Tuesday, June 30, 2009

FHF 2009 UFA Preview/Transformers 2 Review



Maybe she could convince Jay Bo to come to Montreal...

So much promise, but such a let down. Still, it could have been worse.

That's how I would describe Transformers 2 and how I anticipate I will describe the Habs UFA situation in a few days.

I admit, I'm a Transformers fanboy. I cried when Optimus died in the cartoon movie. What can I say, blame my parents for letting me watch back-to-back Transformers and GI Joe for 5 straight years of elementary school instead of forcing me to go outside.

Luckily I was a few years older when the Habs traded St. Patrick.

The first live-action TF movie was pretty good. I certainly didn't hate it - except that I thought it was a slap in the face to not only make Bumblebee a Camaro, but to see him punking an old Beetle. I was excited about this new one, and not just because of Ms. Sexy and her, um, assets, but because the studio apparently handed the producers a blank cheque to draw up a boatload of robots instead of the handful afforded in the first film.

Kind of like the potential offered by having the most salary cap room of any team in the NHL.

The TF producers had great characters to choose from between all the toys produced for the 80s cartoon and all the follow ups. Just like the Habs have a bunch of UFA's to choose from.

Most troublingly, though, TF2 did exactly what I didn't expect, and it didn't turn out the way I had hoped.

Anyhoo: guys, go see it for Megan Fox. Ladies, umm, enjoy the popcorn.

Defence

Jay Bo - sweeten the $5M that Komo wants. I love him, but the Habs should not pay more than $3.5-4M per for Komo. Ohlund if probably the second best option, but if so no more than 2 years cause I see a Hamr-like decline on Mattias' horizon. Johnny Oduya might be a good fit, but I recall reading Eklund say that it was "certain" that he would end up with the Habs, so that won't happen. Please not midget Beauchemin. Being tough doesn't change being a dwarf. If they need to sign another french guy, spend less on MA Bergeron (but Weber should have that job). Zubov should retire already. If Komo goes, McKee or Scuderi might be options for a defensive D-man. I have seen Adrien Aucoin play for Calgary. Do NOT sign Adrien Aucoin.

Wingers

Hossa - he's the best, but for the money he wants, keep Kovy and Tanguay. If not Hossa, then Havlat is #2. As for Gaborik, but you might as well sign Guy Lafleur for the amount of icetime he'll see if he signed in MTL. Gaborik wouldn't hit 20 games a season in a Habs uniform. Gionta is too small, Guerin too old, Bertuzzi too much of a sourpuss a-hole, and something about Callammeri just seems fishy to me. I say he's this summer's Jason Blake - a big payday after a fluke season. It sucks that it's inevitable that Eric Cole would suck as a Hab.

For depth wingers, if they sign anyone I would imagine it'll be Greek Lightening or Ian Laperriere. (Somewhere Pierre Houde's tongue just shivered.)

Centre

The only #1 centre out there is Henrik Sedin, and the Twins are going to eat up a stupid amount of someone's cap space for the next decade. It better not be MTL. Nick Antropov is the 2nd best option (Saku not included). No.

Trade please.

Goalies

If Halak goes in the aforementioned trade, I'd love to see Manny Legace back up TFS(tm) - or Roloson if he would take a crazy pay cut. Mathieu Garon will be out there, too.
So what are you predictions for UFA day?

52 comments:

Young HF29 said...

yes! I've been saying we need more Megan on this site. look at her! fantastic! w00t!!!!

oh, and good hockey analysis Panger I guess

Habsfan10 said...

There was hockey analysis? I didn't even notice there was text in that post.

MeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMegan ... I gotta go lie down or something.

Beta169 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Beta169 said...

Megan Fox is hot. And from Tennessee. I just can't get over the fact that she has toe thumbs though. That's all I think about when I see her now.
Thumb transforms into a toe

Young HF29 said...

@Beta - I will not have you disparage Megan with visions of toe thumbs!

Here's a solid Megan photo where her thumbs are conveniently in her pants and not visible

Habsfan10 said...

Goddamn you, Beta169. Goddamn you and the Vols to a lifetime of beatings on the Third Saturday in October!

I guess we now know the answer to the question "how mad does an ND fan need to get before he wants Alabama to win" is a) whenever they play Miami for the National Championship and b) when a guy from Tennessee ruins Megan Fox.

Bastard. I hope HF29's Gators beat you too.

WV: butain - As in, I need to get a butain lighter and burn the image of that thumb out of my head.

moeman said...

The thumbless Megan is a wonderful woman.

L Dude said...

Umm, yeah, maybe my standards have lowered over the years (shrug), but I could get past the toe thumbs for a crack at that.

Let me go check with Mrs. LD to see if she'll let me try.

Beta169 said...

@ 29 and 10

LOL. That's a lot of vitriol over something as small (literally) as toe thumbs. Please, no displacment of anger from Bob Gainey to me. We're all in this together.

And the hating on my beloved Vols! They'll be back on top soon enough. Just remember, the best Clausen will always be Casey. For the record, no-one should EVER want Alabama to win. Seriously though, is US college football as popular in Canada as it is here in the states? I never would have guessed.

Young HF29 said...

is US college football as popular in Canada as it is here in the states?

well, it's more popular than Canadian college football, but that ain't saying much. 10 and I are fans because we have rooting interests

Habsfan10 said...

@ Beta:

I think it's pretty well me, 29, and my hardcore Catholic in-laws.

Actually, the border towns in Southern Ontario (Windsor, Sarnia etc) are pretty football-mad. Mostly Michigan or Notre Dame fans. The Michigan fans are idiots, because Michigan sucks. In Toronto we get our own bowl game in the Rogers Centre between something like the 6th place finisher in the Big East and the 3rd place finisher in the MAC, for what it's worth.

Habsfan10 said...

@ Beta:

My brother-in-law had nothing but praise for the Vols fans he met at ND. Neyland is a stadium I'd love to see a game in. Much better than 29's ugly swamp.

Beta169 said...

Interesting guys. I've always imagined that college football in the south, and especially in SEC towns is quite similar to hockey in NHL cities in Canada. The media scrutiny of the Vols in Knoxville (and LSU here in Louisiana) is only *slightly* better than how it's been described in Montreal.

Young HF29 said...

@10 - 27-2 under Meyer in that beautiful place. What's ND's record in South Bend these days?

Beta169 said...

@HF10

We travel very well, full of team spirit and southern hospitality. We behave especially well at ND, because its a "church school". Definitely see a game at Neyland, its crazy fun and the atmosphere is second to fantastic. The Pride of the Southland is also the best band around, bar none.

I like talking about UT, it gets my mind off the fact that the next couple of weeks might not be so great for the Habs.

Beta169 said...

@ HF29

Notre Dame will improve when Meyer leaves UF to coach there.

Habsfan10 said...

29, I'm going to murder you. Then Ty Willingham for fucking up ND's recruiting, then Father Malloy for keeping Willingham too long, then Ron Zook for recruiting so well before Urban got there, then Charlie Weis for having the worst offensive line coaches in history.

Charlie may get a reprieve if he wins 10 games this year and fucking beats USC FOR FUCK'S SAKES I HATE LOSING TO FUCKING USC. Great, now I'm all pissed off. Gainey better have a miracle ready at midnight.

Topham said...

Speaking of Jason Blake. Rob Scuderi?

Beta169 said...

I'm scared that Gainey's midnight miracle will be keeping his job after another do nothing summer.

kevincrumbs said...

This is the least excited I have ever been about the start of free agency. I've learned not to buy into the hype this year and cannot see us landing any big names, which is completely okay with me.

NIKAL1 said...

HabsFans####,
What's about 3K3 future? (Kovalev, Koivu, Komisarek)...
Let me know, pls.

L Dude said...

So, free agency starts at noon your time, right? So Bob has until 11:59 AM tomorrow to sign his own FA's?

When you really think about it, at this stage of the game, why the fuck would ANY UFA sign without testing the waters.
Face it - it IS about the money. Maybe Gainey offers DOOM! 4.5 for 5years. Some other team, say the Sharks offer him 5.5 for 4 years. It's better money, but not a lot for these guys. THEN the player has a decision - "Do I feel a bond with my current team? Is it best for me and my family (if there is a family to consider)?" Or does he say "YEEFUCKINHAW! I'm going where the money is! And that's his right."

In any case why WOULDN'T a player wait until tomorrow. I would.

And @NIKAL1: Done deals. Komisarek to Long Island, Koivu to Anaheim and Kovalev signing 3 year contract with the Habs for $10 million (3.33 per season) plus bonuses.

Anonymous said...

You know, even if we just went about resigning everyone, I'd still be fairly confident in the team's abilities. I mean, this year had basically everything that could go wrong, well, go wrong.

Tanguay-Koivu-Kovalev
Kostitsyn-Lang-Kostitsyn
Latendresse-Lapierre-Pacioretty
Higgins-Metropolit-Kostopoulis

Even without most of our younger players (or zombies and turtlenecks), we have four forward lines that showed promise at different times throughout the year. I mean, the TKK line played wonderfully in the final stretch. The old man tits line showed promise, if I remember correctly, at least, until Lang went and got his Achilles torn up. Lapierre and Latendresse each had some flashes of brilliance, and will still probably get better, and didn't Pacioretty work really well with Lapierre for a while? I'm not sure sure about the fourth line, really, but Higgins did some great work as a shutdown guy towards the end of the year.

The defense, though, I'm not so sure about. I'm actually of the opinion that we need a better defense corps overall opposed to a big centre. I mean, after Markov and Gorges, everyone in the back end had pretty horrible years.

Boob Gainey said...

Has anyone noticed that no team has signed its UFAs so far?

Stop it with the Bob hate. He knows what he's doing.

bonf said...

move i'd love (as an aficienado of real hockey)...... kovalev to pittsburgh to play with malkin....... why would a.k. want to come back here??

Anonymous said...

@bonf: i'd love that move too. get kovy outta here. let him be a motivation issue on another team's dime.

Young HF29 said...

for the Eklund believers, from his Twitter feed: (caps in original)

SOURCE: POSSIBLE HUGE CANADIENS NEWS AFTER 4. MAY D0 PODCAST AROUND IT.8 minutes ago from TweetDeck

Habsfan10 said...

We hired a goalie coach? (E5)

I love Eklund. I don't believe a word he says, and I think he's stealing stupid people's money, but I love that site. The rumours are so fantastically out of whack, it's brilliant. (It is a parody site, right? No? Seriously? Cmon. Really?)

Boob Gainey said...

There is a website (sorry can't find it right now) that catalogues Eklund's bullshit.

Apparently his success rate is something like 1%.

I agree that if you can get people to pay for complete bullshit, hats off to you.

Boob Gainey said...

Let's start some wild rumours.

Komisarek signs for Boston just to ensure he doesn't get beat up again.

Young HF29 said...

@Boob.

hahahaha. you are not going to believe this, but Eklund is actually saying that

8th item:

*Komisarek. Add the Bruins as a very serious possibility.

Beta169 said...

Classic comment on HB regarding alleged Canadiens announcement..

"Gainey will announce that he is comfortable with his current team..."

Boob Gainey said...

@HF29

Excellent!

I'm starting my own site.

Doogie2K said...

The best review of Transfomers 2 is the io9 review. End of discussion. A bucket of sarcasm and a (brief) discussion of Megan Fox's nipples.

Van Read said...

Fark. Komo's agent has kacked talks and announced they are going UFA tomorrow to test the market.

Young HF29 said...

@Doogie - that was outstanding

@Van Read - i keep seeing that on Twitter, but I still am not sure I believe it. but maybe it's denial

Young HF29 said...

@Van read @memyselfandi - well i stand corrected. it's true

ik said...

fuck you mike! greedy piece of shit..

Boob Gainey said...

Call me fickle, but I think I already hate Komi, just a bit.

Young HF29 said...

Komi's odds on wearing the "c" are plummeting

Habsfan10 said...

On the other hand, the odds of Komi getting the hell booed out of him next season are skyrocketing.

Mike, no matter where you go, Lucic will probably still kick your butt.

Anonymous said...

Do you think that was Eklund's "huge" 4 p.m. Habs news? Is he now up to 1.5% accuracy?

moeman said...

"USA Today's Kevin Allen, via Twitter, says that the Canadiens defenceman will toss his name into the UFA hat tomorrow, but that the Canadiens remain in the picture."

Via. Fucking. Twitter.

Young HF29 said...

@moeman - then this will kill you. from the same Twitter feed:

"Canadiens' Higgins just traded to the Rangers, details to follow shortly as I get them."

until RDS says it, it's not true

Qless said...

USA Today's Kevin Allen, via Twitter is now saying that the Habs traded Higgins to the Rangers. WTF?? I didn't see that coming..

Qless said...

RDS is saying it's Gomez that's coming back. I think I'd rather have Higgins....

James said...

Holy fuck! Higgins for Gomez, straight up?

If we don't consider cap hit in there, I believe Gainey just raped Sather.

Beta169 said...

This stinks of desperation. I loved Higgins, as he was a lifelong Habs fan, so yeah, I'd prefer Higgins too. Unless Gomez was brought in as part of a bigger deal, I'm very unhappy with this move.

moeman said...

Does this mean Sarah Palin will be dropping the puck at the Bell Centre soon? Aye, yi, yi!

WV = comystal (yup screengrab'd), as in will comystal now that his buddy Higgs is NYR bound?

Beta169 said...

I pray Higgins isn't LeClair pt. 2

Young HF29 said...

There's now a Gomez post. you can argue it out up there.

Number31 said...

Manny Legacy is so broken he could barely cover for Peoria. Why do people still want that guy? Anyway, I don't think our goalies are going anywhere.

And I'm a lady who loves Transformers but WTF DID THEY DO TO JETFIRE!!! Jetfire is not Kup! And he looks like Zoidberg. I'm so not getting that toy. (I collect Jetfires/Skyfires. Weee nerdy!)