Friday, October 24, 2008

Bob is a radical thinker

So Bob shocked the GM meetings yesterday with a radical approach to boost offense. From LeBrun:

The third idea, and perhaps most interesting of all, is an idea from Montreal Canadiens GM Bob Gainey. He proposes that players in the defensive zone must have at least one skate on the ice when blocking shots. So, instead of having players collapsing all over the ice and sliding all over the place, Gainey believes this would allow for more pucks to get through from the point and, hence, create more scoring chances.

The sight of a $9 million forward sliding to block a shot in the Playoffs with the potential to get hit in the balls is one of the highlights of my television watching experience. If they take that away from me, what's next? No more porn on The Movie Network after midnight? Just make the fucking ice bigger already.

We are unaware whether Bob's radical new thinking extends to his potential trading of everyone on the farm plus Higgy for a certain oft-injured Wild forward.

12 comments:

eyebleaf said...

I heard about this "idea" this morning, and while I do respect Bob Gainey, it's one of the dumbest ideas I've heard in a long, long time.

I'm with on you making the ice bigger. 100%.

fezworth said...

Dumb? Nay. This is the final piece of the puzzle for a plan of future NHL domination. Consider;

1. In May 2003, Bob Gainey became the GM of the Montreal Canadiens. Why Montreal? Some would say that it's because of his legacy here. But this overlooks the fact that it's known that living at high latitudes increases bone density, particularly among male athletes aged 17-35.

2. In 2004, Bob Gainey signed a small R&D contract with Nike Hockey, related to the development of the Nike's undercover "Concrete" line of shinpads.

3. In the second half of the 2005-06 season, Gainey assumed coaching duties of the Montreal Canadiens. Immediately afterwards, there was a spike in the number of shots blocked by the Habs. Could they have been wearing Nike's GaineyPads (as they were now known)?

4. In the intervening years. Gainey has quietly stacked the Habs' roster with the best stand-up-shot-blockers in the game. We're all familiar with names like Alex Kovalev, but who here realised that Guillaume Latendresse has been measured to have the thickest shins in Pro Hockey?

And so we see the plan come to fruition. By having the NHL implement the 'No Lying Down To Block Shots' rule, Gainey is attempting to quietly ensure that the Canadiens are the dominant force in hockey for the next 10 years.

Doogie2K said...

Why is everyone obsessed with making the ice bigger? I thought we established at the last two Olympics (and in decades of European league play) that it doesn't work like that.

Anonymous said...

am I the only one who thinks scoring does not need to be increased. 3-2 and 2-1 games are in my opinion the most exciting. If I wanted high scoring, I would start watching basketball. When the goals are hard to come by, players actually put effort into their games to try and get that special goal. I usually shut off games when they score every time thye go down the ice.

HabsFan29 said...

@fezworth - i am intrigued by your ideas and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter

@doogie2K - well, they've tried everything else!

@anon - now that is radical thinking.

fezworth said...

@HF29 - A subscription to my newsletter comes free with every pair of GaineyPads(tm).

I don't think they'll ever go for making the ice bigger. How many rows of premium seats would you have to cut out of the arenas? No no... if anything, they'll make the ice SMALLER... And make it 4 on 4 all the time.

Habsfan10 said...

The NHL blew their chance to go to Olympic sized ice in the early nineties ... look at all the new rinks that have been built since then. I wonder if a team would gain any advantage if they played on Olympic sized ice at home ... 41 games a year when your opponents are all fucked up by the angles and size?

Habsfan10 said...

of course, that might be negated by the fucked up way that team plays on the road.

Doogie2K said...

well, they've tried everything else!

Lies. They haven't tried bevelling the posts inwards yet. That's two or three posts a game that go ping-yay, as opposed to ping-shit.

Or, you know, leave it the fuck alone and let the boys play. Stop calling the ticky-tack bullshit, and start calling the egregious head shots (see: Bitch Sauer v. Big Tits).

saskhab said...

The NHL blew their chance to go to Olympic sized ice in the early nineties ... look at all the new rinks that have been built since then. I wonder if a team would gain any advantage if they played on Olympic sized ice at home ... 41 games a year when your opponents are all fucked up by the angles and size?

I don't think there should be a standardized ice surface. If Boston wanted to continue playing on the smallest ice surface in the NHL, then let them. They build the team that best suits their rink. Home ice advantage is actually a good thing... it puts butts in the seats.

If the Oilers want to take advantage of their reputation as a skating club and make an Olympic size surface for their new arena, then let them. Anywhere between Boston Garden & Olypmic surfaces should be permitted.

copyranter said...

Agreed, bigger ice surface. That's all that's needed...Ok maybe a pinch smaller goalie equipment.

Flying Toaster said...

How about landmines? What does everybody think about landmines under the ice surface? Player skates up to it and BOOM! You have a 3 on 0 turnover for the survivors. No? >.>

It would make MY day anyway.