So tonight the Habs get a visit from the Auld Ene ... er, their age-old ... um, Ottawa and Montreal continue their city rivalry ... huh. Well, the Sens are in town. You know, those bastards that stole our beloved Kovy ... ah, fuck it. It's the Ottawa Senators. Three years ago when the Sens were steamrolling the entire Eastern Conference and owned the Habs like SLC owns the angry rant, we almost hated them. Now? They're down in the muck of 7th to 11th with the Canadiens, got screwed by that salt-of-the-earth Heatley kid, and have some bizarro injuries to contend with. Plus, they hate the Leafs. It's like the city of Montreal is looking into a cute, dull, less-French mirror!
Waiting in line while that overpaid, underworked, pencil-pushing short sleeved dress shirt wearing civil servant processes your T4130 details: 7:00 pm, at the Centre of Bell. Habs coming off the big win over Big D, Sens just shut out the Rangers (er, Marian Gaborik) to end a five game losing streak. On RDS and CBC for those with the right zip code (or satellite provider).
Hot like the underage girls dancing in the clubs across the river in Hull: Giant. Mexican. Chicken. El pollo loco goalo right now. Gomez looks like an entirely different player, Gionta is reminding everyone why he was the sexy pick for captain in October, and Pouliot is doing his damnedest to make Gui's hot start in Minny no big deal.
Peruse the names on the roster, and the Sens have all the makings of a very solid 1990's sqaud. Brodeur. Leclair. Foligno. Ruutu. Carkner. Kovalev. The only problem? It's 2010 and the Sens have the wrong Brodeur (Mike not Marty), Leclair(e) (Pascal not John), Foligno (Nick, son of Mike), Carkner (not Terry but Matt) & Ruutu (Tuomo not Christian), and the same old frustrating Kovalev. And of those guys, only Brodeur (Mike) is hot, with a shutout last game.
Cold like the quarts of 50 they used to serve at U of O's campus pub: Can we get Pleks out of here soon? Cammy sort of escapes after last game. The rest of the Habs are dragging their butts through their allotted ice time. For Ottawa Kovy followed a brilliant performance last week by going ice cold. Sound familiar? (Pop quiz time: Even given Cammilleri's prolonged slump and his aversion to scoring goals in the other 29 arenas in the league, who wants a do-over on Bob's summer free-agent switcheroo of Squid for Kovy? Fuck you, smartass. I know you aren't serious. Anyone else? Yep, that's what I thought.) Mike Fisher is leading the Sens in scoring but has dropped off the planet since getting engaged to Carrie Underwood. Yeah, I'd probably have trouble concentrating on work too if I was engaged to her.
Busted like the friendly girls soliciting folks in the Byward Market: Little Tits close but not ready. Mara might still be limping. Sens missing Alfredsson, Spezza, Michalek, a host of others. I think Laurie Boschman got dragged out of retirement to centre the second line tonight.
Our friendly, Leaf baiting, civil servicing ray of sunshine: We love SLC over at FiveForSmiting. He's like the angry old man who lived on your street as a kid, only he's flying a Sens flag from his porch and will probably shoot you full of buckshot and vitriol rather than order you off his lawn. Plus, he's funny as fuck for a Carleton grad.
Post-game adult entertainment: There's probably football on still. Watch that for the homoerotic undertones, you degenerates.