And Now A Look Back on the Season That Meant as Much as a Flea Fart in a Hurricane

Politicians signed 27 peace treaties in the middle east.

Oprah Winfrey has been on approximately 46 different diets.

My dog Keno was spayed when she was 2 months old.

The Habs played a bunch of exhibition games in the last couple of weeks.

So how much did it all matter in the end? (See title and picture and, while you're at it, chart actor pictured above and his path to adult glory after an explosive childhood debut).

The war rages on. Oprah's still a chunk jar and my dog humped my leg and anything resembling a canine penis for 12 long but curiously interesting years.

A few players got to see their names in the papers for a couple of days, even played a few shifts in some meaningless games while the veterans could be seen groaning with boredom on the bench. Most of them will never be heard of again. Nobody will ever remember the exhibition standings and all of us will be asking whether or not Pierre Boivin should stand trial for charging full value for exhibition tickets.

On a positive note, this pre-season did leave us wanting more of a few pleasant surprises.

P.K. Subama delivered 100 cents on the charismatic dollar. While he did throw some errant behind the back passes around, Subama provided the energy and hope needed to re-establish the Habs' credibility abroad. Next year, yes he can.

Maxi Pack always played with wings, and proved to slip in comfortably on the various lines coach Carbo improvised on the bench. Can he make it back to the big stage come next fallen body? Depends.

Carey Price has discovered steamed vegetables and has displayed new skill and agility while leaving the blandness of his persona impeccably intact. So much for those who thought that his whisper was due to the fat lodged in and around his vocal chords.

Kovy's skills are alive and well, so for now he's still New Kovy, not Old Kovy, unless he's really now Old Kovy because New Kovy was last year and now that it's this year, it's old news thus making him Old Kovy, but that seems pejorative and out of touch because Old Kovy as we knew him was Bad Kovy and today he is good Kovy, making him Good Old Kovy.

Saku Koivu was as injured in the pre-season as he has been in the regular season. Yet still lead the team in scoring despite having played 2 periods. No, no that was before. These are the good Habs...I've gotta start getting used to this...

I'd rather watch a documentary on an autistic ant colony, narrated by a mute guy, than see this pre-season go on. I'm a very emotional man and I require life with purpose, depth and meaning, and games that count for my hockey pool to make me wealthy beyond my dreams. No more games with unknown Québécois players getting a try at the shootout. No more numbers 75, 92, 58 and 83 on the bench, that just looks weird, and un-hockey like.

Thanks to Subama and Maxi-Pacs for their entertainment value in an otherwise painfully irrelevant process.