Sunday, November 14, 2010

There's a Hab for that ~ Game/App Review

Well that was some PleXXXian 7-2 fun until it turned to anger. Down goes Vodkov, OuCH! Read some J.T. for the status of the CH's D.

Power up your smartphones kidz and make sure your iTuna account has coin, its time to buy some apps.

iSave by TFS™ (Pricele$$)

Description: after deleting your Jaro 1.0 app (don't worry its backed-up), your iSave App becomes your personal Jesus, praise it.

Categories: Games, Sports, CHurCH


Language: Spoken in twisted tongue

Downloads: too many to count

Customer Reviews:

"Its so hot it keeps my head warm." ~ Alex Auld

"WTF!" ~ Twitted by Halak's agent

~ ~ ~
iD by Blue Line (cost recently lowered but still worth it)

Description: In version 2 of the pairings, this app grows on you and it plays well with iSave. Use the pivot feature to view Gill in landscape mode. He fits better on the iPad version.

Categories: Health, Sports, PFK!


Language: Mostly English and CzeCH, sometimes Russian

Downloads: as many as there are blocked shots, lots

Customer Reviews:

"Its genius, like my system." ~ Jacques Martin

"I like using the Gyroscope feature!" ~ P.K. Subban

~ ~ ~
iStaaled by Ass Holes Inc. (worthle$$)

Description: In version 2 of this First Person Shitter game, this app features a WhalerCane that takes out a star Habs player. Enjoy the permanent loop level.

Categories: Health, Sports, Medical


Language: @#$%^&*)?!

Downloads: Only works on fucking jailbroken iPhones.

Customer Reviews:

"Penalize what? I love this app!" ~ Blind ref

"Oh brother, though art bad!" ~ Jordan Staal

"Remember to buy that extra protection plan" ~ Vodkov

~ ~ ~
Net Flix by Seven Different Habs (8 free angry chicken wings)

Description: Don't blink using this app as you might miss one sweet goal after another. PinCH & Zoom yourself to PleXXXian giddiness.

Categories: Fun, Fun, Fun


Language: ET LE BUUUUT! translates into any language

Downloads: Cane goalie's still cleaning out their jocks

Customer Reviews:

"Shit." ~ Cam Ward

"Merde." ~ Paul Maurice

"I just love using the setup button!" ~ PleXXXe

~ ~ ~
iFives by Two Kids Having Fun (pennies from heaven)

Description: WatCH P.K. and Carey send eaCH other messages. There's text, sound, images and video. Doesn't play well with BBMers.

Categories: 1st Star, 2nd Star, 3rd Star


Language: go lo Bro

Downloads: keep em coming boys

Customer Reviews:

"I'd rename it iSmile" ~ Borat Gauthier

"Someone's gonna kill him." ~ glenn healey as blogged by don cherry

"Needs an iTuna song" ~ HF4

~ ~ ~
HabHab Revenge by The 2010 Canadiens (101 years of value)

Description: Based on the AroundMe and Groupon apps, this game is finally here after years of development. A refreshed version uses the team's multi-tasking, GioPleXXXeScoring, bob cole noise cancellation mics, better 3rd period battery time and faster processing power to full advantage.

Categories: Hockey's Greatest FranCHise


Language: FrAnglais

Downloads: The Molson Family thanks you, keep buying

Customer Reviews:

"Les Canadiens sont là!" ~ anti-CHambre members at the Bell Centre

"Its sucks." ~ brian burke

"Whats a Hab?" ~ the one lonely Cane fan in existence

"This app needs CHeerleaders!" ~ Kevin Lowe

"11-5-1!" ~ FHFrontPageDude
~ ~ ~

iBR by Angry Pure Wooler ($101)

Description: translation app that changes all your text to Québecois regardless of the keyboard language you choose, also available for the AnDruid platform

Categories: Orange, Blue, Grey


Language: Blue, um I meant Bleu

Downloads: 49.9

Customer Reviews:

"Meilleur que Bleu Nuit." ~ michel bergeron

"I need a cigarette." ~ Louise Beaudoin

"It smells old." ~ CHantale Macabée
~ ~ ~
Remember™ by The Mom ($100)

Description: Memory Minder app for kids, you can keep track of CHores, sCHedules, Mother's Day. Uses built in vibration as back massager.

Categories: School, Sports, Lifestyle


Language: Français, English, Hebrew, FaceTime

Downloads: Only available using Parental Controls

Customer Reviews:

"Thanks Mom, I love you!" ~ insert your kidz name here

"Its like a chocolate cupcake only better." ~ Moey

"Help my battery is at 8%!" ~ iRiRi

~ ~ ~
Try Finding My iPhone in the Bell Centre by LG77 (you can't afford it)

Description: aka WhereTF!isLG77!?, this is a great looking GPS-based app that uses Voice Control, triple tap and speak the name of a FHFer in attendance at the Bell Centre. If s/he answers, free beer at Hurley's! Doesn't work on the white iPhone 4. Oh, wait.

Categories: Beer, Social Networking, Beer


Language: Fucking iOS, what else is there?!

Downloads: can only be installed by Bumping your fave FHFer

Customer Reviews:

"Fuck!" ~ LG77

"You CHipped a nail, again!?" ~ Foula at Avanti

"Fuckin' BlackBerry!" ~ HF29

"Help my battery is still at 8%!" ~ iRiRi

"The iPower to be your fucking best!" ~ moeman

~ ~ ~
iPants! by FHFixxx ($10)

Description: your personal stripper app with shake and vibrate, take a picture of your fave Hab or Hab fan and undress him/her with a swipe of your, um, finger

Categories: Games, Health, Business


Language: Body

Downloads: heh

Customer Reviews:

"Its just like the real thing but I wish I could use it with my ovenmitt on!" ~ HF29

"Hip Hip Souray!", "Two beams up for Captain Kirk Muller!" ~ FHFemmes

"Tits!" ~ FHFHommes

~ Have a powerful day bitCHes, G Y F H! ~


HabsFan29 said...

iWow, iGG and imoe

in case you weren't informed, we don't pay overtime around here imoe

-sent from my Blackberry on the Rogers wireless network

Number31 said...

iLaughed iCried iLaughedMore

iRiRi said...

Wow! I've finally made it! Name dropped in a FHF post!

Absolutely genius, moe & GG!

P.S. For the record, that 8% battery was an anomaly. I usually keep it over 50% at all times, I swear.

GoldenGirl11 said...

I took a mini charger to the game last night. Fit in my pocket. I need Paxil when I have a low battery signal.

moeman said...

@iRiRi, you were name dropped twice and a bonus link to your 8% screenshot, whiCH makes three. Like GG says, keep those batteries CHarged.

Merci GG, had fun.

moeman said...

Glad you kidz enjoyed it.


moeman said...

tsn can't even find the energy to put a recent pic of Vodkov getting injured. Add that to the fact that they claimed all week (still not corrected) that the Canucks haven't lost vs. East teams this year. Fuckers.

Oh, look, its kadri and he has a splinter in his nose...

Orangeman said...

Vodkov out for 3 months?

iRiRi said...

@GG - Mini charger, huh? iWANT.

So that panic attack I had when I thought I had lost my iPhone was totally normal? Good to know.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@iRiRi for case/battery combo. HyperMac for bigger chargers. The best.

Moey said...

iLove. Especially Hal Gill fits better on an iPad.

Steve said...

Love your apps here is another

I-career threatening injury

Analyzes most valuable players on any Hab line up and predicts what injury they can expect and how what % of their current contract will be IR.


" works like Vodka on Puck Bunny" - Vodkov

" perfect for playing in Montreal "- Koviu

GoldenGirl11 said...

or if they will even get a new contract

GoldenGirl11 said...

I just watched the video of Markov going down. Andrei punches the boards at the 27 second mark and RDS confirms reports that he will be out for 3 months at the 29 second mark. "Uh oh! They're calling for the trainer. Looks like his knee and that he'll be out for 3 months". Those guys are good. And no expensive medical school to get in the way of that diagnosis.

Moey said...

Another app - iCoach

Would be a top seller at HIO.

Kmaxx said...

Will these Apps work with my Blackberry?

iRiRi said...

@Moey - These days, it would probably be pretty popular on Twitter too. Seems everyone and their mother is qualified to be a coach/GM/President/athletic therapist.

Steve said...

@Moey I -couch


" totally useless " - Rhino


auto picks small centers.
Option to concentrate on Belrussians

" it really got me " - Plexxx

"faster and cheaper than immigration lawyer " - Gravol

" will not return little tits " - Tits

Kmaxx said...

iLaff - Leafs Suck App

This is an app that should only be used during periods when we are sucking a little. The app synchs to Maple Leafs results to display automatic message that reminds us that things are not as bad as they could be!

Thinking about it - probably wise to have it on all the time - bound to bring a smile to your face!

Steve said...


Re: Leafs Suck App


" content rich, but takes up all my bandwidth" -Burka

iRiRi said...

Carey Price, NHL First Star of the Week.

Sounds good!

ti-cul said...


this jack ass app will spit venom and insult habs fan.

the gazette will pay you for your incompetence,stupidity and your ability to write like a 3rd grader. (apology to 3rd grader)

Steve said...



"can you say royalty " Mcsplooge

gillis said...


iRiRi said...

i'MaBitterAsshole - all Jack Todd, all the time.

@gillis - iLOL

Mr. natural said...

I am back! Jet lag still a minor issue.

Seems like our heros play best when I am traveling, maybe I'll stay the PHuck away!

Anyway man that's some hockey team we got going there, other than the Devil, whom we've never been able to compete with and... (PHUCK) Tampa Bay, after NJ seems to have quietly evolved to another team that has our number and with this year's personnel adding insult to injury.

Tuesday the PHucktards, THAT will be interesting.

*Sigh* Markov.....

But best of all, everyone saw the depth issues down the 401 and we all knew it was only an injury or two away before the Laffs lived up to their moniker, so after TSN sucks all that dick, how they would compete blah blah blah, it's a giant folderooony, sweet.


I will be back when I have something intelligent to say, don't hold your breath.

Le Douze said...

HIO is retreading the Agence QMI rumour that Vodkov may be done for the year, if not for ever. Sigh.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Agence QMI thinks they know everything ever since they hired that new guy Nostradamus.

Anonymous said...

Check it.

Le Douze said...

@GG - Well, my heart sank when I saw Marky punch the boards in frustration; I guess that's really all I needed to know. But could you let me know how to get in touch with that Nostradamus guy? He sounds like he could be really useful.

How long until we see PFK and Swiss Miss 2.0 on the PP? I guess even that might be better than the return of the dreaded Urologist.

moeman said...

collie has always been a douchebag.

Orangeman said...

Just checked, Habs PP ranked 20th! PK second. PFK first, of course.

moeman said...

The fans chanted, “CAR-EY! CAR-EY!” Price smiled behind his mask and bobbed his shoulders – up and down, up and down, like a boxer who’s feeling good in the fight – as defenseman P.K. Subban showed his approval.

“I told him that it was absolutely disgusting what he did,” Subban said after the Habs’ 7-2 victory.

“Somebody sneaks in the back door. I take my man to the net. I turn around, and he’s on his back or on his neck or something, doing something he shouldn’t be doing out there. It’s the Carey Price Show right now, man.”

GoldenGirl11 said...

Sorry, Nostré D'amus. My mistake.

Number31 said...

iDouche by Overzealous Press (twit free)

Description: Jumps to conclusions and finds obscure sources who apparently asked the laundry guy what's the verdict on a knee injury.

Catergories: Jerks, Rumors, Sports

Rating: Sucks

Language: Angry masses with pitchforks and torches

Customer Reviews:
"My sources say it's true but I can't divulge my sources" - Marinaro

"C'est vrai car suis RDS" - Lavoie

"(Russian for STFU)" - Markov

"I got 5 games for kneeing Kronwall, Collie." - Laraque


moeman said...

Sens sucked it big vs. PHI. A demain.