Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Not-so-deep thoughts on Flyers 3, Mad Max 2

As mentioned in TMS, I'm still trying to process my thoughts about the game last night. Five hours later, I still don't have a coherent theme running through my head. So there's only one way to try to come to a conclusion - shit out all my thoughts, random-style! So with apologies to those who do the quick bullet reviews much better than I (Number31, Boone), here are some superficial thoughts about last evening's sporting contest:
  • Well that was pretty dull from a violence perspective. Where were all the fireworks? Despite my desire for peace, I was expecting war. I can't even rant about goonery, for there was very little. Please do better the next time we play;
  • So exciting to see the glory of a francophone goal-scorer in action! A wondrous 50 foot wrist shot that should never have gone in! A beautiful lame duck shot traveling 3 miles per hour deflected by a Philly D between Boucher's legs! Quel marquer talentueux!
  • Approximate time the Habs spent in the Flyers zone between the start of the second period and about 3 minutes left in the game: 0;
  • Here's a list of allegedly offensive players who failed to show any offense whatsoever last night: Gomez, Gio, Squid, Pleks, Gomez, Tits, Gomez, Gomez;
  • Here's a list of allegedly defensive players who failed to show any defense whatsoever last night: SpatCHes, Hamr, SpatCHes, Hamr, Picard, SpatCHes, Hamr. Maybe I am being a bit harsh on the Czechs. They had some moments, like 2 or 3. Not 60;
  • What drug did the Habs take during the first intermission? I want some; I want to be a lethargic zombie too!
  • I know what the drug is, it's the Count Chokula Choke 'em Defensive Shell (available in tablets and 40-minute time release capsules);
  • I don't recall a Habs faceoff win all night;
  • Carey Price is a good goalie;
  • Carey Price is a good goalie;
  • Carey Price is a good goalie;
  • Carey Price is a good goalie even with more men in his crease than in a Jasmin St. Claire sex scene;
  • Yanick Weber on the fourth line is turning into an EPIC FAIL. Srsly, what's the point? IIRC, he didn't even do anything on the PP. IMHO, it's impossible to go from playing 25 minutes as an aggressive scoring D in Hamilton to 10 minutes as a checking forward in Montreal. WTF, why bother?
  • Lego is working his fucking ass off shift after shift more than any player on the team right now. Maybe try throwing him with some actual wingers Coach? Give him some of Gomez' playing time? Or is any of this too logical for you?
  • CHicken showed some real flashes of brilliance last night. CHicken showed some real stupidity on a tripping penalty last night;
  • The moribund PP that was showing flashes of coming around is headed back to being moribund;
  • The last two periods were just a replay of last year's playoffs right? Flyers use their size, Habs can't use their speed and the goalie is left to the wolves. Mmmm, flashbacks;
  • There's a classic Star Trek episode on TV in the background as I write this - Balance of Terror. In the ep, our heroes on the Enterprise (the Habs) battle the evil Romulans (the Flyers) in a tension-filled chess game of cat and mouse played out brilliantly between Kirk and the Romulan Commander. Each side has its strengths, and spends time looking for the smallest weakness in their opponent to exploit in order to strike the right blow to win the battle. In the end, Kirk plays dead in order to draw the Romulans in for the kill, and the Enterprise wins. Last night was nothing like that. Except for the "playing dead" part.
IN CONCLUSION, the sky is falling. Today at least.


soperman said...

Can you say bag skate?

Steve said...

Chocula should take all the no shows to the former Shell Refinery. In typical Chocula clear communication he could declare.

" Look at this, you could be working here if they had not closed it down, and you know what that means, your making the people of Quebec and Squid if you still care the people of Ontario pay an extra $0.10 per liter for gasoline."

Steve said...

@29 a Star Trek reference to an episode featuring Janice Rand, thats powerful stuff.

It makes me wonder when Chocula gave his speech between periods did it sound like Klingon to most the team?

GoldenGirl11 said...

I hate to go on about this but The Cameron Bure family has to be the best looking family - zealots or not - that I have ever seen.

iRiRi said...

@GG - I know, right? All tan, blond and blue-eyed! Val even has his own wine business.

Sign me up!

Habsfan10 said...

Dammit 29, I'm already pissed about that game - don't make me come over there and go Amok time on you.

See, it sounds dorky. Damn Trekkies.

Steve said...

@GG regarding Christian Zealot women, the ones on TV and like Cameron Bure are extremely blessed. I never thought that was the reason they were zealots before but it makes sense. I feel blessed my looks never threatened to drive me nuts.

The only thing I have to be really thankful for is that despite the fact I was born into a leafs family, I am a habs fan.

chris nilan said...

ok don't know this one... who's Lego?

HabsFan29 said...

@knuckles - updated the glossary box just for you

bea.habs.fan said...

Oh NO!!!!
Price is ahead on the goalie front on the all-star voting.
as great as it is he is gettong recognition, we all remember only too well what happened last time.
maybe we should all start multiple voting for other goalies,

hmanpuckfan said...

"Carey Price is a good goalie even with more men in his crease than in a Jasmin St. Claire sex scene"

Even in a time of despair, up rises a pearl!

Well played, my friend, well played.

Steve said...

The biggest thing I worry about is that TFS might have an agent who knows how to tweet. This agent might reevaluate TFS value to the Habs minute by minute. Afer all it is not TFS first Rodeo.

Number31 said...

Bullet points are awesome. They really put things into perspective.

Hey look! Chocula got angry! Guess he really isn't a cardboard cutout.

Steve said...

bullet point chicken

If I was making more than minimum wage to play hockey and one of the worst things I could do was take a penalty, I would hope I played for Boston. However is I played for a team the league hates to win like Montreal cause its in Canada, I would never put myself in a position where the ref could call a penalty. Thats a failure to communicate by Chocula. It like being a black man pulled over by the police, keep your hands on the fucking steering wheel and you cell phone on steaming video.

Anonymous said...

how about subban taking a run at giroux as the horn sounds in the third...

what a fucking loser that guy is.

all the habs fans that i saw in the building were wearing number 76...what a waste of a good sweater

Number31 said...

A hockey hit is not a run.

You want a run? Richards took a run at Kostitsyn from behind when he was busy battling for the puck with another player with a crosscheck up high to the back of the neck. Wanker.

But I'm sure that was "just hockey".

kevincrumbs said...

Speaking of PK, he's actually so classy and diplomatic that he can't even bring himself to say anything bad about Justin Bieber or all people...


kevincrumbs said...

"Of all people", rather than "or all people".