Sunday, February 15, 2009

Seriously, enjoy these supermodels while you can - Canucks Quickie Game Preview and Open Thread

Let's be honest here, Habs are terrible. They played one period and needed 46 saves from Jaro to beat a mediocre Avs team. I'm pretty sure this "streak" will last one game. So enjoy ladies like Julie Henderson while you can.

The beauty of the current streak (supermodels and quickie previews) is that it's like, zero work for me! 10 PM EST start. Habs have not beaten Vancouver since 2003. Jaro gets rewarded with another start, ruining TFS' B.C. homecoming. Other than that, I have no lineup news yet. Make sure to boo or throw things at the TV when you see Mats. Or cheer. Or drink heavily. Your call.

Let's hear predictions on Habs-Canucks fans split tonight in the comnments. 50-50?

50 comments:

Van Hab said...

Woooooooooooo!
Fuck, am I the only one getting excited about this? I've lived in Vancouver for 17 months now and it's been that long since I've seen a game live. It's gotten pretty bad for me... alone to celebrate my perverse lust for this team as there are not even any bars where CH fans can congregate and yell franco curse words at the TV. I'm all up on my laptop like Billy in Midnight Express when his girl squishes her lil boobs up against the glass and they both cry.
Well no more glass plate boobs for this guy, 'cause it's the real thing for me today!

'cept for the fact that we'll probably lose. The equivalent of jizzing in your shorts on your one biannual conjugal visit.

Either way this is the closest I'm getting. It's been two years and it'll probably be two more. I'll let you know how it goes.

Van Hab said...

PS the pre-game disclaimer for anyone in a relationship with someone who roots for the other team should go along the lines of "Honey, I'm going to say some terrible things to you this evening. I might even give you a black eye. Please remember that when this is all over I still love you. Now take off your top".

moeman said...

When it comes to the FHF blog, um ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vte4HUoRDSI

Go Habs!

kevincrumbs said...

@Van Hab: Have fun tonight! I hope that the boys at least give you a good effort, unlike the last time the Habs travelled into GM Place and Theo surrendered something like six goals.

I don't mind if we lose tonight but could it at least not be a blowout? Go Habs Go.

Olivier said...

I'd like them to actually play hockey, instead of erratic alternance between blankingly staring into open space and running around in panic.

I mean, this is getting embarrassing.

Mister Miracle said...

Hmmm. I wonder if all the Bruin's blogs are full of B fans calling for Julien's head, Thomas to be traded, Savard's spleen, etc now that they've lost 4 straight.

Oh, this only happens in MTL?

melly said...

What does Kyle Chipchura have to do to get into this lineup??

It's not like we're short a centreman or anything...

South Shore Habs Fan said...

@ melly
It's obvious, isn't it? Chips just had to decide that his natural position is defense - THEN Carbo will put him in at centre!

Matt D said...

No no no,
Chips has to get his hands on those pictures of Carbo, Gainey, and several goats. THEN he'll get in the lineup. It's working wonders for the Breeze.

gillis said...

7 GAMES!!!!!!!!!!

WOOHOO!!!!!!!

For those of you who dont know what im talking about, it's the number of games before Brisebois plays game #1000. Then Panger could lock him in his trunk for good and Gainey and Carbo won't have any reason for Panger to let him go.

chris nilan said...

i'm in vancouver looking on craigslist for tickets like crazy right now... have never seen the habs live in my 33 years... though i don't want to pay 250 bucks for nosebleeds like these fuckers are asking.

if i do get in i got a chewed up sandwich with mats heads name on it.

J.T. said...

My word today is "clapto." I hope Jaro steals one like a claptomaniac. And the rest of the team doesn't play like they've got the clapto. And the 'Nucks fans don't have anything to clapto.

copyranter said...

I hope Carbonneau keeps the Habs playing this no-forecheck game, because, gosh, it's just working so goddamn well, defensive fucking genius that he is.

les_glorieux said...

MICHEL "MIKE" THERRIEN FIRED!

http://tsn.ca/nhl/story/?id=267328&lid=headline&lpos=topStory_main

melly said...

@ South Shore:
Haha, of course! Logical, straight-forward thinking has no place on this ship.

My word verification is mixski, which sounds like the illness responsible for Carbo's incessant need to shake things up.

(In other news, Therrien just got canned.)

gillis said...

That's pretty funny that Therrien got fired, cause yesterday I was watching the Pens game and was thinking "Man, why hasn't Therrien been fuckin fired already"

Bryan said...

man i love these western swings. hockey games at REASONABLE HOURS!! I even got to go snowboarding today and when I got home the game hasn't started!! w00t. I remember the shalacking they laid down in Vancouver last time. I was living in Ottawa still and walking from the Baseline station back to Algonquin College rez with my jersey on and it was midway in the game. A bunch of guys passes me and were laughing and they told me the score. Like 6-1 or something ridiculous. I have faith, but my god, Vancouver is pretty healthy right now and they have a solid team when rolling. Hope the Habs fans in Vancouver get a better showing than I did at the Saddledome with Panger. $230 for that stinker? ouch. at least we were right up to the glass for the warmup before promptly heading up to the 2nd last row of the 2nd level. my word ver is 'perma'. Like if we don't win this game we are permafucked for the rest of the year.

Baroque said...

I'd like to see Montreal play well. My Wings already let me down in a freaking shootout. :(

Bryan said...

all the FHF in bed or what?? haha. my RDS feed from Shaw is teeeerrrrrible right now. choppy as hell.

copyranter said...

More of the same so far...how bout winning ONE along-the-boards-fight-for-the-puck?

kristin said...

grrrrrrr

Andrew said...

Fuck

les_glorieux said...

Well goodnight everyone! 2-0, game over...

kevincrumbs said...

Crappy defensive play so far. Let's work on NOT giving up odd man rushes.

Also, poor Van Hab for being at this one. Maybe he was late to the game or something.

Rips it, scores! said...

Well.......at least the Canucks probably wont be winning 6-0 after the first period, unlike the last time the Habs played in Vancouver........that's a positive, right?

kevincrumbs said...

Painful interview with Charlie Hodge during one of these TV timeouts. I feel bad for the poor girl interviewing her.

kevincrumbs said...

Since Therrien got the sack today, let's hope that means Carbo's next.

kevincrumbs said...

Hey, I guess yelling "shoot the fucking puck!" at the television repeatedly works.

C'mon, Habbies.

kevincrumbs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kevincrumbs said...

Whoa, we don't look too bad in this period. I haven't said anything vaguely positive like this in two weeks.

Tom said...

Any minute now, I keep expecting a Montreal powerplay. None yet.

My verification word runden. I like to think of it like the Habs play in the defensive zone. They runden hide.

kevincrumbs said...

Jaro's been really good tonight. I'm sure he'll give up six more goals tonight now.

kevincrumbs said...

I wonder if Jaro's smelling blood, thinking that this goaltending job might be his if he plays well enough. Go Habs Go.

kevincrumbs said...

FUUUUCK

Beautiful play by the Canucks though. Comical defending, once again.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

So, are these part of the Centennial Celebrations? Breakaway Night in Colorado? 3-on-2 Night in Vancouver? What's next, Penalty Shot Night against the Caps? At least that would be entertaining.

Gino Tomac said...

Wish #1 for our offense to come up with something other than cycling the puck around the net until they lose the puck

Wish #2 For our defensemen to actually complete a fucking pass to our offensive players in the neutral zone.

Wish #3 For Carbo to get fired. For Gainey to take Carbo's "system," print it out for each and every player, and tell them to go wipe their asses with it, because they're never going to play that shitty style of hockey again.

God, I hate how we come out and play the same brand of fucking awful period after period.

Fuck you Carbo, I hope Julien is banging your wife.

Tom said...

Is his wife hot?

Anyways, I wish Hamrlik would stop trying to be like Sheldon Souray version 2.0. Tries too hard to be offensive at the sake for the defensive side of things.

Word verification is flate. As in "The world is flate", or "The Habs started the period very flate again."

Andrew said...

Have the d-men been told they must not cross the opponents blue line or something. Every time we get in the Canuckls end - and its not THAt often - it ends up 3 v 5 with the two defenders contributing nothing.

Mind you, the forwards seem to have decided not to help out in our zone, so I guess its fair.

kevincrumbs said...

FUUUUUUCK

It's over. Carbo's reign SHOULD be over. Also, the dumbass Canucks announcers after the 4th goal:

"Yes we can! Yes we did!"

Newsflash: anybody can beat the Habs these days and it's certainly not a momentous occasion like Obama's election. Fuck this shit.

Tom said...

Now the question becomes: should Carbo be fired on the road trip, or at least wait until the team is back home?

I think it would be tough for a new coach to try and get something new done on the road (dealing with flights, hotels, don't have last player change, etc.)

kevincrumbs said...

In a perverse way, I hope he makes it back to Montreal, the team loses horribly and the fans mercilessly boo the fuck out of this team.

Then they can fire him.

Tom said...

Lessons the coach can teach the players:

1) How to clear the puck without icing it
2) How to not dangle at the blue line to draw your own teammates offsides
3) How to not leave your goalie out to dry
4) How to hit someone so it counts as an actual bodycheck.
5) How to not take periods off

There are more, but I think that's a good start.

Tom said...

By the above post, I meant the new coach, of course.

Andrew said...

Ihe brunette behind the Canucks bench has a great rack!

(Ive given up watching anything else)

South Shore Habs Fan said...

@ Andrew
I noticed that too. Good thing - it's distracting me from the tits behind the Montreal bench!

HabsFan4 said...

tune in tomorrow morning for more about the rack. You guys may have missed something funny...

Van Hab said...

Unhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Met a good grizzled habs fan on the bus ride home. Drove when I probably shouldn't have, from the bus to the house. did we lose? $50 worth of beer made it OK. I dont evn care. Fuck it all. fuck you guys too. all of you. You're the worst Christms ever. put your pants back on bunch of homos. Everyone on this team is shit. jaro was playing well then carbpshit put price out for a homecoming wank. Fuck. fuck fuck fuck I hat every one of you, no, I love you warm. warm

chris nilan said...

van hab -

i paid 300 for 2 tix for the night... section 328 row one.... still don't even regret it since it's my first habs game we lost the game as soon as van made it 3-1 at the end of the first.

fuck carbo


fuck carbo

our teeam is shit

fuck carbo

my sweet fuck i am not french canadian but i love my team... and i am sick of seeing the habs stick with franco head coaches just so the french media can ask them questions.


larrry robinson anyone?

ANYONE?

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE THE HABS BUT FOR FUCKS SAKES IF WE INSIST ON THE FRENCH NAME AT ALL TIMES WE NEVER WILL WIN!

olivier said...

@ chris nilan: Ok. I will rant now:

Well, maybe we should have stuck with Julien then?

Aaah, the ever cancerous presence of The French Media; every time I hear that, I just don't get it. What are we supposed to understand from that? If only it was just Red Fisher and the good old boys, things would be better? If the french media weren't there asking for french soundbytes we would actually have someone *competent*?

Bear with me while I go trough the motions: the fact is, the french speaking market is a massive part of the habs revenue stream. They almost got a big big chunk of it taken away by the Nordiques in the early 80's. The organisation saw a problem, reacted, was pleased with the result (much more money) and made sure not to make the same mistake again. Then the Nords became the Avs and the Habs saw an even more abundant amount of moolah go their way.

Now, that means french speaking coaches. It's a PR imperative, of course. Where do you find those? Most of the time, outside the NHL. And that's where it stings; we go trough their growing pains, fire them and then start anew. Look at the recent coaches who got fired from Mtl. They all get a job, and they all get results. That is because the team always strive to hire competent people.

(mind you, I just wrote "strive to", not "always sucessfuly do")

Only, they cannot always (in fact almost never) hire *experienced* coaches. Such is life. If only the Nordiques were still in the league (or if the Sens hired a french speaking coach)...

Now, Carbo is getting fucked in the ass by the players, it's obvious. Whaddayagonnado? Whatever the circumstances, he will end up taking a step back (by getting fired or by getting trough the season) and that will enable him to learn from the experience and become a better coach. Just as the other competent and inexperienced guys did before him.

I mean, Jesus fuck, aren't you guys tired of getting to see the same damn thing happen every 2 years or so? See an ineperienced coach rode out of town while most of his predecessor enjoy success elsewhere (thanks, Michel, for ruining my point. Jackass.)?

Like Larry fucking Robinson can do anything about that? He does speak french, I'll give you that.

The problem, I think, lies elsewhere. We actually specifically need Bar Rafaeli on gamedays to win. Anything less obviously doesn't work.

It has been scientifically proven.

chris nilan said...

@oliver.

first realize that this rant was after going to the game... drinking many 8.25 drafts then going to the bar after and drinking real beer.

i absolutely understand the need for a fench coach in montreal but it sems to limit our chances. and this team seems to have quit on carbo.

now is it carbos fault? of course not. but as the old saying goes, can't fire 25 guys.

the job of a coach is to motivate his team. we came into this season with most "experts" picking us to win the east. no we're gonna have to fight just to make a playoff spot and every team in the leauge knowing we're "too soft" (as all the "experts" are saying now)

i just want every capable coach out there to be considered.

and plus i spent a bucket of money in a recession so i'm allowed to be pissed of for fucks sakes.

and julien is a fuckwad too. one good year does not a great team make.(see 07/08 habs)

i'm hungover.