Jews in Montreal are hysterical over the news that Mathieu Schneider is back in Montreal
The Jews are back on our bench! The Jews are back on our bench!
Stir the Matzah Ball Soup Ma! Curl up and watch When Harry Met Sally for the 17th time. Rattle off those Jewish Nobel Prize Winners again, cause THIS IS HAPPENING!
Mathieu Schneider is back.
Oy, has it ever been lonely since our Matty left us with our circumcised shmekels in our hands. It was a day that left our hearts as heavy as Ariel Sharon's,...as Ariel Sharon. One minute he was there, he was representing Côte-St-Luc pride all over the world, the next, he was gone, as gone as a peace process in Gaza.
G-d willing, he is here to stay and will bring back honor and pride to our team, and excellent latka recipes for us to enjoy.
Put on the tefilin, our payers have been answered. Respect the Sabbath and honor thy parents because glory glory is here.
Throw the pork away, Mazel Tov, we have been saved. our real Messiah is here and he is beautiful. Tear down your fences of hatred, and let the love pour in your hearts, for we have been so alone for so long. But alone we are no longer, because he is back, and his penis was cut when he was 6 days old, and it probably hurt him like hell, but they gave him some wine to knock his senses out and we Jews experience our first hangovers with bleeding dicks, so pray for us.
The Cup is near. Kiss the mezzuzah when you get home. The Cup is near.