Following the Usual Parade Route: Habs 7, Whalers 4

We at FHF are still reeling from the fact the HARTFORD FREAKING WHALERS won a Stanley Cup a scant 2 years ago (mostly because we're all still living in the 80s). To add to the insult, the Whalers have seemed to own the Habs the last few years, so yesterday's game was a welcome return to the realm of hockey reality, at least the way we see it. Nice to see even Whalers fans hate their own owner, though.

Plan the Parade: Habs played like a cohesive unit (gasp), especially in the first. They then coasted a bit, but managed to keep it from getting close and hopefully saved some gas for tonight's game. The Habs continue to show why they belong with the "special needs" class, as six of their seven markers come on special teams: 5-7 on the pp, with a EN-SH goal by El Dandy to round to the scoring. Pleks has a career game with Kovy and Gui!, netting a pair of goals and assists (and, we assume, a pair of jubblies at the post-game celebration in Hartford's finest Gentleman's club). Plus he follows the intermission interview script perfectly by not answering one question from Luc "I the one who speak da good Hinnglish" Gelinas. My Boy Chips' fine play is rewarded by Coach Carbo with a shift one the "first" line, while Huet plays well enough to win. Whaler's coach Petie The Violet does his best Violet Beauregard impression after the parade of Whalers to the sin bin in the first (still doesn't come close to the Carbonneau Face, though). All the chincy "New NHL" calls go the Habs way, so I guess the Habs finally outbid the opposing team for their services (someone must have finally told the refs that the loonie is now the dominant currency in North America). They didn't get full value for their bribes, though, after the 2nd period call against Komo and the non-call and the non-call on the clear pic play against Kovy in the third. I guess we haven't reached "Leafs on HNIC " game-calling status yet. Kovy scored points #800 and 801 in his 1000th game; Giu!, ever cognizant of stats that he can quote to the bimbo from Laval at Newtown, does Kovy the courtesy of digging the puck from the back of the neyt on point #800 . Streit officially removes himself from the FHF milk cartoon with a goal and an assist, and the Swiss Miss turtles from what would have been a one-sided fight with Whaler J. Williams. But the Habs got a pp out of it, proving the Swiss always win when other people are fighting. Hamr again proves to be the anti-Souray with solid, if unspectacular, play at both ends.

The Sky is Falling: Whalers try to run CristoWall every chance they get after the first, and try to pick a fight with any Habs under 5' tall (hi down there, Franky and Streit). Brind'Amour again wins more faceoff than he loses - of course, having the ability to win puck drops with your Gonzo-like schnoz helps. (Seriously, if that guy got punched in the nose it would take his brain 24 hours to register the pain.) Habs play 5 on 5 hockey like the Timbets munchkins between intermissions. The "first" line stinks up the joint again, and Saks is relegated to the forthliners after he treats a Whalers forward like he's got an STD on the backcheck which set up the Whalers' 3rd goal. At least you can't say Carbo plays favorites. Wait, what's that Kovy? He does? Oh who asked you anyway.

Next Evil Foe: Pens tonight in the second half of back-to-back games. The Crosby show again, so look for lots of dives and whining. Let's hope MA Fleury continues his Red Light Racicot impression, and the refs read a rule book and figure out what "goaltender interference" means.