Tuesday, June 02, 2009

The Morning Skate for Tuesday, June 2nd

Bullet points for what you missed while having nightmares of being a Deadspin commentor...
  • Not much happened yesterday. It was pretty quiet around here;
  • In all seriousness, let's try to recap. Jacques Martin is the Habs new head coach. Brilliant reaction from HF10 is in the next post down. In the process, somehow Rollie the Goalie Coach got axed. Weeeeee! Vicious rumours of Mario Tremblay being hired as an assistant were unfounded. As BGL chimed in, "people will be happy here (in Montreal) because he's bilingual." There's a vote of confidence;
  • Jimmy Balls filed an application for team relocation with the league last night. We don't know what that means either. Like Bettman cares about your "procedures";
  • With Joe Nieuwendyk as the new Dallas GM, Brett Hull is now "executive vice president and alternative governor" aka "stay away from the hockey team Brett."
Hey look, hockey! Finals Game 3 tonight. God forbid the Pens make this a series.


Robbie said...

While i sat concentrating hard ( no pun intended) at Wanda's on the issue of Jacques as the new coach i was going to add my 2 cents but everyone pretty much covered anything i might have said. So instead i couldn't help but notice (in between the two TITS) that coaches and strippers are a lot alike here in MTL. Here are the similarities i recognized after my eight Scotch and 17th lap dance.

1. All our coaches and all the girls have very common french names.

2. All the girls are french but speak excellent TITS i.i..i mean English yes English. Just like our coaches

3. Two tables down the Girls are entertaining the Russian Mafia and two guys who have tits. Just like our coaches do!

4. Jacques Martin and Jacques Demers seem eerily similar kind of like Carole and her twin sister Julie (fuck yeah i know they have different names but they looked alot alike..well their asses did anyways).

5. The girls look at you with this sense of longing kinda like the way the MTL coaches look at the prospect of winning a cup in this fucking town.

6. The girls crank you up with false hopes and expectations, you look at their ____ and truly believe its possible... but deep down you know its NOT...much like the coaches in this town.

7. The guy who worked the door (greets people in the same monotone voice, never smiles, looks kinda lost) looked alot like Bob Gainey.

8. The girls here love to get your hopes up. The start of the night is like the start of the season. Everyone believes that its going to be great, you have dreams of going all the way. You start to believe your going to score (wink) your going to win it all and go home with a working honey name Natasha (who's nickname is " CUP") only to realize as the scotches go down and the days pass that your only going to be told to pack it in and head home cause you've been fired, again!

Damn i hate Scotch.

TH-TO said...

HF29 - If you end up on the radio again discussing the ins and outs (no reference to the above post, btw) of coaching nos Habs, I swear to God I'm going to start invoicing both sides - SK gets charged an appearance fee (of which I get 15%) and then I bill you as well. The money will be spent on Creemore, FWIW. =)

gillis said...

I sort of see a resemblance to Martin in this pic

Boob Gainey said...

Nice post Robbie, but everyone knows Wanda's doesn't do lap dances.

Robbie said...

Let me dream Boob..let me dream

Boob Gainey said...

Is it just me or has the strip club content on this website declined to a barely noticeable trickle?

Boob Gainey said...

PK Peladeau surprised Gainey appointed a coach without being consulted.

I really hope he deosn't become the new owner. He sounds like an utter twat.

HabsFan29 said...

@Boob - been saving up the good stripper content for the dog days of summer

saw that Peladeau story. he's acting like he's the owner already. god help us

lawyergirl77 said...

I saw the PKP story too... but I refused to waste any time talking about him.

If Quebecor owns the Habs, I may lose it. I'll keep my seasons tix, but I'll probably sell them all.

If Mario Tremblay becomes an assistant coach, I may forego renewing them completely. (Who am I kidding?? Same scenario above!!)

HabsFan29 said...

just turned the game on. i still don't care, but FUCK PITTSBURGH MAKE IT A SERIES. is that too much to ask?

HabsFan29 said...

thank you pittsburgh!

wait, what?

HabsFan29 said...

that was fast wings. series will be over soon

HabsFan29 said...

"soon" = 10 minutes apparently

lawyergirl77 said...

Dammit, why am I always stuck at work during cool games?? *sob*

HabsFan29 said...

ooh, Ron Maclean and Bettman arguing about cap space. riveting TV.

no seriously, the look on Ron's face is killing me. this is nasty! now, on to Hamilton arguments!

HoustonHab said...

Congratulations Mr. Bettman,

Any interest you may have generated by having games 1 and 2 on NBE is totally destroyed by putting game 3 on Vs... which I don't get.

Thank you, thank you for that little gem!


HoustonHab said...

Like, seriously, look at this shit…


So, I may have watched my last games with out realizing it.

Boob Gainey said...

Wings are out of gas.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

Nice to see Pens' PP finally make Detroit pay for blatant interference and slashing/hooking/holding (not that the officiating has been very good in either direction - 30 seconds of too many men goes undetected?!).

Mark Eaton is eerily reminiscent of Josh Gorges.