Friday, October 26, 2007

"Ladies and gentlemen, on stage for your dancing pleasure, the Carolina Hurricanes" - Game Preview and Open Thread (Special 10% Season Awards Edition)

So we are playing the Carolina Hurricanes AGAIN. Shit that's annoying. I've already previewed them twice. So here's the quick details - 7 PM in Carolina. It's on RDS. Habs on a 2-game win streak, and Kovy is playing his 1,000th career game tonight. Carolina is second only to Ottawa in the East, led by Cam Ward's 1.85 GAA and Eric Staal's 7 goals. Now you're ready (well, once you've had some beers).

Since I am not doing a full preview 'cause I am annoyed, I have something special for you. With 8 games in the books, the FHF is pleased to present the earliest season awards in the history of sports - the 10% Season Awards. Yes, I know it's only really the 9.8654% Season Awards, shut the fuck up you math geeks.

The tits (offence) - Kovalev. Hands down our most consistent offensive player through the 10%. And he's done it with rotating linemates (thanks, Carbo) which makes the feat all the more impressive. I cannot believe I just wrote that the Enigma is our most consistent offensive threat. Armageddon is upon us.

The tits (defence) - Huet and The Hamr (tie). Sounds like a bad sitcom, but they're both deserving. The Christo-Wall has been stellar, with a GAA under 2 and a save % of .934. He's kept us in games we had no business being in. Comes up with the big save when needed. Unflappable. I haven't heard a "Ca-rey!" chant yet while he's between the stripper poles. Hamrlik, after a bit of a slow start and a gaffe or two, has been our most consistent defensive D by a mile. He's +2, and it's always hard for a Habs D to be on the plus side. He's chipped in on the scoresheet too, with 5 points through 8 games. As I've mentioned many times since I went to my first game, seeing him live is the only way to really appreciate his play. Like a 45-year old stripper, you can't really look directly but you have to appreciate the veteran savvy.

The cellulite - Breezer. I know, I know, I pile on. But while he has possibly delivered some veteran presence on the blue line, he has definitely delivered some of the gaffes that made him famous. I've seen them. In his own zone, in the offensive zone, in the neutral zone. He would make gaffes in the end zone if hockey had them. Please god don't have him on the ice in any critical situation.

The armpit hair - Michael Ryder. One (crappy) goal through 8 games. I know he scores in bunches, but he better get going soon. He's supposed to be the goal scorer on the first line; he needs to start acting like it. Get some Screech in him or something. Dishonourable mention to Tenderness, who needs to get his ass shipped to Hamilton for a wake-up call. Good luck finding a decent strip club there, Gui.

Watching the game? At the game? Listening? Imagining the game in your head? Let's hear your dirty, dirty thoughts in the comments.

38 comments:

HabsFan29 said...

alrighty anyone around on a Friday night besides me?

I have a bad feeling though, sorry. But maybe it's just the drinking ive been doing since 4 PM...

HabsFan29 said...

ooh quick goal by the 4th line. Excellent!

crappy penalty. Bogus!

Habsfan10 said...

Three to one? What the hell?

Habsfan10 said...

Yes! That's what I'm talking about. And again! This is beautiful. The chant should be "are you Boston in disguise?"

CJAD boys wondered why Smolinski was on the power play instead of Ryder. Apparently they haven't seen a game yet this year.

Damion said...

it appears a few people on the team have been eating their wheaties. anyone know what the record # of goals in a period for the habs is?

HabsFan29 said...

I'm sorry, I can't deal with a Habs team that scores 4 goals and gets 15 shots in a period. That's not the team I know and love.

HabsFan29 said...

* 5 goals. My brain wouldnt let me type it because it knew it couldn't be true.

Habsfan10 said...

You'll get used to it.

Damion said...

so the great thing is that i search for records for most goals by one team in one period and i am happy to report the victims in both cases were the leafs:

for the habs i can't find anything more than March 20, 1944. habs beat the laffs 11-0 in a playoff game, scoring 7 goals in the third period.

for the nhl, i can't find anything more than buffalo scoring 9 goals against toronto in one period on march 18, 1981.

msevigny said...

I forgot the Habs played tonight, I've been watching the Lions (I live on the west coast). I'm thinking at this point maybe they're better off without me listening. I don't want to jinx anything.

lawyergirl77 said...

So I was watching the game in Shitomax at the Belle Province on Saint Jacques (that one was for you Panger), munching on a poutine (sorry HF10) in order to drown my sorrows at the fact that the lineup at the Cage went OUT THE FUCKING DOOR for the game tonight...

... and then the Habs scored FIVE goals against Ward on 15 shots!! I never wanted to leave that teevee ever!!

The boys on CJAD were being a bit harsh about the facts that the boys are coasting right now. Dude, they have to play the Pens tomorrow. I would coast with a 4-goal lead too!!

lawyergirl77 said...

Dude, Brind'amour looks OOOOOLD in HD...

HabsFan29 said...

LG id coast too

FUCK

ooh 2nd fight tonight. spirited game!

HabsFan29 said...

review!!! this is too much. ahhh penalty before the goal. woohoo!!

lawyergirl77 said...

What the FUCK Bouillon??? That was a ridiculous brain fart if I've ever seen one!!!!

But Jesus we're lucky...

If this was happening in Montreal, the refs would need full body armour to get out of the city alive.

HabsFan29 said...

damion you gotta check the record books for PP goals in a period. we had 4, thats gotta be at least close to a record

lawyergirl77 said...

Hey there HF29 - I tried to find you guys at the game last Monday, but I didn't see ya!

And that Lecavalier St.Hub ad made me laugh in spite of myself... I feel unclean.

lawyergirl77 said...

HF29 - the guys on CJAD said that 4 PP goals in a period ties the franchise record for the Habs.

PENALTY SHOT?? Whaaaat?

HabsFan29 said...

LG first row whites 33-something. the guy booing Breezer, though that doesnt narrow it down much

penalty shot! this game has everything

boooooo

HabsFan29 said...

nice bounce. complain about that, Bruins!!

lawyergirl77 said...

Ah, you're on the other side of our seats. We're in 315, first row of greys..

HabsFan33 said...

Should the Habs outscoring theb opposition 16-5 in he last 2 games and the periods put a smile on my face? Let's call it a start.

Hi everyone.

HabsFan29 said...

these RDS after period interviews are just gettting worse. i don't think they even understood each other in that one.

4 goal lead headed into the 3rd. who's having fun??? WOOOHOOO!!!

HabsFan29 said...

33! wassuuuup

Does the Cage wings promotion apply only to home games?? are the marketing guys there in trouble??

HabsFan33 said...

Only home games my wing loving friend, only the home games. You hungry?

HabsFan29 said...

munchies? me? nooooo...

HabsFan33 said...

For away games, the promo is 10% off all Paul McCartney and the Wings CDs or Wings Season 2 DVDs.

HabsFan33 said...

You home on the HD 29?

lawyergirl77 said...

Actually - the wings promotion works for ALL Habs games. They showed the promo when the Habs scored their fifth goal.

You can print up the coupon on the Cage's website.

Hi, my name is LG77 and I am a chicken wing whore...

lawyergirl77 said...

Got off the phone with Panger a few minutes ago. He said he'd come and hang out with us, but I think he was lying...

HabsFan29 said...

33 me and the HD are developing an intimate relationship

yes LG! Wings woohoo!!! i'm a wings... pimp?

HabsFan29 said...

I was gonna type "FUCK", but Carbo mouthed it before I had a chance.

lawyergirl77 said...

Dammit. Koivu looked bad on that one. Stupid 'Canes.

lawyergirl77 said...

Graham has a girl in a bikini on his mask... That just somehow seems wrong. (She's not that hot)

lawyergirl77 said...

is the old lady sitting behind Carbo asleep???

HabsFan29 said...

thank god we built up that lead...

HabsFan29 said...

nothing wrong with that i guess. pretty crap 3rd period standing around but 7 goals, eh?

lawyergirl77 said...

yeah, the 3rd was crap. But the first was frickin' amazing!! Plus, as I said before, I don't mind a little coasting when we have a four-goal lead in a back-to-back games situation...