Thursday, November 12, 2009

Meh, whatever, it's a Coyotes game preview and open thread

My excitement for this team has hit bottom. I'm not gonna say rock bottom, because there are still like, a bunch of games to go. Plenty of time to really bring out the suckage. But we're almost a quarter of the way into the season, and my attitude can be nicely summed up in one word, meh. Is that even a word? Who the fuck knows. Let's hit the bullet points to discover why I'm so blah about this team:
  • We can't score. 2 measly goals in our last 3 games;
  • This team really doesn't play anything that could be described as "entertaining hockey";
  • Losing. This team has more regulation losses than any team in the league except the woeful Hurricanes;
  • Beyond the Giant Mexican Squid and Pleks, no one seems to be doing anything out there except "skating" around in a purple haze;
  • There is no way I can envision this team doing anything in the playoffs, if they even make it that far;
  • The man who should be our most exciting player, TFS, seems to be rife with issues, maybe media-imposed, maybe self-imposed, who knows;
  • This whole cash grab 100th anniversary celebration has turned into a farce, if not a downright embarrassment;
  • We suck.
Your reasons may differ.

OK enough with my old man complaining about you kids on my lawn, let's go back to the bullets to set up the game. I'm too meh to do anything else. And it's a game that I'm totally meh about, given that it's Phoenix. Ooh, feel the history. Of bankruptcy court.
  • 9 PM ET start at Jobing.com Arena. I'll be sleeping by midway through the 2nd;
  • Habs have lost 3 of their last 4, as have the Yotes. This is the only meeting this season between the teams;
  • Five for Howling is a good source for all things Phoenix;
  • There are no hot Habs;
  • Conversely, everyone is cold. More specifically, The Urologist has zero points in 8 games (and counting);
  • Did you know the Habs lead the league in minor penalties? You do now. I think about half of them have been for shooting the puck over the glass;
  • Yotes riding some great golatending from Bryzgalov, who's in the top 5 in the league in GAA, save %, and shutouts;
  • Shane Doan is worth a point per game. Gang Bang Lang (god I miss that) has 8 points this season;
  • Lines at practice yesterday were GMS, Pleks-Tits-Pyatt, Metro-Moen-PatCHes, Laps-Gui:(-White. Once again, CHips gets screwed;
  • My favourite quote from all my reading for this preview, from Jaro 2.0: "If we scored three or four goals a night, we’d be a totally different team." Amen, Jaro;
  • For your post-game adult entertainment, just go walk around an Arizona State campus. Here's some of what you'll see.
Let's hear your thoughts in the comments Or not, I don't care. Meh, whatever.

UPDATE - oh look, there's a game review from 4 just below this. Go read it.

100 comments:

Hadulf said...

Meh

HabsFan29 said...

@Hadulf - that's the spirit! or lack thereof.

L Dude said...

meh.

Don't acme any questions about the coyotes. I care about them equally as little as I do the Habs right now.

GoldenGirl11 said...

I do enjoy the word "meh" although it doesn't make me laugh as much as "hoochie".

Big party on Dec. 5 for yet ANOTHER celebration. Great marketing with a party at the BEGINNING of the birthday and another at the end. They are fucking brilliant. For some reason it makes me picture Goodbye Columbus with some drunk uncle sneaking whiskey sours to Carey and his buddies when really they should never have been invited to the party in the first place for their crappy stats. You'd think that after last season they realize that celebrating before success leads to embarrassment and underachievement. Seems like forever ago but just last year at this time we were coming off what seemed to be the beginning of climbing back into the elite. In just a year we've gone from meh to blech and then some. I want to be Detroit. A team with quiet class and longevity and guys who stay for 20 years. I want a team that can score 9 goals in one night which is a big deal but not the biggest deal because they'll do it again a few times this season alone. I am sick of having the same pit in my stomach* I had when Red Light was in goal. I'm sick of being meh.

Rant over

*sports related pit, not real life pit. I mean be serious.

habsss said...

What a group of nice classy young ladies.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Are you talking about the commentors or the Canadiens.

Moey said...

Re: pics of chicks at Arizona State

Hence the term "Coyote ugly"

Habsfan10 said...

Komisarek out 3-4 weeks Schadenfreude in 5...4...3...2...

Chester said...

The world is begining to right itself. We hadn't realized just how fucking off kilter we were. The Dead Things are scoring, The Leaves are losing, The Traitorsaurous is out and this iterminably .. interminibbally ... (screw it) long and ever-fucking lasting centennial cele-fucking-bration is mercifuly coming to an end. Now .... Jebus-H-Krist can we get back to the business of fucking MAKING some GD history .... woa woa tabernak pant pant ..... I gotta go lie down ...

lawyergirl77 said...

Meh = the definition of my life lately. It had BETTER be a word...

Am in Quebec City tonight. Work trip but I packed Mr. LG77 in my carryon. He was quiet for moat of the trip... Only had to kick the bag he was in once. Good boy! (what? The client only paid for one ticket...)

i would go watch the game with my grandpa but every time I watch a game with him, we lose.
Not that I don't fully expect to lose tonight.
But still.
Trying not to jinx things from the outset. The team does a good enough job of that on it's own...

Chenny13 said...

A-meh-n for this assessment. Hopefully Les Boys give us something do be excited about tonight.

moeman said...

'|ˈpərpəl||chāz|, aka, really mehxed up Bleu+Blanc+Rouge'

Purple CHaze is on our team
Lately things don't seem so fucking keen
Playin' shitty, but I don't know why
'Scuse me while I meh then cry

Purple CHaze all around
Don't know if I'm mehthin' up or down
Are they crappy or in mehsery?
Whatever it is, we need a line called LSD

Help meh help meh
Oh no no ... no

Purple CHaze on all four lines
Don't know if Jacques system's right
They just aren't blowin', blowin' my mind
Is it tomorrow, the end of Gainey's time?

No, help meh aw yeah! oh no no oh help meh …

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Nice. And oh so true.

moeman said...

Merci to the hip GG11 and a shout out to HallucinationFilled29 for the psyCHedelicious game day thread.

HabsFan29 said...

FUCK YEAH MOEMAN

I was feeling meh, but that got me going. been watching jimi on YouTube the last 15 minutes. a 1967 live one that kills

HabsFan29 said...

thx moe, and psyCHedelicious is my new favourite word

moeman said...

WOW!

GoldenGirl11 said...

I'm feeling vaccinationpsyCHelicious... and a little hoochie. Just can't stop saying that.

moeman said...

HooGG11 is trippin'.

GoldenGirl11 said...

4 kids alone. You would too.

moeman said...

@GG11, I've got two, but not this week, so yes, I'm trippin', too. A purply Cab Sauv, to the rescue.

HabsFan4 said...

Start now, game.

moeman said...

@HF4, if this was a cbc/hnic broadcast'd game it've started 15 mins ago. For now it just means an extra coupla hours of LSDin'. Spin&Swirl room Spin&Swirl.

GoldenGirl11 said...

I'll have what Moe's having.

moeman said...

@HooGG11,

I am one that loves the inexpensive good quaff find. One cannot go wrong with Beringer's California Collection, 2007 Cabernet Sauvignon for $9.95 in Ontario/LCBO (methinks $11.95 at the SAQ). Beringer does a similar deal on their Pinot Grigio, which ain't that bad but could be grassier.

NB~ There is no oak aging here (American or French because the better Cali vineyards do French, because using US Oak is like, well, biting into a SherWood).

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Masi. It's all I need.

WV: bibles. Hmmm. A sign to pray.

moeman said...

@GG, "all"?

If so, MonsieurGG is the luckiest man alive.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Hell no. I'm a evil shrew during the day. I'm not really an easy going pornographer, I just play one on this site.

moeman said...

@GG, "an easy going pornographer, I just play one on this site"

We are, the luckiest sams of bitCHes alive.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Apparently the pornography makes psychiatrist brother of GG the tiniest bit uncomfortable. Thank god mom of 29 told him to cool it.

moeman said...

@GG11, with all due respect and not knowing brother of yours, might I suggest he click on some of the eye-pleasing venues sometimes linked in the game day threads (unless BroGG lives in Tronna, then he needs to take a drive the city of the beautiful women, Montréal).

inthereds said...

@moe... Mind if I join in...I myself am quaffing the La Casona 2007 that Beppi was blabbing about in the G&M a couple of weeks back. At just over $8 it`s very nice; he thinks it`s the next Fuzion except from Spain.

Tried to post earlier but new to this so not sure if it went thru...

Posed the question... would anyone notice for this game if the Coyotes played the Bulldogs instead (keyboard won`t allow question mark). I mean the fucking team as it is is not much better than some of crap that was on the ice in the 80`s and 90`s. And, with Hamilton playing well...

@GG11 - you have a nice talent working with In Design

J.T. said...

GG11: Love that the tramp stamp reads "Lang." And ptuh at the Centennial. I hope never to hear the godawful word again, at least until my hundredth birthday, when I will have forgotten the Habs exist and happily drink the stuff my great grandkids hand me without question.

moeman said...

@itr, thnx for the tip.

Yes, Fuzion (Malbec/Shiraz) is a nice inexpensive quaff but I'd stay away from their Chenin/Chard cheaper combo, unless making a nice beCHamel (for pizza, pasta or crêpes) or a nice holiday punCH (here's a tip kids, freeze the orange slices, then drop them into the bowl before the visit arrives).

GoldenGirl11 said...

Bro lives in Brooklyn and what irks him is the messenger, not the message.

moeman said...

@GG11, if bro is younger, box his ears. If bro is older, box his ears. (Yes, I'm still CHanneling 1910ish images)

~~~

Also, drop the fucking puck already!

GoldenGirl11 said...

@InTheReds
Funny how a few minutes with Moe and InTheReds sounded like someone having a drink or 12. Everything done here is Photoshop and thanks.

@J.T.
Yes. Ptuh is right. And you should probably write a note to your grandkids that you'd like the party to start on your 99th and end on your 100th even if you (god forbid, ptuh, ptuh, ptuh - sorry, Jews spit after one of those) break your hip, your wrist and your elbow, have a fight with every living relative and fire every caregiver with racist slurs. THAT would be the same kind of celebration as the Habs centennial. Only difference is that unlike our team, you WILL be expected to soil yourself after the party.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
He's younger and I did.

moeman said...

I think GG11's younger Bro will love to analyze that pthu'd rant. It was wonderfully written and fun to read.

J.T. said...

@GG11: Not to mention, give away all the grandkids' inheritance (lol) to suspect TV evangelists, then inform them they must inherit my 19 cats. THAT'S more like the Habs' ill-fated birthday. God, can it be December 5th already?

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Bro is my toughest critic. I'm sure the little sneak is reading this as we type.

How pathetic that I'm actually happy to see our schmucks in regular uniform.
Go Schmucks!

HabsFan29 said...

THANK FUCKING GOD IT STARTED

whew

HabsFan29 said...

what a lively arena!

Moey said...

@GG11,

I just opened a bottle of Masi, the 1.5 litre bottle, I hope I don't have to drown my sorrows over this game and drink the whole frigging thing tonight. I gotta work tomorrow.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@J.T.
Where the opening party was a classy event to mark a historical date, I feel that the closing party will be a gathering of strangers in the house of Norma Desmond and her 27 cats. Kind of an "I'm old, I'm crazy and I don't care what you think of me now that I'm REALLY 100, I'm not wearing any underwear and I have to pee... never mind, just did, now finish your drink and get the fuck out" party. The kind of party that your kids had reservations about throwing but figured it was the right thing even though they knew you were minutes from kicking the bucket and now they wish you had BEFORE the party started. I see Bob showing up in an Elton John glitter suit and saying "I'm ready for my close up Mr. Demers".

chris nilan said...

what was up with the fans with the half coyotes/half nords tshirts on and habs facepaint?

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moey
I put mine in a mason jar or gatorade bottle so the kids don't think I'm drinking again. I mean drinking.

J.T. said...

@GG11: Wow! That's so much more positive than the way I picture it. I see it as more of a Miss Havisham thing, in which the Habs stumble down the stairs with wild, staring eyes, in their hundred-year-old wedding dresses and long, clawing fingers grasping at the guests retarded enough to pay $15000 a table to sit with them at dinner. It was the best of times, now it's the worst of times.

Ronan said...

It looks eerily like an Expos game out there.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Hamr oughtta get his skates sharpened BEFORE the game. Or maybe he forgot to take off his skate guards.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@J.T.
The whole thing reminds me of Johnny Dangerously. Everyone knew he was a gangster - even the Pope - except his mother. Doesn't ANYONE at Hab central read the papers or the blogs or talk to their children??? Even the Pope knows that we suck! Don't they know that all the celebrating is seen as ridiculous and an embarrassment? I don't get it. Make a documentary and show it whenever the fuck you want but stop publicly celebrating!! I hate egomaniacs!!!

Sonia said...

First period: I'll see all your meh's and raise you a few zzzzzzzzz...

J.T. said...

@GG11: Well, actually, I think the Pope is more interested in hiding his Nazi affiliations and telling illiterate Africans not to use condoms at the moment. But, if he were interested in hockey, I'd say, sure, he'd know the Habs suck. The only ones who don't are the starry-eyed neophytes sucked in by the all-encompassing vortex that is the Habs' marketing department.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@J.T.
Ahhhh. Yes. Gotta love a rascist, Nazi pope. For another blog...

Boston lost. Woo hoo (said in quiet monotone).

Moey said...

@GG11, I don't think I'll ever get over the 2008/9 season. So much promise followed by so much suck.

I'd love to rewind back to Sept. 2008 with those players, that was a good team, we'll never know WTF really went wrong.

/pouring my second glass.

Ronan said...

@ GG

They couldn't even score a goal. Ha ha! Who can't score a goal?

boob gainey said...

Brunet keeps making excuses.

GoldenGirl11 said...

5 periods have passed and still no one is scoring. Sounds like a really bad marriage to me.

Moey said...

Yup, keep showing me Lang, being a great guy in the locker room, showing his stats from last year. There will be a third glass of wine tonight.

Ronan said...

Oh Leach, we already HAVE a Hal Gill.

J.T. said...

There is no suck as powerful as the suck of a team with no discernible offence. Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it, Dyson vacuum-seller guy!

GoldenGirl11 said...

It's a boy! Mazel tov!

GoldenGirl11 said...

Now now fellas. You have your one goal for the month. Don't go showing off for a second. Crashing the net unnecessarily will only get someone hurt.

Moey said...

Coyotes score, Martin is writing notes: we should've kept Lang.

Ronan said...

So I'm thinking the Habs are the only NHL team whose 2 starting goalies have both taken sticks to the head from their defencemen (Halak at the WC).

moeman said...

Hey kids, what did I miss? Did Lang a Bang score?

Also, Nazi Pope = very trudat.

Go Pants!

matt - ftc said...

it just seems like price has a lot of strange goals scored against him. not blamking him for it, but weird how your own d-mans stick hits you in the throat

moeman said...

@matt - ftc, "blamking" a weirdly cool WVish word. Nice.

Number31 said...

I can't believe RDS was blaming Price for that goal... Maybe Mara should go and chop a stick in Benoit Brunet's throat and see how long he stands...

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
I'll paraphrase....
We suck
Stop celebrating you fucking idiots
pope is a Nazi
Halloween in Phoenix
bar mitzvah squid scores
lang is causing Moey to drink heavily
we suck
we suck
we suck

moeman said...

@GG11, I knew there was something about that Joseph Ratzinger.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Wasn't he the postman on Cheers?

Robbie said...

Three of the best things overheard in the dressing room during the second intermission.

1. Squid to Mara: Did they really fucking play Hall and Oates ''Private eye'' during a whistle break in the first period

2. Price to Latendress: There were more people at MacDonalds then there are at this game.

3. Big tits to no one that is listening: Ze ref doesn't even needing to useing that fucking microphonyyy to announcing penaltiessss in dis fuckings arenas

Moey said...

With Lang, it was love at first sight. Boone posted a (very Colin Farrell like) pic of him on HIO when there were rumors that Bob might be signing him when he couldn't land Sundin. True to form the usual cast of HIO pissed and moaned about how he was so old, slow, soft, WTF was Bob thinking etc. He looked mighty fine to me, and turned out to be a great additon. Sometimes you can tell a book by its' cover. Girls know best.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moey
Even DrGG did a double take the first time he saw Lang. Went on and on - in that jealous way - about how good looking he was. The shift started with pj night and Lang's cut Achilles heel. I'm happy for him that it didn't end his career.

moeman said...

@Girls, yes girls may know what is best but (some) boys can learn and make it bester.

moeman said...

Also, our boys can't score or learn to score. Its like a fucking Twilight Zone episode out there.

moeman said...

Also, bought this on the way home from work, for a late night game snack.

UROLOGIST!

Moey said...

GG11,

You mentioned once before you were at that game and so was I. The only game I was at last year and I don't plan on going to any this year. I'm glad he's still playing, although they did mention at the time if the tendon was repaired within 48 hours he had a good chance of a full recovery. I think he was starting to skate again when we met Boston in the playoffs.

moeman said...

3-1

Métro!

moeman said...

3 assists for Pleks so far. Sweet turtleneck love for #14.

fezworth said...

Good goals so far?

GoldenGirl11 said...

Oh, let's be bangwagon jumpers....

Wow! We're the greatest. I think we have a chance this year!! Yay!!

@J.T. and Moe
Twilight Zone! THAT is the perfect setting for the farkakteh* final "ok, ok, I'm not 39, I'm really 100... or am I 101?" birthday party.

*sometimes a feeling is best conveyed with Yiddish profanity

GoldenGirl11 said...

I'm confused. Doesn't Pyatt play for us? Did he defect during intermission? I mean who would blame him what with the dry heat and all.

3-2. time to start singing no?

Moey said...

Moeman,

Step away from the bread, you'll regret it in the morning.

moeman said...

How did the Habs not draft a guy named Bissionnette?

moeman said...

@Moey, I had a nice slice of the Paska. I went to the bakery for some CHelsea buns but alass they were all taken.

chris nilan said...

wow you guys are some pessimistic motherfuckers.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
I'm inspired. Tomorrow I will forgo the braid and make a turtle chalah.

moeman said...

@GG, decorate that CHalah with a #14. (Wondering what a CHaLang would look like)

Moey said...

Nice mask Pricey, now just out duel your cousin and win this bloody game.

moeman said...

Regulation win bitCHes (I know, its the Yotes). Fuck it BIRD FEED!

Ronan said...

Oh hey cool, we won.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Chalang it is. And when we rip that first piece I will think of his Achilles heel. The hot soup should help.

4-2. About time.

moeman said...

Bonsoir mes ami(e)s.

kevincrumbs said...

Regulation win + Price victory! Was the goal an empty netter? Sitting in my friend's backyard in Texas and turned on the RDS feed only to see that Gio just scored.

boob gainey said...

Good game and a beautiful goal by MAB.

The Yotes are really bad.

Number31 said...

Heartattack Habs! Seriously, I need to go dye my hair right now to hide the grey they're giving me!

Yea MAB nice goal, now stop playing D and move to the fourth line or something x_x

How cute was Price and Cammy there at the end?

Ronan said...

@ Number31

What did they do? Phoenix channel went to their sports desk pretty much right away.

moeman said...

100!