Sunday, March 09, 2008

Ladies and Gentleman ... up next, the Defending Stanley Cup Champions ... "Welcome to the OC, Bitch" Game Preview

Not as big as Pronger and Getzlaf, but twice as mean.

Waiting in line details: 9:00 pm Eastern ... no Sir Sanford Fleming references today, kiddos. That's a twice a year, spring ahead/fall back affliction that Senators Lost Cojones also suffers from. (Great minds, SLC. Or, as my dad would say, idiots run in herds. Tomato, tomahto.) On the RDS, not on anywhere else, unless you're the one guy in Canada who ponied up for the Versus network. Live from the Pond in Anaheim, as the Habs tour of the awful jersey-stupid nickname division comes to a close.

Pay your cover charge to: Have we mentioned Battle of California yet? We have? Twice? Fair enough.

Hot Sexy Habs to Watch: Gui! Gui! Gui! scored for the first time in 16 games last night. Captain Koivu seems to have shrugged off his early-to-mid-season malaise and was on the scoresheet again ... although as Panger mentioned in his post-game, you can bet the kids college fund on his nightly offensive zone hook. Upset of the night? Breezer! Scored a goal, played decent, sounded totally happy to play a role as veteran dressing room/frequent press box visitor type. As much as we run the man down, he has been nothing but classy in his return to les Canadiens. Grabs should take a seat beside him every trip and take notes. Jaro's reward for 35 stops is a seat on the bench, safe from Bertuzzi, Getzlaf, Pronger, and the rest of the WWF-sized freaks of nature Brian Burke collects like stamps.

Skanky Habs to watch: Is it me, or has Big Tits been kinda quiet lately? Panger noticed Komisarek seemed to be off for a bit too ... here's hoping he was saving it for tonights dance with the Ducks four 600 combined pounds forward lines.

Hot sexy Ducks to watch: Teemu Selanne shows the effectiveness of taking the first six months off, racking up points a plenty. Scott Niedermayer decided being the best defenceman on the planet was more fun when your friends could watch, so he came back too. Ducks are a terrifying mix of speed, size, talent, and anger. Ryan Getzlaf has a Mark Messier starter kit in his locker and may soon need a nickname like "The Walking Apocalypse".


Skanky Ducks to watch: They actually lost two straight this week, and leading goal-getter Corey Perry is out for six weeks after getting his tendon sliced. Super. Now they're pissed off. Hide the women, children, and speedy wingers because someone's gonna get hurt.


Post-game entertainment: Going to UCLA medical centre to count the number of Habs being wheeled in on stretchers? Icing all your body parts in sympathy? Helping find Frankie B's spleen after Getzlaf hits him through the Honda ad on the end boards? Speed-dialing the White House to tell them you found the Weapons of Mass destruction, and they're all wearing black and orange Ducks jerseys? I'm voting for going to bed and reading the accident reports in the morning. There's a reason why no one is seriously considering an Eastern Conference rep as a legit Stanley Cup threat folks, and the train known as the Ducks is it.

Okay, let's hear your thoughts and prayers for the safety of notre Canadiens in the comments.


12 comments:

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Your Dad is a wise man indeed, HF10.

As a public service, I would like to offer the following to all Habs fans, based on our own, unfortunate, experience. Don't worry about the win. Worry about how many players will manage to stay out of the emergency room.

Oh, and prepare your strongly worded letters to Stephen Walkom, director of officiating, well in advance. I found it saves a lot of time.

Bethany said...

Aw go Habs, and Rachel Bilson is my favorite...no seriously.

Sigh, I'll be back during the game.

panger76 said...

HF10 - can't agree with your Breezer comments, but I'm hoping you are right about DOOM because he'll be key against the Ducks.

I'm also hoping for a Beauchemin-Bouillon fight, that would be classic!

And Bethany, we are big fans of Rachel Bilson as well! I'm so glad they killed off Mischa Barton's character in the last season, she was taking screen time away from the real star!!

grrrreg said...

No Pleks tonight according to HabsI/O. Well, at least he won't get injured...

Habsfan10 said...

The Frankie B's throwing down would be awesome, Panger. But why don't you agree that Breezer has been a stand-up guy in his return? I didn't claim he's played well!

No Turtleplek? Well, the Habs just went from mostly dead to all dead. Goodnight, everybody. I'm taking the rosary beads to bed and praying the team plane home doesn't resemble a MASH unit.

Kirsten said...

If Ryan Getzlaf continues to bald at the rate that he has thus far, he's going to have a Messier haircut too.

grrrreg said...

well that was fast...

Bethany said...

Hmm, I don't know, it kind of looks like he touched it, but I can't tell...

grrrreg said...

nice work from Grabs!

Anonymous said...

Just heard the interview with Higgins' dad on CJAD. Makes me even happier that Bob didn't trade Higgy despite the rumours.

Now for the 2nd. Time to bite my nails to bloodiness.

HabsFan29 said...

im back in my hotel for 10 minutes between parties in Austin. 3-1??? How bad was it?

Bryan said...

52 minutes of good hockey...

when this team learns to play 60 minutes they will be lethal.

love mark streit but he was SHIT tonight