Sunday, January 31, 2010

Sens Show Balls, Habs Damage Ligaments: Sens 3 - Habs 2 A Story of Testicles and Tentacles

Squid's gonna be out for a long time

Well take me out back and shoot me.

This team is as fragile as I've ever seen. Great way to gear into that stretch drive.

When did Moises Alou become a hab? Ok, no bones popped out of Squid's leg last night but man did I ever squeal when I saw the replay. Thanks a lot for showing some professional restraint there Benny Brunet. But let's all agree that it wasn't a pretty sight and it doesn't bode well for our Habs.

Great business for the business of rumours and controversy because without the only legitimate scorer on this team, the playoffs are riding on the coach finally putting the goalie juggling to rest and giving carte blanche to Jaro. He brought us within a game 3 years ago, before the Habs lost a heartbreaker in the season finale in Toronto; time for a correction in history.

So this obviously throws both goalies in the trade mix along with every single player on the team, in Gainey's quest for some goal production. Is there a single untouchable on this team? Even your best player can go given his UFA status this summer.

I still miss Kovy to death and want him to defect 80's style to the Habs, head case antics and all.

Pray for the ligament and call the Queen to share a royal thought for the anterior crucial ligament of Squid.

11 comments:

gillis said...

squids fried

Anonymous said...

with all due respect, 4, please no kovy talk. so clouston may have figured out the head case- let him keep him.

Number31 said...

These injuries aren't even the "dude's made of glass" type injuries. They're just sudden OMG type injuries. A puck breaks a bone. A bad fall into the side boards. A guy who has been so un-injured his whole career is subjected to a screwed up hit and boom, there he goes.

What have we done to deserve this shit?

Geez Higgy...traded to Calgary... Now we have to see Jokinen's fugly moustache over here again...

gillis said...

has panger locked himself into his own trunk?? Haven't seen/read him around here in a while. Maybe he can give us an update on the shitfest in Calgary

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

I'm sure I'm not the only one anymore who would really rather see this team dive for the bottom, and do an actual rebuild (which I'm sorry, but never really happened)then limp into the playoffs. Sell it all! Everything must go! No cash, no credit! Draft picks only!

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

Ahhh, good old then-than.

Le Douze said...

Our father, who art in the Forum,
hallowed by thy name.
they Cupdom come.
Thy will be done
at the Phone Booth as it is in the Forum.
Give us this day our daily hockey,
and forgive us our injuries,
as we forgive those who injure against us (but only after they retire, and even then, not so much),
and lead us not into Burke admiration,
but deliver us from draft pick purgatory.
For thine is the hockey,
and the scoring, and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.

Please, dear Bill, protect your son Squid in his time of pain and suffering, and deliver him from injury.

We are not worthy of your divine intervention, but humbly beseech your grace.

Amen

Robbie said...

Dear Lawyers,

Well after much consideration and soul searching me and the Mrs. have decided to file for legal separation. Yes I know it’s a pity after 100 years of being together but its clear that I must take some time to reflect on this dysfunctional relationship. It was quite clear after Saturdays trip to Ottawa that things have got to change. No longer can I handle the mental anguish of trying to predict what the Mrs is going to do on any given evening or in the case of Ottawa, afternoon.

You see the day started off good enough. I was off to the casino in Lac lemay. Yeah and OK for the record, its in Hull. Which could very possibly be the asshole of Canada. NO WAIT! Toronto owns that title hands down. Anyway that Lac as they call it which is supposed to mean Lake in English is actually an old quarry filled with water where they have this fountain and apparently when the water isn’t frozen (which is like 6 weeks per year) they have these crappy water ski shows which they ripped from one of the Disney parks. OK so back to the trip. I go to the casino early and sit down to enjoy some Caribbean stud poker. Things aren’t looking to good as the dealer keeps drawing big. Then finally I get a hand three kings and two fives. I’ve got $200 in the ante so now I got to bet double so I lay down another $400. I look over at the payout board at the table and its says full house 5 to 1 pay. I’m thinking qualify you fucking dealer prick or I’m going to strangle you like I tried to do to the Mrs. about 25 times this season plus some overtime where we choked each other but the Mrs. ended up losing. The dealer flips over his cards and oh Baby! He has a pair of nines and I’m seeing $200 more for my ante and $2000 for my bet plus a bonus payout of $250. Yes sir I’m ready to head back to see the Mrs. and I’m convinced this afternoon is going to be awesome!

So I get back to the Mrs and things seem ok but she seems a little antsy. The Mrs. is like talking for 6 or 7 straight minutes without a break. Going from end to end. Its rather fun to watch. I think the Mrs. is acting kinda weird but I just go with it. So I decide to get closer to her and then it hits me. I smell that Fucking Russian all over her. I’m sure she got banged at least on time by that fucker. But seeing as I have extremely low standards and am willing to accept seconds I don’t say a word. I just sit there with the Mrs and we decide to try and apply some of the Karmahockeysutra. Well let me tell you we get right into it and I almost immediately forget about the Russian prick. Were trying a bunch of those positions and that ‘’PP’’ position seems to be working wonders for the Mrs. But given all the info in that book I must say it was kinda blah, nothing like our trip to NJ or that NY theme night. So during intermission from our Karmahockeysutra we decide to go get some food. We sit down and the Mrs decides on calamari and as she is eating it some guy bumps into her arm and the cammalleri goes flying into the wall and slumps to the ground. It takes two waiters and a cook to carry the cammalleri back to the kitchen but it never comes back. I’m thinking, ‘’FUCK, FUCK, FUCK’’ that cammalleri cost like 5 million bucks and was the best thing Mrs. had going for her. Needless to say things spiralled down hill from there and me and the Mrs. ended up strangling each other and she lost in overtime again.

SO that’s it! I’m not doing this anymore. I figure legal separation gives me the opportunity to shop around and see what else is out there while at the same time keeping myself open for a late night booty call from the Mrs if I get desperate or if I end up regretting my decision. So gentlemen I would appreciate if you would draw up the papers so I can officially sign them. Oh and please be careful I understand she has a shrewed, goofy looking, Irish lawyer who lives in Toronto and is not afraid to shake things up and do very unpredictable things. Kinda the way I wish the Mrs…ah never mind!

Yours truly,


Fucking fed up in Montreal

moeman said...

Dear FFUIM,

If you are considering prostituting yourself remember to be careful when you eat treats that come from strangers. Also (NB- I'm no lawyer but if Harvey Levin can be one, well ...) any wedding gifts you received belong to the bride, or so my ex told me.

Whilst here, did you try the backdoor thing I suggested?

Lastly, its Gatineau.

Robbie said...

@moeman, yes i did take your advice and i tried a subtle backdoor move but i met with some serious resistance and a punch in
the face. I had lots of confidence going in but couldn't get it in.
Are you serious about the stuff belonging to her...SHIT! I really like those statues outside the house..FUCK! Gatineau, Hull isn't it all the same thing?

David said...

I'm with The Gate.

Let the tanking begin!