Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The Shittiest First Place Team EVAH - Blues 4, Habs Suck (SO)

WARNING - PARENTAL GUIDANCE SUGGESTED. RANT BELOW CONTAINS LANGUAGE THAT MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME. READER DISCRETION ADVISED.

The phrase "Habs suck" is bandied about quite often around these parts. Mostly by me. And as recently as The Morning Skate (twice!). Because I get totally distraught (and drunk, and on meth) when the Habs are losing, my brilliant powers of speech, once used with aplomb to a degree of success in the courts of our fine city, are reduced to those of a 3rd grader. Or a Leafs fan.

But really, today that phrase is apt. Apt, I tell you! Yes, the Habs are in first place in the Northeast. Yes, we are tied with the most points in the Eastern Conference. Yes, we got a point last night. You know what that means? Fuck. All.

Come playoff time, if the Habs play like that, it's four and out. I don't give a shit if we play a tumbling Flyers or Sabres team, or god forbid a rising Washington team with HueT at the helm. You cannot win playoff hockey only playing 20 fucking minutes. Fuck, you can't even beat one of the shittiest teams in the league.

Don't believe me? (How could you not believe me? I'm a blogger!) Let's take a sampling of comments from regular readers in the open thread last evening:

"brutal....this was supposed to be a gimme. terrible games of late (despite our record), this is a bad time of year to be playing like this. better get the house back in order soon..."
- Matt (Fear the collapse)

"It was like poo vs. poo out there tonight. The Bell Centre hasn't been that stinky since the circus came to town..."
- lawyergirl77

Fuck this shit. Eight games left before the playoffs. We better get our asses in gear. And fuck you Carbo, and your "we win and keep the same line up" philosophy. Do some fucking coaching. Stop sucking Breezer's dick and get him out of there. Mad Max was playing fucking great, put him back in. Teach the team how to fucking cover players in our own zone. That's supposed to be your fucking specialty.

Wake the fuck up, boys. Stop listening to the hype, and fucking play hockey.

12 comments:

Chuck V. said...

Re: your use of the word "fuck."

Gratuitous: yes. Accurate: even more so.

Inmate4 said...

When I was 10 years old, my dog got hit by a car. (I was watching 'Greatest American Hero' - what a show!) Anyway, watching that game last night reminded me of watching Rocky dragging her (yes, her) broken body off the road, the pain, the sadness...and the desire to put a bullet in somebody's head (Breeze, Slowinski - take your pick).

WHY THE HELL ARE THESE GUYS PLAYING WHILE MAX AND RYAN SIT!!!

bob said...

out played by a bunch of hung over teenagers

Habsfan10 said...

Still, nice to see Brad Boyes making the Leafs Owen Nolan trade AND the Bruins Dennis Wideman trade look even more ridiculous. I love that the two teams I hate most both had this guy and fucked it up.

HabsFan29 said...

ah 10, always looking for the silver lining.

@inmate4 - your story has made me weep. much like the Habs performance

kill71 said...

honestly im not sure whether or not carbo pays any attention to how his players play on the ice. (PLEASE SOMEBODY IN MONTREAL KILL BRISBOIS...or make him retire by breaking his knees) I always get a cringe in the bottom of my stomach when I see 71 on the ice...OH MAN! When he's not playing we play soo much better. But still overall we need to get our heads out of our asses and play one game at a time, cause even though we are playing great...we're not even really close to being a great team...one more thing for all the people in montreal...can we please stop with the ffffin Ole, Ole, Ole, chant in the 2nd period??? Maybe if its the last minute and we're winning by 2 or 3 goals, but till then please STOP IT! all it does is annoy our players and piss of the other team to shut the fans asses up! So i plead for you to think before you chant...please spread this message i beg all of you, for our playoff lives!!!

HabsFan29 said...

we have a winnner for my new favourite username!

Baroque said...

I think (although I haven't counted) the Mickey Ribs fuckity-fuck post had more cussing in it.

Maybe Brisebois was in the trunk of one of those newer cars - my trunk has a glow-in-the-dark handle so anyone trapped inside will be able to get out.

Someone needs to cut off the emergency trunk release so he can't escape.

Brian said...

They moved up the time of our pickup skate from 9:30pm to 8:00pm last night, so I decided to show up. I'm not sure you could say I played, but I did show up. Were they really that bad?

HabsFan29 said...

@brian - yes. aginst a mediocre at best team, it was bad.

Brian said...

I guess they're still a long way from Cupville then?

Topham said...

Maybe we should all ride this out until the manic phase of our personalities kicks in...

I'm no expert either, but I think every team plays bad games. If there was a time to get it out of the way it would be now and not in a month. Strangely, I'd rather struggle and still get a good playoff spot than ride in on an 11-game win streak like NJ did two years ago.

Rememebr if they make the playoffs, we willask the Habs to play well for 2 1/2 months on end. Could they do so for 3 1/2? I think the answer is in your post somewhere...