7:30 tonight at the Phone Booth, Habs get one chance to win this week before they get crushed by the Caps and Wings this weekend. Gionta is out, Rhino not quite ready. Consider that your preview. Now on to the reason you're all here. Boredom at work.
Yes, it's the one-quarter season player review! Of course, it's not quite one-quarter, more like, oh, I don't know, 24.39% (rounded). We all said we'd give this team 20 games before really evaluating them. Well, those 20 games have come and gone, so it's time to bring on the fucking expletives. We're using our FHF-trademarked scale of zero to 5 Bertrand Raymonds, representing how well the player is living up to the past of nos glorieux. On to the ratings!
Pleks - RIP ZombiePleks? The only player that belongs here. The only player that shows up and scores game in, game out. Leads the team in scoring despite having NO WINGERS. I repeat, NO WINGERS. It's like last year didn't happen. I'm still freaked out by the whole thing.
Squid - just behind Pleks in scoring. Leads the team in goals with 8, but I feel he hasn't really exploded, know what I mean? (Not a sexual euphemism. Or is it?)
Gionta - right there with Pleks in the "show up for every game" department. Just make him captain already.
Métro - 10 points for a supposed 3rd / 4th liner is fucking top notch. Time on the PP, and making the most of it.
Please Hamr don't hurt 'em - in case you hadn't noticed (and you hadn't, which is the sign of a solid D), he's our #1 D now. Putting in major minutes in Vodkov's absence, and playing his heart out. Mostly.
MOEmaN - a pleasant surprise. Maybe slowed down recently, but still working. Unlike some people.
The goalies - I think this seems reasonable. TFS may have had a struggle or two and some bad luck, but overall (especially after facing 55 shots Saturday), he seems alright. Jaro pley weel. All in all, seems like a serviceable tandem.
The M in GMS - six or seven games ago he would have been 3 or even 4 BR's, but lately, ugh. Well not really ugh, more like invisible. Turning into a waste of $8 mill in cap space?
USS Hal Gill - I have no fucking clue what to make of him. Some games he seems like a functional D, other games, well, less so.
The Urologist - got half a BR for a good nickname. Some whacky passes and defensive gaffes have him as the prime candidate for Panger's trunk.
Other 2 BRs - Jaro 2.0 (maybe 2.5 BRs), PatCHes, Gorges
Mad Max - Bertrand's wet dream is a fucking nightmare.
Our boy CHips - Zero points and -8. Yet there was a stretch there when I thought he played well, and might deserve 2 BRs, and was getting screwed with the lineup as usual.
Tits - Oh Andrei, we're rooting for you, we really are. But you're not making it easy.
Other 1 BRs - Dagger, Mara
Gui:( - 'STIE CALICE WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? Every chance in the world and you have 3 points in 20 games. On pace for a 12.3 point season. Well done.
Incompletes - Markov, Rhino. BGL, Leach, Stewie, Carle, Pyatt, White, Belle, Weber. Is that everyone?
Please disagree with my ratings in the comments. Personally, I trust Panger's hockey analysis more than my own. Either way, which Hab will bump up his BR rating for the half season review? I'm sure a WhalerCanes game will clear it all up.