Thursday, September 27, 2007

The Morning Skate for Thursday, September 27th Presents No Sex in the Champagne Room: The FHF Season Preview Presents Mike Komisarek

Bullet points for what you missed while having nightmares of the FHF blending two features into one and like, blowing your mind, dude...
  • Today's training camp report looks at Josh Gorges and Ryan O'Byrne. Can we keep both with the big club?
  • Stanley Cup hits London in advance of the Ducks-Kings this weekend. No one cared. If you going to have games in Europe, you know there are countries that play hockey there, right Bettman?
  • Chicago Black Hawks owner Bill Wirtz died yesterday at age 77. There are very few deaths you celebrate, but I have a feeling Hawks fans have a bit if a smile.

Alright, the FHF season preview continues... right now!

FHF, in conjunction with Telefilm Canada and StripperCorp, is pleased to offer our Habs season preview with no cover charge. For FHF virgins, you may want to review our trademarked Stripperriffic Rating System before tipping the bouncer.

Wow. I cannot believe I have a chance to post a photo of one of the most awesomest hockey helmets ever. I love those things.

I also may have a bit of man-love for the the guy under that helmet. Might as well know that up front. This year I guess you'd have to call him the 2nd D behind Markov. But is he the tits? Speaking of...

The tits - a really, really solid defensive D who seems to be getting better every time he steps on the ice. Size! On a Hab! 6'4", 240+ pounds, and thank god, he's not afraid to throw it around. 4th in the league in hits last year. Did I mention he's a really, really solid defensive D? +7 last year led Habs D and was second on the team. Durable, playing all 82 games last season. Put in major minutes too. Not afraid to step in front of a shot. Not afraid to drop the gloves even with the league's heavyweights. Skates well for a big man. Can move the puck up the ice or pass out of his own zone. Decent shot. Did I mention he's a really, really solid defensive D? I guess I did.

The cellulite - never gonna be mistaken for Bobby Orr. 19 points last year was a career high, though I remember a couple of nice shorthanded markers.

The armpit hair - sometimes his rough hits and fights are just poorly timed, putting him in the penalty box when he needs to be on the ice. That annoys the shit out of me. But at 25, I think he'll learn.

In the VIP Room - I wasn't fucking with you when I said he seems to be getting better every time he steps on the ice. I have watched him get more comfortable out there every game since he started playing regularly with the Habs. And defensemen don't peak at 25 - he's still climbing the hill of potential. Could be a top 5 defensive defenceman for a decade to come. I'm giddy. Alright, there is man-love and it's making me sick.

Chez Parée Bound? In a restored classic V-8 American muscle car. Let's just hope he doesn't have a fight with the bouncer.

Signature Song - Hit Me With Your Best Shot

8 lap dances (out of 10) - I'm leaving him room to get that 9 or 10 in the 2008 FHF Season Preview (Live from The Spearmint Rhino Las Vegas).

The 4 AM Smoked Meat Sandwich - as the rest of the FHF emerge from private booths today, they'll have a smoke and tell you what they think.

HF10 - When was the last time we had a someone that huge who made opposing forwards really think twice about their route to the net? Komisarek's the only Michigan grad this Notre Dame fan likes.

HF33 - Komo can put his stamp on this team this year. He is one of only 2 players with the Habs to raise the crowds out of their seats with board cracking hits. The other one is soon to be previewed...This season will allow Komisarek to audition for the role of a new Captain K.

Panger - Last year there was talk about trading him to the Isles. At least Gainey's inaction paid off on this occasion, cause Komisarek is going to become one of the dominate physical NHL defencemen by the time everything is said and done.


Jordi said...


He is pure awesome. There's nothing that can really be said about it. Stay at home D, brings back the basics. Unfortunately he's not puck moving D and fails to do anything beyond his defensive zone.

But who cares when he looks that good? (blocking shots of course)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the morning combo 29. Nice twist.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the morning combo 29. Nice twist.