Tuesday, November 18, 2008

This is about as much stripper as you deserve, boys - WhalerCanes Game Preview and Open Thread

Hopefully with a decent win tonight they can move up to the fun areas

Waiting in line details - 7 PM start, RBC Center, Raleigh, NC. Another U.S. arena named after a Canadian bank. Are Canadian banks that good? Take your service charges and fuck yourself, CIBC. Habs have won two of their last five games. Huzzah! They still really, really suck. Canes 9-7-2 overall, but have lost 3 of their last 4. It's a suck-off! Habs won the sole matchup this year in a shootout.

Pay your cover charge to - the only Canes blog worth reading, Carolina on Ice. And thanks to our old friend Wufpirate from COI for pointing us to this Price-bashing over at the only other Canes blog worth reading.

Hot sexy Habs to watch - [checks roster] hmm, hmmm, uh, uh, I guess Tangy is still good. Big Tits had 4 seconds of exhilirating hockey Sunday night.

Skanky Habs to watch - the lot of 'em.

Hot sexy Canes to watch - Brind'amour at a point per game pace lately. That's about it. Wait, Brind'amour is still playing?

Skanky Canes to watch - Jordan Eric Staal has no goals and one assist in his last seven. Sergei Samsonov is not playing too well either. I'm SHOCKED I tell ya! Generally, Canes have some goalie issues, and can't really score much. Just like us!

Pay attention kiddies - Carbo thought that the Blues game was so good, he's sticking with the same whacky line combos:

Tangy - Kaptain K - Kovy
Lang with two pairs of Tits
Higgy - Pleks - Greek Lightning
Gui! - Bégin - El Dandy

Normally I'd complain, but anything that relegates Tenderness to the 4th line is OK in my book.

Oh, I haven't mentioned yet - Habs riding an awesome 0 for 20 streak on the PP, which is now 26th in the league. We are SO close to the bottom, I know we can do it!

Post-game adult entertainment - skip the strip club and just masturbate to this photo gallery of Hurricanes Storm Squad member Ashley.

Get you hand out of there and comment!

33 comments:

Pension Plan Puppets said...

Eric not Jordan.

Anonymous said...

i believe jordan staal has 7 goals and 4 assists...

HabsFan29 said...

Jordan, Eric, meh im confused. those Staals are worse than Sutters.

Gino Tomac said...

It would be a welcome change to enjoy my dinner this evening without a side of shit on ice.

jen23 said...

I miss having super hot Maxim on the ice! Bring him back! He'll do it all! Score, hit, stop the pucks whatever. Bring back his pretty, pretty butt on the ice!

This is my way of saying I do not appreciate Begin being dressed when hotties are eating dogs on the press gallery.

HabsFan29 said...

@jen - that's so superficial. like blogs that post pictures of hot chicks for no apparent reason.

wait, what?

WufPirate said...

I'll be content if I can stand up and do the Ric Flair "WOOOOOOOOOO" in unison with the jumbotron at least 3 times tonight, win or lose.

Phoff said...

I love how yout hate for Gui! is so consistent, but it still leaves me perplexed.

In this instance, for example, Akost (barely) makes the Hot Sexy list while Gui! gets slammed once again. He is, more often than not, in the Skanky category.

Yet, when one looks at stats, Gui! has more points than Akost. Add to that the fact that he has a lower ATOI and has about zero PP minutes, I think he may deserve some slack.

Even if I know he won't get slack from any of the FHF, it would be at least a little more fair to add Akost tot he skanky list more often.

HabsFan29 said...

@Phoff, I hear ya. But playing "4 seconds of exhilirating hockey" isn't really a ringing endorsement now, is it?

Limerick Dude said...

Ashley the 'storm squad' girl is OK. I don't know if she's worth the friction burns.....................................OK, worth it.

They should call those girls the Sugarcanes....

With a Gang Bang between a pair of Tits, good things MUST HAPPEN, never mind having saks with two guys named Alex!

It's gonna be a good night.
6-1 Habs.

ouate de phoque said...

Could Ashley be Komisarek's sister?

Got a good feeling for tonight, smells like a 6-1, 6-2, come on boys let's see what's above those knees.

gillis said...

No Erik Cole!!!!
shwing!!shwing!!

HabsFan29 said...

@ouate de phoque (awesome name btw) - she does have a resemblance to DOOM. thanks for spoiling the whole thing for me

may not be around too much tonight kids. i have a friend over and she's not much of a hockey fan. be excellent to each other and i'll sneak in when i can...

lostinleafland said...

how long before Higgins is on the 4th line?

Bryan said...

please don't lose tonight. i don't want to have to kill everyone.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

I had no idea burn wards were equipped with stripper poles.

HabsFan29 said...

my friend hasn't arrived yet so I can do the whole LET'S GET IT ON!!! thing

please god just one PP goal. is that too much to ask?

anyone else wondering what happened to Deadspin in the last 5 hours? SLC I saw your comment over there so at least someone noticed

moeman said...

Someday soon, smellavision.

gillis said...

Price= God
(so far)

Anonymous said...

power play goal-good
gang bang lang scores-good
price is looking very good-'bout time.
18 shot for Hurricanes in the first-not good.

lostinleafland said...

I hope Pierre Mcguire takes a puck in the face. Rambling on about the Grey Cup..fuckin' arsehole.

lostinleafland said...

samsonov of all the damn luck.shit.

matt - fear the collapse said...

Holy shit...I think they get worse every game...Tanguay is playing aweful tonight. How many times has he lost the puck with no pressue on him?

I am starting the think there is no turning around for this team...They really are this shitty.

matt - the collapse has begun. said...

Wow...an embarassment on national TV. I know it is only 2-1 but this is a fuckin shooting gallery...how many times can Carbo say he wasn't happy with the effort, or we lacked focus, or some other bullshit excuse? The team just sucks, plain and simple. Kovalev (our best player??) has gone back to 2 years ago, and the D sucks

fezworth said...

I was having such a good day at Adobe MAX... then I came here. Not your fault guys, but seriously. Samsonov? Ugh. This blows. I'm going to go get drunk.

chris nilan said...

think i may start cheering for the dirty leafs.

at least they fuckin' try.

orangeman said...

I didn't watch this game, but I think I'm officially off the Habs bangwagon. Sure, they started off the season with a great record, but never actually dominated any games. Now they just suck, plain and simple. The shitty thing is, it doesn't look like they care that much about being awful. That's scary. Like late-90s Habs scary.

They need a proper D-man. 48 shots? Are you fucking kidding me? And scoring was supposed to be their strength. Errr, not when you'd rather make pretty passes than put the goddamned puck on the goddamned net.

What an embarrasment. When you're happy about stealing two points from the worse team in the NHL, I can't say I expected much more today.

I thought the whole Habs starting line-up for the allstar game was funny. Now it's just embarassing. These guys should be shipped out of the city for that weekend so as to isolate their suckage from the real superstars.

Anonymous said...

SK shoot the goddamn fucking puck. fuck.

carbo? get a clue.

hope the team enjoyed watching Price cause he was the only one on the team worth watching...

lucky i watched that one tsn cause if i watched it on RDS I might have sued SK/Kovelev/turtlepleks for my money back.

fuck,

fuck,

fuck.

Gino Tomac said...

Fucking habs! They're like a cheap spank magazine. They may look good on paper but they're a fucking disaster in real life.

prairiegirlwarriorpoet said...

Carbo's 2nd period speech...
"Ok, we're ahead by 1, we've played about 12 minutes of good hockey, I think we can take the 3rd period off boys."

I'm pretty sure that's how it went.

Bryan said...

that's it... they all must die

HabsFan29 said...

apparently it was a good thing i missed just about all of this game

alwayspositive_notoffbandwagonjustyet said...

At least it was a PPGoal