Saturday, November 27, 2010

CHrack that whip, Black Friday review ~ White Saturday Preview


Auld Bangs Twyne ~ 47 fucking shots, 3 went in, 2 were flubbed, don't blame the big, bald one. Need a recrap of the no-show, see J.T. for her perfectly perfunctionary period-by-period bullet points.
~ ~ ~
Apart from the daily murders, frequent fire miles and digested blue-CHeese dipped CHicken wings at Frank and Teressa's AnCHor Bar, Irv Weinstein and Ed Kilgore will tell you that the Sabres puck packing punk boys in Buffalo blue, blazed and busted the lowly leaf. Speaking of the leaf, they need hilarious help making noise but at least they have their TeenBeatish überfanblogboy james mirtle cranking out mcsploogian gems like this.

Tonight's teams current standings. Your Montréal Canadiens are 5th in the league, 14-8-1 , 6-4-0 in their last 10 and find ways to get shutout. The slugless Sabres are 24th, 9-12-3, 6-3-1 in their last 10 and find ways to keep Rivet out.

Buff blogger die by the blade has a nice logo.

The game is on RDS à 19h, that's 7PM for our Anglo FHFriends.

cbc.ca is streaming the game, WARNING: probably bob cold doing the play-by-play, he's usually bundled up with some other sad Habs-hating-hack.

Yeah its COLD, just step outside, then come back in for some HOT. Why wait, take off the ovenmitts and warm up your hands.

Ryan 'Silver' Miller (17-7-5 lifetime record vs. the Hab) vs. TFS™ (7-4-3 with a 2.10 goals-against average in 14 career starts against the Sabres is 2-0 with a 1.50 GAA this season) should warm the cockles of those that love a great goaltending matCH. No need for this early Xmas present.

Buffalo Captain Craig Rivet is rumoured to be on the trading block or not. Hopefully he gets traded to a warmer climate as we know he hates to shovel. Whilst here, thanks to Bob Gainey for the Josh Gorges+pick(=Pacioretti) deal.

CHocula needs to re-align the PleXXXe~Squid~BigTits line, pronto. Prize fighter PFK might have to be ready for Round 2 of his pugilistic partners after last night. I predict don cherry will rip into Subban. Subban said Bogosian kept asking him to go and he was disappointed because "if you're going to go, go. Don't play ring around the rosie."

Ding-a-lings are thoses,
Crotch's jacket full of po$ie$
Hush! don! hush! ron!
We’re all dumbed down.

The web has sent this daughter,
To play in the ocean's water.
ah-tishoo, ah-tishoo.
Her top falls down.


Speaking of falling down. If you can give a pint and not faint, "The Canadiens will hold their annual blood drive from, 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday at the Salle de pas perdus at Windsor Station. Current and former players will be on to greet fans in the drive which was initiated by the late Claude Mouton and Jean Beliveau in 1981."

~ ~ ~

Now CHrack that whip!

Jacques, CHrack that whip!
We'll give the past the slip
FHF meth is like crack
Bring free ice cream back!

When a problem comes along
You must whip Mex
Before the CHream sits out too long
You must whip the PP
When something's goin' wrong
You must whip the Sabres

Now whip them
Into shape
Shape them up
Get PP straight
Go forwards!
Tits! ahead
Try to deflect one
It's up to Lars
To whip him
Whip Miller good

When a good game turns around
You must whip them
Or you'll never live it down
Unless you whip them
No one gets away
Until they whip them

GG say, whipped it
Whipped it good
iRiRi say, iWhip it
iWhip it guud

[AutoCorrect Interlude]

Kirk, CHrack that whip
Give the Sabres D the slip
Step on Divin' Derek Roy
We don't want Craig Rivet back

When Buffalo comes along
You must whip them
Before the blue CHeese sits out too long
You must dip it
When something's goin' wrong
You must TFS™ it!

Now whip them
Into shape
Shape them up
Get PP straight
Go forwards!
Pants! ahead
Try to deflect one
It's up to Moen
To whip him
Whip Miller good

Go You Fucking Habs!

Go You Fucking Als!





78 comments:

moeman said...

Félicitations Rouge et Or!

Orangeman said...

This is the 3rd Devo parody/homage I've seen in the last day and a half.

Other than that, I didn't understand a single thing in this post. Not that that's unusual.

Mr. natural said...

@31: ....but PHucken'Gomez does every PHucken'night,he reminds me of Bob Gainey in his prime, beautiful to watch but can't score on a breakaway in the last minute when the opposition has pulled the goalie!

Except Bob could really play the rest of the game as well or better than most, forecheck and backcheck Bob was DA MAN!

@orange: not sure if we are the same drunk ...errr I mean person. Have you eaten so much sea cucumber, shrimp heads and scorpions that your penis is little and yellow?

Evolution is a funny thing you don't notice it until much of the transformation has already take place, I officially declare that I hate the PHiladelphia PHucktards more than any other team, BUT I still wish Wendel Clark's balls who come back for a cameo appearance.*Sigh*

LAFF fans more pathetic, PHuctard fans more dangerous and hateful.

Steve said...

I dont know if anyone could reach that far at this time in this place at such a meeting. I am all yes the habs will be in the playoffs and every game until that momemet is training camp. Which in reality what it is and I expecet the next WIKELEAKS will let us know some things. For example the perceptually troubled leafs were screwed by agent Brian Burke, and evil minds work to make Boston a cup winner, It is more coordinateness than the cone of silence that surround Seibel Edmounds.

Steve said...

I am not insane, it is as real as Nixion sayint I am not a crook. And now Char est ssying I dont have a G5.

Orangeman said...

Ok, now I don't understand anything anyone is saying. They must have increased the LSD in Montreal's drinking water.

@natural: My penis may be yellow and small, but I'm not sure if that has anything to do with my diet. The fact that that paragraph is the only tihnk I've understood on this site today tells me maybe it's just my water that has the LSD.

iRiRi said...

Not only did I have to watch (endure) last night's non-effort (okay only half, but still), I then had to read Darren "Douche" Dreger's Subban disses on Twitter.

More PFK hate here.

I've had it with these assholes!

GYFHG!!!
P.S. Thanks for the shoutout, moe :)

Steve said...

I am just re reading my last couple of posts. Some people may be surprised that they make perfect sense to me. You see I wrote them originally in Korean and then used the Google toolbar to translate them into English. I see now that you can not really count on the cloud.

moeman said...

tsn & dredger have had a Habs hate on for years.

Moey said...

@orange,

I'm not sure if it's LSD or we've accidentally clicked on Klingon.com

It's making my head hurt.

moeman said...

Q 4 U:

Why is cbc/hnic always fucking looking for answers to 'fix' the leaf?

1. They leaf fans?

2. The leaf sucks?

3. Its in their contracts?

4. All the above.

5. 1, 2, 3 and 4

Moey said...

@moe,

I have no friggin' idea. Just imagine how insufferable they would be if the leafs actually get decent one day. Perish the thought.

Steve said...

@moemen, Wikileaks will answer all of your questions. Basically that Hicks guy who made GWB a millionaire was an agent working for Betman to destroy hockey. Come Monday thee will be an NHL franchise in Quebec City, Winnipeg and Halifax.

moeman said...

Like I needed to like PleXXXe even more.

cbc/hnic has little value and even less of any redeeming quality but Eliotte Friedman did a good piece on one of our faves in the sausage passer. PleXXXe's admiration for Bob Gainey is like a cherry on top (pun intended because we all know what their resident crotch sniffer has to say about the Habs and more specifically Europeans).

moeman said...

If he could derek roy would dive during the national anthems.

Orangeman said...

You know, I can handle the TSN and CBC hate-on for the the Habs (little bitching moments aside) but now it seems like a concerted effort to defame and embarrass PK. It's pathetic.

Dainer's Hubris said...

@ moe - they always try to 'fix' the Leafs because they ALWAYS NEED FIXING, and likely always will.

In baseball, the two Soxes had epic droughts - approaching a century. I wonder what kind of odds I'd get in Vegas on whether there'll be a "Cup-free Centennial Celebration" in Hogtown in a handful of decades, a bizarro version of our team's recent celebrations. I CAN'T fucking WAIT until Elliotte Friedman Jr. is interviewing the last Torontonian born before May 1967.

moeman said...

I love pie and I like Pyatt.

Orangeman said...

I've never seen a team more affraid of open nets. You have a gimme goal, a falling down defenceman is your only obstacle. Yes, you should go to the back of the net and consider your options before acting. You baboon.

Orangeman said...

Yay a 5 on 3!

iRiRi said...

Obvious prediction: if we don't score here... I don't even wanna say it!

iRiRi said...

Big Tits!

Orangeman said...

wOOt!

moeman said...

I love tits.

Orangeman said...

Wow, two very obvious penalties not called right away. Oh, CBC is saying PK dove, what a surprise.

And I'm glad they got the goal and everything, but what was that afterwards? A minute and a half of lame passes and missed shots. When was the last time a point man actually hit the net. Seriously.

moeman said...

Did Squid forget to take off his skate protectors?

moeman said...

Oh oh lindy (girl's name) ruff is pissed. I predict some dirty Sabres hockey here on in.

iRiRi said...

Ruff is losing his shit. I'm guessing were getting a PP?

Orangeman said...

Wow, the backpedalling of Galley and Cold is amazing. At first, the hit was 'one mississippi' too late and a bit too hard. Then it was half a second late and not thunderous. Then Cammy tried to start a fight and was reaching for the puck, so it shouldn't have been a penalty. Then Cammy embellished it. Wow. Just wow.

Again with the passing with an empty net. Unbelievable.

moeman said...

heh, hnic's resident neanderthal goon lover says 'tempers are short' in Montreal. You see kids, that is suppose to be funny. I hope he never dies but just shrivels up into the ball of hate that he is. What a disgusting PO$. mclame needs to be punCHed in the face, repeatedly.

Orangeman said...

My first time subjecting myself to Cherry in years.

1)Book plug
2)Montreal is pathetic. SHORT FUSES! hahahahahah!
3)Toronto, Toronto, Toronto. Toronto, Toronto, Toronto. Leafs.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, I'm done.

Orangeman said...

What's odd is that the AA commercial has a black man, teenage girl and black woman as their drunks. Now, I'm not one to yell racism, but you're airing this during a hockey game. Target audience? It's like using British actors for a dentist during Nascar.

moeman said...

TFS™ saves.

iRiRi said...

When the hell are we gonna play the Caps?!

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

@Orangeman

Done? Done? I turned over from RDS long enough to hear Cherry talk about how much he loves the Oilers even though they'll probably finish last and draft a "frenchman", and then go on to jerk off all over a big guy who's skills include checking people in the face and apparently nothing else.

When he dies, I'd like to throw a party, but that would be stooping to his level.

iRiRi said...

GIO!!!

Orangeman said...

Yay! Is it that strange that I half expected Gio to try to pass it back instead of just shooting it?

iRiRi said...

Did everyone fall asleep?

moeman said...

@TheGate, thats because Sean Couturier of the Drummondville Voltigeurs is a likely #1 candidate.

I predict Sean Couturier of the Drummondville Voltigeurs will play in the hokum cherry vs. Orr prospect game and cherry will eventually pre-dick that he knew and/or selected Sean Couturier of the Drummondville Voltigeurs to be a great draft choice. Regardless, when Sean Couturier of the Drummondville Voltigeurs becomes an NHL star, cherry will try to take all the credit, unless of course he's dead by then. Good luck to Sean Couturier of the Drummondville Voltigeurs.

~~~

G!O

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

I'm going to go out on a limb here, but possible final score tonight, 3-0?

Orangeman said...

@Yannick: No, stooping to his level would be calling him a Mick and a 'fairy' during his eulogy and then punching his grieving sister in the face and saying she doesn't follow the 'code' and had it coming. Then making some overt threat to the children in attandance that dare wear glasses. A party is the antithesis to what Cherry stands for.

iRiRi said...

"Special teams & goaltending"

I can hear it already.

moeman said...

G!O

Orangeman said...

GIO squared!

moeman said...

Sausage(y) pass.

iRiRi said...

w00t!!!

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

GIANT TURTLE TITS!

Orangeman said...

Yannick: That....that doesn't sound right.

HabsFan29 said...

FUCK AIR TRAVEL. 3:25 scheduled depart from Newark and I just walked in. i could have hitchhiked faster. at least my duty free scotCH is helping ease the pain

great work moe and GG! I am whipping it to the middle of the 3 pictures as soon as I'm done typing this

hey look, 3-0! standard score these days. at least we're on the good side of it tonight

iRiRi said...

SitCH is in the house!

The SitCH said...

my wife beater is stained with scotCH i am so excited about this 3-0 lead

iRiRi said...

PleXXXe on Inside Hockey

HabsFan29 said...

well i am enjoying this defensive shell for once

moeman said...

Nice 3-0 win Sens.

moeman said...

Fucking bob cold once again breaks the unwritten code that you don't mention the word shutout. What a fucking douchebag.

HabsFan29 said...

it's ok moe i'm watCHing RDS and they know the unwritten rules. we're safe knock wood

moeman said...

At least TFS™ can shut the door.

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

Nooooooo Pierre!

iRiRi said...

FUCKING BOB COLE.

moeman said...

There ya go you fucking old cold fuck.

Orangeman said...

It took 6 grown men to figure out the bench was blocking the bench door. Just pointing that out.

Fuck shit damn. You fucking piece of shit Sabers.

HabsFan29 said...

i spoke too soon. Fuck you Pierre

Orangeman said...

Have the Habs scored an EN this season?

moeman said...

galley and cold are all of a sudden excited, stupid fucks.

moeman said...

"Just about in the bag" with 30 seconds left. Sure thing there bob cold, you senile old cold fuck.

Orangeman said...

Wow, that was a bitch move. Who was that? Face wash, push down and then run behind the ref. Good thing CBC and especially Cherry will denounce this type of cheap sh....hahahahha.

moeman said...

Man do I love my team's Captain.

HabsFan29 said...

CHantal rocking the leather short skirt, tight sweater and fuck me boots on the antiCHambre preview. should be worth watching tonight

moeman said...

Told ya cherry would find some way to rip PFK.

How's that kadri kid workin' out for ya don?

moeman said...

GO ALS!

Moey said...

The leaf loving ditch pigs, aka as HNIC. Fuck Bob Cole, I'm spitting mad. Even McSplooge won't say shutout during a game.

moeman said...

gaston therrien (still not sure what a QMJHL coach, who can't get a QMJHL job is doing there) is mesmerized by CHantale's silky, see-through stocking'd knees.

bergoof, whilst at 110% madhouse use to literally snake-tongue at the mention of Plekanec. He use to call him the worst Hab and the most over-rated player in the NHL. This fat, bloated ex-Nord has the privilege to talk about our Habs?

therrien still yipping about Québecois. Mange de la crise de marde estie d'calisse.

Orangeman said...

So I'm supposed to spend tomorrow pretending I care about football. I'm going to look at it as city pride instead. But I'm new at this. If the Als win, what is the appropriate level of rioting? How many police cars shall I set aflame?

moeman said...

Scanning the web comments, funniest thing I've read in a while, Amaretto all over the MacBook;

"The Calgary Flames just like watching the Maple Leafs but two hours later..."

There is genius out there kidz.

Mr. natural said...

@orange flaming "black& whites"is reserved for hockey, for football just smash in some storefront windows (use that penis of yours) and steal some CHristmas booty, AARRggggg!

GYMFHG!

...darkness was upon CHocula's brain and the Lord said "Let there be light"and then all could see he was a PHucken 'moron.

Amen

moeman said...

Whats up with tsn desk jockeys still generalizing and ripping Habs fans. Disgusting. Are they frustrated leaf fans? Sick fucks.

Orangeman said...

@natural: Thanks for the tips. I live right off St Cats O these days, so I'll have to do my xmas smashing further east. I hope my family will be satisfied with dildos and gay porn. Again.

Mr. natural said...

@orange, LOL!

Ladyboys all around, CHEERS!