Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The game wherein Montreal fans warmly welcome Mats Sundin with a polite round of applause - Canucks Game Preview and Open Thread

Remember last summer? Remember when we wasted our lives patiently waiting for the Matsiah while staring at hot Swedish chicks? Of course you don't. It never happened. But we're pretty sure the crowd at the Bell Centre remembers. No doubt they'll thank Mats for his diligence in not making a rash decision. All we can say to Mats is he should thank God this ain't Philly. Let's hit the bullets in tribute to what Flyer fans would do if Mats had spurned them:
  • 7:30 PM start at the Phone Booth. It seems to be on Sportsnet Pacific, meaning it's probably blacked out everywhere but BC and Alberta;
  • Habs have won... one in a row! Canucks, after sucking big-time when Mats got there, have gone on a tear, winning 8 of 9 games and jumping from 11th to 5th in the West;
  • Canucks beat the Habs 4-2 on the Habs' recent Western swing;
  • Orland Kurtenblog is your source for all things Canucks and beyond;
  • Kovy is coming off his best game of the season, and Pleks and Big Tits are riding with him. The Semitic Saviour and Markov are scoring points, while the latter's defensive coverage has been, er, not good;
  • The Sedins are scoring (big surprise) and Mats has a point per game over the Canucks' good stretch;
  • Halak will get the start again after his 44 saves on Saturday. Carey who?
  • We thought Tangy was oh so close to returning, but after meeting with doctors he's still out a week or two. And in case you missed it, Franky B is out for at least 2 weeks;
  • For your post-game adult entertainment, in tribute one last time to Mats, enjoy the Swedish Department of Sex (seriously NSFW).
Let's hear your best Mats taunts in the comments.

45 comments:

lawyergirl77 said...

I discussed my Mats-hate in the GDS thread... I will simply add here that I am trying desperately to keep my talking down to a minimum in order to ensure that I am in full booing voice tonight for all 60 minutes of the game.

eyebleaf said...

Sundin's great. Just splendid. Looks great in that Canucks jersey.

Mr. Fabulous said...

I wouldn't piss in Mats Sundin's mouth if his teeth were on fire.

Fuck him through the heart.

Limerick Dude said...

I have a plan. I'd do it my self, but living thousands of km's from the Bell Centre, it's hard.

@LG77: Since you're going to the game, could you be sure to be there when the Nucks arrive. As Mats is walking in, approach him and say to him "Mats, I'm a huge fan, will you sign my... (now as you're saying this, pull at your blouse/hockey sweater/t-shirt or whatever you're wearing, as if you are about to reveal a breast). Now when he's transfixed on what you're about to have him sign, haul off and give him a swift (but really hard) kick right in the Swedish Meatballs!

And as you run away with him lying in a heap on the ground, be sure to yell back to him, "NEVER MIND - I CAN'T DECIDE WHAT I WANT SIGNED!"

bob said...

I will be spitting a little hatred to our beloved Swedish clown.

He certainly deserves a nice Montréal welcome, BOOOOOO you 10M $ maggot.

Meanwhile Jaro is the man and Kovy turns 36.

Leafs got all that Sundin could give, no first place, no cup and no draft choice.
Thank you Mats, it was a slice.

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

LD, how exactly were you planning on pulling this off without...you know, boobs?

Perplexed in Montreal said...

Fuck you Mats. You're the reason we had to let Le Sympathique Suisse go.

Arazi13 said...

I now Know that NSFW means not safe for work.

damn

Sonia said...

Thank you Mats. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for not signing here and blighting this beautiful city with the ugliest, most nauseating mug in all of hockeydom, and for not fouling the crisp winter air with the Leafstink that will forever emanate from every pore of your body.

For that, I am eternally grateful.

Word verif: "gugamm" - That's the sound Mats will make as he writhes on the ground after LG77 kicks him in the meatballs.

lawyergirl77 said...

Sonia - dude, if you lived in Montreal we would so have to hang out. Leafstink. Heh.

LD et al: I'm loving the thought of kicking that selfish fucker in the Sweedish Meatballs. I'm even wearing a low-cut top and everything. However, the thought of getting that close to the fucker gives me the heebie-jeebies and I am afraid that I cannot do it.

Picture the cooties you were afraid of getting in kindergarten.

Multiply that by a thousand gajilion.

*shudder*

Plus, I wouldn't be able to get the Leafstink out of my hair. Ain't no shampoo strong enough (it's why Mats had to shave his head).

moeman said...

Ol' Swedish Summer Teeth can enjoy his stay as a Nuck.

Kudos to LDude's poetry in the previous thread.

Word Verif = crack, is that like meth?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v453/cybermoe/crackmeth.jpg

HabsFan29 said...

BOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, just getting warmed up. here's hoping Mats takes a puck in the Swedish meatballs

moeman that screen cap is killing me. well done. crack is whack

HabsFan29 said...

ive had enough of Joel at 7:32. new record

and i was right about the Sportsnet blackout. "hockey game not available" message and literally a black screen.

Bryan said...

FUCK! Shaw cable is a piece of shit. The RDS feed is coming through all wonky. It did this a couple weeks ago too. Can someone tell me where I can go to listen to it? I can hear it cutting back in which may be a good sign. So long as the video feed is OK.

HabsFan29 said...

i think they could boo louder

moeman said...

Fun, fast hockey.

HabsFan29 said...

brian try CJAD radio feed if you need audio

HabsFan29 said...

*Bryan

hey whatever happened to that other Brian with an"i" who used to comment?

ooh nice save jaro

Bryan said...

cjad ah that's the one. all i could think of before was ckac. i think i might just play some call of duty 2, take my chances, and hope that after soccer tonight their shit is fixed and i can watch canadiens express

moeman said...

Goalie duel.

Tom said...

I like the booing of Mats. Even when the puck is behind the Canucks net, I know as soon as Sundin steps on the ice (probably helps the players be more aware too).

Good PP for the Habs, even though they didn't score.

I hope they can keep this up for 60 minutes.

Bryan said...

shweeeet. if you have good internet
atdhe.net

hahaha my word is 'facks' like Shaw are a bunch of facks for facking with my RDS feed

HabsFan29 said...

could we have more players in the box please

Jaro, w00t!

Bryan said...

halak is on fire

moeman said...

WOW!

HabsFan29 said...

Pierre almost lost his voice there

Bryan said...

i've got the SNET P feed over the internet.

Damion said...

stuck at work. no tv. ckac calls a fantastic game!

Bryan said...

Damion, could you stream the game or would you get busted?

moeman said...

Still just one sweet moment but Saku's play should shut up the haters at 110%.

melly said...

RDS guys pointed out that Saku's awesome assist was even cooler 'cause it moved him into a tie for 10th with Elmer Lach in all-time points totals for the Habs.

Sweet. Saku's the mothereffin man.

Bryan said...

since when did we become a collective yannick perrault in the faceoff circle? wtf

Damion said...

Bryan -- unlikely to get busted, but I'm in the US and too cheap to pay for the NHL TV option since I've already got Centre Ice at home.

HabsFan29 said...

now that's some quality passing

moeman said...

SuperPlexe! passes a beauty to Vodkov!

kevincrumbs said...

I'm really confused... why is Burrows gone for the whole game? I didn't see anything there that would warrant a game misconduct in my book.

Great play by Jaro tonight. He's really stepping it up.

moeman said...

A cross-check to the face will net you a misconduct.

HabsFan29 said...

ahh, "hold on for dear life" mode

Slalom Frog said...

Good think that someone let Breezer out of the trunk!

HabsFan29 said...

jaro make many save and ween

moeman said...

Bonsoir mes amis.

Number31 said...

Woo!

Julien said...

I wonder if you guys noticed this...

Jaro

The Original Jaro?


From now on, he shall be known as.... Kevin....

Shutdown said...

jaro blog in the morn'?

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

JARO BLOG IN THE MORN!!