Monday, January 25, 2010

Bonne chance, Bertrand. Fuck off, Bertrand.

In case you missed the very important news over the weekend, our old pal Bertrand Raymond penned his very last internet column for Rue Frontenac. BR is calling it a retirement, but we've got a feeling he's never going away. While his greatness has been lauded by others, we, uh, feel it's much more appropriate (for us at least) to rip into him one last time. So for those of you who don't speak the language of Bleu Nuit (oh Bleu Nuit, how we miss you), we handily translate some of his last words for you, and close out the BR era with a couple of comments FJM-style.

En annonçant ma retraite d’un métier qui a été toute ma vie, je veux m’assurer de ne pas avoir à vivre une deuxième année de lock-out.
Union solidarity forever! Except now. I'm outta here. Screw my life's work.

Grâce à, ce ne fut pas une année futile
Hey I got a whole year to spit out crappy columns unedited. God bless the interwebs!

Comment se sent-on dans un moment comme celui-là ? Je ne suis pas sûr de pouvoir trouver les mots pour l’exprimer.
How to express my feelings at a time like this? I can't find the words. What am I, a writer?

J’en ai été le chroniqueur de hockey à une époque où le « beat » était la responsabilité d’un seul homme
Ah, the good old days. When the Habs had the rights to every great francophone player. And the lonely beat writer could fellate him regularly.

Vingt-quatre années à émettre des opinions que vous n’avez pas toujours partagées et qui vous ont souvent incité à me dire ce que vous en pensiez.
Twenty-four years of spitting out bullshit and having you call me out on it. Good times!

Je vous ai donné l’heure juste parce que si vous vous donniez la peine de vous procurer quotidiennement ce journal, vous méritiez de l’obtenir.
I spat out all the bullshit because we had to sell papers. This is a business, you know.

Je n’ai pas toujours été bon...
Hey we finally agree on something!

...mais je ne me souviens pas d’une seule journée au cours de laquelle je n’ai pas essayé.
We can think of several days where you totally mailed it in, spitting out the same xenophobic crap you have for 24 years.

On se quitte aujourd’hui comme de vieux amis
Sure, if being old friends means we've totally grown apart because we disagree on absolutely everything now that one of us has matured.

Je vous dis donc au revoir et merci.
See? Au revoir means he'll be back. He's like a T-1000. You can't kill him. You can only hope to contain him to l'AntiCHambre.


cucubau1 said...

Finally, the little prick is gone
this is the best news of 2010 till now

... next in row the crap-eater Rejean Tremblay
when theso 2 are gone , we can start talking hockey


viva Martin Mcguire& Danny Dube

cucubau1 said...

Je oublie de lui faire mes voeux pour sa retraite
"Va joue dans traffic Bertrand"

moeman said...

De l'Or! HF29.

Dehors! BR.


Dans la langue anti-Molière;

What's here? the portrait of a blinking idiot,
Presenting me a last article! I will read it.
How much unlike art thou to Red Fisher!
How much you dislike my Habs you are undeserving!
"Who chooseth you shall have as much wool as he deserves"!
Did I, a fan, deserve no more than a fool's head?
Is that my prize? Oh look desserts!


Beau drapeau GG.

English Pig Dog said...

The world just got smarter. Go fuck youself Bertie, you dickless mofo.Even the Patats won't miss you.

soperman said...

Will he still be used as a unit of measure for player assessment?

hfotwc said...

seeing br going to rds doesn't increase the level on intelligence there

moeman said...

posted by Dave Stubbs at 10h10 EST on Jan 25

An update: Four days after suffering a mild stroke, Élise Béliveau tells me this morning that her husband, Jean, continues to make good progress.


Pepe Le Pew said...

No more BS from BR...

Mean while Bob is triring up the stew.

moeman said...

I doubt BR will slink away into his blue sunset.
He was just on the radio w(h)ining that he needs to 'decant' before resurfacing.
Methinks he will spend a few weeks looking for a new hair colour
and come back to spin his wool on rds.

HabsFan29 said...

I just figured it out. In time for the playoffs (knock wood), BR joins RDS as the third man in the booth.

Just imagine BB and BR in the same booth.

moeman said...

@HF29, there'd be more splooge in the rds booth than what is normally scrapped off of gord miller's chin.

Pepe Le Pew said...

If we're lucky maybe he'll end up on CBC, I'd'love to see him with Cherry...

English Pig Dog said...

Not in the booth. But on l'anti chambre .. bien sur stie. He can't think fast enough for the booth.

moeman said...

BR hates Canada (unless he gets free VAN2010 mittens and a fake torch run) so I don't see him on cbc. I'd almost welcome back a head-up-ass idiot like pedneault (funny cuz BR now mourns yvon like a lost lover) instead of bert.

Olivier said...

Wow, haven't been around here for a while, but seeing the title on Lions in Winter blogroll, I couldn't help but notice...

You guys are still barking at Bertrand Raymond?

Well, enjoy it while it last, I guess...

Anonymous said...

How`s this for ironic?

Doucharek might miss the Olympics...

That`s too bad cause I would have loved to see Canada expose him for the pylon he is...

Number31 said...

Bye bye mon cowboy


Now if we could just get him off RDS...

Sonia said...

One down, one to go. Réjaune Tremblay, c'est à ton tour, bitch!!

Anonymous said...

See ya you xenophobic spewing douchebag.Why don't ya dye your hair a different color and stop with your douchey comb over. Hate ya forever. Drop Dead you old fart.

hfotwc said...

@ pepe

BR can only speak the relish with the mustar tabarnac.

@29 BBBR, how will we be able to watch a full game without our brain melting...