Friday, January 22, 2010

Jersey Boys Game Preview and Open Thread


Fresh off the jettisoning of the big goomba BGL and with Cammilleri being all Frankie "I'm in charge here" Valli in practice, the Habs take a trip to the epicentre of all that is Italian and ruling the theatres ... er, Eastern Conference. It's Jersey, yo. Grab your program and ask the usher where your seat is ... this is a classy show, not like that bullshit hippy Rent thing. Buncha animals in that show, I tells ya. Not a shiny silver suit amongst them.

Oh What a Night: Live from the Prudential Centre in beautiful downtown Newark, 7:00 pm on the RDS. Don't wear any jewellery, don't walk anywhere alone, and for gawdsakes, don't make eye contact with Reggie the Crackhead outside Gate C. No matter what he tells you, he is NOT a Devils employee. Devils coming off another shutout. Habs coming off the furious comeback loss to St. Louis and dealing with all the BGL/Cammy/MadMax backstage sniping.

Walk Like a Man: Benoit Pouliot looks every bit like the 4th overall pick he was supposed to be. He might save Gainey's job all by his lonesome. Well, he's getting lots of help from his Jersey Boy linemates Gionta and Gomez too. Can Cammi use his recent fiestiness to springboard back into goal-scoring action? Is Pleks assist last game the start of a new streak? Let's hope. Oh hey, look, Marty Brodeur just had his one-millionth shut-out. Jesus. The man is boring but consistently excellent. Like every week, Devils goals come from the uber-talented Zach Parise and not many other places. They've got Brodeur, Parise, Jacques Lemaire coaching and 20 other shock troops and they will steamroll almost anyone in the league using that very formula.

The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore: Oh, where in the hell is the supporting cast in this show? Pacioretty, Moen, Metro, Mad Max, D'Agostini ... I can't remember the last time one of them actually stepped up and won this team a game. Jaro 2.0, Gill, Mara, and Hamr look older and slower than every defence corps in the league. Price put the Habs in a hole and nearly got himself concussed reaching for a puck against noted headhunter Cam Janssen. Not pretty. For New Jersey, Captain Jaime Langenbrunner is pointless in 3, so are Travis Zajac and noted Hab-killer Brian Rolston. Niclas Bergfors would fit right in on the Habs third and fourth lines, since he's pointless in 7.

Big Girls Don't Cry:
No, this isn't the BGL bashing section. We're talking walking wounded. Both Tits still out, Andrei for a few more weeks, Sergei has-been day-to-day for seemingly forever. Anyone else think he's goldbricking and marking time till he bolts for the KHL? Devils still missing long-term absentees Paul Martin, Dainuis Zubris and David Clarkson, and Patrick Elias is now concussed in the head.
.
Can't Keep My Eyes Off Of You: Pookie and Schnookie. Self-professed Devils fans since 1997 who run Interchangeable Parts. It's equal doses of smart, funny, and holy-crap we can't believe we cheer for the Devils angst from two ladies. What's not to like?

I'm in the Mood for Love:
Your post-game entertainment? Hail a cab and get your ass out of Newark as fast as possible, head across the river for some after-show drinks just off Broadway. Or the Spearmint Rhino. Whatever.

89 comments:

soperman said...

Is Darche playing tonight? He has such an obvious FHF nickname.

Boob Gainey said...

Check out the hilarious Tortorella interview that Boone linked to.

Tort's has so little class that I predict he'll coach the Leafs some day.

Robbie said...

Lets change goalies AGAIN! lets not pick one guy and stick with him. No that might actually help to build character. You think Dollar $ign might want to make up for that ''fell asleep dreaming of 16 year olds'' goal the other night? OF COURSE NOT. We'll just switch over to the other guy and if he loses we'll switch back. Thats how you build a goalie's confidance. Thats how you show him your behind him and he needs to suck it up and play better. No that principle would be coaching and JM is certainly not coaching.

Jaybird said...

@ Robbie - Great point. The goaltender dual is now officially absurd. Why dont we give them 2-3 games in a row each?

@ Boob - You don't like Torts? He is what Martin is missing in so many ways. I would much rather him as our coack than the slab of touppee wearing granite we have right now. His interview last night was hilarious! "You were probably the guy who got beat up at the bus stop!" Thats Comedy!

Text to display

Jaybird said...

Finally figured the links out! Text to display means what I write! Food goes in here.

Boob Gainey said...

@Jay

I think the Habs should stay classy. Remember Number 4? That's a Hab. Bob Gainey. Larry Robinson. Cournoyer, Richard, Savard etc ...

Let Toronto and NY have obnoxious jerks like Torts, Wilson and Burke.

Jaybird said...

We used to have Pat Burns as a coach...he had some Tortorella like moments. I would trade anyone on our team to get Burns back.

Winning is classy also. We are too polite and teams take advantage of us nightly. I believe teams like the Sens and Devils laugh at us and consider us a joke after beating us in our own arena every time. But were a classy laughing stock I guess.

Its time to get noses bloody and knuckles dirty in the corners. A team built for speed and scoring with a coach that handcuffs all of it! Beauty

Robbie said...

@ Boob your absolutely right, every guy you mentioned and many more. The sad part is it doesn't mean anything anymore. The facts are the facts. 17 years later and still searching for a cup. We role out all the classy guys and the organization wraps itself in its past performance and it celebrates its memories. I would take the Habs past any day over the ''Fuck A Leafs'' or the Rangers.

However, the idea that adding some passion and grit and guts and blood and some pissed off character into the equation to wake this fucking team up is very justified. You can still have class and get pissed off, you can still have class and call out the over paid underperforming yahoo's who currently wear the uniform (and work in the front office). That is the difference that seperates us from a 5 hour drive West down the 401.

If anyone demonstrated that grit and those guts it was Big Jean and i'm sure he isn't to pleased about the passion (or lack thereof) on the ice. I think it is normal for anyone who cares about this team to demand better. That is classy.

Boob Gainey said...

"Its time to get noses bloody and knuckles dirty in the corners. "

No doubt, but that has nothing to do with being obnoxious.

Does the name Larry Robinson ring a bell?

moeman said...

Great work HF10. GG, love how you snuck KovalCHuk into the #17 jersey.

HabsFan29 said...

agree with moe. in all the hockey talk this afternoon the genius of the post (words and pic) has been lost. well done kids

i didn't even realize KovalCHuk had the CH in there. he was born to play here

and congrats to Jaybird on figuring out the href tag!

GoldenGirl11 said...

Hate to stir up yet another controversay but Kraft macaroni and cheese or Kraft cheese and macaroni?
Discuss.

@Moe and 29
All 10.

Moey said...

Will this work?

moeman said...

Macaroni noodles in an old cheddar béCHamel sauce, gratiné'd with some nice peppery bread crumbs.

HabsFan29 said...

@GG - Kraft Dinner

Moey said...

Result!

wv - tuati

As in the dumb tuati finally figured it out.

moeman said...

Moey scores!

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Sounds amazing. Kids don't like crunchy macaroni. Ever add cream cheese? Excellent.

@29
The one and only. Mission accomplished.

Moey said...

Well that took a lot out of me. I'll just go back to rocking my dolly and drooling.

Carry on.

J.T. said...

@GG11: I'll go with macaroni and cheese, as the actual cheese in the box is so minimal as to be rendered almost inconsequential.

HabsFan29 said...

alright who puts ketchup on their KD / mac 'n cheese? don't be shy, it's a dirty secret many share (me included)

Moey said...

HF29,

I like cut up hotdogs mixed in with mine. But it has to be eaten as soon as it's made and the sauce is still runny. Comfort food, now and then I get a craving.

moeman said...

GG, yup, I've done the cream cheese and noodles thing. Easy and delish. Fresh herbs and a dash of lemon juice adds the zing!

Also, the aforementioned old cheddar recipe is just as good sans crumbs and even better with asparagus.

HabsFan29 said...

Moey i've heard of that but never tried it. Now i'm ready !

moeman said...

Comfort food for me is meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Not a big ketCHup fan but love the HP Sauce.

moeman said...

"Moey i've heard of that but never tried it. Now i'm ready !"

Is HF29 telling us he has yet to master the blogger html code or cutting weenies into his KD.

Also, dessert comfort food = rice pudding, no raisins.

Moey said...

@moeman,

A man that cooks, awesome. Mr. Moey won't/can't boil water. I even do all the BBQuing. *sigh*

HabsFan29 said...

i would like to state for the record that despite my love of KD with ketchup, i too can cook. i do a salmon with lemon and dill that the ladies swoon over. and a kosher stuffed pork loin roast that melts in your mouth

Moey said...

Comfort dessert - baked apples.

Moeman, rice pudding is good too, and like you I don't like raisins.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Ketchup!!! The best.

HabsFan29 said...

k kidz im out for a long dinner. should be home in time for the 3rd

please let it still be a game. please let it still be a game. please let it still be a game. please let it still be a game.

moeman said...

Sounds like HF29 is taking advantage of Subway's $5 foot long.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moey
Baked apples with coke!

Moey said...

@GG,

I never tried that! This is such a cool blog.

VTHABSFAN said...

What! nobody engages in the gratuitous use of canned tuna in their Kraft Mac and Cheese?!? Come on, protein people!!
As for ketchup, I was in grade school during the national (American) dialogue as to weather it could be considered a vegetable at school lunch.
Comfort dessert = Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie.

moeman said...

GG knows, Coke, Dr. Pepper or Pepsi is a good substitute for sweetening and glazing (eg. a ham basted in Dr. Pepper is quite delish).

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Bubby was the best cook. Way ahead of her time. Used Coke for everything.

moeman said...

Karma, CHameleon ~ Bye George

Two-faced loving in your eyes all the way

If I listen to your lies would you say

I'm a man without CHonviction

I'm a man who doesn't know

How to sell his contradiction

You come and go, you come and go, George



Karma karma karma karma, karma CHameleon

You come and go, you come and go, George

Loving would be easy if your class was like my team's

Red white and blue, red white and blue



Didn't see your wicked punches everyday

Turned out to be so useless, JM would say

That BGLove was an addiction

When you scored our love was strong

When you go you're gone forever

You slink along, you slink along



Karma karma karma karma, karma CHameleon

You come and go, you come and go, George

Loving would be easy if your class was like my team's

Red white and blue, red white and blue



Every day was like survival

You're a vegan, say no to animal

Every game was like survival

You're usefulness no longer crucial



Gainey's a man with CHonviction

I'm a fan who wanted a show

Now I'm left with your media diction

On the radio you'll go, on RDS you'll go



Karma karma karma karma, karma CHameleon

You come and go, you come and go, George

Loving would be easy if your class was like my team's

Red white and blue, red white and blue



Karma karma karma karma, fucking CHameleon

You come and go, you come and go, George

Pants!ing would be easy if your class was like my team's

Bleu blanc et rouge, blue blanc et rouge

Moey said...

@moeman,

Two thumbs up!

So now that BGL is gone, according to Bob we have a better chance of making the playoffs? Okie dokie.

kevincrumbs said...

@moeman: If I end up stuck with that song all night long, I'm not going to be a happy camper. Still, good job. I loved the vegan line.

@moey: I also like to toss in cut up sausage into my mac and cheese, although it can be anything from cheapo generic Oscar Meyer like wieners to fancier sausage from the butcher's case at the supermarket. I also only buy Annie's Mac & Cheese, which is the or-gan-gan shit in the shape of Arthur's head.

Speaking of food, how have I not eaten today yet scrubbed the bathtub and the toilet?

moeman said...

@kc, have some really spicy chili and get back to scrubbing the porcelain bowl

@moey, Bob's doesn't have to many blame cards left

@kc, when BGL yipped to the media my first take was karma is a bitCH, then boom, the song stuck. Don't worry it'll fade away, like George.

Ronan said...

Hm. That looks familiar.

moeman said...

eesh

Moey said...

Apart from the odd hideous defensive lapses, they have a bit more jump tonight.

moeman said...

Trudat Moey but our Habs have no finish and no Finnish.

moeman said...

CHicken!

Moey said...

That chicken is looking more and more like a rooster. He is strong on the puck. Sweet.

VW - palize

Can we palize score another couple of goals.

lawyergirl77 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lawyergirl77 said...

Holy fuck Pouliot is good.

Aside from that, I don't seem to have missed much while I was gone for two weeks... aside from Martin having bought himself a new box of Clairol for his flowing locks (seriously - it's hella red looking tonight).

Is BGL a healthy scratch tonight, yet again? (I keed, I keed - I wasn't living under a rock)

moeman said...

Moey are you suggesting that Poule is cocky and strong on the cluck!?

moeman said...

Welcome back lg77.

~~~

WV = cutti

Moey said...

Well pluck me moeman, that's exactly what I'm implying.

moeman said...

Birds of a feather ...

lawyergirl77 said...

Many thanks Moe! :)

Just read upthread. Damn, now i really have a craving for KD and rice pudding. Hmmm...

moeman said...

At lg77, are you asking me to add some KD Lang to my parody repertoire?

moeman said...

For the CHef/cooks amongst us,

Whilst making rice pudding, substitute half of the milk with, wait for it, a can of coconut milk! Wanna sweeten your fave sweetie? Sprinkle some toasted coconut on the pudding and enjoy. Warning, this recipe may save you relationship.

moeman said...

The fuckers at rds just mentioned Gu:(

Go fucking figure.

moeman said...

Would you buy a used car or insurance for your vacuum from alain crête?

moeman said...

d'arCHe!

habsss said...

Is this the most 5 on 5 goals they've scored in all of January?

moeman said...

Habs are out-Lemaireing Lemaire. Keep it up bitCHes!

Moey said...

Sooooo...IF we win this one, can we safely assume that BGL was caught giving the team head nuggies in the dressing room causing them to completely forget how to play hockey?

moeman said...

http://hopeforhaitinow.org/

Just gave. Can't imagine ever having to try to live through such a disaster. Makes life's problems seem small. Love your brothers and sisters fellow FHFers.

Anonymous said...

alain crete aka le baron des cons?

i think rds is trying to scare little children when they show that ugly arrogant fuck on tv

Ronan said...

Oh D'Agostini, you're no Tom Kostopoulos.

Moey said...

@Ronan,

But fair play to him, even if he was squashed like a bug. It's the thought that counts.

moeman said...

V O D K O V !

moeman said...

PASSES TO SQUID!!!

orangeman said...

Are they just setting us up for more tragedy later?

orangeman said...

HA-LAK! HA-LAK! HA-LAK!

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Orange
Spoken like a true Jew. I think I'll call you Eesh Katom.

lawyergirl77 said...

Holy shit.

Did we just win?

In NJ?

Whoa.

boob gainey said...

Hey Brodeur you fat inflated stats because of the trap sister-in-law fucker - you just got owned by Jaro Halak.

boob gainey said...

Mathieu Darche 1st star!

Moey said...

Congrats to Darche Vader on his firt goal as a Hab.

*busily scratching head*

Who were those people dressed as our suckier than suck Habs? Hope they stick around.

moeman said...

'Bout fuckin' time.

Rice pudding for all! (Methinks lg77's re-appearance made the difference)

orangeman said...

A Hab win in NJ? Against Brodeur? What a time to be alive.

moeman said...

+1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 to Moey for 'Darche Vader'

moeman said...

rds has found their new Sauvieur in Darche. How soon they hope we forget that hey laughed at his return to the Habs.

moeman said...

Go Saints!

Go Habs!!

moeman said...

... and, um, man, our HF29 is one slow eater.

fezworth said...

Ok, Best six degrees I can come up with tonight.. only two degrees!

I used to play 'D' league intramural hockey at McGill. Midway through my second season, our regular goalie couldn't make the game. Instead, a teammate's roommate suited up in goal for us.

The gentleman's name is not important. What is important is that he happened to be the captain of the McGill Redmen. Not a goalie, but he still provided us with our first win... ever. He actually managed to stickhandle his way to centre ice to dump the puck in at one point.

And, at the time, his teammate was...

dum da dum [drum roll]

Mathieu Darche! Two-point man, GWG scorer and your second star of the evening.

I feel all tingly :)

Moey said...

Good grief, the guys on L'Antichambre are wetting themselves. Cue channel change.

'Night all.

Been a pleasure, as usual.

HabsFan29 said...

OK new rule. every time the Habs play on Friday night, i go out for a LOOOOONNG dinner

jesus fucking christ i cant believe i missed that

jesus fucking christ i cant believe we won in NJ

jesus fucking christ i cant believe Mathieu Darche was the first star

just, jesus fucking christ

Anonymous said...

Ha! Even the TSN writers used the Jersey Shore angle in their headline!!

Good job once again GG11!!

Oleg Petrov said...

Fun facts!!:

Benoit Pouliot has doubled - DOUBLED - his career goal scoring stats all-time ever in his whole NHL life in the last month.

On a less exciting note, tonight Darche Vader made 2009-2010 a tie for his second-best season stats (2001-02 saw a hot two pointzz with the Blew Jackets!!). Watch out, 2007-08, you're next!

Number31 said...

Singing some Journey~

I'm honestly not surprised. Honest. The Devilzzz play the same passive-aggressive snoozestyle Martini is trying to get the Habs to do. Only our boys are the inconsistent Devilzzz. They just need to put their mind to it and the Devilzzz aren't so scary. I want them to beat the Rags tomorrow. Then I'll be happy.

Let us be thankful for Darche Vader. He was temporary captain of the Bulldogs while Henry was injured and helped set Sergei straight as his roommate.

gillis said...

What the fuck? Didn't watch the game, and they won, yet i'm still disappointed. The first thing I thought when I saw that theywere winning with 3 miinutes left was "What the fuck is wrong with these guys??" Was it just that time of the month? For sure I'm down for planning the parade after a win against the devils, but fuck, in a week they are just gonna make us cry again by losing to some shitty ass team, and make us think that the sky is falling and making us wish BGL would return for his secondary scoring. Fuck. Why do I even care anymore...

But what ever, live in the moment, plan the fucking parade. Hail Darche Vader!!

kevincrumbs said...

Watched this shit while cleaning during the intermissions and couldn't post as I had to go out to dinner as I have guests. As always, here with the last comment but I think this is how The System is supposed to work.

I don't think Dagger is supposed to fight but I loved seeing Max go to the box and give Dagger a glove tap before play resumed.

I noted that GG was complaining about JM's suit the other night. He looked a lot sharper tonight and, hey, we won!