Power up your smartphones kidz and make sure your iTuna account has coin, its time to buy some apps.
Description: after deleting your Jaro 1.0 app (don't worry its backed-up), your iSave App becomes your personal Jesus, praise it.
Categories: Games, Sports, CHurCH
Language: Spoken in twisted tongue
Downloads: too many to count
Customer Reviews:
"Its so hot it keeps my head warm." ~ Alex Auld
"WTF!" ~ Twitted by Halak's agent
~ ~ ~
iD by Blue Line (cost recently lowered but still worth it)
Description: In version 2 of the pairings, this app grows on you and it plays well with iSave. Use the pivot feature to view Gill in landscape mode. He fits better on the iPad version.
Categories: Health, Sports, PFK!
Rating:
Language: Mostly English and CzeCH, sometimes Russian
Downloads: as many as there are blocked shots, lots
Customer Reviews:
"Its genius, like my system." ~ Jacques Martin
"I like using the Gyroscope feature!" ~ P.K. Subban
~ ~ ~
iStaaled by Ass Holes Inc. (worthle$$)
Description: In version 2 of this First Person Shitter game, this app features a WhalerCane that takes out a star Habs player. Enjoy the permanent loop level.
Categories: Health, Sports, Medical
Rating:
Language: @#$%^&*)?!
Downloads: Only works on fucking jailbroken iPhones.
Customer Reviews:
"Penalize what? I love this app!" ~ Blind ref
"Oh brother, though art bad!" ~ Jordan Staal
"Remember to buy that extra protection plan" ~ Vodkov
~ ~ ~
Net Flix by Seven Different Habs (8 free angry chicken wings)
Description: Don't blink using this app as you might miss one sweet goal after another. PinCH & Zoom yourself to PleXXXian giddiness.
Categories: Fun, Fun, Fun
Rating:
Language: ET LE BUUUUT! translates into any language
Downloads: Cane goalie's still cleaning out their jocks
Customer Reviews:
"Shit." ~ Cam Ward
"Merde." ~ Paul Maurice
"I just love using the setup button!" ~ PleXXXe
~ ~ ~
iFives by Two Kids Having Fun (pennies from heaven)
Description: WatCH P.K. and Carey send eaCH other messages. There's text, sound, images and video. Doesn't play well with BBMers.
Categories: 1st Star, 2nd Star, 3rd Star
Rating:
Language: go lo Bro
Downloads: keep em coming boys
Customer Reviews:
"I'd rename it iSmile" ~ Borat Gauthier
"Someone's gonna kill him." ~ glenn healey as blogged by don cherry
"Needs an iTuna song" ~ HF4
~ ~ ~
HabHab Revenge by The 2010 Canadiens (101 years of value)
Description: Based on the AroundMe and Groupon apps, this game is finally here after years of development. A refreshed version uses the team's multi-tasking, GioPleXXXeScoring, bob cole noise cancellation mics, better 3rd period battery time and faster processing power to full advantage.
Categories: Hockey's Greatest FranCHise
Rating:
Language: FrAnglais
Downloads: The Molson Family thanks you, keep buying
Customer Reviews:
"Les Canadiens sont là!" ~ anti-CHambre members at the Bell Centre
"Its sucks." ~ brian burke
"Whats a Hab?" ~ the one lonely Cane fan in existence
"This app needs CHeerleaders!" ~ Kevin Lowe
"11-5-1!" ~ FHFrontPageDude
~ ~ ~
iBR by Angry Pure Wooler ($101)
Description: translation app that changes all your text to Québecois regardless of the keyboard language you choose, also available for the AnDruid platform
Categories: Orange, Blue, Grey
Rating:
Language: Blue, um I meant Bleu
Downloads: 49.9
Customer Reviews:
"Meilleur que Bleu Nuit." ~ michel bergeron
"I need a cigarette." ~ Louise Beaudoin
"It smells old." ~ CHantale Macabée
~ ~ ~
Remember™ by The Mom ($100)
Description: Memory Minder app for kids, you can keep track of CHores, sCHedules, Mother's Day. Uses built in vibration as back massager.
Categories: School, Sports, Lifestyle
Rating:
Language: Français, English, Hebrew, FaceTime
Downloads: Only available using Parental Controls
Customer Reviews:
"Thanks Mom, I love you!" ~ insert your kidz name here
"Its like a chocolate cupcake only better." ~ Moey
"Help my battery is at 8%!" ~ iRiRi
~ ~ ~
Try Finding My iPhone in the Bell Centre by LG77 (you can't afford it)
Description: aka WhereTF!isLG77!?, this is a great looking GPS-based app that uses Voice Control, triple tap and speak the name of a FHFer in attendance at the Bell Centre. If s/he answers, free beer at Hurley's! Doesn't work on the white iPhone 4. Oh, wait.
Categories: Beer, Social Networking, Beer
Rating:
Language: Fucking iOS, what else is there?!
Downloads: can only be installed by Bumping your fave FHFer
Customer Reviews:
"Fuck!" ~ LG77
"You CHipped a nail, again!?" ~ Foula at Avanti
"Fuckin' BlackBerry!" ~ HF29
"Help my battery is still at 8%!" ~ iRiRi
"The iPower to be your fucking best!" ~ moeman
~ ~ ~
iPants! by FHFixxx ($10)
Description: your personal stripper app with shake and vibrate, take a picture of your fave Hab or Hab fan and undress him/her with a swipe of your, um, finger
Categories: Games, Health, Business
Rating:
Language: Body
Downloads: heh
Customer Reviews:
"Its just like the real thing but I wish I could use it with my ovenmitt on!" ~ HF29
"Hip Hip Souray!", "Two beams up for Captain Kirk Muller!" ~ FHFemmes
"Tits!" ~ FHFHommes
~ Have a powerful day bitCHes, G Y F H! ~
36 comments:
iWow, iGG and imoe
in case you weren't informed, we don't pay overtime around here imoe
-sent from my Blackberry on the Rogers wireless network
iLaughed iCried iLaughedMore
Wow! I've finally made it! Name dropped in a FHF post!
Absolutely genius, moe & GG!
P.S. For the record, that 8% battery was an anomaly. I usually keep it over 50% at all times, I swear.
@iRiRi
I took a mini charger to the game last night. Fit in my pocket. I need Paxil when I have a low battery signal.
@iRiRi, you were name dropped twice and a bonus link to your 8% screenshot, whiCH makes three. Like GG says, keep those batteries CHarged.
Merci GG, had fun.
Glad you kidz enjoyed it.
i♥
tsn can't even find the energy to put a recent pic of Vodkov getting injured. Add that to the fact that they claimed all week (still not corrected) that the Canucks haven't lost vs. East teams this year. Fuckers.
Oh, look, its kadri and he has a splinter in his nose...
Vodkov out for 3 months?
@GG - Mini charger, huh? iWANT.
So that panic attack I had when I thought I had lost my iPhone was totally normal? Good to know.
@iRiRi
Morphie.com for case/battery combo. HyperMac for bigger chargers. The best.
iLove. Especially Hal Gill fits better on an iPad.
Love your apps here is another
I-career threatening injury
Analyzes most valuable players on any Hab line up and predicts what injury they can expect and how what % of their current contract will be IR.
Comments
" works like Vodka on Puck Bunny" - Vodkov
" perfect for playing in Montreal "- Koviu
@Steve
or if they will even get a new contract
I just watched the video of Markov going down. Andrei punches the boards at the 27 second mark and RDS confirms reports that he will be out for 3 months at the 29 second mark. "Uh oh! They're calling for the trainer. Looks like his knee and that he'll be out for 3 months". Those guys are good. And no expensive medical school to get in the way of that diagnosis.
Another app - iCoach
Would be a top seller at HIO.
Will these Apps work with my Blackberry?
@Moey - These days, it would probably be pretty popular on Twitter too. Seems everyone and their mother is qualified to be a coach/GM/President/athletic therapist.
@Moey I -couch
Comments
" totally useless " - Rhino
IDraft
auto picks small centers.
Option to concentrate on Belrussians
Comments
" it really got me " - Plexxx
"faster and cheaper than immigration lawyer " - Gravol
" will not return little tits " - Tits
iLaff - Leafs Suck App
This is an app that should only be used during periods when we are sucking a little. The app synchs to Maple Leafs results to display automatic message that reminds us that things are not as bad as they could be!
Thinking about it - probably wise to have it on all the time - bound to bring a smile to your face!
@Kmaxx
Re: Leafs Suck App
Comments
" content rich, but takes up all my bandwidth" -Burka
Carey Price, NHL First Star of the Week.
Sounds good!
iTurd;
this jack ass app will spit venom and insult habs fan.
the gazette will pay you for your incompetence,stupidity and your ability to write like a 3rd grader. (apology to 3rd grader)
@ti
comments
"can you say royalty " Mcsplooge
imeh
i'MaBitterAsshole - all Jack Todd, all the time.
@gillis - iLOL
I am back! Jet lag still a minor issue.
Seems like our heros play best when I am traveling, maybe I'll stay the PHuck away!
Anyway man that's some hockey team we got going there, other than the Devil, whom we've never been able to compete with and... (PHUCK) Tampa Bay, after NJ seems to have quietly evolved to another team that has our number and with this year's personnel adding insult to injury.
Tuesday the PHucktards, THAT will be interesting.
*Sigh* Markov.....
But best of all, everyone saw the depth issues down the 401 and we all knew it was only an injury or two away before the Laffs lived up to their moniker, so after TSN sucks all that dick, how they would compete blah blah blah, it's a giant folderooony, sweet.
COME HOME WENDELL CLARK'S BALLS, we love you man.
I will be back when I have something intelligent to say, don't hold your breath.
HIO is retreading the Agence QMI rumour that Vodkov may be done for the year, if not for ever. Sigh.
@Le12
Agence QMI thinks they know everything ever since they hired that new guy Nostradamus.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/news/story?id=5809513
Check it.
@GG - Well, my heart sank when I saw Marky punch the boards in frustration; I guess that's really all I needed to know. But could you let me know how to get in touch with that Nostradamus guy? He sounds like he could be really useful.
How long until we see PFK and Swiss Miss 2.0 on the PP? I guess even that might be better than the return of the dreaded Urologist.
collie has always been a douchebag.
Just checked, Habs PP ranked 20th! PK second. PFK first, of course.
The fans chanted, “CAR-EY! CAR-EY!” Price smiled behind his mask and bobbed his shoulders – up and down, up and down, like a boxer who’s feeling good in the fight – as defenseman P.K. Subban showed his approval.
“I told him that it was absolutely disgusting what he did,” Subban said after the Habs’ 7-2 victory.
“Somebody sneaks in the back door. I take my man to the net. I turn around, and he’s on his back or on his neck or something, doing something he shouldn’t be doing out there. It’s the Carey Price Show right now, man.”
@le12
Sorry, Nostré D'amus. My mistake.
iDouche by Overzealous Press (twit free)
Description: Jumps to conclusions and finds obscure sources who apparently asked the laundry guy what's the verdict on a knee injury.
Catergories: Jerks, Rumors, Sports
Rating: Sucks
Language: Angry masses with pitchforks and torches
Customer Reviews:
"My sources say it's true but I can't divulge my sources" - Marinaro
"C'est vrai car suis RDS" - Lavoie
"(Russian for STFU)" - Markov
"I got 5 games for kneeing Kronwall, Collie." - Laraque
"BRING ME THE HEAD OF ERIC STAAL!" - Number31
Sens sucked it big vs. PHI. A demain.
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