Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Giant Mexican CHicken reunited for some beach time in Florida - Panthers Preview and Open Thread

Miami! Er, Sunrise! Home of this year's Pro Bowl! Feel the excitement. Zzzzzzz. Alright, everyone to the beach!

Grab your towel and let's get wet - 7:30 PM start in Florida. It's another four-point game. Panthers are just 2 points behind the Habs in the standings, with a game in hand. Both teams coming off Saturday Night shutouts. Habs have won both games against the Panthers so far this year.

Fuck my travel agent, this hotel is only "beach access" - we're quite happy to have found our new friend over at The Rat Trick. Maybe he can put us up when we come to visit.

Hot like a Florida Beach - Jaro had a weekend to die for: 2-0-0, 0.50, .984. Slovakia for the gold! Squid of course, 5 points in his last 2 games, and some hot CHicken action, more goals in his brief Habs stint than in his entire career so far. Gio has a six-game point streak. Some props for Jaro 2.0 too. He's played much better lately. For the Panthers, really only Tomas Vokoun can be considered hot, with numbers to rival Jaro: 1-0-1, 0.48, .987 in his last 2. And he has 6 shutouts already this year.

Cold like a Florida Beach this past holiday season - Metro pointless in 5. But our really cold players, Dagger and PatCHes, are now both chilling in Hamilton. As much as one can "chill" in Hamilton. Half of Florida is cold - they aren't scoring a lot of goals. Dvorak and Reinprecht pointless in 4, McCabe pointless in 6.

Shit! That jellyfish stung me - Mara's upper body injury still not healed, and Big Tits still on the long-term shelf. Has anyone even heard about any sort of progress from him? For the Panthers, leading scorer Nathan Horton just broke his leg and is out 4-6 weeks.

Let's dive right in to tonight's Habs probable forward lines, as previewed at practice yesterday:

GMC
Squid - Pleks - MOEmaN
DarCHe Vader - Mad Max - Ben Maxwell (Mad Max 2.0?)
Urologist - Metro - Little Tits

That's, uh, intriguing. It won't last, I'm sure. No idea who the starting goalie is at this hour, but I would bet the kids' college fund on Jaro.

Post-game beach swimwear - Bikini, modeled by Alessandra Ambrosio. She's alright.

Grab a beverage with an umbrella in it and we'll see you in the comments

128 comments:

too close to toronto said...

would it be too obscure or outdated to call maxwell "the silver hammer"?

Habsfan10 said...

@ too close: Um, both?

Also, is that Panther doing what I think he's doing back there?

bea.habs.fan said...

we could call him Agent 86 for the most famous Maxwell ever to grace a TV guide

lawyergirl77 said...

+ 6 chicken toes for the giant chicken lounging on the beach beside the hottie.

Loving the striped faux-Adidas douchewear for the chicken!!!

GoldenGirl11 said...

Shit! That jellyfish stung me
QUICK! SOMEBODY PEE ON 46DD!!... never mind.

the rat trick.com said...

If I knew you were coming for the game we'd gladly host you! Just don't bring that jackass coach of yours over!

I have a bad feeling on this one. Your offence against our goaltender. Could be ugly, but then it's a Jacques Martin coached team vs. a Jacques Martin built team.

Enjoy the weather!

cucubau1 said...

Ben Maxwell
- Benny Max, Ben gay, Borg Max,
B-Max, Mini-B,

Anonymous said...

I vote for Agent 86. Guy Boucher says he's a smart player too, so Agent 86 fits pretty well. Also, it makes me think of Anne Hathaway, and that's nevera abd thing.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Maxwell skates up the ice... He's all alone!... Wait, what's he doing?... He appears to be answering a call on his skate!

Maybe the spirit of 99 will give him the scoring touch.

Anonymous said...

(Hadulf here, could never fix my account and i'm too lazy to create a new one - GG, you can read this with the Colonel accent, as usual).

1. I definitely vote for Agent 86.
2. I definitely want to be where that panther is.
3. GG, nice bit on the skate-phone!

Pepe Le Pew said...

I showed that Panther every thing he knows...

Agent 86 gets my vote for now... Is got 48 hours to show is skills.

Jaro for President...

too close to toronto said...

boo! y'alls is a bunch o' beatles haters.

Anonymous said...

Is golden girl asking for a golden shower?

moeman said...

Agent 69

hockeyzombie said...

In the spirt of LOST coming back I would nickname him "Creepy Ben" or "Creepy" for short.

Ah those are chicken feet. I thought they were dino feet.

soperman said...

@ Anonymous

"I vote for Agent 86. Guy Boucher says he's a smart player too, so Agent 86 fits pretty well."

I didn't see the Get Smart movie but Don Adams' original character was anything but smart. Lots of fodder for GG11, however, so I like Agent 86.

P.S. Find some pics of Barbara Feldon.

Pepe Le Pew said...

Jaro gets the nod... anyone surprised.

I love that Ambrosio lady, how can she have so much fun by herself.

wv:carre ... carre will be warming up the bench againe.

moeman said...

Oh Max!

moeman said...

BTW, GG is that Hamilton Island in the distance? Nice Habs logo in the sand.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Hamilton Island, uh, ya, that's exactly what that is. Yes. Hamilton, uh, island. Great catch.

Le Douze said...

bea must have read my mind, that's what I was thinking - Max Smart, to go with Mad Max.

GG, love the cat claws on Sombrero Girl. @10, you have a dirty mind; thanks for sharing.

hmanpuckfan said...

Alessandra is getting it "kitty style!" MEOW!

And, aren't some of these guys just pointless?

Habs Laughs said...

Maxwell House

kevincrumbs said...

I prefer determining his nickname depending on whether or not he sucks tonight.

lehab said...

I think the agent part is right, but we should go by his number...agent 61

Anonymous said...

i think instead of discussing a crappy player's crappy nickname maybe talk hockey, this shit is turning into a joke

HabsFan29 said...

@anon - you want to have serious hockey conversations? By all means, please, go ahead. To HIO or the HFBoards.

now let's talk Kraft Dinner again!

GoldenGirl11 said...

Easy mac is very convenient but just isn't the same as the original.

HabsFan29 said...

Agreed, it's not the same. But I do like the Easy Mac. Has anyone tried those crazy flavours though?

GoldenGirl11 said...

Triple cheese is yummy. Tomato should be illegal.

Cowboyatheart said...

I like the little KD cups, the triple cheese are really good.

Cowboyatheart said...

@HF29: The alfredo one was pretty horrible. I havn't tried the others.

kevincrumbs said...

That microwavable mac & cheese stuff should be banned. If you're so lazy that you need a microwave to make mac & cheese, well uh... you're very lazy. Yeah.

As for hockey talk, I think the strategy should be to try to score more goals than the other team.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Kevin
best kept secret is cooking the orinal stuff in the micro. 3/4 hot water for 9 minutes and no draining. Much easier than the whole gas stove/pot of boiling water for the kids.

Anonymous said...

you guys call yourselves habs fans but argue about nicknames and other bullshit, get a clue

canucklehead said...

@anon

not meaning to be rude but if you can't tell by reading these blogs and posts most of the regulars are pretty die hard fans and spend the days after a loss sulking pretty hard... go have your fun on the tsn boards arguing with maple leafs fans if you don't like it.

ps.. i really want to be rude but i will refrain.

pps.. go fuck yourself

moeman said...

Sean Gordon tries to go legaleze on the BGL to Sweden rumour;

moeman said...

Gordon should learn how to use links .

~~~

WV = paddl

GoldenGirl11 said...

@anon
I know exactly what the problem is. You need to go to dashboard and unclick the "gun to your head" box. That'll free up your computer to go anywhere else your teeny weeny heart desires.

dwgs said...

You want a clue?
Try reading some of the past posts here to see what the site is about.
If you're still confused after that, I'm sorry. For you.
And if you read other posts and you still don't like it then maybe instead of complaining you could you know, fuck off to some place where the people think like you. Life's too short to piss and moan.
wv - phophoof, which is pretty silly when you think about it, hardly the sort of word verification we should have to put off with on a sharp-edged, analytical hockey blog such as this. I demand better word verifications dammit!

Pepe Le Pew said...

Zee Anoyimous is de catch of de day…

Ronan said...

I'd like to be the first to suggest "KD" as the nickname for Habs prospect Mac Bennett (drafted this past year).

But hey, why talk about nicknames? The never-ending Halak-Price discussion, which has no bearing on Bob's decisions and inevitably degenerates into name-calling, is obviously a much more productive use of the intertubes.

WV: "meatlioli". Hmm, I dunno what it is, but it sounds delicious.

kevincrumbs said...

I think anonymous is Bertrand Raymond in disguise.

moeman said...

GG's babe on da beaCH selection looks like Maria Sharapova.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Not sure. But let's give her a nickname to piss off Anon (aka BR).

moeman said...

I'm calling her CatsMeow. (methinks Moey would approve)

moeman said...

You're CHanging my heart


One, two, three, four
Tell me that you're gonna score
Sleepless, long nights
That was what last week was for

Old and teenage hopes are alive at FHFs door
BR left us with nothing, we wanted no fucking more!

Oh, oh, oh,
You're CHanging my heart
Oh, oh, oh,
You know who you are, Pleks!

TFSweetheart do you have a bitter heart,
Who is JM's #1, he can tell them apart
Two wins in a Ja-row,
Put the Halak before the cart

Those purewool hoes with Gu:( tears in their eyes
Will RDS be scared to rub up to CHicken's thighs

Oh, oh, oh,
You're CHanging my heart
Oh, oh, oh,
You know who you are, Squid!

One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, or ten
Money can buy you back the dormroom KD that you had then
One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, or ten
Money can buy you better mac&CHeese and now Max&Ben!

Oh, oh, oh,
You're CHanging my heart
Oh, oh, oh,
You know who you are, Jaro!
Oh, oh, oh,
You're CHanging my heart
Oh, oh, oh,
You know who you are, Kirk!

(ba-ba-ba-da, ba-ba-ba-da-da)
(ba-ba-ba-da, ba-ba-ba-da-da)
(ba-ba-ba-da, ba-ba-ba-da-da)
(ba-ba-ba-da, ba-ba-ba-da-Pants!)

Ooh, those crazy Habs boys
Sometimes breaking our heart
Ooh, those crazy Habs boys
Don't fall apart

moeman said...

Devo is set to whip up some excitement at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics.
The influential new-wave innovators behind the '80s smash
``Whip It'' will perform live at a medal celebration in Whistler, B.C., on Feb. 22.


Not through being cool! (Bonus for the kidz that get the edited reference)

Jaybird said...

BlEuNuOIT Pouliot is single handedly saving my fantasy team! Now if the Mekanec could follow suit Id be hunting a podium finish....

Let's go Boys! Now is not the time to be getting fucky too many good things developing after all looked hopeless and lost ten days ago...

WV: masup

Mash it up nah do da ting ting!

gillis said...

@anonymous: You must be a FHF virgin. Very original screen name by the way.

@moeman: genious.

PS. i found some shitty whole wheat KD. It taste like cardboards covered in KD cheese stuff. Not bad actually.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@gillis
I also bought whole wheat KD by accident. The box was tastier.

L Dude said...

I really hate KD. Gotta get real macaroni and make your own cheese sauce. While the macaroni's boiling, nuke the sauce in the microwave. Melt 1 tbsp butter, add some corn starch to make a rue. Add a cup of milk and stir. Nuke for a minute. Stir. Repeat until thick. About 3 minutes should do. Add whatever fucking cheese you have around. Could be cheeze whiz, cheddar, parmasan (fresh), or spray cheese if you're in USA. Any or all combinations. Add 1 tbsp or Italian seasoning and add to the macaroni. If desired, add whatever meat or meat by-products you have lying around (hamburger, tuna, hotdogs, bologna). Fuck, now I'm hungry.

WAAAY better than KD.

L Dude said...

I was just thinking about our third line. So we have DarCHe Vader, lord of the evil empire, Mad Max - the Road Warrior (pff - doesn't play like it), and Maxwell Smart, a bumbling spy.

If we can't come up with a clever name for this line, it's time to shut this site down. Gotta head out.
Later.

LD

moeman said...

@L Dude, "If we can't come up with a clever name for this line, it's time to shut this site down."

We could call the line 'Anonymous'

bea.habs.fan said...

A Moe love the line name.

microwavable KD make sme think of frozen peanut butter sandwiches (as sold in the good old USofA)

whatever happened to enjoy good food ??? I'm with LD@Anon I come to this site for the recipes. if I want good hockey analysis, I watch Duthie and his panel or l'Antichambre (DUH)

WV bysentib the Laffs are managed in the most peculiar byzantine manner (obvisouly the habs are not)

Derek Donais said...

It's gotta be Max Factor. I don't know where the hell I dredged that up from , but it sounds good. And, just think of all the plays you can make on it!!! Oh, it's a brand of makeup? Even better! I'm sure you can apply it to your photoshop images.

bea.habs.fan said...

FHF blog is widely read.
Fine Cooking has stolen the KD thread by having a Ultimate Mac & Cheese on their cover

Moey said...

So some dipshit wants to talk serious hockey? Fuck that, I thought I was safe here, but it won't hurt to stock up on the following:

Garlic
holy water
Crucifixes
Silver bullets
Wooden stakes

Oh, and does anyone here eat Heinz canned spaghetti? Yummy with cut up 'dogs too.

L Dude said...

bea. That's kind of funny because I just scarfed down a supper to die for: Peanut Butter and Banana sandwich. And a big glass o' chocollate milk. Livin' the life baby!
Mrs. LD is at her book club (pff, and she says hockey is a waste of time), and the kids are at a friend's house Mass Effect 2-ing. Just got a call "Dad this is friggin' awesome - we HAVE to get this right away." Such passion....

Anyway, so I figured this meal just dirties one knife, which I basically cleaned off in my armpit and returned to the knife tray. Quick rinse of the glass and voila. I could dig the single life...for a while at least.

Anyway, go anon go.

gillis said...

How bout for the line: KAOS

bea.habs.fan said...

@LD I have no problem with peanut butter sandwitches. onmost day, it's my breakfast.
but buying it in the frozen section to gain time - that I don't get

@Gillis what a beaut

WV cogion - the cogion(es) on this website are MONSTERous

moeman said...

Hope CoaCH Martin has a nice Florid-à-propos suit tonight.

L Dude said...

moeman: I'm looking forward to his Miami Vice whites with pastel shirt.

gillis said...

Great. You guys got me imagining him was gonna have a sweet suit... grey purple and blue? He needs to be more like avery and get an internship at vogue

moeman said...

RDS just gave us a glimpse and methinks JM has the same suit he wore on Saturday night. Maybe they lost his luggage or he likes the CHampagne scent from the CHez Parée visit after the shutout win.

moeman said...

If we keep talking about food, fashion and funbags we are gonna drive away a lot of Anons.

moeman said...

With BGL half-way to Ikealand, might I suggest to the owners of this fabulous and fashionable blog an update the glossary entry. Maybe a posthumous one for BR?

orangeman said...

Just joining in here before bowing out for all day meetings. Is it just me, or does it feel like the Habs have already been to Florida 4 times already this year. I feel like they've played the whole SE division every week since October. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

bea.habs.fan said...

@orangeman JM likes his old playground

moeman said...

BTW, FHFers, your Agent's # is 61.

HabsFan29 said...

Just walked in. I didn't miss anything. Yay!

bea.habs.fan said...

there was the witty exchange!!!

HabsFan29 said...

misc comments from upthread:

@moe - Feist-licious

@gillis - KAOS for the win, tho moe's "anonymous" made me spit take

@moey - is there anything you DON'T put hot dogs in?

@everyone - you gotta FRY the PB and banana sandwiches. heaven. just ask Elvis

L Dude said...

my fuck this game is boring.

moeman said...

heh, ref is looking squarely at Hammer get a stick to the face and thinks what would ron maclean do.

moeman said...

Whilst waiting for the action to pick up, did anyone else read renaud lavoie's love letter to bertrand? Reads like an altarboy's diary entry about his fave priest. Thank God Mom cleaned the sheets.

HabsFan29 said...

PING!

moeman said...

I like that Weiss guy.

HabsFan29 said...

at this rate im gonna need something to keep me awake for the rest of the game

moeman said...

HF29, Put some meth in your KD or google Miranda Kerr+bikini.

moeman said...

or listen to DEVO!

HabsFan29 said...

that's some quality standing around in your own zone boys

Moey said...

HF29,

I'll take the fifth on that.

HabsFan29 said...

GORGEOUS!!

moeman said...

Pleks is the hot dog in the PP KD!

HabsFan29 said...

that was one of those PP's where if it was in Montreal, the fans would have booed and screamed "shoot" and they would have. on the road, the patience paid off

HabsFan29 said...

how's that for hockey talk, anonymous???

bea.habs.fan said...

people with insomnia have just found a cure

moeman said...

HF29, is the FHF court granting Moey immunity?

bea.habs.fan said...

and of course, the time it takes me to type they score.

YEAH. I'd rather look like an idiot than have the Habs lose

HabsFan29 said...

@moe + moey, we're in deliberations

right now i can't do anything as my ears are bleeding and im vomiting from seeing BR on the screen

moeman said...

ack! BR is already back. So much for 'decanting' his cheap whine.

orangeman said...

While I'm here in my office "getting the papers I forgot" aka checking the score, I notice Les Boys have a staggering 10 shots thus far and realize I ain't missing much. Stay awake kids.

moeman said...

For the poolies and those in all day meetings, Vodkov and Squid assisted on the PPG.

h said...

land on a small pacific island and was lucky to find a high speed connection to log on atdhe.
i can't fuck'n believe it! br on rds.
mother fucker is uglier than fuck and dumber than duh. is rds trying to scare their viewer, i think so.
thanks mom and dad for an education, i might have end up at rds.

and FUCK rds

lehab said...

@moe... Devo lyric...BR has one chromosone too many

Derek Donais said...

You should get a delay of game penalty every time you play the trap.

*yawn*

At least I have time to organize my laptop files alphabetically while watching.

Hey, let's start up with the nicknames again. At least that was interesting. Maybe @anonymous will have a hissy fit again. What about Boringus Maximus?

moeman said...

+ 1 devolution for lehab.

L Dude said...

So I'm watching Bob Mackenzie's top 30 mid-season draft eligibles. At #14 he's got some Minnesota high school kid named Bjugsted at 14 (I don't know how to spell it - it's gone off the screen). Anyway, I imagine the Habs will be all over that guy.

lehab said...

and he had a mic and he had a pen and he pissed us off at FHF

moeman said...

@L Dude, good observation. Me, I'm waiting for BRs Top 30.

moeman said...

@lehab, dat is bouncy!

HabsFan29 said...

fuck fuck fuck

moeman said...

I can't get me no, satisHabtion.

HabsFan29 said...

this game is going nowhere. did we hit double digits in shots yet?

HabsFan29 said...

yikes that was close to the end of the game

hang on for the point boys! please!

Moey said...

I saw the penalty shot, but what little fuckitty fuck caused it?

HabsFan29 said...

my fault. shouldn't have mentioned the point.

HabsFan29 said...

Moey Gorges hooking on a breakaway

bea.habs.fan said...

my policy of not really watching the game (everytime I do, they win) is not paying off.
not that I'm watching.

back to the old familiar team
OUIN

Moey said...

Why oh why do they do this to us? Give us hope, then rip our hearts out, stomp on them and set them aflame.

*wail*

Don said...

The stupid announcer for the Panthers just told the world that the "H" in the Canadiens logo stands for "Habs".

What a f#$kin moron. Fire that idiot.

Moey said...

Why couldn't they just take a big piss in the Panther's litter box?

I hate them again.

HabsFan29 said...

let the recriminations begin!

moeman said...

Not 60 minutes.

Bonsoir kidz.

hfotwc said...

it's BR fault. Fuck him, fuck RDS (reseau des stupides)

Anonymous said...

@don -- even more shameful, that florida announcer was bill lindsay, who actually wore the CH. is there a way to strike him from the all-time roster ? what a fuckstick.

L Dude said...

Yawn. Fuck.

@Moey: coincidentally, speaking of little fuckity fucks, I too saw the PS goal, but missed the hook that caused it. The coincidence? I was watching Dreger's top 10 likely to be traded. He wasn't there, but if the Stars look to be out of the playoffs, he figures THE little fuckity fuck may have a good shot at being moved. Dare to dream.

bea.habs.fan said...

are'nt we back down to 9th yet?

we'll hover on the EDge and not make it in the end.
and throw away our draft pick.
ARRGH

L Dude said...

bea. I believe that's correct. Atlanta and Florida move up to #7 and 8. Habs/Rags/B's move down to 9,10,11. Isles to 12.
The good news. The Bruins are in 11th.

L Dude said...

edit: Atlanta to 6th, Flyers 7th...whatever.

orangeman said...

So we're back to sucking? Ok, I'll just go ahead and adjust expectations accordingly.....

Ok, recalibrated to a 4-2 loss tomorrow in TB. Perhaps 20 shots if we're lucky. Habs will go into 3rd down 3-1, score early, give us hope, actually play properly for 19 minutes, then give up empty netter in last minute. They might not be consistant in any sense of the word (how can you go from what happened Sat night to this?), but at least they're predictable.

Le Douze said...

@anon (way up) - I watched the game, and read the comments on FHF, and frankly the debate about the KAOS line etc. was a lot more entertaining than the game. Even maybe the KD recipes.

I think lines 1 and 2 (CamoPlex Moan and Gino MexiChick) played two good consecutive shifts, but that may have just been a dream. (I'm pretty sure the part where Miranda Kerr was lap dancing Jaro was a dream.)

snore

- Le12

gillis said...

Cancel the parade, the sky is falling...

Anonymous said...

More depressing than the 17 shots?

Ottawa won 3-0 tonight with only 18...

Number31 said...

I prefer baking my KD. KD Casserole.

WV: PROUTE! Yea, tonight's game suffered from a heavy dose of trap beans. Stinky.

kevincrumbs said...

This'll probably be in TMS but this should make Youppi! happy, which in turn will make some of you mad because you hate Youppi!.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Just found KD Spicy Szechwan. Now THAT is sacreligious.