Tuesday, March 18, 2008

A Skanky Dancer for a Skanky Team - Blues Game Preview and Open Thread

Who holds the "Queen of the Skanks" title these days? Paris, Britney, or Lindsay? Discuss.

Waiting in line details - 7:30 PM start at the Phone Booth. Habs 7-3 in their last 10. Habs can move into first in the Eastern Conference with a win. Habs can clinch a playoff spot with 2 wins this week, according to Danica McKellar. Habs have not played St. Louis since the mid-80's (or so it seems). Blues suck. They have lost, like, 49 of their last 50 games or something. Don't believe me that they suck? Listen to their own players:

"It's a joke is what it is," D Erik Johnson
"Oviously we are out of it," G Manny Legace

Pay your cover charge to - St. Louis Game Time. Basically the Blues version of FHF, top-notch snark and humour. But those guys are like, intelligent. But then again, they don't have strippers, so we're even. They do killer live-blogs of games, so check back throughout the night and taunt them in their comment section (knock wood).

Hot sexy Habs to watch - Streit and Koivu both a point per game over the last dozen. Gui! starting to really show something, albeit in his own slow, plodding way.

Quickly becoming a FHF hero - Jaro have powa. Play many matches to ween. Not making sheet games in Mantreal, will play night.

Skanky Habs to watch - Markov may have been a bit quiet lately, but otherwise not too many (Sens game notwithstanding).

Hot sexy Blues to watch - Blues leading scorer Brad Boyes has 7 points in his last 5 games.

Skanky Blues to watch - the rest of 'em. See above comments re sucking.

Not dancing due to too many vodka Red Bulls - Blues: Mike Johnson out for the season, Dan Hinote day to day. Habs: Bégin still day to day with the always humourous groin injury. Would it bother anyone if, headed into the stretch run, I mention that the Habs have really been lucky with injuries this season? No significant time lost by any significant players? Oh, it would bother you? You say I might jinx it? K, I won't mention it then.

Post-game adult entertainment establishment - Cleo's of course. The skanky club for the skanky theme du jour. But damn, it's good skank.

K let's hear your skanky thoughts in the comments.

81 comments:

Montréaliste1 said...

Brad who ?

Pop quiz: the cheapest tikts for a Blues' game are cheaper than? :

A)parking near bell center
B) a beer and a popcorn at an habs' game,
C) A CH car flag
D) A lap dance.
E) All of the above


They suck.

panger76 said...

Oh I think we have to with with E) on that one. Blues tickets are hitting bottem - right next to Expos tickets, it seems.

So I'm on a plane during the game tonight, on my way to...MONTREAL!
(From plus 10 and sunny to minus a million and 3 feet of snow. Good thing Montreal kicks Calgary's ass in every other conceivable way.) Anway, this means I'll see all you shlubs at the game on Saturday, with LG77!

As for tonight's game: Don't fuck this up, Montreal (with apologies to Stephen Colbert)

panger76 said...

@HF29 - I'll have to go with "Paris" in response to today's 'pole' question.

HabsFan29 said...

people, a beer and a popcorn at the Bell Centre is like 30 bucks

"pole question", heh

Woooo! Panger in the big city! strippers, beer and pizza for everyone!

Habsfan10 said...

I also have to go with Paris for most skanky.

Panger, I doubt Montreal kicks Calgary's ass in bull-ropin, large belt-buckle wearin', or even cowboy boots per capita. Calgary is even winning the "drunken fan celebrations on the main drag" competition over the last few years (anyone remember www.flamesgirls.com?) Not that it matters.

Anyone feel sort of bad for the Blues and their fans? The ultimate never good enough, sometimes uber-crappy, multiple bad owners team that nobody really pities like the true sad-sacks. Must be frustrating.

Go hockey!

HabsFan29 said...

Flames Girls Woooooooo!!! I miss that. here are some photos from those glory days:

http://atomic.speculation.org/Graphics/2004-05-15%20Calgary%20Flames%20Girls%20(nudity)/

10, I totally feel bad for the Blues. I make fun, but I resepct a real franchise (or maybe what used to be one). And they had a decent start to this season, just gone south.

fezworth said...

As a loyal Saskatonian, I feel absolutely no sympathy for the Blues, or their fans. Fans wouldn't be a problem if Saskatchewan had an NHL franchise. The Riders are a case in point; one cup every 20 years, but every game is a sell-out.

Blues suck.

Go Bill Hunter. And Go Hockey.

LeNoceur said...

Don't cry for us, Montreal.

There is at least a faint whiff of optimism in St. Louis these days, unless that's just the wind blowing the wrong way from the brewery (the smell of cooking Budweiser will turn your stomach). Attendance is solid, if not spectacular--although we'll see if that holds true when they finish the current 3-week road trip.

And you can get Blues tickets, from the box office no less, for $7 to some seats/games. We frugal midwesterners see cheap ticket prices as an advantage, not a mark of shame.

All that said, the Habs should win tonight 6-2.

HabsFan29 said...

Good to hear there's some optimism LeNoc.

$7???? I'm not fucking kidding, a (crappy) beer at the Bell Centre is $9.50.

lawyergirl77 said...

29 - it's not just crappy beer, it's fucking WARM beer.

But, then again, it could be Budweiser, so I suppose that things could be worse!

WORD to Panger's "Don't fuck this up Montreal".

W00t for going to the game with Panger this Saturday!!

HabsFan29 said...

LG I would take a cold Bud to the warm Molson crap any day

(ducks lightning)

which is why I always get drunk BEFORE the game

Panger and LG at the game together! Brings a tear to my eye!

HabsFan29 said...

btw kids, same line-up as the Isles game, meaning Breezer.

Milo (in STL) said...

montréaliste1 said...


Brad who ?

Boyes. St. Louis loves Boyes.


Pop quiz: the cheapest tikts for a Blues' game are cheaper than? :

A)parking near bell center

Most likely true.

B) a beer and a popcorn at an habs' game,
False. Probably a bit more expensive than popcorn, but less expensive than beer. For a popcorn and a beer, you can take yourself and a friend/concubine.

C) A CH car flag
Most likely true.

D) A lap dance.
True, but only if the stripper has teeth and two legs.

E) All of the above
See all of the above responses

They suck.
Yes, they do. But we still love 'em in St. Louis!!!

MILO

fezworth said...

Bitterness aside, it's cool that you guys can be proud of your team and get reasonably priced tickets to boot.

Anonymous said...

Here in the Ottawa area they (Sens) are still patting themselves on the back for beating the Habs, last week. Lets see our team add 2 more points and slap dem bitches. (my Blogger name won't synch dammit!)

Milo said...

fezworth said... March 18, 2008 6:30 PM
Bitterness aside, it's cool that you guys can be proud of your team and get reasonably priced tickets to boot.


I understand the bitterness. Bill Hunter was quite a guy. Of course, we didn't like him much at the time (mostly because he made us learn some geography).

It is nice to have reasonably priced tix, but the $7 seats go up to $10 or $11 next season, so even with the Blues currently sucking worse than last year, we're gonna take it in the wallet (backside) for a mediocre team.

The Blues have no shortage of fans, (a lot of fans were very turned off by all sides in the lockout and are yet to return). Not to mention the last ownership group and its fire sale (Pronger, for example).

This year shows that with the passing of the torch, St. Louis fans will return, even though on-ice it is not quite there yet. A lot of us want in on the ground floor of a great thing.

We are a patient group of diehards -- after all, since inception in 1967, we have not won it all. Yet, we still continue to show up and yell, "Fraser sucks."

HabsFan29 said...

"Fraser sucks" - there is something all fans can agree on. except Leafs fans. we can never agree with them.

Let me take a moment before the action heats up to wish a warm welcome to all our visitors from StLGT. lap dances for everyone! Long live Bernie Federko!

msevigny said...

St. Louis isn't a total writeoff as a team, they have a decent goalie and lots of good young players, and they're in the Stamkos Sweepstakes, so that'll help. Maybe because I see them play the Canucks a few times a year and they always give Vancouver tons of trouble.

I forsee a Habs win tonight, but not without a couple Brad Boyes goals. He's the best player in the NHL the Eastern Conference has never heard of. Hell, even the other Western divisions aren't very familiar with him.

HabsFan29 said...

@msevigny - i agree, Blues could be a decent team. at the beginning of the season people had them pretty highly rated. it's gone to shit, but young talent is still there

HabsFan29 said...

k we've got St Louisers (St Louisians? St Losers? St Louisites?) lurking so this better be good

we're fucked

four whiskeys down, 6 beers to go. then i'll feel better

Anonymous said...

Hey Habs fans and everyone with funny accents.

This is Brad Lee from St. Louis Game Time. Feel free to stop by the live blog. We welcome everyone, even Quebecians.

www.stlouisgametime.com

HabsFan29 said...

Koivu a penalty in the offensive zone. there's a surprise

HabsFan29 said...

kill me

HabsFan29 said...

k where's my meth?

HabsFan29 said...

cross check OR dive. can't have both.

HabsFan29 said...

Fucking damn good work by that line. who was on that line? i cant kkep track with Carbo

HabsFan29 said...

solid ending to the period. first 16 minutes, bleh.

Damion, if you're out there, I admit Gui! was our best player that period

Bryan said...

7 dollars...jesus. calgary hitmen 'cheap' tickets are like 23 bux. and that's 2nd level !

flames have sport chek zone tickets for 30 plus all the usual ticketbastard taxes

msevigny said...

The Canucks start at fifty. I think I paid 120 for two nosebleed seats last time I was at GM Place.

HabsFan29 said...

jesus we are crap here.

that is all

CheGordito said...

Been travelling and this is the first game I'm watching in 3-4 weeks. Montreal looked good in the standings, but they're getting schooled by St. Louis. Have they been playing like this for the last couple of weeks?

HabsFan29 said...

CheG you have not picked a good game to come home to. we have played much better than this.

Damion said...

fucking FSN Midwest feed has former Blues heavy Noel Picard on, who, along with the commentators, have yet to make a single -- not kidding -- a single comment about the game being played. NOT a fricken word. "How old do you think Beliveau is" "Ho, I dunno. maybe 77." And the camera flashes and fixes on Beliveau WHILE PLAY IS GOING ON.

Fuck the Blues and their crappy TV coverage. YOU ALL SUCK.

matt - ftc said...

hf29, i feel that this has actually become a somewhat disturbing trend...see Habs vs Coyotes, Kings, Ducks, Sens, Islanders, did I miss anyone?

HabsFan29 said...

matt you got them all. im in total denial i think

Yes! but we have a lead, somehow

and as i type we lose it. we deserve that

CheGordito said...

Yeah, I had hoped that players being knocked down and even falling all over the ice by themselves, blinking on shots after scoring a goal, and generally looking foolish was an exception to the norm.

Of course, it's a night for funny goals. I'm sure we'll all see Teskala's blooper many times.

HabsFan33 said...

I miss the bruins.

HabsFan29 said...

Breezer-Hamrlik on the point of the PP. kill me.

matt - ftc said...

john davidson looks about 10 years older than when he was on MSG network.

HabsFan29 said...

33, you got em twice this week. can we sweep an 8 game season series?

not at this rate

matt - fear the collapse said...

wow........
way to battle for first boys.......looks like my adult safe hockey league team out there.

HabsFan29 said...

jeebus we suck. no defense. not much offense either

CheGordito said...

Dear Hockey Gods,

I don't usually ask for wins except against Ottawa New Jersey, and Toronto. I'm not even going to ask for a win tonight. But please, make all the remaining MTL losses OTLs?

Thanks!

matt - ftc said...

not slaggin on pleks, but he must lead the league in faceoff ejections.

Milo in STL said...

Worth Repeating:

montréaliste1 said... Brad who ?
Boyes. St. Louis loves Boyes.

CheGordito said...

Yay Bouillon finally lands a successful hit!

Damion said...

A question (to distract us from the poor hockey display): is that a graphic of a habs goalie (Roy?) hoisting the cup on the right side of Halak's goalie mask?! That's as stupid as the "Ole" chant 10 minutes before the end of the game at the phone booth, except dumber.

HabsFan33 said...

I miss the old days when the closing the hand on the puck was somehow called a "delay of game" penalty.

HabsFan29 said...

Milo I knew who he was. i wouldn't have taunted. fuck.

HabsFan29 said...

Damion I think it is. sacrilege

Milo in STL said...

HabsFan29 said... Milo I knew who he was. i wouldn't have taunted. fuck.

Now all of your Hab friends know, too.

Heh, heh, heh.

Damion said...

it's like touching the confrence trophies before the cup. YOU JUST DON'T DO THAT.

How do you say that in Slovak? "Don't fuck the goat with testes?"

matt - ftc said...

14 shots after 40 minutes...sounds like my university days.

HabsFan33 said...

This is bad. Not Michael Jackson - with a slight shade of white lighter, and with just enough blackness to keep me entertained - Bad.

This is Eric Roberts in the Coca Cola Kid bad.

HabsFan29 said...

if Carbo screams at them in the room between periods, do they listen? let's fucking hope

Milo in STL said...

HabsFan29 said... if Carbo screams at them in the room between periods, do they listen? let's fucking hope not

HabsFan33 said...

time to find out. Gulp

I always hate when people write "gulp". That's not even close to the sound it makes. You know?

matt - ftc said...

So, can we agree that this "not changing a winning lineup" policy can be changed?
Just because Smolinski and Brisebois happened to be in the lineup during a win doesn't mean they actually had anything to do with that win. If Carbonneau doesn't see O'Bryne and Lapierre as an improvement to the lineup over those two then he must be crazy.
I don't see why it always has to be Grabovski or Lapierre, why can't it be Lapierre over Smolinski? Lapierre is a much better shutdown guy at this stage. The only thing that shows from Smolinski's "veteran experience" is his age.

HabsFan29 said...

matt it NEEDS to change. fuck

never mind it drew a penalty, why was Slowinski out with Kovy and Big Tits?

matt - ftc said...

YES!!! Way to go Grabs

HabsFan29 said...

THAT's Habs hockey. One Euro making a nice pass go another Euro who buries it

fuck we're lucky to be tied

fezworth said...

@33: It's a tough sound to write, isn't it? How would you say it should be done?

thees teem sheet. Coach sheet. team haff no balss, play like leetle grls. I play perfect, teem make mistake, 3 goals behind my ass. I het zis sheet teem. I no beeleev game only tied. thees sheet. I see Breezer, he play sheet of all.

matt - ftc said...

time for the number 1 line (kovy, pleks, big tits) to get some points.

HabsFan33 said...

@fez: you know what it's all about.
I should ask you to write the next one!

HabsFan33 said...

@fez: it's more of a "mgp!" than a gulp don't ya think?

HabsFan29 said...

#1 PP my ASS

fezworth said...

@33: I would even drop the 'p' at the end. There's no 'puh' sound at the end of a gulp, because it's all done with the throat... Not even a stop with the lips. It's probably more like 'Mg'. Which is probably why people write 'Gulp'.

I'd love to write sometime. But it'd be fun doing one 'from the bench'. I'd love to imagine what Halak thinks of Carey's play style.

HabsFan29 said...

Habs don't even deserve a point imho

CheGordito said...

HF29 - It's not about deserve, it's about getting lucky! And to be fair, they do have more shots on goal.

fezworth said...

@29: Isn't that the mark of a good team? That they get points when they don't deserve them? Maybe that's lucky.

HabsFan29 said...

a good team plays 60 minutes, 40 on a bad night. we played maybe 20

fezworth said...

wow. Breezer went down low and completely failed to keep the puck. Grabs saved his ass letting him get back to the point

CheGordito said...

Good point - I guess it's a mark of St Louis as a bad team they couldn't capitalize on the Habs' very poor play.

HabsFan29 said...

hey, 90 points.. still, we play like that in the playoffs and we get swept

oh saku

HabsFan29 said...

like a said, we didn't even deserve a point. meh.

matt - fear the collapse said...

brutal....this was supposed to be a gimme.
terrible games of late (despite our record), this is a bad time of year to be playing llike this. better get the house back in order soon...

Milo in STL said...

Thanks for the two points, Habs fans!

/Good luck in the playoffs.
//We won't be seeing you there.

matt - ftc said...

3-7 against the west this year. those 3 wins were against non-playoff teams and we still got outplayed in at least 2 of them.
Thankfully we don't play in the West.

HabsFan29 said...

hey 33 what do we do for a shootout los in the standings? i still don't undersatnd. and I am a purist

lawyergirl77 said...

This team is sheeet when playing against other sheeeeeeet teams.

It was like poo vs. poo out there tonight. The Bell Centre hasn't been that stinky since the circus came to town...

HabsFan33 said...

@29: the s.o. loss means that at the end of overtime we were tied. It would have been a tie game without the shootout.