ryder.

Trans: Gui! is sucking as much as Amber Lynn in "American Cocksucking Championships 7." Did you see him miss that fucking wide open net against the Isles? His stick didn't even touch the fucking puck. I'm demoting that prick to the third line where he can rot in hell for all I care.

And on putting Higgins back with Koivu:

Chris se cherchait dernièrement et j'ai jugé le moment opportun, chez lui à Long Island, de faire le changement.

Trans: The guy was playing in front of his whole goddamn family and I thought I would give him a fucking break. But really, give me a fucking break. Three goals in his last 17 games? Time to rip that "A" off his fucking chest.

Je possède une belle marge de manoeuvre. Peu importe ce que je fais, on peut miser sur trois trios efficaces à l'attaque et fiables en défense.

Trans: I can do whatever the fuck I want and it makes no goddamn difference.

Ça me facilite la tâche, surtout à l'étranger, quand je veux accorder une surveillance étroite au meilleur trio de nos adversaires.

Trans: When we're on the road, I'm screwed without having the last line change. I have no fucking clue how we're winning. I've been watching the best opposing players very closely, and some of them are fucking incredible. Did you see that Ovechkin kid? I couldn't take my eyes off him. What moves! And that Sidney guy would look great in a Habs uni. Did you see him on the cover of Men's Fitness? Rowr!