Thursday, January 07, 2010

С Рождеством Vodkov! Panthers game preview and open thread

Don't think we don't recognize the fact it's Christmas for some of us! Notably the Russians (and other Eastern Orthodox people I guess, what do I know) and probably the Belorussians. I'm too lazy to look this shit up. But I do know today is Russian Christmas. So Merry Christmas Andrei (and probably the Titses). May Дед Мороз bring you lots of presents. Maybe the "C"?

Hey didn't I write yesterday that I would no longer watch hockey? Why am I writing a preview then? Hmmm. Well, it would be a crime to deprive our fine readers of my witty banter, such as it is. Why don't we just ramble on a bit without any clever gimmick? Habs sucking so much does not give me any inspiration for any clever gimmicks.

Game goes at 7:30 tonight at the Centre of Bell Globemedia. Habs coming off two straight losses to start 2010, and the Panthers coming off a loss to Tronna after shocking the Pens over the weekend. Habs won the only meeting so far this season, the 5-4 New Year's Eve day game last week. Thanks to an anonymous commentor for that game, we discovered the other Panthers blog on the intertubes, the quite excellent The Rat Trick.

Hot Habs? Yeah, right. CHicken maybe? Vodkov maybe? Bryan McCabe and Nathan Horton playing well for the Cats. Over the last two games, plenty of coldness for the Habs. Let's just say all the forwards and all the defense.

Once again, we are deprived of the services of Titses. Not to worry, I'm sure that BGL can fill their shoes. Rhino still in B.C. for family issues. PatCHes and Dagger have switched lines. And your goalie will be Jaro. I'm sure he can turn aside the 40-50 shots that will be thrown his way.

For your post-game adult entertainment, in the spirit of Russian Christmas, get all your free Russian porn at the Russian Porn Blog. The term NSFW is woefully inadequate for what you will get if you click on that link.

Merry Christmas to all our Russian readers (NOT our good Finnish friend sleza. i think Sonia speaks Russian). Stoli shots for everyone!

98 comments:

eyebleaf said...

"Russian Porn Blog."

Simple, and to the point. The way life should be.

Habsfan10 said...

To be fair, us non-Russian, non Eastern Orthodox, regular Roman Catholics call this "Epiphany" (or "Little Christmas" when we feel like demeaning those other, not-the-true-Church Orthodox crazies), and we like it. We celebrated it yesterday, and don't like it enough to give out more presents, but still.

I'm not sure what my point was, but in honour of Russian Christmas and Markov, I will a) drink some of the Russian beers I received for Christmas and b) Cheer for Alabama in the BCS Championship tonight because they wear Commie red.

No, wait. Fuck Alabama and their 44 million claimed national titles, fuck them to hell. Still, the beers. The beers I can do.

Jaybird said...

Kostcos both out again...no xmas for them unless Pasquale is in the press box with blow and setting up their new stereo and A/V equipment.
The picture from a few posts back of the broken tittays with the note from Pasquale on the cast ranks right up there along with the photo of Gainey nursing Sergei in the backseat on the way to Hamilton as best of all time! Keep it up!

Big win against the kitties tonight. Just...please. Pedro has to step his game up and stop coughing up the puck in our zone.

Get a win soon so we can party!
-Pasquale

Boob Gainey said...

I've just had an epiphany, after reading that Matt D'Agostini (29 games played, 2 goals scored) is going to be on the first line tonight.

That epiphany is: we suck.

Jaybird said...

Also annoying:

Here’s where it gets interesting; Laraque has had 4 fights this season (1 win, 1 loss, and 2 draws according to hockeyfights.com) and when he has decided to drop the gloves, the Canadiens are 3-0-1. Last season, on 9 occasions when Georges dropped the gloves (7 wins, 1 draw, 1 loss according to hockeyfights.com) the Habs went 6-3.

Four fights? Georges can you please punch the timecard tonight and show up for work! Punch something, anything...Keith Ballard. Stop pissing around.

Boob Gainey said...

And eat a fucking burger for fuck's sake.

Anonymous said...

Who did he lose to?

Jaybird said...

I pulled quote from hockeybuzz.com article.

Erskine supposedly. Theoretical victory more than anything.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnqE-jEFkUw

But like the announcer says in the video Laracque (I would include Boogard) is still considered the toughest truck in the game. We really need this guy to start putting at least a little fear into other teams. What is he doing fo his 1.5 million or whatever ludicrous amount he makes?

Eat a burger and pop somebody's bucket into the third row. Its ridiculous he has completely lost his identity.

And D'Ago on the first line? I guess he really can't disappoint anymore than he already has after such a torrid start last year. Calling him for a Geno tonight.

Flying Toaster said...

So... Should we celebrate the return to this site's original purpose? i.e: Talking about the Habs sucking?

sleza said...

i appreciate this but despite my deep love for russia/russian hockey, I'm actually a Finn :) though, Russia still seems to think we're more or less part of it so i guess there's no difference... ;)

HabsFan29 said...

oh sleza you're just being polite. i know you must deep in your heart hate Russia like all Finns. my sincerest apologies, i fixed it.

moeman said...

Is Michael Whalen back covering the Habs at TSN? If so, huzzah! cuz seeing the condescending jon loo (imagine having two names that are synonymous with a toilet) 'reporting' on the Canadiens is almost as bad as listening to dave bissonnette try to stream three intelligent sentences together.

HabsFan29 said...

moe i'm in class so not watching TSN, but if you tell me you saw a Michael Whalen Habs report, i may cry with happiness. such a pro (well, compared to most everyone else at TSN)

sleza said...

HabsFan29, no, i really do like russia. i don't agree with all of their actions but there's something fascinating about that country. otherwise i would already be in jail for assaulting all the people who have thought i'm russian...

sleza said...

and i never ever turn down stoli shots...

moeman said...

@HF29, get a kleenex and click on tsn.ca's Habs video clip. Agreed on Whalen's smart, honest, ethical reporting. Bonus, he doesn't scream like most tsn'ers.

GoldenGirl11 said...

I. Love. Whalen.
That's all.

therattrick said...

Thanks for the "plug"! I read your site every day, and have you on my blogroll. Great work!

Good luck tonight. I wouldn't know what to expect of our friggin Panthers, as they seem to still have some of Jacques Martin's old traits, which I'm sure you're frustratingly familiar with at times!

GoldenGirl11 said...

@RatTrick
Good luck tonight is way too nice for this site. I think a fairer sentiment would be "may the better team's fans stay awake." I think you win.

moeman said...

NSFW in the USSR

Panthers flew in from Miami Beach
Did they get to bed that night
Oh, the blue and white barf bag was on their knee
Man, vs. leaf they had a dreadful plight

Valatenko's NSFW in the USSR
You don't know how lucky you are, мальчик
NSFW in the USSR, fuck

Emelin's been away so long he hardly knows the place
Gee, it must good to be back home
Leave it till tomorrow to unpack his case
Timmins disconnect the phone
He's NSFW in the USSR
You don't know how lucky you are, Trev
NSFW in the US
NSFW in the US
NSFW in the USSR

Well the Ukraine girls really knocked Vodkov out
They left their pants behind
And Moscow girls made OV sing and shout
Russian porn's always on my my my my my my my my my mind
Oh, come on
Hu Hey Hu, hey, ah, yeah
yeah, yeah, yeah
It's NSFW in the USSR
We don't know how lucky we are, boys
NSFW in the USSR

(The following italicized lyrics are un-parodied,
showing John Lennon's true genius
and may I suggest he get an honorary FHF membership)

Oh, show me round your snow peaked
mountain way down south
Take me to you daddy's farm
Let me hear you balalaika's ringing out
Come and keep your comrade warm


NSFW in the USSR
We don't know how lucky we are, Avtsin!
NSFW in the US
NSFW in the US
NSFW in the USSR
Oh, let me tell you honey

HabsFan29 said...

плюс один to moe

i just got in from class, settled in with a nice beverage. are we losing yet?

oh the game hasn't started.

so are we losing yet?

HabsFan29 said...

could we get that Avtsin guy ready for the weekend?

therattrick said...

Too nice, ok. I predict the Habs will skate fucking circles around the tired asses of the Panthers!

HabsFan29 said...

i predict the Panthers will skate circles around Hall Gill. and Josh Gorges. and the rest of the Habs defence

Moey said...

*cough* *cough*

I have a chest cold, can't figure out how I got it.

*sigh*

No True Blood, no 24 (yet) no Dexter.

Guess I have to watch this stooopid hackey game.

*sigh*

moeman said...

BooB says he's 'deranged' (loosely translated by yours truly.

GoldenGirl11 said...

I predict the Habs go for coffee instead of playing the entire second period.

@Moey
I have a chill myself. Shoulda worn warmer socks to Washington.

Sonia said...

It is indeed Christmas for me. Thanks for the good wishes, HF29!

But in honour of Christmas, I don't think I'll click on the Porn Blog link until tomorrow...

Anonymous said...

Laraque is now whining thathe wants more ice time. Solution?

Punch someone. REPEATEDLY. GAME AFTER GAME.

That is all.

moeman said...

Our Gals wore socks?

Moey said...

@GG,

I hope the Habs do go for coffee in the second, it might perk them up for the third.

Yeah, gotta remember socks and the mohair pasties for the next time.

moeman said...

"mohair pasties" for the obumas?

moeman said...

Slippy can't skate.

boob gainey said...

Not good.

HabsFan29 said...

we may never score

moeman said...

Too muCH passing.

boob gainey said...

We blow.

Moey said...

So now our PP is going down the toilet. *flush*

HabsFan29 said...

when does the football game start?

boob gainey said...

Poor Dags.

You have to feel a bit sorry for him.

Ronan said...

This game is surprisingly entertaining. Now if only we could score.

Laps actually looks good tonight - something in the Panthers seems to bring it out of him.

moeman said...

CHicken!

HabsFan29 said...

it's a KFC miracle!

boob gainey said...

OK, that was a damn good play by Gomez and Pouliot.

Moey said...

Well pluck me.

moeman said...

Oh oh francois GAGnon.

HabsFan29 said...

nice interview CHicken. he just looks so happy to be here

moeman said...

CHicken's goal was scrumptious.

boob gainey said...

Yikes. Philly beating Pittsburgh 5-2.

They are looking very good.

HabsFan29 said...

what a play by BGL!

no seriously!

moeman said...

A family bucket of goals would be nice.

Anonymous said...

Shoot, Gionta, Shoot!!!

Jaybird said...

Les Gars look decent tonight! Why only one goal? Metro should have buried Marian Laracque's pass though.

Georges is no longer a fighter he's going for Adam Oates status.

Moey said...

Right now I feel more confident for the win with Halak in nets. Bottom line, we need points, I don't care who gets them.

moeman said...

For your intermission viewing pleasure;

GG, Moey & friend's Washington footage found!

HabsFan29 said...

FHFlexible!

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Ok WTF is that? Singing about potato salad and doing cirque de soleil when it was just the plain old circus?? I may have nightmares.

moeman said...

Saw it boingboing GG and just had to post it.

boob gainey said...

Good point by Demers. The Panthers are Jacques Martin's creation.

God I hope he doesn't get promoted after Gainey retires.

moeman said...

@HF29, nice use of the FHF preFHFix.

moeman said...

Dale Tallon built the ChiHox, where is he now?

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Now I can't stop singing "potato salad". I guess it's better than the Brady Bunch's "sha na na na na na na na na sha na na na na".

Moey said...

@GG

Boys will be boys, both you and I know we would never be caught dead in those shoes.

moeman said...

GG, you are giving me Marcia flashbacks!

GoldenGirl11 said...

Fascinating. Perry Pearn said we need to continue to attack in the third. I'm applying for the job tomorrow.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moey
And only slutty girls bend like that in public.

chris nilan said...

@everyone

is it worth learning french just to understand these rds guys?

moeman said...

GG, Pearn didn't say anything about a ménage-à-cartwheel.

moeman said...

@cnilan, non.

HabsFan29 said...

@knuckles - no, because then you'll understand what Benoit Brunet is saying. that's much worse

Jaybird said...

I hate Martin. One goal lead and we go into a shell like a child abuse victim.

HabsFan29 said...

was that our first shot of the period?

HabsFan29 said...

one shot may be all we get this period

moeman said...

@c nil, brunet has only two things to say about any play;

1. he's convinced _______________

2. he has no problem with _____________

Also fun to mix 1 + 2

boob gainey said...

I don't understand the Brunet hate, I have to admit.

He may not have anything insightful to say, but he's not offensive in any way.

boob gainey said...

There's gonna be some goalie controversy on HI/O tomorrow.

HabsFan29 said...

He may not have anything insightful to say

he's the FUCKING COLOUR COMMENTATOR. that's his job. and when he does have an opinion it's totally homer

moeman said...

Listening to brunet is like scratching an eyeball itch with a cheese grater.

Moey said...

GG,

As if slutty girls wear full length sables (sorry Georges) with stilletos and charter a private jet. Remind me to throw in a couple of pairs of toe socks for the next trip.

Anonymous said...

Is this the part where we desperately hold on for dear life till Florida ties it with 5 minutes to go, pray that Halak keeps it tied till the end and count on Pleks serving up some Czech sausage in OT?

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moey
We do travel well together. I'll bring the flasks.

Jaybird said...

Can I have the last two hours of my life back?

Thanks Jacques;

Brunet is shit.

GoldenGirl11 said...

These kinds of games make the knitting channel look exciting. Put my 15 year old to sleep.

boob gainey said...

Brunet just said the Habs haven't had a penalty tonight.

OK, he's an idiot.

moeman said...

GG, knitting fishnet toe socks?

Moey said...

GG,

I don't want to let the pussycat out of the bag, but we have that western swing coming up, you know where we plan to kidnap Saku. Many details to be worked on.

moeman said...

Gio!

HabsFan29 said...

i think our last empty net goal was in the 70's

lehab said...

good or bad... a win is a win is a win!

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moey
Saku needs his 200th goal. We kidnap, he scores you.

Jaybird said...

Gionta: Was that you that swept that away?

Gorges: No, it was spaceman.

Gionta: Siick.

Halak: You save shatout very much!

GoldenGirl11 said...

Love the camera shot of JM as he walked to the dressing room. That puffy cheeked, heavy breath "thank god!".

boob gainey said...

Two Jacques Martin teams.

Shit hockey.

Moey said...

GG,

He just scored it this week no? But I'll give him his 201st.

WV - bantor

as in I love the bantor on FHF.

boob gainey said...

PJ Stock on l'antichambre.

Tell me BB is bad now.

lawyergirl77 said...

Holy shit... Did we just win a game? At home??

It's a Russian Christmas Miracle!!!

Oleg Petrov said...

Brunet may have nothing useful to say, but at least I can ignore him and enjoy Pierre. With Yvon, his overwhelming awfulness made it so that I couldn't even do that. Bring on Joel Bouchard while his hair is still dreamy.

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said Merry Christmas for you and your family, happy new year with happiness and peace.
."CONTOH ASKEP"